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CDH -- One Year In

30 Posts
18 Users
84 Reactions
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Posts: 1270
Topic starter
(@rebeccabaxter)
    Cornwall, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 year ago

Well, doesn't time fly?!

By midnight tonight, I will have been a member of Crossdresser Heaven for one year, and what a year of highs and lows it has been.

I haven't been backward in coming forward about my medical problems so suffice to say that it's taken a year, but my operation has finally been done and hopefully, will heal itself in the next few weeks. That's the lows out of the way, not that they were (are) trivial in any way.

However, that is not what this is about, it's about cross-dressing, Crossdresser Heaven and finding my feminine side.

Obviously, because I actually took the step of joinng CDH, I was already doing a little bit of dressing: a skirt in the evenings, perhaps some water-filled condoms as forms in a cheap bra just to feel what it was like. After I joined CDH and read about other people's activities, I started to use makeup, paint my nails, and in (I think it was) February, I had my ears pierced and bought a cheap wig. The wig, and most of my clothes in those days, came from the Chinese company Temu and were very good value while I was finding my style. I did feel a little guilty, knowing that the stuff from that company was not necessarily very good for the environment and realised, quite quickly, that their production methods for clothes used way too much formaldehyde (which gave me a rash). My clothes are now bought from reputable(?) companies and although I pay a lot more, they are better made and unlikely to be binned after a couple of disappointing wears. The two wigs I use the most often are twenty times the price I paid for my first one from Temu but they give me confidence.

It is with this confidence that I now go out in public on a regular basis, having been to a theatre packed with other people. I go shopping in town and often visit garden centres (usually ones that also sell women's clothing).

As I've said elsewear, I bought a car suitable for a woman-about-town. OK, I may have mislead a little previously as I was probably going to buy a car at some point anyway, but Becca wanted something different so Schmoo (as I call her), the Smart car, came into the family and is also graced with a vanity number plate which ends in the letters CDR and lots of flower decals and pink pawprints.

Just after the mid-year, having already made hundreds of posts on here myself and writing an article, I became an editor and I hope, in my time, what I've done with the articles has come across well and that I haven't upset the authors too much with my pedantry for grammar and spelling.

Throughout all this my wife has stood by me, only really getting upset when I got carried away for a while and thought about going around the village 'dressed'. Hindsight tells me that she was right and I've backed off a bit locally--although my next door neighbour came to my door while I was dressed and there was no escape, so I just ignored it, spoke to her, and bluffed it out. She has spoken to me since but time will tell what, if any, damage it did (not that I care much; it's my life, my house).

I have become so much more in touch with my feminine side. I like bright, shiny things and my male dressing has become less dowdy--although trying to find bright clothes for men is so difficult. I take much more interest in women's issues and their daily struggles with idiot men, nationalities and religions.

I like being a man, but I like being Becca whenever the time feels right and I am lucky enough to be able to do that. Would I change to Becca forever? No, not a chance. Would Becca want to disappear back into the cupboard? Equally, not a chance. I like to think that with two lives living in the same body, I get two goes at everything (but sadly, only half the time as each). 

CDH has become a daily place to visit for me--usually several times from morning to night--and has rather become a home from home. CDH is not intimidating, there is no flaming (that I have seen) and its gentle, supportive atmosphere has given me a haven from world news and the trials we all live with outside of here. Long may the site live and I'll do my best to do my part to keep it here.

Best wishes to you all in this new year and I hope all your dressing goes from strength to strength.

Kindest regards

Becca

xx

 

PS Sorry to go on. I was going to make it an article but it's too much about me (no, that hasn't stopped me before 😀) to have a general interest, so I made it a topic instead.

Reply
29 Replies
13 Replies
(@katiep)
Joined: 3 months ago

Reputable Member     Nottinghamshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 142

@rebeccabaxter Happy New Year / Anniversary / post operation. Personally I am with all the way bar the going out and about. That subject still needs to addressed and negotiated, hopefully 2025 is the year.

Reply
(@rebeccabaxter)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 1270

@katiep Looks like you've already come a long way, perhaps a good next step might be to show us what you look like here on CDH. My first picture on here was taken on the day I first went out as Becca, but you needn't go that far. In any event, I hope all goes ok this year.

Hugs

Becca

Reply
Duchess
(@mkat3874)
Joined: 4 months ago

Reputable Member     Northeast GA , Georgia, United States of America
Posts: 154

@rebeccabaxter 

Happy New Year!  2024 was for me as well a year of great change.  I've been able to get out into the world as Michelle and it's been absolutely amazing. Looking forward to an even greater year ahead. 

Reply
(@rebeccabaxter)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 1270

@mkat3874 It is fun, isn't it. Mind you, for you it must be easy, you are quite the gorgeous woman. I think I have to work at it much harder then you Big Love Eyes  

Becs

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Duchess
(@mkat3874)
Joined: 4 months ago

Reputable Member     Northeast GA , Georgia, United States of America
Posts: 154

@rebeccabaxter 

Thank you. You're too kind. 😊 

Don't sell yourself short. You look fantastic in all your photos. So perfectly put together.  

My first day out was utterly terrifying and exhilarating at the same time but it gets easier each time. 

Reply
Duchess
(@rebeccaoh)
Joined: 7 months ago

Estimable Member     Oxford, Ohio, United States of America
Posts: 70

@rebeccabaxter You really got me with this section.”I like to think that with two lives living in the same body, I get two goes at everything (but sadly, only half the time as each).”  Very well written as I’d expect from yourself, and it really resonates. Wishing you a 2025 filled with time for both lives, especially Becca!

Reply
Duchess
(@gracepal)
Joined: 5 months ago

Noble Member     South Carolina, United States of America
Posts: 971

@rebeccabaxter Well, I can’t window shop the forums and not stop at this one. As always - a very well written and thought provoking post Becca. However, (and you might hate this take), it seems to me that you are the very epitome of a typical crossdresser. Quite similar to many of the girls on here. In fact, a lot of your attitudes toward crossdressing remind me of …me!👩‍🦳 Your main difference is coming to it much later in life. Kinda disproving the argument of many that we are “born this way”. Obviously, not everyone is.

That said, you are unique in that you have an honesty in your posts that a lot of us find refreshing. You don’t go along just to get along. You don’t hesitate to express your views even when they don’t fit the narrative. IMO we need more of those girls here on CDH. I like to read and learn about other peoples opinions that are different from mine. I’ve changed my mind about a few things since I’ve joined the site. And you’re good at giving us a nice feel for the life of a crossdresser living in an English village. I feel like I’m reading an ongoing serial. Keep painting us those vivid pictures that you are so adept at 🥰

GP

Reply
(@rebeccabaxter)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 1270

@gracepal I love receiving your replies, although I find myself a little nervous before I open them, wondering what honest opinion you are going to thrust upon me 😊; I'm not usually disappointed 😀 

TBH, cross-dressing is one of many forays I've made into alternative lifestyles but probably the only one I can physically continue to do in my seventies. I'll not go into detail as it would be embarrassing in parts but somewhat gasconade in others (I had to look up gasconade).

Indeed, I haven't been a cross-dresser all my life, although I have occasionally role-played over the years. What I do now is different, there is no sexual aspect at all, none, I just feel comfortable when out dressed, a little more confident than in drab: I really am someone else as Becca.

I have no idea what's in the next episode, I'll have to wait the same as everyone else.

Wide Eyes

Becca

Reply
Duchess
(@gracepal)
Joined: 5 months ago

Noble Member     South Carolina, United States of America
Posts: 971

@rebeccabaxter No worries BB! I’m only honest with my friends…everyone else I just go along to get along🤣. Learned a new word too, “gasconade”. Lots of that here on CDH🥰

Reply
Duchess
(@augustvaliant)
Joined: 6 years ago

Noble Member     Long Island, New York, United States of America
Posts: 1492

@gracepal Window shopping the forums! I love that!! Excellent turn of phrase!

Reply
Duchess
(@gracepal)
Joined: 5 months ago

Noble Member     South Carolina, United States of America
Posts: 971

@augustvaliant ‘Preciate that AV😊

Reply
Duchess Annual
(@firefly)
Joined: 7 years ago

Noble Member     Panama, Panama, Panama
Posts: 1100

@rebeccabaxter Congratulations!

Gisela

Reply
(@finallyfiona)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Leighton Buzzard, Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 1439

@rebeccabaxter Becca, congratulations on your first anniversary here too.  I'd forgotten that we'd joined quite so close together!  I've greatly enjoyed following your story this year and it's always a pleasure to see a new thread from you to read.  Here's wishing you much more enjoyment for year two!

Posted by: @rebeccabaxter

I like to think that with two lives living in the same body, I get two goes at everything (but sadly, only half the time as each).

That's the difference between consecutive and concurrent where the lives are concerned 😉

Big hugs,
Fluff xxx

 

Reply
Posts: 1026
Managing Ambassador
(@melodeescarlet)
Famed Member     DC/Baltimore, Maryland, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

@rebeccabaxter Congratulations on your anniversary and thank you for all that you contribute to CDH! May Year 2 be as productive and happy for you! 🙂

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Posts: 1776
Baroness
(@annaredhead)
Famed Member     Cornwall, United Kingdom
Joined: 11 months ago

Happy anniversary Becca! Hope that you're continuing to heal well.

Thanks for the interesting and thought-provoking topics you bring to the forum.

Hugs,

Anna xx

Reply
1 Reply
(@rebeccabaxter)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 1270

@annaredhead I overdid it the other day and set myself back a few days but hopefully, I'll get there eventually.

Becca

Reply
Posts: 3381
Hostess
(@ab123)
Illustrious Member     Surrey, United Kingdom
Joined: 5 years ago

A year already Rebecca it has gone so quick yet you have come so far despite the medical issues, which of course hope they improve. It took me many years to get to where I wanted to be and my Temu of the day was mail order through the magazines or newspapers, the Temu product would have seemed like Gucci compared to what I received!

I just wish CDH was available during my formulative years as it would have perhaps accelerated my dressing due to the mine of help and information that is available here but then things were different all round back then so staying secret was better for the health as it were. Still once I was out the accelerator was hit and away I went.

Discovering the world of crossdressing at a later age seems quite a usual thing and I often wonder if it is actually there all the time but lays dormant, in some cases stirring occasionally until the testosterone starts to wane.

It was nice to read of your progress and thoughts around your dressing and wish you a great 2025 of more adventures, progress and posts.

Reply
1 Reply
(@finallyfiona)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Leighton Buzzard, Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 1439

@ab123 

Posted by: @ab123

Discovering the world of crossdressing at a later age seems quite a usual thing and I often wonder if it is actually there all the time but lays dormant, in some cases stirring occasionally until the testosterone starts to wane.

I think of it in a similar way, a bit like the sand and rocks at the edge of the sea as the high tide of testosterone turns and goes out.  The taller the rocks and the lower the tide was in the first place, the sooner parts of your femininity start to poke above the surface of your life 🙂

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Posts: 182
Duchess
(@emilysouthern)
Reputable Member     Fayetteville, Arkansas, United States of America
Joined: 1 year ago

Congrats on your one year milestone Becca!  (love your new car)

I too passed the one year mark recently, and on the night of the Lake Erie Gala..

Reply
1 Reply
(@rebeccabaxter)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 1270

@emilysouthern I love my new car too. It's an automatic and it has cruise control but unfortunately the engine isn't really up to cruise control and changes down at the slightest rise. It is such fun to drive though and you can turn round in a normal road in one go as the turning circle is less than 7 metres.

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Posts: 1770
Baroness Annual
(@d44)
Famed Member     New York, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

It's been an eventful year for you Becca, can't wait to see what the next 12 months brings. I look forward to hearing more of your odyssey.

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Posts: 7782
(@aliceunderwire)
Illustrious Member     Near Burlington, Vermont, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

Hey Becca,

Happy New Year!  Congratulations and happy 1 year anniversary.

Alice

Reply
Posts: 1740
Duchess
(@alison-anderson)
Noble Member     Middlesex county, New Jersey, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

When do you have time to go out and have Becca time? You have made quite a few posts in just one year! 😀 

Congratulations on your anniversary! Keep up the good work, and take care of yourself. I can't wait to see what the next year brings.

Reply
1 Reply
(@rebeccabaxter)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 1270

@alison-anderson I know, I am such a gossip! Flirty Kiss

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Posts: 1492
Duchess
(@augustvaliant)
Noble Member     Long Island, New York, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

Hi Becca!

Happy CDH-iversary!!!

Hugs,

Autumn

Reply
Posts: 2088
Hostess
(@cdsue)
Famed Member     Delaware, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

Becca -

Happy Anniversary and continued speedy recovery from your surgery.

It is nice to read of your journey over the last year, may it continue to be a joy for you. I do enjoy reading your postings and articles.

XOXO
Suzanne

Reply
1 Reply
(@rebeccabaxter)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 1270

@cdsue Thank you Suzanne, I am so pleased I found this place and now I'm here, everyone else, not so much [Jesus, doesn't she EVER shut up!] Laugh Cry

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Posts: 58
Guest
(@Anonymous 99924)
Trusted Member
Joined: 2 months ago

Happy Anniversary Becca wishing you a speedy recovery from your surgery.

Allison 

Reply
Posts: 430
Lady
(@stephanieann)
Honorable Member     Northern California, California, United States of America
Joined: 2 months ago
 
Becca 
 
    Congratulations  & Best of Wishes  On your 1 year Anniversary
 
     Big Warm Huggs 
     Stephanie👠 
 
    
 
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