Crossdresser

Julie,

That's a question only you can answer; I believe honesty is the best policy, but I would never advise somebody to do something which could get them kicked out of the house, or worse.
Are you and mom on good terms, generally? Has she expressed tolerance (or lack of) to thosewho are not gender-conforming? How old are you? If she had a strong negative reaction, could you survive by yourself? Many moms (and wives) are surprisingly tolerant, even supportive, but we have a few horror stories on this site, also. I suggest you try easing into the topic, and decide for yourself, based on her reaction. And good luck to you.

Hugs,
Bettylou

<p style="text-align: right;">I'm 50 years old and don't live with my mom. I'm  married and live with my spouse and I have a daughter who has since married and moved out both of them knows about my crossdressing. They are not accepting but tolerant of my crossdressing.</p>

A little information can make a lot of difference. That question is most often asked by the younger girls who are still closeted. IMO, you have no reason to keep this a secret from her, other than she is of a generation not known for tolerance toward folks like us. Still, moms often "bend the rules" for their own. Talk to her; I wouldn't be surprised if she doesn't already at least suspect.

Hugs,
Bettylou

Julie,

I never told my mother about the daughter she didn't know she had.  She passed away suddenly when I was 29, and I have regretted not telling her many times over the years.  I would suggest you sort of feel out her attitudes toward LGBTQ in general before sitting her down for 'The Talk'.  Try and gauge her beliefs and attitude before you break that ice hon.

PaulaF

My first impulse is that if you have to ask, then, "No!" What do you think?

Aramina.

My mother knew I cross-dressed but never approved and did everything she could to make me stop. This maybe a negative response to your question, but you have to be prepared for a possible let down. You just never know how someone will react.

That's a tough question to answer, Julie. It really depends on the relationship you have with her, and as a previous poster said, try to find out, if you don't already know, her level of acceptance. It depends so much on one's upbringing, tempered by their life experience.

Also, how much do you want to tell her? I guessing that if you are asking us the question, you really want to tell her about your feminine side. Parents often know their children very well, and perhaps she might have an idea you have strong a feminine side to you.

Ultimately you have to make that choice, and simply tell her about yourself. Or not.

Amy

She was born in California. I have a niece that is with significant other and she's okay with that. Yes I do really want to tell her but I I'm afraid what she will say after I do. I don't have to many more years to do this. She is in her 70. I just can't find the courage to do it and will be afraid if I  don't do it before something happens to her I will regret it. She gave me my femme name and she doesn't know it.

I have completely came out to my middle sister and she is supportive. She's only seen me dressed in pictures but we're going out for my birthday with me dressed. You never know what will happen but take it slowly and eases your loved ones into fully coming out.

if I don’t do it before something happens to her I will regret it. She gave me my femme name and she doesn’t know it.

Julie,
Yes, you will - and I think you have answered your own question. I wouldn't suggest just blurting it out, but do find a way to tell her.

Hugs,
Bettylou

If you think telling her would hurt her then I wouldn't tell her.  If you think telling her would deepen your relationship then by all means tell her.  While my wife knows and accepts me crossdressing, I would never tell others in my family.  They would be hurt and disappointed and I would not do that to them even if it means I live with my secret.  Good luck.

Julie, I rather wish I'd told my mother too, though she passed away many years while this was just a pastime for me, before this became such a large and demanding part of my life.

I would of been very concerned broaching the subject, but I think my Mom would of been alright with knowing Amy. Though she was born in 1914 in the UK, she was very liberal, and enlightened. I suspect that she had little experience with those with alt lifestyles, but she knew we had staff and customers that were gay and lesbian, but never said anything bad about them.

Also, she told me she wished she could of had another child, a girl.

I understand the fear you must have of rejection from her. Try doing something like this. I don't know if you have any friends or colleagues (make or female) that are cd or trans, but perhaps invent one, and tell her about them, and see her reaction. Though when it comes to one's children people can think so differently.

I'm not sure if this helps you at all.

Amy

I know that if I told my mom about my CDing, she would have been supportive of me.

My moms been gone for 8 years and I miss her!

Julie. I can only share with you my experience. I truly love my mom.  Having said that my mom found me wearing my sister's nite gown. I understand now why she got so upset. She did not want her son to be hurt by the outside world. Society can be cruel to those who are different. Today society is a bit more tolerent. Your mom will love you no matter what clothing you choose to wear. She never wants you to feel any pain from being ridiculed or simply put made fun of in anyway. But most of all she wants you to be happy for the life she gave you. I look at it this way now.. I do not tell my mother anything that may concern her.  She most likely knows or suspects something anyway. You have to figure out why it is so important for you to tell her.Will it make her feel happy or will it make her be concearned for your happiness and safety.  Good luck with your decision luv Stephanie