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Closted Anymore?

29 Posts
13 Users
82 Reactions
279 Views
Posts: 310
Lady
Topic starter
(@brandicd11)
Reputable Member     New York, United States of America
Joined: 1 year ago

Hello Ladies,

Following up on my last topic -  I was thinking if you have been caught crossdressing are you really a closeted crossdresser?

Hugs,

Brandi

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28 Replies
14 Replies
Ambassador
(@alexina)
Joined: 1 year ago

Illustrious Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 2210

@brandicd11 

A good follow-up topic, Brandi. In my opinion "closeted" can apply to friends and family, not just one's SO. Then there's the one's who have been caught but promise never to do it again..but do. They've been outed from a comfortable closet and have to find another one to hide in.

Unless I can walk out my front door and go anywhere en femme, I'll be closeted to a degree.

Allie x

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Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 2 years ago

Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 4018

Posted by: @alexina

Unless I can walk out my front door and go anywhere en femme, I'll be closeted to a degree.

Which is why a lot of crossdressers dress stealthily or androgynously. It at least gets us out our front doors.

I was pleasantly surprised to hear from so many of us, over the last two months specifically, who dress this way. This is my shout out to y'all! Good going! 👍

 

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Lady
(@brandicd11)
Joined: 1 year ago

Reputable Member     New York, United States of America
Posts: 310

@harriette 

Hi Harriette,

Thank you for replying.

It is a way to go but is it not the more androgynous one goes out, the more a crossdresser is tipping there hand?

Hugs,

Brandi

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Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 2 years ago

Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 4018

@brandicd11 Not necessarily, at least in my experience, in the way that I dress. Some days, it would take close scrutiny to figure out what I am doing. Other days?

I keep pushing my limits, though, expanding what I do. If I only underdressed, only my undertaker would know. When I don't hide my fingernail polish at the grocery store or if I wear my block-heeled open-topped shoes when I go abroad, well...

 

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Lady
(@brandicd11)
Joined: 1 year ago

Reputable Member     New York, United States of America
Posts: 310

@harriette 

I must confess pushing the envelope as far as one can, does not sound like one does not want to be closed CDer any longer.

Hugs,

Brandi

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Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 2 years ago

Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 4018

@brandicd11 Correct, but then I have never been closeted. But the basic idea is the same.

If you don't want to get caught crossdressing, the safest strategy is to not crossdress. Anything else adds risk.

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Lady
(@brandicd11)
Joined: 1 year ago

Reputable Member     New York, United States of America
Posts: 310

@harriette 

Hi Harriet's,

You are correct. Like Calvin Coolige once stated, "Want to keep a secret, do not tell anyone."

Same point applies to your view, do not do the crime if you do cannot do the time."

Turtles,

Brandi

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Lady
(@brandicd11)
Joined: 1 year ago

Reputable Member     New York, United States of America
Posts: 310

@alexina 

Hi Allie,

Thank you for replying.

Yes, you are technically closted to a degree, but someone knows and like me your secret is in danger of being exposed.

Hugs,

Brandi

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Managing Ambassador
(@lizk)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 3859

@brandicd11 

I don't think so.  I was caught several times.  Both parents, my sister, a couple of friends, and my ex caught me.  I was still in the closet years after.  Being closeted is more about a lack of self-acceptance.   Learning to live with who you are gets you out of the closet.

/LK

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Lady
(@brandicd11)
Joined: 1 year ago

Reputable Member     New York, United States of America
Posts: 310

@lizk 

Hi Liz,

Thanks for your response.

Interesting point, this world is just a matter of confidence and reality.

If you saw me in person, my manners, etc never would think Brandi existed inside me.

Not making excuses - literally it is what it is!!!

Hugs,

Brandi

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(@katiep)
Joined: 3 months ago

Reputable Member     Nottinghamshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 142

@brandicd11 For to many years yes I was closeted but four years ago I came out to my wife but only dress at home. She is completely accepting I’m even dressing for Christmas lunch this year. Only dressing at home is technically being closeted but never say never in opening that door to the outside world.

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Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 2 years ago

Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 4018

Posted by: @katiep

never say never in opening that door to the outside world.

Would you like to take that first step and ease into whatever your goal is?

It seems that an itch needs to be scratched here. You can use a fingernail or a loofah brush to scratch an itch.

If your experience, so far, is only underdressing, then maybe start wearing some of your more gender neutral pieces when you go abroad. Women's jeans instead of your drab jeans. That sort of style change is really subtle and difficult to detect, unless there is some sort of obvious brand label or adornment on them. Then when that works, go even further.

Think about what you can do to build up your self-confidence, think about what it is that is stopping you.

 

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(@katiep)
Joined: 3 months ago

Reputable Member     Nottinghamshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 142

@harriette I already dress whenever I want and always with my wife present, I was alluding to dressing outside of the house environment.

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Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 2 years ago

Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 4018

@katiep Right, and I was trying to give you ideas on how you can easily start going abroad.

There are many styles of crossdressing and the Cadillac version is completely en femme. There are other less obvious, less stressful, less risky ways, too.

My best suggestion is to just start. Figure out what way works best for you, how far you want to crossdress in public. Results will speak for themselves.

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Posts: 3446
Hostess
(@ab123)
Illustrious Member     Surrey, United Kingdom
Joined: 5 years ago

It depends on who saw you and if the word gets around then you are now out. If it is someone who doesn't and nothing happens the door is slightly open.

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1 Reply
Lady
(@brandicd11)
Joined: 1 year ago

Reputable Member     New York, United States of America
Posts: 310

@ab123 

Hi Angela,

Thank you replying.

You are correct, the door is ajar but someone still has the knowledge.

A person I know showed us a picture of him and his wife and he was in her lingerie (bra and panties). They were on their honeymoon many, many moons ago. Nothing else was ever said.

Hugs

Brandi

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Posts: 124
Lady
(@carlaroberts)
Estimable Member     Omaha, Nebraska, United States of America
Joined: 4 years ago

Closeted for many years but mostly out, there are those to whom I don’t present enfemme, but yet if I were to run into those who may not know me as Carla, well they will just have to deal with it. Funny, as I was walking my dog, very early one morning in my neighborhood, I ran into and had a nice conversation with a neighbor lady who has likely never seen Carla, but could not have missed my bright red nails. I wear nail polish so often that I sometimes forget, but do remove it when it might be appropriate, but didn’t realize it until picking up after my dog. Oh well, a little farther of the closet if accidentally,

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1 Reply
Lady
(@brandicd11)
Joined: 1 year ago

Reputable Member     New York, United States of America
Posts: 310

@carlaroberts 

Hi Carlra,

Thank you for responding.

I respect your point, just find it interesting that this person knows, this person will not know.

Glad you are more out, more power to you on your journey.

Hugs,

Brandi

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Posts: 1742
Duchess
(@alison-anderson)
Noble Member     Middlesex county, New Jersey, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

I think others have kind of hit on this point. I go out walking through my neighborhood, even shopping locally on occasion. But I'm not out to family, except for my kids who live with me. And I'm not out to others in my community.

I don't think it is an either-or situation, as I can be out to some and hiding it to others.

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1 Reply
Lady
(@brandicd11)
Joined: 1 year ago

Reputable Member     New York, United States of America
Posts: 310

@alison-anderson 

Hi Allison,

Thank you responding.

I think it is tough to be selective in this situation, but respect your view.

Hugs,

Brandi

 

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Posts: 2111
Hostess
(@cdsue)
Famed Member     Delaware, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

Brandi -

What an interesting follow up question.

To the best of my knowledge only my wife and therapist know that I dress, that being said I would consider myself a closeted crossdresser. I do on occasion go out underdressed in panties, wear earrings 24/7 and my nails are painted (clear pink tinged clear gel on my fingers and color on my toes). I've received compliments a couple times about the earrings I'm wearing and had a couple ladies ask me if I had a manicure. When I told them that I did they liked that I did that and wished their husbands would get one. 

My at home dressing has gotten to the point where I can on occasion dress with my wife at home sometimes. I do go out on occasion underdressed in panties.  Also I do wear knee high nylons and ankle boots out at times (with my wife's knowledge and approval) and never had anything said.

I think it is an individual decision to decide if you are closeted or not and how deep in the closet you are.

XOXO
Suzanne

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Posts: 749
Lady
(@jess92)
Prominent Member     Florida, United States of America
Joined: 4 years ago

I've never actually been "caught". My mom and boyfriend both know I dress and even though I am technically closeted it doesn't feel like I am because I can dress at home whenever I want to and don't have a desire to dress in public anyway. Hope that answers that question!

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2 Replies
Lady
(@brandicd11)
Joined: 1 year ago

Reputable Member     New York, United States of America
Posts: 310

@jess92 

Hi Jess,

Thank you for your response.

Sometimes I honestly wonder if people around you do not mind, why would anyone else care and consider yoursel closted?

You stated you can dress around your house, my curiosity is why not go out dressed in femme outside since you have support inside your house and family?

Brandi 

XOXO

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Lady
(@jess92)
Joined: 4 years ago

Prominent Member     Florida, United States of America
Posts: 749

@brandicd11 Good points Brandi but it would be awkward to wear lingerie in public which is 99% of my wardrobe. And on top of it I just don't have a desire to dress in public because I have so much fun dressing at home for myself and my boyfriend.

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Posts: 1172
 Erin
Princess
(@erinb)
Noble Member     Ohio, United States of America
Joined: 5 months ago

A lot of good 😊 replies myself as a closet dresses is one that never ventures out staying behind closed doors keeping the secret 🤫 from all my SO knows but dose not support so I stay hiding 99.9 percent of the time in the dark closet I feel that all even the ones that adventure out in miner fem items are still in the closet when one leaves that safe space they clearly make that decision to go all in dressed in fem just my thoughts tho do understand that the word Closet can mean many different meanings TC 

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Posts: 1620
Baroness Annual
(@secretpassions)
Noble Member     Wisconsin, United States of America
Joined: 3 years ago

To me, I am still in the closet, as family, friends, and neighbors don't know. However the closet door is no longer nailed shut, since my wife knows. She has been wonderful! I can dress most evenings around the house now.

Celebrate

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Posts: 56
(@patricia1970)
Estimable Member     San Ramon, California, United States of America
Joined: 2 months ago

In my opinion, if you're hiding it, your closeted.  My wife, and I am pretty sure my daughter, knows, but I still hide it from them and the outside world.  I would argue that, even if you're dressing at home with a SO, but you're not freely walking the streets dressed, then you're closeted.  

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Posts: 310
Lady
Topic starter
(@brandicd11)
Reputable Member     New York, United States of America
Joined: 1 year ago

Hello Ladies,

Thank you all for your of your responses.

It sounds like to Brandi that no one is a completely closeted crossdresser. The cat is out of the bag for the majority to at least someone. More like the exception(s) to the situation is more the norm.

Brandi must CONFESS for the SOs or other individuals that know and are fine continue to express yourselves - more power to you!!!

Hope all had a Merry XMAS - happy holiday season, and have a Happy New Year to all!!!!

Brandi XOXO

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