Notifications
Clear all

Coming out to my neighbour

55 Posts
20 Users
215 Thanks
646 Views
Posts: 554
Baroness Annual
Topic starter
(@finallyfiona)
Noble Member     Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Joined: 5 months ago

I've been saying since quite early on in my membership here that I was going to have to let my neighbours know to expect to see me as Fiona from time to time.  I've managed to come and go en femme a few times without, but I felt today was going to be the day.  As well as being my usual full-Fiona day, it's also the driest the grass has been all week to give it the first cut of the year, which takes me right outside their living room window.  So, seeing that Mrs was in as I arrived, before starting my transformation, I knocked on their door.

I had an idea of what things I wanted to say, but it was still a nervous moment as I smiled and told her the reason for my call.  I needn't have worried though, she couldn't have been any more non-judgmental if she tried.  She was completely encouraging that I should do what makes me feel happy, and assured me it will make no difference at all to her how I present 🙂  She's also happy to call me Fiona when I'm en femme.  I could have hugged her!  We had such a lovely chat.

So this lunchtime, I mowed my front lawn for the first time as Fiona, in a long dress with full hair and makeup, in full knowledge that there was someone who could see me and that it simply didn't matter 🙂

Obviously, Mrs will relay the news to her husband, with whom drab me gets on very well, but we both wonder if he might have a more 'traditional' opinion.  I hope that doesn't change our neighbourly friendship as a result, but in being true to myself I have to be ready to accept consequences.  I suggested that perhaps I shouldn't knock on their door as Fiona, and to leave any parcels I take in for them in my outside cupboard and text to let them know.  She said again, that wouldn't be any issue at all for her, but she'll let me know if he'd prefer it that way.

I've just got to talk to the neighbour on the other side now, but due to the layout of our houses, they will see very little of me, unless it's in my back garden from upstairs.  However I did learn today that the house opposite has just been bought by a lady with three teenage sons.  I say opposite, but actually it's in front of us at 90°, and while the entry/exit to the close are in full view from the front, it doesn't overlook our frontages.  That could still be an interesting one to navigate though!

 

Reply
54 Replies
19 Replies
Baroness
(@alexina)
Joined: 4 months ago

Noble Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 454

@finallyfiona And Fiona's courage continues to grow exponentially!

I could not be happier for you, hon. Do I see some groundwork-laying for "the talk" with your SO?

In any case, much respect!

Hugs
Allie x

Reply
Baroness Annual
(@finallyfiona)
Joined: 5 months ago

Noble Member     Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 554

@alexina Thank you my dear *hugs right back* 🙂

It certainly did occur to me that it wouldn't be a bad practice run for The Talk later in the Spring.  I  think I found some good phrases to really express my feelings, which I hope to remember.

Reply
Ambassador
(@lucyb112)
Joined: 2 years ago

Noble Member     Staffordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 725

@finallyfiona 

Wow Fiona! Things are really moving quite quickly for you aren’t they?
I’m so glad it went well for you. Your neighbour sounds great 

Hugs

Lucy 

Reply
Baroness Annual
(@finallyfiona)
Joined: 5 months ago

Noble Member     Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 554

@lucyb112 I had a feeling it was all going to happen this year when I first joined here.  I had no idea it was all going to happen so soon this year though!  I'm just really doing what feels right, when it feels right.

Hugs back,
Fiona xxx

Reply
Ambassador
(@lucyb112)
Joined: 2 years ago

Noble Member     Staffordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 725

@finallyfiona 

If it feels right, then it certainly is xxx

Reply
Ambassador
(@ellyd22)
Joined: 11 months ago

Illustrious Member     Norfolk, United Kingdom
Posts: 2920

@finallyfiona 

Having read the whole thread ... what a day for you!

After I take early retirement in July I'm going to tell the neighbour whose upstairs windows overlook a portion of my back garden about Ellie. She may well have seen me en femme several times by this stage anyway, but once I know she knows then I'll stop worrying about it altogether 🙂

Hugs

Ellie x

 

Reply
Baroness Annual
(@finallyfiona)
Joined: 5 months ago

Noble Member     Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 554

@ellyd22 It's been wonderful 😍 Thank you darling *hugs* 

I hope you have the same luck and she turns out to not care, in the nicest possible sense 🙂  It is a weight lifted, fingers crossed you get to feel it too 🤗 

Fiona xxx

Reply
Baroness Annual
(@finallyfiona)
Joined: 5 months ago

Noble Member     Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 554

@ellyd22 I should add, I just bet you're looking forward to July.  How wonderful to be able to live 24/7 as your true self!  You deserve to be worry-free 🙂

Reply
(@jacquelinelarkspur)
Joined: 6 months ago

Famed Member     Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Posts: 1131

@finallyfiona 

I will add my "wow!" to everyone else's! What a fabulous sequence of events, and so wonderful that your friendship with your neighbours is as strong as ever. You must be thrilled to bits with the way things have turned out!

Reply
Baroness Annual
(@finallyfiona)
Joined: 5 months ago

Noble Member     Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 554

@jacquelinelarkspur *Hugs* I'm a very happy girl tonight!  Thank you my dear 🙂

Reply
Duchess
(@chellycd)
Joined: 4 months ago

Estimable Member     Florida, United States of America
Posts: 61

@finallyfiona I was caught outside by a neighbor a few years ago. I had gotten dressed in my workout clothes, Leggings, Sports bra, etc. I couldn't find my smart watch and went outside to get it out of my car. I hadn't seen anyone before I went out. As I'm reaching into my car, I hear my neighbor say my name. As I stood up and closed my car door, she was standing there with a smile on her face. I even noticed as she looked down at my chest. She was cool and asked if I was getting ready to work. I told her I was and wished her a good day. As I'm walking away, she says, "Love the outfit, enjoy your workout." I was mortified. I know she told a few other neighbors. It is what it is. My wife told me that if I didn't want people to know, I shouldn't have gone outside. I wear my leggings all the time now. I've even done yard work in my leggings and tops.

Reply
Baroness Annual
(@finallyfiona)
Joined: 5 months ago

Noble Member     Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 554

@chellycd That 'oh no' moment 🙂 ... well done for facing it out, and I'm guessing that none of the other neighbours will have treated you any different since? 

As I was having the conversation where I came out to my neighbours on the other side from the ones that this thread was mainly about, their grandparents arrived at their door ... but I thought, what the hell, they're really not going to care.  I do chat to the girl's mother when I see her occasionally, that might be a surprise for her when Fiona says hello, if her daughter hasn't told her!

Reply
Duchess
(@chellycd)
Joined: 4 months ago

Estimable Member     Florida, United States of America
Posts: 61

@finallyfiona Some of the men don't really speak to me, but I didn't speak with them before, so no issues there. This was almost 3 years ago, so I'm sure most of them have seen me in similar clothing. So, the good thing is there was never an uncomfortable moment. Maybe some funny looks in the beginning but it's everyday life now. 

Blow Kiss  

Reply
Lady
(@jillannquinn)
Joined: 3 years ago

Prominent Member     Reno, Nevada, United States of America
Posts: 540

@finallyfiona Your neighbor is a doll. And good for you for taking the chance and telling her. I hope her husband is of the same mind as his wonderful wife.

Hugs, Jill

Reply
Baroness Annual
(@finallyfiona)
Joined: 5 months ago

Noble Member     Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 554

@jillannquinn He certainly is!  A very good friend to both sides of me 🙂

Reply
Lady
(@jillannquinn)
Joined: 3 years ago

Prominent Member     Reno, Nevada, United States of America
Posts: 540

@finallyfiona oh! So you did tell him?

Reply
Baroness Annual
(@finallyfiona)
Joined: 5 months ago

Noble Member     Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 554

@jillannquinn Yes, I posted about it at the time, further down this thread - https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/community/postid/505454/

Also managed to talk to the neighbours on the other side - https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/community/postid/506750/

Reply
Duchess
(@kristacrawford1967)
Joined: 1 month ago

Estimable Member     Sacramento, California, United States of America
Posts: 44

@finallyfiona I love this story of your bravery, yet with a sense of normalcy. “Hi! I’m your neighbor Fiona!”

 

in my experience in a very crazy conservative area, teenagers are far less judgmental than adults about gender expression. I applaud your efforts and hope the other neighbors also embrace you as Fiona. 

I'm not out and I had a conversation with the only CD I know. He said he was done with worrying about being out. People can see and talk to him and figure things out for themselves. Interesting perspective…not sure if I agree or not. 

Reply
Baroness Annual
(@finallyfiona)
Joined: 5 months ago

Noble Member     Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 554

@kristacrawford1967 Thank you Krista 🙂  Everyone says I've been brave about coming out, but to me, I'm just being honest.  I actually knocked on the neighbours' doors in drab and once we got the conversation started, told them that the what I wanted to say was just to let them know that they could expect to see me about the place as a woman.  When the new people move in opposite, I'll probably go have the same conversation with them too.  That's encouraging about the teenagers though, thanks for that.  You're right of course, these days many of them have experience of someone in their friendship group who's not in the standard binary.  It might come as a surprise to them to realise that their generation didn't invent it though 😉

Reply
Posts: 1551
Baroness Annual
(@secretpassions)
Noble Member     Wisconsin, United States of America
Joined: 3 years ago

Congratulations on having at least one fantastic neighbor! (neighbour sorry) I hope that the husband comes on board. I have several friends that I know would disown me if I came out. It’s a shame, but society is funny that way.

Lara

Reply
3 Replies
Baroness Annual
(@finallyfiona)
Joined: 5 months ago

Noble Member     Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 554

@secretpassions Thank you 🙂  One of my friends already knows, he was the first person I ever told, even before Fiona as I am now had properly taken shape.  After my SO, I have another friend I want to tell, because if he's OK with it, I'd like to go as Fiona to a concert that we've got tickets together for.

Reply
Baroness Annual
(@secretpassions)
Joined: 3 years ago

Noble Member     Wisconsin, United States of America
Posts: 1551

@finallyfiona I really hope that you get to go to that concert as Fiona. Best of luck!

Reply
Baroness Annual
(@finallyfiona)
Joined: 5 months ago

Noble Member     Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 554

@secretpassions 

Posted by: @secretpassions

I hope that the husband comes on board.

There's an update below about that! 🙂

Reply
Posts: 2567
Hostess
(@ab123)
Famed Member     Surrey, United Kingdom
Joined: 4 years ago

Well done you Fiona. It is always among one of the more difficult things to overcome but at least you have one ally and if your other neighbour is as nice then it can only get better. As for the new ones, well time will tell but if they see that it is quite a normal thing then there won't be any issues. 

Reply
1 Reply
Baroness Annual
(@finallyfiona)
Joined: 5 months ago

Noble Member     Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 554

@ab123 Thank you Angela 🙂  Knowing the area of town that the new neighbours are downsizing from, I'm also quietly hopeful that they'll turn out to be well-adjusted young lads.

Reply
Posts: 1316
Hostess
(@cdsue)
Noble Member     Delaware, United States of America
Joined: 4 years ago

Fiona -

Congrats on such a big step. Hoping you continue to receive acceptance from others you tell.

XOXO
Suzanne

Reply
1 Reply
Baroness Annual
(@finallyfiona)
Joined: 5 months ago

Noble Member     Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 554

@cdsue Thank you sweetheart!  On that very subject, I've just had a knock at the door and a conversation which I'm going to post an update on below 🙂

 

Reply
Posts: 554
Baroness Annual
Topic starter
(@finallyfiona)
Noble Member     Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Joined: 5 months ago

Thank you ladies for all the supportive replies, it's just wonderful how much love and encouragement there is here on CDH!  I'm sure I wouldn't be where I am now without you all 🤗 

So, an update. I had a knock at the door at 6pm, I knew it was going to be my neighbour, but the fact that he'd come to talk to me already spoke volumes:  he knew I'd be in Fiona mode, so I had no hesitation in opening the door with a big smile - and he was smiling right back 🙂  I invited him in and we sat down for a chat.  He's of exactly the same opinion as his wife - while he said himself he did at one point have very traditional opinions, over the years he's totally relaxed his attitude.  To hear him say that he knows that I'm the person he's good friends with, whatever manner I present in, was so affirming 😊 

I can't believe how well today has turned out, I've not even set foot outside my front garden but in some respects I've come a long way.  I'm never going to knock feeling blessed and euphoric, but I'm almost tired right out by the emotional intensity that's been going on today!

Reply
3 Replies
Baroness Annual
(@secretpassions)
Joined: 3 years ago

Noble Member     Wisconsin, United States of America
Posts: 1551
Hostess
(@cdsue)
Joined: 4 years ago

Noble Member     Delaware, United States of America
Posts: 1316

@finallyfiona again how wonderful for you - 

XOXO
Suzanne

Reply
Lady
(@jillannquinn)
Joined: 3 years ago

Prominent Member     Reno, Nevada, United States of America
Posts: 540

@finallyfiona THAT is AMAZING!!! I keep saying this, but it’s true, I’m very happy for you, Fiona. That’s a true friend and you’re so very lucky to have him and his wife as friends.

Hugs, Jill

Reply
Posts: 83
Lady
(@amyoxley)
Trusted Member     West Midlands, United Kingdom
Joined: 3 years ago

Wow, that's awesome. Well done.

Reply
1 Reply
Baroness Annual
(@finallyfiona)
Joined: 5 months ago

Noble Member     Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 554

@amyoxley Thank you darling 🙂  I might not be typing so much for the rest of the evening, I felt like a celebration was called for so I'm now in a set of false nails to match my dress!

Reply
Posts: 249
Baroness Annual
(@fembecky)
Honorable Member     Gloucestershire, United Kingdom
Joined: 4 years ago

Wow Fiona, that's great, well done. Very pleased for you. As you say, once you get going things can start to move at a real pace 😀 .

From my own experience I know talking to the neighbours takes away a whole area of tension; no longer having to be concerned in case you are seen leaving or entering the house. I had chats with our immediate neighbours a few weeks ago and the general response was "no issue".

And kudos for getting out to cut the grass en-femme. I haven't been outside doing jobs such as grass cutting or car cleaning while dressed en femme, partly because I am concerned about messing up my femme clothes which are not really suitable for such things! It's back to my old jeans and jumpers for those jobs.

... and while I was typing that I see you have gone for nails - no stopping you now girl 😍 😍 😍 .

Reply
2 Replies
Baroness Annual
(@finallyfiona)
Joined: 5 months ago

Noble Member     Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 554

@fembecky Thank you, like you say it's so good to have extended the 'freedom zone' where I just don't have to worry any more 🙂  I did have to resort to my drab trainers for the back garden which was too damp underfoot for Fiona's pointy flats.  It's also more difficult in a wig where the style's not long enough to tie any of it back, you can look down or sideways but not both at once!  I might have to look for an Alice band or something.

Reply
Baroness Annual
(@fembecky)
Joined: 4 years ago

Honorable Member     Gloucestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 249

@finallyfiona Ha yes - hair! My natural hair is quite long so I find the wind blows it across my eyes when trying to do jobs outside. It is also a pain when working in the kitchen. An Alice band plus an elastic hair tie are now necessary to enable me to shave each morning! I haven't generally used the band doing jobs outside though, but perhaps it is about time I did.

Reply
Posts: 47
(@wend77)
Trusted Member     isle of wight, Isle of Wight, United Kingdom
Joined: 3 years ago

That sounds fantastic for you Fiona, only wish it could be the same for me, I know some people would be not too bothered but I think some would turn against me, and that would also affect my wife

WENDY

Reply
2 Replies
Baroness Annual
(@fembecky)
Joined: 4 years ago

Honorable Member     Gloucestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 249

@wend77 Good point Wendy. I am also mindful of potential impacts on my wife, but so far no issues have arisen that might give cause for concern. Thanks for that.

Reply
Baroness Annual
(@finallyfiona)
Joined: 5 months ago

Noble Member     Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 554

@wend77 I'm sorry to hear that honey, but well said on the affect on the significant others in our lives 🙂 

One big advantage of having my own place to dress well away from 'home' is that what goes here, stays here.  So I can take femininity as far as I like within reason, but it also works for my OH's emotional safety.  She has no connections here at all, so news of Fiona will only ever get back to her through me, when I'm ready and can best support her in the aftermath.  Were it not for this place, I couldn't have done that.

I have to add, were it not for this place, I think I might not ever have met Fiona, because there wouldn't have been the room for her to be able to grow.

Reply
Posts: 298
(@rebeccabaxter)
Prominent Member     Cornwall, United Kingdom
Joined: 5 months ago

I'm the same as Wendy, the neighbours on one side are very traditional and would probably shun me as Rebecca, not by deliberately ignoring me but just by being extremely uncomfortable if I was around. On the other side of the house, we hate each other with a vengeance and I wouldn't give them the satisfaction of having something over me at my behest, so I would never deliberately tell them.

Having said that, to get out of the house en femme, I have to walk up an alleyway to get to my car at the front and I am getting more and more bold about doing so, so at some point, someone I know is going to see me. My plan is to just let it happen, let people talk about me behind my back and see who will still talk to me normally face to face after they know, rather than bring it up on purpose. it's not much of a plan, but it is a plan. 

To be honest, we don't really have any friends in the village, so as long as I don't get actual grief, I really don't mind if people blank me. I'm pretty sure I'm not going to be the only cross-dresser in the village, there are at least 3000 other people living here (it's quite a big village).

 

So well done Fiona and I'm very pleased your journey has been made so much easier.

Reply
2 Replies
Baroness Annual
(@finallyfiona)
Joined: 5 months ago

Noble Member     Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 554

@rebeccabaxter I'm sorry to hear it's a tougher environment for you, but you write as one determined, confident girl.  I think the confidence is so much of accessing our femininity, and it's a positive feedback so the once enhances the other.  You're going to rock it hon 🤗 

Hugs,
Fiona xxx

Reply
Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 1 year ago

Famed Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2242

Posted by: @rebeccabaxter

I'm pretty sure I'm not going to be the only cross-dresser in the village, there are at least 3000 other people living here (it's quite a big village).

With a nominal 1% of the population being crossdressers, that makes for about 30 other dressers there.

 

Reply
Posts: 554
Baroness Annual
Topic starter
(@finallyfiona)
Noble Member     Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Joined: 5 months ago

Just time to post a quick update to this thread before bed.  I had the intended conversation with my neighbour on the other side today - the wife of a couple in their 30s.  She was totally understanding and they will both also be completely cool with Fiona being around.  She even asked straight out if I had a femme name for them to use, bless her. 

While them knowing doesn't affect my coming and going out front so much as the first conversation I had, it will make a big difference when I'm in the back garden.  Last year I felt I had to scuttle back inside every time their patio door opened, but not any more 🙂

Reply
1 Reply
Lady
(@jillannquinn)
Joined: 3 years ago

Prominent Member     Reno, Nevada, United States of America
Posts: 540

@finallyfiona congratulations again. For having that kind of courage you deserve nothing but happiness.

Jill

Reply
Posts: 2567
Hostess
(@ab123)
Famed Member     Surrey, United Kingdom
Joined: 4 years ago

Thank you for that lovely update. Life will be so much easier for you now.

Reply
Posts: 141
Lady
(@sophie85)
Estimable Member     New Jersey, United States of America
Joined: 10 months ago

I can't say I've ever considered telling the neighbors.  I'm not sure what they would really think but for the most part they probably wouldn't care (they all have a live and let live attitutde).  I'm more concerned about what they might tell my wife (not supportive).  Our houses are spaced out enough that I don't think I could be easily seen in the back yard or going to/from the car.

Admittedly, I came home dressed as Sophie one time but intentionally timed my arrival to occur at dusk and parked the car extra carefully such that it would block the neighbors view of me as I scurried into the house.

 

Reply
Posts: 191
Lady
(@sf)
Reputable Member     SoCal, California, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

If I were your next door neighbor, I would be more upset if you failed to cut the yard on a regular basis.  Wear what you want and have fun....  Staci   

Reply
Posts: 124
(@oliviac)
Reputable Member     Sydney, New South Wales, Australia
Joined: 9 months ago

Hi Fiona Not sure how but I have missed seeing this post up until now. Your bravery is incredible and once again I take my hat off to you. Your neighbour's reaction was so lovely and if her husband acts anything different to what he did before it's his problem not yours. I agree with the other girls that the younger generation are far more accepting of people like us than anyone over 30. I love it that you are grabbing the life you want to lead by the scruff of the neck and just doing it.

 

Reply
6 Replies
Ambassador
(@ellyd22)
Joined: 11 months ago

Illustrious Member     Norfolk, United Kingdom
Posts: 2920

@oliviac @finallyfiona

I love it that you are grabbing the life you want to lead by the scruff of the neck and just doing it.

Well said Olivia!

Ellie x

Reply
Baroness Annual
(@finallyfiona)
Joined: 5 months ago

Noble Member     Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 554
Ambassador
(@ellyd22)
Joined: 11 months ago

Illustrious Member     Norfolk, United Kingdom
Posts: 2920
Baroness Annual
(@finallyfiona)
Joined: 5 months ago

Noble Member     Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 554

@oliviac Thank you hon 🙂 But to me, all I'm doing is simply being honest!  You're absolutely right, this is what I want to do though.  It just feels like the right thing.

There were a couple of updates to this thread amongst all the chat that you may have missed.  For one, I'm very pleased to say that the husband was every bit as understanding as his wife, see https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/community/postid/505454/ .  I also managed to talk to my neighbours on the other side,  which also went well, see https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/community/postid/506750/ .

Reply
Lady
(@annaredhead)
Joined: 2 months ago

Reputable Member     Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 174

@finallyfiona I don't feel ready or able to do this yet and have had a couple of near misses with the neighbours. I admire you for taking this step.

Reply
Baroness Annual
(@finallyfiona)
Joined: 5 months ago

Noble Member     Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 554

@annaredhead Thank you Anna 🙂  I hope in time you can get the encouragement you need to do it too, because so much enjoyment awaits you once you can get out and about freely. 

Hugs,
Fiona xxx

Reply
Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Join our mailing list to receive the latest news and updates from Crossdresser Heaven.

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Log in with your credentials

Forgot your details?