Clocked and talked

Trisha it is so difficult to make friends you can actually go meet with in our world. I have been out before with both gg friends and cd/tg friends and it is a wonderful experience. I am not sure how I would approach another cd/tg in the wild out of respect for them, but would probably have to try. Schedules seem to be my biggest issue with meeting up with other ladies. Work, family, responsibilities and life have prevented me from meeting up much, but one of my most pleasant memories was meeting our very own Edie Majeski for a lovely picnic one time. We really didn’t do much but chat and eat, yet it was WONDERFUL!!  I wish you luck finding friends to go out with and maybe even meeting another cd/tg randomly in the world.
🍷C

Just hop across the pond

Trisha

I have no illusions. Meeting out and about is about 2 trillion to 1. Just thinking out loud is all.

I stopped in at 7-11 on my way to work last week, and noticed the guy behind the counter wearing a t-shirt under his work shirt that had a decidedly feminine type of collar. He commented on my nail polish, and that he liked to paint his nails, but that they chipped a lot. I told him I was using Sally Hansen Miracle Gel, a 2 part system that works well for me in an industrial environment. I suspect he might be one of us, but... didn't ask.

Bridgette

Trisha it isn’t the statistics that matter, it is finding the right friend that is willing and able to meet. I have found so many “friends” here that after clicking that button you never hear from them again, but I have also found some that after pm’ing a while we truly develop a friendship. Don’t give up!  I had a statistics professor in college use the exact same set of numbers to prove a company was making money, loosing money and breaking even all at the same time. He told us figures don’t lie, but liars figure. Throw the numbers out and go enjoy life, it is way to short to worry and give up. Wish I was closer, we could go find coffee and I could mug you and steal those cute blue heels you have. 😂😂
🍷C

Trisha.  It can be challenging to meet in our world, like many have stated already.  But as also has been mentioned…no risk, no reward.

I live in Ohio now but when I lived in Indiana, I had more time to express myself as Dana.  I spent a fair amount of time in the Detroit area and some time near Indianapolis.  There is a wonderful lady on CDH here that I have met a few times.  She and I met for coffee once and once we met at a bar for an evening.  We had a great time at the bar….better than I had expected. Just two girls out on the town and enjoying being us.

I have met a couple of others in the Detroit area, but it can be challenging.  Some risks I took I would not do again, but some I would do again in a heartbeat.  Safety is something we have to think about….unfortunately.

no one can tell you what to do, but I hope you find some fun with other CDs soon!  Friends are precious.

hugs….  Dana

Bridgette. I too complimented a guy with red polished nails who was working at one of my grocery stores. I thought about what I could say to him next time I went in but he was gone. Don't know what the case was.

In my conservative area its rare to see a CD out in public. I think I've seen only one dressed. I think one of the problems approaching an obvious CD in public when in male mode is they don't know your intentions so I've thought of my first line being... "Hello sister, love your nails, etc.".... hopefully they would pick up on the "sister" and realize I was a CD also.

They are pretty awesome 😍

It usually pays to take some risks.
I once framed a photo of me for my girlfriend. I spent a long time with the shop-keeper finding the right frame and surroundings. I eventually could not resist asking if she thought the lady in the photo bore a resemblance to me. She looked me up and down for a long while, eventually saying she thought she did. Were we related? I only wish I'd mustered a bit more courage and asked her whether she thought the photo was of my sister, my cousin, my daughter, or me.
I cannot recall ever having a negative conversation after outing myself, but I'm not naive enough to think that this is wise if, as in this case, the shop is only a block from where you live.

Ah, statistics, where you can have your head in the oven, and your feet in a bucket of ice, but on the average, you feel fine!

-my statistics professor

I gotta admit, I don't understand the mentality of making friends with other crossdressers we discover in the real world.

I have a wide group of friends, associates, and acquaintances. So does my wife. None of them were made on the basis of what they and we were wearing.

Certainly being a member of a group like crossdressing heaven does offer each of us a supportive haven, to discuss, lament, and share. And good friendships are made within this group - though a lot of vetting goes on in the process.

I think it's a bit Monty Pythonish to think we could go up to another crossdresser and say, hi, I am too, lets be friends.

You say the friends you and your wife have where not chosen by clothing. But I bet most where chosen by gender.   Most of my friends are male and 2 maybe 3 female. This is true for most people I know.

So no I am not desiring a friend or 2 that dresses like me.  I desire a friend or 2 that THINKS like me. A circle of friends that sit talk and function as sisters.

Trisha

I think making friends can be done in several ways and also several levels.
If I hear someone talking swedish I may go and at least say hi (in swedish).
If someone comes on a nice motorbike I may say hi.
If someone struggle with some technical stuff that I happen to know about I may help out.
It doesn't have to lead anywhere beyond a simple hi but it might.

Now when it comes to CD as the common thing it's a lot trickier. If I'm in drab, do I want to expose that I'm CD also? How will this person take it when exposed? Maybe working hard to pass and take it as a big failure if spoken to? Someone working on full transition or just trying out for Halloween? Or one responding with "Why is it that everyone want to talk to me about my clothes and never about anything else I do?"

On the other hand it can also go well, the person may think. What? I'm not alone?, I have someone who may understand me. Lets have a chat over a coffee...

I personally don't know what I would do and it will of course depend a lot on what situation it happens in but I do hope I can do something else then stay quiet and move away.

/kt

Finding another CD out in public can be pretty rare.  Making contact with her is even rarer, except in the case of CD/T friendly establishments.  And even then, newly out sisters can be quite shy or even skittish.

Using statistics and percentages can make things look promising, or bleak depending on how 'out' we all are.

The town I live in is right around 19,000 people.  Given the theorized amount of 1% being CD/T, that would give the chance to meet 189 other girls like me.  Reality makes it much different though.  I am fairly well known in town from approx 30 years of being out here.  Yet, I only personally know 3 other CD's, and 2 girls in transition, that live here in town.  All the rest seem to be in deep cover somewhere.

I don't bite, and am pretty approachable, so I don't think I scare people.  Are they just not ready to meet or at least acknowledge other girls?  Are they just content to keep the doors and windows closed and not meet others?  Or are they just that scared to let the world know them?

Meeting each other in public, by design or accident, requires some very delicate initial interactions.   A friendly smile is the best attempt we can make before leaving it up to the other person to accept or deny any follow up.

Be careful when you do see another, but also be as friendly and non-threatening as possible, read their body language and be aware of your own, too.  It is very possible to meet a new sister, but also rare at the same time.

PaulaF