Welcome to Crossdresser Heaven, a safe and welcoming place for everyone in the crossdresser community.
Join Crossdresser Heaven today to participate in the forums.
I've read a few threads lately with regard to how we see ourselves and others. I think our perspectives change.
Growing up and through midlife B.C.D.(Before cross dressing) I always considered myself to be quite average physically and with not a particularly handsome face. I had a poor self image, which made me shy and a bit timid, especially towards the ladies.
I did then and will admit that I still occassionally revert to the 'doable?' scale when looking at others.
One of the things I now find is that with the curse of maturity lol and the blessing of finding my femme self, it has made me less critical about the physical attributes of them and me. Slowly moving away from the stereotypes and images planted in our minds over time about the perfect form. As Samantha had mentioned in an earlier post, there are quite a few cis women out there who would easily be considered desireable that have body shapes not far from our own. I now feel better about myself even in my male form which makes me more outgoing socially, this led to comments and conversations about the fact that women already found me attractive, just too reserved for my own good. Sure...now they tell me.
Have a good look around at yourself and others, compare if you like, and stop being so hard on your self image.
I may not think of myself as being honestly passable in other people eyes and thats ok, but for the most part I like who I've become inside and out.
I can walk by a mirror, look, and say "I'd Do Me"
Right on Olivia, you've got to love yourself.
Lol Olivia. Funny you should mention doable. When I began dressing as Gigi, I remember saying to my wife that when she helps me dress I want to be able to look in mirror and think," this girl is definitely Doable". And I definitely looked that way. Hugs and Kisses.... Gigi.
Olivia
Before my cravings for crossdressing I never really cared how I looked other than decently dressed for a respectful appearance of course. Since dressing I've noticed I've wanting to better everything about how I feel and look but never to be satisfied. Better has been my clothing selections, to my mannerism and much more and quite happy how I've progress but unfortunately I do show my age on my face as I had never protected it. I always been an outdoors person and the years have shown it. My wife gave me heads up many years ago to use moisturizers for protection but stupidity didn't listen. We all would like to look our best but always criticize how we appear. It does bother me but slowly with improvements on everything else its getting better to accept and yes it is doable. We must feel good about yourself and that includes inside and our outer appearances. I know I'll never will look passable at least my facial features and now I've accept that but we have to learn to overcome these troublesome feelings and move forward without shame. Show your confidence, feel good about yourself and don't let your conscience overrun your fears. Walk with our head high and feel proud. After all we are special and now I realizing it. As Heather has mentioned "You got to love yourself "
Stephanie 🌹
Clearly part of the problem is how society (in the broadest sense) considers attractiveness and desirability. We’re working with a warped model to begin with, so it shouldn’t be a surprise when we realize how really screwed up things are. There was a recent discussion about body image and it is a major part of this attractiveness model. Sadly, males and females buy into this and it’s a bit like a dog chasing its tail; VERY hard to get there from here! Yet, we still keep trying...
Hi Olivia , couldn't agree more , especially
" I'd do me" , my exact words at the end of my first full professional makeover several years ago.
Our perceptions & expectations of ourselves certainly have more reality about them as we gain "experience" in life 😋. I do like the vanity within myself that drives me to stay in shape , but more & more my feminine feelings/ desires are from my core & not physical external 💐💐 Tiff
Growing up I had serious image issues. I had convinced myself I was ugly and that I had to try and do other things to make myself feel better about myself most of which became exercise. Didn't really work but I kept it up anyway.
Hi Olivia,
Thanks for the advice I too suffer from those self confidence issues you shared.
Unfortunately confidence seems to be the biggest factor In going out en femme.
Thank you for sharing
Patty
Hi Liv !
The doable scale..... reminds me of many years ago before I quit drinking...... The doable scale was always more selective at the beginning of a night out but less so as the evening went on and practically an open door policy by closing time..... Memories of a misspent youth.
Hugs
Autumn
Awesome, Olivia! Gaining more confidence seems to be the key. I never thought of myself as attractive in male mode but since finally coming out to myself and dressing I have looked at even my drab self and see a good looking person. Gwenn has mentioned to me that she has had people tell her that they think I am handsome, and of course Gwenn tells me I am beautiful to boot. So a big boost to my self confidence.
Hugs,
Michelle
Awesome, Olivia! Gaining more confidence seems to be the key. I never thought of myself as attractive in male mode but since finally coming out to myself and dressing I have looked at even my drab self and see a good looking person. Gwenn has mentioned to me that she has had people tell her that they think I am handsome, and of course Gwenn tells me I am beautiful to boot. So a big boost to my self confidence.
Hugs,
Michelle
I too struggled with self image for many years. More recently have come to peace with myself, in male mode, as well en femme. I think because I never thought of myself as an attractive man, in part because I never fit into what seemed to be a typical macho male.
I'm glad that you too have found peace with your total self. One of the things I too notice is how our shape compares to those of many cis women, and so many have less than the typical ideal shape, but they're are still women.
Amy
