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Hi Ladies,
I'm sure we've all been there at one point or another in our crossdressing journey. We've been browsing online, seen something we've liked, and decided to purchase it. Maybe we didn't measure ourselves carefully or maybe something was cut a bit different than advertised. Our new item arrives, we try it on, and at best we either just aren't crazy about it or the worst case happens and it just doesn't fit at all.
What do you do in this situation? Obviously, if you can return it that would be the first course of action. I have been able to do this a few times. Maybe the online retailer doesn't take returns or you've waited too long to return it which means you are stuck with it. I know I have purchased items that I have not been able to try on for up to 2 months simply because of my own dressing situation.
It seems a shame to just "toss it out" in this situation. I've considered listing some of this stuff online but it makes me uneasy especially since I'm a bit more private about this part of my life.
Is it possible to make a "Clothing/Shoe Exchange" here on CDH? I would think it could be a valuable service for our more private shoppers. I would feel better about passing something along to someone who might be able to use it. Obviously swapping certain things like panties would be a no-no. The expectations would be that everything was just tried on or lightly worn and that things have been properly cleaned prior to shipment.
For example, I have a pair of ankle boots I purchased online and did not get a change to wear for almost 2 months after they arrived. As I've mentioned in other posts, I have to try my shoes on due to an ankle injury from long ago that I'm still dealing with. These boots looked really great online and had positive reviews to back them up which is why I thought they would work for me. I can't wear them for any length of time and would like to see them go to a good home.
Please share your thoughts on this. Maybe it just can't be coordinated logistically here and if that is the case, I get it. I'm just looking at a handful of clothes/shoes that I would like to see go to a good home.
Sophie
Hi Sophia,
Since the shoes/boots don’t fit why not donate to your local LGBTQIA’s+ organization? You might get a tax credit. Or you could consider the local women’s shelter.
Alice
I like this idea, Sophia.
I don't think this would work at all logistically.
First of all, we have members from all over the world. Sizing information is different in different regions, so a US 14 and a UK 14 are not the same.
In order for this to happen, one of two things has to happen. One way is for one of you has to give your (possibly name and) address (or at minimal a postal box) to another unknown member. This is a HUGE breach of privacy. (In the last 2-3 months, I have gotten friendship requests from people who just joined and never posted. They were looking for people in a certain area, possibly to make contact outside of CDH and outside the control of the moderators. What criteria would YOU use to determine if this was legitimate or someone just trying to find out more about you?) And it doesn't even address shipping costs (oversea shipping can be very expensive) and possible import taxes.
Another way would be to send it to some central place where it has to be sorted, organized, stored, retrieved, and sent out. Remember the moderators here are also scattered across the globe. There is no central physical CDH building (let alone some kind of warehouse) to do this. Again oversea shipping costs are possible (sometimes both ways), no one who works full time at CDH to do this and maintain a list and database of what is received, update a website, keep track of what is in inventory, how long to keep something before having to give it away to make room for something else, etc. You would still have to give your name and address to someone here at CDH, but it would be a limited set of people. Import taxes might also have to be paid twice.
I can't see either of these alternatives working out.
If you have clothing you don't want, bring it to a charity or thrift shop. You may be able to get a tax write-off for your donation. You can also buy inexpensive clothing there. Or bring it to a CD/TG conference where they have such an exchange, and will donate whatever is not picked up by someone at the end of the conference.
I agree it would be nice and I prefer to give to another member here or another crossdresser than the goodwill or thrift store. I do like what Gabriela does donating to the Women's Dress for Success Foundation for Women getting into the workforce or back on their feet and not being able to afford anything for interviews or for work. Always feel better know things are going to someone who needs it.
Sophia,
First, I want to thank you for your thoughtful proposal to help your fellow sisters.
Unfortunately, there's no way an exchange would work. There's the obvious logistical issues. And it would be a violation of the Community Code of Conduct.
- You must first obtain consent from a Managing Ambassador before posting any type of advertising or solicitation here.
- You may not share or solicit any form of personal offsite contact information in the community areas of our site (i.e. public chat, forums, wall pages). This includes such info as Insta or Twitter handles, links to personal offsite pages, phone numbers and e-mail addresses. For your safety, we recommend not sharing this information at all. If you do choose to share this information with another member, please make sure it is someone you trust, and only do so via private message or private chat.
I'm all for giving your gently used clothing items a new home. CDH isn't the place to do it. Your best options are the local LGBTQ center, local women's shelter, or one of the annual events such as Keystone. I know Keystone was doing an exchange. There's a good chance some of the other ones do too.
/EA
Hi Ladies,
Thanks for all of the suggestions as to where to donate items. There are a lot of logistical issues that didn't initially come to mind when I wrote this post. The oversight alone would be a full time job. I'm certainly not trying to push any more responsibilities onto any of the moderators. Plus with CDH capturing an international crowd, that makes things even more difficult.
I will look around and find the most worthy organization locally, bag the items up and take them over there.
Sophie
