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Let me preface this by saying this is not about politics, most politicians suck. This is about how CD relates to people in current day. Please no political discussion, I don't mean to start a conversation where people lose friendships. I am posting this because this particular community seems to genuinely care about each other and I think we can talk about this politely while taking into account that other people's feelings may be much different than our own, even on this forum. Please feel free to have an opinion different from mine, as long as we can remain agreeable and even agree to disagree if need be.
Crossdressing today isn't the same as it was 10 years ago. I tend to think that all the focus in the news in the last couple of years has good points as well as bad points. For example, CD and TG seems to be more socially accepted and it's easier for people to be who they feel like they are. Transitioning is no longer a taboo thing to hear about.I would hazard a guess and say that most of the people on this board have dealt with the highs and lows that is CD/TG their whole lives, or at least from an early age. I realize there are some late bloomers as well, and that is fine. But with all the focus in the news, I feel like this issue that most of us have dealt with our whole life is becoming trivial and more of a "fad". And that might not be such a good thing.
If you check out TG forums and places on say Reddit, there are a lot of posts where people will discuss their newly found TG self. Some of them will say that they only began to feel this recently with no past CD/TG thoughts and now they are diving in to the deep end of the pool without knowing how to swim yet (Some of them don't even know that it is spelled "High Heels" and not "High Heals" yet). I am sure this genuinely happens to some, and I am sure there are some on this board that maybe this urge and feeling hit all of a sudden without having to deal with it for a long time. Please understand I am not discounting those that genuinely feel this deep inside their self. But, does the approach these days feel a bit "Fad-ish" for anyone else or is it just me? For most of us, this is deeply implanted in our persona, and we have dealt with these feeling for a long time.
I have family, friends, and co-workers that don't know about Tiffany. If you would have mentioned anything about CD or TG maybe five years ago, maybe a small joke would be made, maybe a snide remark, and life would just go on. No big deal.
5 years ago, you may hear this conversation in the general public:
"Hey did you hear about John? He now wants to be known as Jane!"
"Well, he always seemed more suited to be on the cheerleading team than the football team. Whatever, if he wants to be called Jane then that's fine. Just don't expect me to invite him to party with us"
Now, in current day, that conversation in the general public would more likely go like this:
"Hey did you hear about John? He now wants to be known as Jane!"
"Yeah, I'm getting sick of hearing about this mess in the news and having it shoved down our throats. F that *** and i will call him John if i call him anything"
I just think there is too much in the news about a subject that affects us all, and I think it is turning a larger amount of people against the idea that would have been more "live and let live" if left alone. How do you all feel about this? I think the whole thing that happened with Dillyn Melvaney (Purposely mis spelled, see edit note) has possibly done more to hurt us than to bring awareness. Along with all the employers now seeming "hopping on the bandwagon" and pushing to find TG employees so they can do some self promotion to show how inclusive they are. I'm even getting tired of hearing about it at work and wish to be left alone. My employer wants to know my pronouns. I really don't care about the whole pronoun thing and doesn't bother me one way or the other, but if i have a friend that wants to be called "She" instead of "he", then I will do that for them because it is a friend and I care about how they feel. I would not do it just because socially it is what is expected these days. I just think that the awareness is just too much, too fast. I think that it tends to discount people who are genuinely wrestling with who they are down deep inside and it is turning this issue into a passing fad that some people hope will just go away. And those people will live with the "bad taste" this issue left behind and be completely against people who they may not have been bothered by before. Seems like the pendulum always swings backward just as much as it swung forward.
I don't know, maybe its just me.
I hope you all have a wonderful day
Tiffany
Yes, you are right, there are those in the news that do us more harm than good as we sisters search for understanding. We are content to be left alone, and do not want to impose are lifestyle on others. But we have rights the foremost being to our dignity. I am on no crusade to have anyone live as I, conversely others should keep their feelings out of my life. I’m a senior and have witnessed 65 years of prejudice. Is it better today yes, but both sides are more out in the public eye than ever before.
Wow very deep thoughts Tiffany. I live in Florida and it's a total crap shoot to even talk about this stuff. You might get a sympathetic ear or you might get a punch in the nose. It seems like in the last 5 years things have gotten worse-at least down here.You are totally right about the pendulum effect hopefully in a few years it will swing back the other way. I truly hope so.
I am in no position to judge anyone else’s expression of self. Gate keeping or dismissing another’s experience as a “fad” is never a good thing IMHO.
I don’t think any aspect of a person’s personality including sexuality and gender expression needs to be static to be valid. The human experience is often marked by growth and change.
Visibility can lead to criticism and backlash as much as it can lead to acceptance and change. So there is always risks. But, it is a lot easier for someone to slit your throat in the dark. Being invisible is only an illusion of safety.
Yes Tiffany,you are right.In my opinion,and ONLY my opinion,the media seems to jump hard on the transgender issue,wherever we fit into it.I feel they are reporting and using a commercial paint sprayer when a one inch brush would do.I often wonder if any of the media people have any transgender{and I am including everybody} relatives and how would they{the media people} would like it if the media descended upon their family.
I absolutely agree that visibility should be helpful, it just depends on who is holding the light. I wish for the safety of everyone here, and I just hope that the "light holders" are doing it for the right reasons and not just self promotion (this goes more for companies than it does people)
Such a meaningful post Tiffany. " too much in the news about a subject that affects us all" . I was talking to my manager last week and we discussed the same topic.. " we are loaded with so much of information. Our brain doesn't know how to process it all at once" . It is better not to react to these posts and just move on.. Its just not worth it anymore. I dress up, I feel pretty. I don't have to scream out loud and say i'm a crossdresser. If someone expresses it, i'd be happy for them. Once step above i'd just give a hug. Life is so short to react to anyone's opinion. I started reading books for my anxiety issues and it is truly helping me to control my nerves. Importantly, changed my browser's news homepage.
Hugs
Neha
The pendulum always swings back, I just hope it doesn't swing so hard that the CD/TG doesn't have to go into hiding for self preservation. In some places, the LGB is already shunning the T. We have been in hiding for years, and now all of a sudden we have been pushed out of the closet (generally speaking) and pushed to the front of the line. I just hope it doesn't cause people that were indifferent before to become haters...
That is a really good analogy, I think the one inch brush is the better and less divisive (and safer for us all) approach.
LOL, yes, be aware of where you get your news! this goes for all sides! Thank you
Tiffany I am totally on the same page with you and seen the public opinions go back and forth( mostly negatively in the 65 years I’ve been CDing /I’m 76) Without getting into politics which I could really go on about- especially Florida. I will say this. My wife is on Facebook with a whole lot of long time friends and others( associates whom she’s known but has not unfriended them. This past week a person from our former church ( a pillar and Deacon ) which we left 15 years ago posted this idiotic post:
”Youre either born a male or female - END of Story!-“. I’m glad I’m not on that media😡 I would not hold back
Meghan
I tend to stay off of FB because it can be so divisive. I have friends that i disagree with some of their views. Some I vehemently disagree with. But I support their right to have their beliefs. And because we can agree to disagree, I can still be friends with them. People's views aren't changed with hate filled retorts. Those only divide us more. If we can learn to genuinely care about others, even those we disagree with, this world would be a much better place. Thank you for your reply!
I don't think you can have a meaningful conversation about something inherently political and leave the politics aside just to avoid the ban hammer. I find the idea that there's something faddish about exploring your gender identity or sexual orientation deeply offensive as well as patently absurd. People are risking basically ALL of their relationships, and subjecting themselves to all the negative outcomes that accrue to transgender individuals just because "all the cool kids are doing it"? Sure.
There's a lot in the news about trans not because the media finds it fascinating, but because the culture warriors want it there. Good luck keeping the politics out of it. I've seen so many threads closed for far less than this. Let this be the next one.
In my personal dictionary, a person who is anti-woke is a person who is against learning.
In my life I have had contact with thousands of school children. Whenever I could, I pointed out to them that knowledge is power. You cannot learn too much. Learn everything.
I am dismayed by all the hate. Has the world totally forgotten “The Golden Rule”?
I may need to clarify a bit, I don't see what we go through as a "Fad". Far from it, it is something that this community has to deal with on a much deeper level. I used the term "Fad" as how I feel that mass media of all political views sees this issue. "The newest big story" so to say. Soon they will be on to the NEXT big story, whatever that may be. And the shattered pieces of an issue that is close to us as a community is what is left in it's wake. Culture warriors tend to use whatever is in the spotlight in the moment and i just hope that it doesn't divide us as a people more. Sincerely, Thank you for your reply.
