Coffee with the Ex-wife Part three

If anyone has followed this story things continue to evolve with the ex.  She called again and asked if I wanted to meet for dinner and I again accepted.  However, this time she asked that I not come dressed as a woman.  I gently told her that I live as Gina now and that I don't even own men's clothes anymore.  She sighed and relented.  I could tell something was going to happen that I might not like on this next meeting but I felt compelled to follow through and see where it leads.

I decided to wear a simple pair of capris with a sleeveless top and sandals.  I pulled my hair into a pony tail and wore foundation, mascara, and lip gloss.  She smiled when I arrived but made no effort to give me a hug or anything like she did on our two previous meetings.  (Danger, Will Robertson!).  We sat down and ordered.  I decided to eat light and only ordered a salad and iced tea.

She began by revisiting why she had reached out to me again and asserted that her deepest feelings for me had not gone away, but had been buried under the hurt and feelings of betrayal her discovery of Gina had created.  She again apologized for her bitterness and I again took responsibility for creating the entire situation.  At that her demeanor changed and some of the bitterness returned.  "You really ruined my life."  she said.  I didn't reply.  "Why did you have to be this way?  What did I do wrong that made you do this?"  I reminded her of all that I told her that led to Gina's existence from our previous conversations.  I had thought she had finally listened but maybe her frustration had impeded the transfer of information.

I again explained that my gender issues started long before she ever came along.  To this day I can't explain why it started, only that it did and I don't know why.  "This is my problem.  It never had anything to do with you personally.  You did nothing wrong!" I told her.

She went on to tell me how much it bothered her to see me looking like a woman, especially a pretty woman, and hearing me talk with a woman's voice.  She asked me to say something in my male voice and it took some effort to do so but I did it.  She said, "That's the guy I know.  I don't know you as a woman.  Can't you stop?"

I reminded her that I had fought to stop my desire to be a girl for years with no success.  I finally accepted who I was and figured I could keep it a secret but failed.  She became exasperated and looked away.

The silence lasted for a few minutes and I almost left.   She apologized again and said she was out of line.  She said she missed what we once had and still loved me.  She just can't get around the fact that I am now Gina, and that I am not willing or able to change back into the man she once married.  I again apologized for my part in our situation.  Her demeanor softened a bit and she said, "Some date I am, huh?"  This got a small laugh out of both of us.

I took this opportunity to ask, "Where do you think this is going?"  She said, "I wanted to see if there was something left for us.  I just can't have a romantic relationship with someone who looks like a woman, especially after what we have gone through.  I am trying to see if we can have some type of relationship we can both be happy with."

I assured her I was open to seeing if that was possible, but I was not open to being someone other that who I am now.  She simply nodded and we changed the subject to more lighter topics.  When we parted, she again gave me a hug and kiss on the cheek.  "I'm not used to kissing tall girls."  she said.  I left the door open for her to call me anytime.

Thanks for letting me share this drama.  I really appreciate the encouragement I have received from the girls on this site.