Welcome to Crossdresser Heaven, a safe and welcoming place for everyone in the crossdresser community.
Join Crossdresser Heaven today to participate in the forums.
(Tries to insert a pic…)
Hi Ladies!
What hobbies and interests do you share with your male self?
“We”, my female and male selves, Jules and John (we’ll call him that for convenience here, as I hate mashing pronouns. And besides, it’s only a half lie) basically share only one common interest or hobby. How about you?
We look at our life(s) as basically two (for purposes of this chat) Ven diagrams. One is our essence of male and female, our feeling of gender. For us now the total male and female circles are almost the same, with the common area being quite large. By this I mean for any part of a day Jules is not dressed, we “feel” equal amounts of male and female with respect to gender. Of course when Jules spreads her wings she is totally in the female circle. Conversely, the same for “John” when he is doing his thing.
Then there are times when we are in the middle common area, a place in time where both Jules and John female and male essence are present. At those times we talk, debate, and have gratitude for our separate yet common parts.
The other Ven Diagram would be of time, time actually physically spent in either our “essences”. Sadly, like many of you, the circle representing time dressed, time completely in the female essence is much smaller than “John‘a” circle. This of course is driven by life, family, friends and acquaintances who don’t know of Jules, etc. But that’s ok, as life is a compromise, right?
And that common area of the “time” diagram. Actually it is quite large as I underdress, etc. Many times as pilot John straps himself into his ultralight for a flight, he is wearing a pair of beautiful lace pink panties under his flight suit… LOL He used to worry, “What if I crash, what if the medics “find out”? Will they laugh and let me die? Seriously, that crap used to permeate my thoughts. But no longer, as ladies, life is simply too short for that! Besides, it would give them a funny story back at the station house.
John loves sailing, flying, chess, sports (although even he is moving away from the violent ones), writing, bike riding, biking, kayaking, windsurfing, blah, and blah blah…
Jules? The only one of those she loves or even likes is sailing. And oh, she’s one of those damn “luffers” (those sailors who either don’t know how to sail a boat properly, or are just to lazy to do it.) When “John” sails (we now share a little Balbo 20’ with an older woman, the original owner) he sails fast and efficiently. Jules on the other hand? Well sails are luffing and poorly trimmed, as long as the sun is on her face she is happy and content. The other hobbies and interests shared - zero, nada, none…☺️
Jules interest? Anything girly; makeup, clothes, romance novels, etc.
Now we have grandkids, lots, who “we” decided don’t need to meet or know about Jules at this time. Their parents, our adult kids know and most have met Jules. A few think it would be good for them, Widen their world to meet Jules the say, the others not so much. Anyway, that allows “John” lots and lots of play time with the grandkids. They sail, swim, hike, play games, watch games, etc. Jules watches from within, vicariously enjoying each moment. Someday in the future she’d enjoy meeting them.
So what about you? Are there things your male and female selves share in common, i. e., things you do interchangeably as male and female, where the other folks know you as both?
I’d love to hear from you!
Hugs
Jules
🥰🌈👩
What a thoughtful post Jules. A delight to read and a nice invitation to introspection.
I don’t know if I could easily identify his vs hers as you suggest. I have noticed however, a marked decrease of interest in some of the “ manly man” things. Just not interested so much anymore in high intensity hockey, hunting, that sort of thing. Could just be me getting older or maybe it’s Clara telling me, “whoa big fella. Go gentle”.
Clara’s two cents.
I used to put away my crafting in boy mode but at this point i just dont care. In either mode crocheting is something that i do and enjoy immensely. I could see myself doing other things but the time that i have to dress is usually better spent just enjoying the feelings.
Hi Julie,
Common interest that cross for me are , shopping, gardening, walking or out sight seeing in the car for a day, all of which I do in en-femme or drab me.
Every day after work or weekends I can alternate between dressed en-femme or drab and carry out normal house hold activities either way.
Lol Amanda xx
Hi Jules,
Simple answer is pretty much everything. My gender m/f circles are the same size and luckily re: my time circles, the female one is bigger. I'm retired and my spouse knows I'm a CD so I get to spend most of the day and all of the night totally en femme (or at worst mostly en femme). The only time I have to be more in drab wear is when the kids are visiting (which isn't very often) or when I have to go to a volunteer board meeting and even then I'm certainly wearing some female articles of clothing. Heck, even at the Gun Club, most of the members there think I'm female. And at the Curling Club, I told a fellow my male name, and he still thought I was female. I don't really separate my male and female selves any more (like I used to over five years ago) -they've grown into being one person. I know that I'm lucky to have this freedom and I very much appreciate it. Have a lovely rest of the week, Hug, Krista.
My most important hobbies are seperate. My male "plays with trains." He builds scale model trains and loves chasing the real thing. He belongs to several Facebook groups for that also. My girly hobby is collecting, playing with and making up stories with Barbie dolls. I now have over 90 dolls.
❤
Beth
Hi Julie as both of us like to sew and help the wife with some of her chores around the house as she says there are two of us so we get two thirds the chores ha ha .. only a few othe things like tinkering around with old vehicles i have a 1932 ford bb truck working on and underdressing helps with the thought process he he a females touch yea..
Stephanie Bass
Actually, Stephanie, both sides of “us” do those things as well, and my wife has the same comment.
Thanks for the reply!
Hugs,
Jules
🥰🌈👩
Barbies? Seriously, Beth? How FUN!!! Can I come over and play some day..?😇
Hugs!
Thanks, Krista! Sound like you have the best of both worlds!
Hugs
Jules
Awww, thanks, Clara! Yes, I think age does have a large part in what we do and like. So possibly Jules lack of interest is that all those John’s things are old and boring now…?
Hugs
Jules
My short answer is that there is difference.
A friend would always call me Alison, whether I was dressed or not. I once asked her why. She answered me with a question. Is your wife/mother/gf still your wife/mother/gf if she isn't wearing makeup, or is wearing jeans and a tee shirt instead of a dress?
Sure, there are places I wouldn't go dressed, but it doesn't change my core. It doesn't change who I am fundamentally. If I'm home dressed, I may still do work from home, watch a sporting event, or do prayers over zoom (usually with an androgynous top, no forms, and a skirt below camera). If I'm in drab I may still browse the women's section for something I may like. I'm not two separate people, I'm one person who likes to wear women's clothes or appear feminine.
Lots of fun but it can get expensive though not as expensive as his trains.
I have a story about Ken and Barbie that has been published here at CDH. You can read it in the articles section.
❤
Beth
Hi Jules, Thanks for the friend approval! Loved your question, as I only recently really have come to the understanding of being simply one person with no separation in gender concerns . Not just in my head, but in life. So the question was timely. My answer would be for the moment- that it is not a shared interest by two sides, but one interest with no concern for gender aspects.This is a new thing, so I am still learning the ride. All my best, Mackenzie
Hi Julie!
Similar to you, Barb and Wolverine (I wish!) like having some quiet time just thinking about life and how to become one person. Our personalities are blending between the masculine, stern me and my softer and gentler Barb, so the only difference all day is our clothes. Weird, huh?
We like to hike and bike along beautiful forested trails and the colours now are spectacular!
We also like to read all kinds of books and watch lots of Netflix/Prime. I'll sometimes try and get into character with one of the female stars halfway through a show and get all dolled up while thinking about what I've watched so far.
I find as I get older our two Venn circles are overlapping more and are are getting near the same size, meaning I can spend equal amounts of time as "Wolverine" and Barb, but I hope the two will become one.
Great topic, Julie!
📽🎬 Barb :B
