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I have interviewed nearly 200 applicants to a crossdresser support group. The demographical data gathered has been illuminating and would surprise most. A TG lady wrote me today, sharing information I have not previously thought to ask. Her research results added to my own surprise, so I may expand my original 11 questions to see if I can independently verify her findings as being typical.
If any have interest in responding to a brief questionnaire, I'd like to add to my database. Any information shared (including fem names or other potentially identifying data, even though already anonymous through use of pseudonyms and by design) will be held in confidence.
Results would be aggregated and shared with those who have interest (again without any identifying information other than the fact all respondents consider themselves "crossdressers", perhaps subdivided according to what is meant by that term). Please PM me if you'd be willing to participate in this survey.
@rhondalee I hope the results of your survey will be shared with us! There is such little information like this available and I’d love to read what you discover. For several years the only resources I could find for myself were from the LGBTQ community and I didn’t relate to much of what I found. Having discovered CDH I feel I’ve found my tribe, mature CD girls who are mostly straight, except in our fantasies!
@rhondalee I think i would be willing to answer your survey as a deeply closeted CD.
@rhondalee Certainly, I would be happy to participate. I identified as a crossdresser for about 2 years before I realized that I was really a trans woman. That realization was a bit of a surprise actually.
If you see yourself as a trans woman you are no longer a crossdresser, even though you crossdress. However, I intend to gather data in a way that enables me to analyze it in different ways. The transgender umbrella includes both crossdressers and transsexuals. All input is welcome. I just want to be able to differentiate between those who believe they ARE women and those who do not. Even though all have a strong need for feminine expression, you self-identify as a woman, not just by using a female name and expression, but by coming to a new realization as to the essence of your inner being.. no longer two selves, but one.... a biological male who believes you are in fact a woman. Please correct me if I am wrong.
@rhondalee More specifically, I was responding to this part:
“A TG lady wrote me today, sharing information I have not previously thought to ask. Her research results added to my own surprise, so I may expand my original 11 questions to see if I can independently verify her findings as being typical.”
For me personally, I view myself as an amalgam of masculine and feminine likes/dislikes, perspectives and interests. It was basically an additive situation.
@rhondalee I am definitely in - so curious to see how my sentiments align (or not) with others.
Evie
They do!
I'd like to get a bit more info on you.
Do you have children and, if so, do your children know?
What is your occupation?
Do you feel that you are more analytical than most?
if/when it becomes expeditious to communicate by email rather than PM would you be willing to do so? Please provide your email address if such is the case. I will keep everything strictly confidential.
@rhondalee I would be willing to participate, too.
However, I haven't read what the focus of your original 11 questions are meant to answer. In general, who we are? Where we live? How we dress?
It won't be able to figure out percentage of the population, so I am curious what your purpose for the survey is.
Thanks for your very relevant questions!!!! It deserves a thorough response, which I will attempT:
My first effort will be to obtain some data to determine where individuals are, on the spectrum, and to ask some generic questions, such as whether you have been in public, age, occupation, marital status, whether there are children and, if so, do they know, etc. I can compare that and add it to my existing database consisting of crossdressers who have reached out to a support group. I can then come back to the 11 questions I mentioned, plus a few more prompted by information I just received from a researcher who has polled members of the same support group. These questions are multiple choice, or just "yes" or "no" and ask for perceptions of whaT is anticipated all respondents would likely have conveyed in response to initial questions.
My initial efforT was to educaTe faculty and students and oTher groups involved in gender Topics about crossdressers and how they are similar to or differ from others in The transgender community. Perhaps more importantly, It is good to demonstraTe that we are NORMAL... good family men, loving, caring individuals, not the sexual perverTs many presume. If anyTHing, my impression is that our communiTy is MORE normal than the average man... probably less inclined toward crime, more caring toward family and oThers, etc. etc. This group is an example of how we care about and supporT others. We should not hide in closets in shame, afraid to let others know who we are. We should proudly show the world we CARE about our families and oThers. If we didn't, whaT would be The poinT in trying to protect them from Things we feel they might have trouble accepTing? Are there any among us who wish harm for our loved ones or who would not sacrifice our lives and our personal desires to put them first? We did not CHOOSE who we are. Many of us have fought desperately to be who we are not in order to fit the image others expect of us, BECAUSE we care about others.
I thought the Questions were straightforward and, given The audience, usually sTudents who had been in a class studying The topic, anTicipated That no one would be surprised at the answers given by others and distribution of respondents. However, I was surprised to discover thaT perceptions differed markedly from reality. That alarmed me because, clearly, crossdressers are a misunderstood communiTy, even in these times where the world is more Tuned in Than ever before To the TG population. Being misunderstood leads to problems... poor counseling, legislation, and much more, That can disrupt lives and relationships. I am concerned about getTing good information to The public that can inform others on who we really are in hopes we can be better accepted and treated. Importantly, marriages should not be at risk... crossdressers Typically don't plan to transition and don't believe they are women; we love our wives, have longer-Than average marriages, and are noT TO be considered sexually devianT or abnormal. The survey won'T change all of This, buT I hope THat derivatives will. Already I have managed To geT WPATH to modify their definition of "transgender" to more clearly include crossdressers, and global education iniTiatives now recognize that transgender peoople are inclined toward osteoporosis and should have Their bone density checked as women do. The initial survey won't get this deep, buT I hope offshoots will. This is just a piloT study wiTh a primary objecTive of helping us realize we Tend To draw false conclusions of the communiTY based upon our individual experiences and perspecTives.
What the world believes is That gender expression and gender identiTy are synonymous. Ergo, Crossdressers believe They are women and will transition. A typical crossdresser enjoys doing drag and is probably gay. We are stereoTyped in ways That are damaging.
I hope to promoTe stronger awareness of who we are and who we are noT, in hopes more will speak ouT for crossdressers who are NOT just men in dresses or wannabe women, yeT deserve the rights being accorded the small minority who DO identify as women and transition.
To Take one small example, which geTs blown ouT of proporTion, some states mandaTE That one should use the restroom with which one identifies. Where does that leave a crossdresser who self-identifies as male but wears a dress? Should he be required to use the men's room? I don't mean to pick on that issue, but it is just an example of how stereotyping can lead to unsound conclusions. Crossdressers Typically hide in The closeT, not wanting To even parTicipate in a study, so studies that get reporTed are like the Williams study, whose subjects are transitioning men... not crossdressers. Yet sucking crossdressers into The mix of conclusions and policy decisions evolving from such studies is ill-advised.
An area of greaTer concern is The focus on adolescenTs these days and tendency TO have Them delay puberTy so they can have THe opporTuniTy To traNsition. Many may simply be cRossdressers who are betTer served NOT to change sex. BuT THere is no money in doing nothing and it is trendy To "try ouT" another sex. We need better research before enabling and encouraging actions which are ill-advised and can wreck lives. Most who crossdress are NOT best served by changing sex.
This is a long answer To help you understand where I am going. I seek credible information abouT a relaTively large parT of the population which lives under the radar, but which is ever more being subjecT To assumpTions and conclusions That impacT Their lives and That of Their families... conclusions which don't really apply TO Them but which are thought applicable because so many don'T realize That MtoF crossdressers are NOT women even THough They prefer TO dress that way and use female pronouns and names. I have Talked TO well-recognized psychologists who serve on The WPATH board. If trying to explain that I do not believe I am a woman They question my sanity, as did my wife and counselors who could not understand why I use a feminine name when dressed as a woman, unless I believe I AM a woman. I ask them if I should announce my name as "Fred". They don't get my point.
In shorT, crossdressers are misunderstood. We have always exisTed, but nowadays we are being discovered because the spotlight is on men who Transition, so any man caught wearing a dress is presumed one of THOSE people.
Unless more crossdressers step outside of their closets and speak up for who we truly are I see more damage likely To evolve. We caNnoT speak for who we TRuly are wiThouT credible data to supporT our case. For starters I anticipate demonstrating That even WE don't know who we truly are. We draw conclusions, often false, based upon our individual frames of reference. I could be wrong and hope I am, buT This is what I have discovered to be true in The surveys I have conducted among students and professors, many of whom are guiding policies in Their universities and governmenT. Whatever The truTh is, we, as a communiTY, have an obligation, I think, to do some self-discovery and make it known to those who hold our future and that of our families in their hands.
This should have been an article rather than a response to your question. I'll step off my soap box now.
Thanks for your thorough reply, Rebecca.
@rhondalee "However, I was surprised to discover thaT perceptions differed markedly from reality."
With my short crossdressing history and experience, I have started to pay attention over the last few years. A lot of effort and information will be required to counter the misinformation and toxic politics and toxic media.
You mentioned the solitary crossdresser. I didn't realise that so much of the crossdressing world was so hidden until I started reading the stories of members here (I only read this CD forum). The fear generated in the media about crossdressers is disgusting, so if you are able to get on real media sites, such as Democracy Now, maybe PBS, TYT, David Pakman, you should be able to spread your survey results and data among receptive audiences and counter the harm done. The media, good media, needs to be made aware of what you're doing.
I did a Story Corp interview for NPR early on, figuring it likely would not be broadcast, and if it were my voice wouldn't give me away, but it was, and iT did. It has circulated a few Times and when I have given class presentations to folks I have never met They recognize me by my voice! I am a veTeran, comfortable anywhere in a dress now, buT don't think I'd risk being on TV as there are still people who I might shock and who would noT accepT. I have Turned down TV interviews wiTh network reporTers. I have been interviewed on "Free to be She" but that is not likely to be seen by any but those in the TG community. Everyone has THeir limits!
@rhondalee You could request a non-video format. I am sure that the good media sites would accommodate you with good reason.
@rhondalee I'd be interested. I'm a social scientist and like to help out with this sort of thing.
That's good to hear.
This effort is related to a much larger effort which I did not want to release before we get an IRB, as I'd like to see the study be used as a credible data source for medical research and other efforts. The CD world has been neglected, and it would be a shame to spend a lot of effort developing data no one will take seriously. The general public doesn't appreciate the differences between those who transition and those who crossdress. Many assume crossdressing is just a stop on the path to transition, others assume crossdressers don't even exist, and crossdressers themselves tend to stay behind closed doors and stick to their knitting, so it is hard to prove they DO exist, even though most of us know they far outnumber those who believe they are the opposite sex. Bear in mind that crossdressers were not even under the transgender umbrella because those who defined terms did not realize they existed, so there is huge resistance from those who are convinced crossdressers are just an impediment to other goals being achieved by those who mature into beings who recognize they need operations to be their authentic selves. There is no Santa Claus if no one can prove there is a workshop at the North Pole and flying reindeer!
In the larger project we had to debate whether to offer incentives to get respondents to a study. Many avoid surveys, causing researchers to have to spend big bucks just to get data. I am hoping that CDs will realize they have a lot at stake by making their presence felt, even if they do so anonymously. They are the (silent) majority but may not realize there is anything to be gained by stepping up. I believe there is. But then I have to admit that I am in the minority of folks who have actually lost their marriage and family because others believe crossdressers are gay, apt to transition, mentally unstable, and probably perverted... creatures to be avoided. those attitudes have prevailed for ages and are not likely to change unless there is a groundswell of interest supported by credible evidence. Somebody- actually a LOT of somebodies- has to care for that to happen.
So thank you for being among those who care!
@rhondalee Wow Rhonda you sound like you have had a very difficult time at it Im sorry. and all that you said is definitely the core of what many feel. I appreciate the clarification between CD and TG although sometimes one leads to the other Im sure its not all cut and dry. I have seen signs also even inside of the LGBTQ community that some dont even support others in the same genre's which is amazing to me. there are also the Drag Queens that are in another category as well. All not the same but can all be thrown into the same bucket. As someone in the bucket Im not offended personally that we have company there but I think others are. meaning TG and DQs not sure but I have seen signs of that. Media is also part of the problem Anytime I have sen a CD on TV its such a bad depiction always depicted as a crazy person. It sucks. Thanks for being a voice for us all. RC
@river You've said a mouthful!
- Your first point, that CD often leads to TG, implies that "TG" does not include crossdressers. That in itself is part of the muddle. WPATH and the APA consider CDs to be part of the definition "transgender." I helped clarify that after talking to the original individuals who defined terms for WPATH and who were surprised that was even a question. It has become an issue because the term "transsexual" fell out of favor and was replaced by "transgender", in part because many have never acknowledged that CDs even exist. Anyway, most in the general public have come to believe that there is no difference... any legit "TG" will transition, right? Anyone else is unheard of or just an imposter or someone who has not quite made it to the end goal.
I like the genderbread images (found in "itspronouncedmetrosexual .com") as it depicts what I have always felt correct... gender presentation and gender identity are two distinctly different things and may not even be correlated to each other. Crossdressers present as female but may or not have the inner sense and belief they they ARE female. Those who "identify" as women may or may not present in a feminine manner. Insistence upon conflating the two causes all sorts of problems. Toss in drag queens, who usually, but are not always, gay, and you stir the pot even further, since sexual preference is not correlated with crossdressing but independent; one can be both, one or the other, or neither. I avoid invitations to participate in drag shows in part because I'm not interested and not a performer but mostly because I don't want to encourage further false associations. Many view Ru Paul as a crossdresser... NO.. Ru is a performer. Eddy Izzard is a good example of a crossdresser from my perspective but does not use that term.
In short, terms are problematic.
Media is of course part of the problem. The emphasis there is on sensationalism. CDs in hiding isn't very newsworthy.
@rhondalee I feel like a Hypocrite sometimes As I just Cant watch the Drag Queens . Im trying to force myself to break that stereotype inside of me but some of them are just Bitches geeze But the more I look at that as Art the more I can apreciate it but for women I think it can be offensive they are not mimicking women but sometimes the impression is they are making fun of women. and they are so mean to each other sometimes. big diference from a CD. But ya many dont see that. Thanks again. RC
There is a strong need and little credible information on crossdressers, especially since so many stay in hiding, often with no compelling need to be seen or known even by their own families. Most published, widely referenced resources I have seen are developed from those who can be identified as having seen doctors to assist their intended transition. It is no doubt credible but only for the audience studied. I think most in the general public assume there is no fundamental difference between crossdressers and transsexuals. It is hard to prove statistically that CDs even exist, even Though it is generally assumed by those "in the know" thaT crossdressers who don't believe themselves to be women far outnumber others. That leads the public to believe all who crossdress are on a path to transition, which is far from true and can only mislead and exacerbate problems.
I have devoted myself to outreach to other crossdressers ever since losing my marriage because of something neither of us understood. I cannot undo the past but hope to help others avoid my fate. I have a lot of resources now I did not have then, and have had opportunity to develop my own.
After compiling information from my own interviews I discovered another similar survey with results almost identical to mine. So while I am convinced The results are credible, iT is haRd To prove.
I am pursuing a worldwide study but want to follow all protocols before moving forward, as otherwise it may not be seen as scientifically credible. In the world of science, credibility is critical. I know there is much being promoted that lacks such research, and is criticized as a result of being a "Ready, Fire, Aim" approach. I hope to do enough research to establish credibility before drawing conclusions which may be discredited. This may require one or more piloT sTudies, which is whaT I hope to accomplish here.
I DO intend to share information... That is the point... buT wanT to be sure, before doing so, ThaT it meets protocols for confidenTiality and credibiliTy.
count me in too
I'd love to be included in the survey! Thanks!
Thanks! I need to work on a few screening QUestions before sending it to those who replied. I will get back to you and others showing interest after doing so.
Please include me in the survey if possible thanks!
Count me in!
I am in.
Lynda
Great!
Rhonda, I’d like to take the survey. Don’t know what I can contribute.
I think I answered that poll and to be part of interviewed the nearly 200 applicants.
But since I am the famous Hippie. I'm pretty sure you did.
See you in the papers
Thanks for your interest. I'll get back to you!
I'll bite too, please. I'm at an early stage of realisation, when asking myself questions is probably going to benefit me as well.
I'm happy to participate with the caveat that while I don't identify as a transwoman, I also don't identify as a "straight male crossdresser". As a nonbinary/ bigender person, is "crossdresser" still applicable to me? You tell me!
I intend to structure this so as To capture where individuals fall on The spectrum at outset. So if we geT more involved we can see where we may differ.
Count me in and looking forward to the results.
