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Curious

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Posts: 155
Lady
Topic starter
(@butteryeffect)
Reputable Member     Preston, Lancashire, United Kingdom
Joined: 2 years ago

I think we all find our gender nonconforming natures inexplicable at a deeper level than feeling right or good however one of the things that drives my crosdressing is curiosity, what does it feel like to wear a dress, heels, makeup, etc. and wondering why an adult human would choose clothing and footwear that is apparently impractical.

Part of my brain - the male part I guess - really cannot  understand why anyone, cis-woman, trans-woman, whoever would choose to wear those things and the reason for this post is that outside of exercise I have spent the week in skirts and dresses and yesterday evening whilst cooking in a jumper dress and knee high boots my mind wandered and I thought "why would anyone dress like that" and I had no idea but I was still doing it. So when I got up this morning I was just going to wear joggers and a hoodie but I couldn't decide so I've ended up in a dress and tights again.

Do you dress for curiosity, to try to understand what it feels like? And if so why having done it once and experienced the feeling do you do it over and over? Also do you experience the duality of it both it feeling "right" and simultaneously feeling that it is incomprehensible?

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Duchess
(@pattyphose)
Joined: 9 years ago

Famed Member     Long Island, New York, United States of America
Posts: 2296

When I first began dressing, I knew I liked how the clothes looked, felt and how I felt when wearing them. I really enjoyed my "special time". But I wanted more. I wanted prettier clothes that fit me right. I wanted to put them on, feel all pretty and go out wearing them like the girls did.

As I got older, I would see girls looking so pretty. I wanted to look just like them. How would it feel to look like that, and be out where everyone could see you? I would get home, put on my "special time clothes and think of that girl or girls I saw that day. How did they feel being so pretty, confident and admired? I wanted to know that. I wanted to feel and experience that. I studied what girls did when they were out. The way they looked, the way they moved, the way they drew attention. I wanted to do all that and know how it felt.

Little by little, I got to the point where I was able to do it. it was scary, but once the fear subsided, it was the most incredible, exciting and thrilling experience. As my confidence and bravery grew, I got bolder and bolder, and the thrills and excitement got stronger. There is just no other feelings like that and no other way I'm aware to feel like that.

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(@cdashley)
Joined: 4 years ago

Noble Member     Oshawa, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1488

@butteryeffect Well so I’ve read this is in us from the start. Which would bring on this curiosity of trying on moms or sisters things. Then once the seed is sewn and the great feeling you achieve from doing this it starts the ball rolling. Even though you go through guilt and shame and ask ourselves “why do I enjoy this so much. I’m a boy but I love how I feel when I wear women’s clothing.” I know in my case I was very curious to try on my sisters pantyhose as they hung on the shower curtain rod drying.  As much as I thought it was wrong I still  kept doing it. Then things seem to evolve to try another item, well pantyhose were nice so I wonder what that slip would feel like. The pantyhose and slip feel great so I wonder what heels would feel like. Then boom your dressing fully and applying makeup.  So yes I think your on to something with this fact of being curious about feeling femme. I know I was.

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Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 2 years ago

Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 3996

@butteryeffect In nature, it is usually the male that has more plumage and colour, but, in humans, it is the female. I want to look better than how most human males look in drab, so I sort of have a reason or goal for my dressing. I just wish that I could do it in the outdoors, in nature, more fully more often.

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Lady
(@sashabennett)
Joined: 1 year ago

Noble Member     Wick, Caithness, United Kingdom
Posts: 801

@harriette It hasn't always been that way though, you don't have to go back too far, 17th 18th century, to find some serious peacockery in the male wardrobe. I don't know why it changed, the foibles of fashion I guess but it's time for it to come back if you ask me.

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Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 2 years ago

Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 3996

@sashabennett Puritanism and Victorianism probably had something to do with it. Designers tried in the hippy era, but then Reganism hit soon after.

Crossdressers need to set some trends of our own, right? 🫣

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Lady
(@sashabennett)
Joined: 1 year ago

Noble Member     Wick, Caithness, United Kingdom
Posts: 801

@harriette I kjnd of think crossdressing is setting trends of our own. Whether it catches on is a different thing altogether. I'd take general acceptance as a start.

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Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 2 years ago

Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 3996

@sashabennett OK, which trends do you think crossdressers are making?

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Lady
(@sashabennett)
Joined: 1 year ago

Noble Member     Wick, Caithness, United Kingdom
Posts: 801

@harriette Crossdressing itself sets a trend wouldn't you say? Trendsetters are always ahead of the game & it certainly feels like we are pushing boundries.

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Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 2 years ago

Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 3996

@sashabennett Pushing boundaries doesn't necessarily set any at least lasting trends. I set one-day trends every time that I go outside! 🥳

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Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 2 years ago

Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 3996

@sashabennett I am going to attempt going to a CD gathering soon. I have ordered 3 go-to dresses (I said that I wasn't going to buy any more dresses because I can't easily wear them out of the house, so there goes that out the window), plus I just came across a recent, simple runway trend that seems to be gathering attention. It looks reasonable. I will try to combine them and see if I can pull it off.

This is not a CD setting a trend but following one.

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Lady
(@sashabennett)
Joined: 1 year ago

Noble Member     Wick, Caithness, United Kingdom
Posts: 801

@harriette There is always room for another dress or 3 & we have to let the rest of the world have some trends don't we? 😀

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Ambassador
(@jacquelinelarkspur)
Joined: 1 year ago

Famed Member     Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Posts: 1497

@butteryeffect 

I dress to escape. To gain a sense of freedom from being who I am, even if only for a few hours. To feel different, prettier, younger, more interesting than the same, plain, old, boring me!

Personally I don't dress out of curiosity for what it feels like, but because I feel compelled to. I think that's the case for practically every crossdresser, because our origin stories are often so similar. We discover, we explore, we experiment, and we keep on doing it because of the way it makes us feel. It's a part of who we are.

I'm finding the question about the duality of it difficult to answer satisfactorily. On the one hand it does feel "right" when I dress, because it makes me happy. On the other hand I know that society has a generally low tolerance for MTF crossdressers, which leads to the perception of an undeserved sense of "wrongness" which isn't easy to shake off.

On a side note, it's always seemed unfair that society's view of FTM crossdressers is far more forgiving.

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Lady
(@jillleanne)
Joined: 2 years ago

Prominent Member     Renfrew, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 594

@butteryeffect no curiosity here, all necessity affirming who I am as a person.

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Ambassador
(@lucyb112)
Joined: 2 years ago

Noble Member     Staffordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 1004

@butteryeffect 

When I was younger I just found female fashions much more interesting than boring male clothes. In my early teens there was an element of curiosity as to what it would feel like to wear a skirt and tights and knickers etc. and for a while I found it quite thrilling.

As time has moved on, it’s moved from feeling thrilled to feeling happy. I feel so much happier when dressed en femme, and it just feels right, there’s no sense of incomprehension at all.

 

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Duchess
(@jennconn)
Joined: 2 years ago

Noble Member     Florida, United States of America
Posts: 746

@butteryeffect thanks for posting Cathy.  My simple answer to your question is that it’s so much fun to transform from a normal looking male to a female.  I can never get enough of it, although sometimes it’s just too much trouble, but I’ll never let it go either.  And, of course it’s incomprehensible, we shouldn’t be looking for answers, just be making ourselves happy.  I know I am!

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(@heels234)
Joined: 9 years ago

Prominent Member     Mesa, Arizona, United States of America
Posts: 602

@butteryeffect I dont dress out of curiosity,I dress because dressing makes me feel complete.Since the age of 10 years,I knew I was different than most boys my age.Being raised Catholic with an Irish mother and a German father ,those kind of questions were not asked or answered.Dont get me wrong,I loved my parents dearly,its how they were taught.Thank God for the encyclopedia Britannica and Websters large dictionary.Dressing makes me feel complete and at peace,its fun and it helps the economy,especially when Michelle shops for dresses and shoes.

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Lady
(@dazzler)
Joined: 4 years ago

Noble Member     Cardiff, South Glamorgan, United Kingdom
Posts: 821

I prefer to dress in female clothing. Sometimes, I can't be bothered, but generally, I am more comfortable when dressed as a woman. I am a man. I'm not transgender. I don't "feel like a woman". I am and will always be a man in a dress. The big difference between today and a year ago is that today I try to present as a woman when venturing out. I want people to see me as a woman. This is because a year ago, I rarely went out dressed as a woman. Today I go out almost every day. Busy places, lots of people. I want to blend in. 
I see women that I think look attractive in what they are wearing, and I'll try and emulate them, this explains why 90% of my over 100 skirts are too short for a man of 56 years of age 🙂 I see a look and I try and copy it, or I'll merge looks to see how they work. 
I am happier dressed as a woman. I see it as a challenge in some respects. when I dress, it has to be right. The shoes have to work with the outfit. The jewellery has to work with the outfit. It all has to fit together. Even if I'm just knocking around the house, I have to look the part. Not smart, but the skirt has to go with the top. The shoes have to go with the outfit. The necklace has to work.... It has to be right. I possess many handbags (purses). I have to have one that goes with what I am wearing. My coat (I have many) has to work with the outfit, and the handbag has to go with the coat.... 
When i look in the mirror and I see a perfectly matched Cerys looking back at me, I often say to myself "hey, you're good at this!" I always say if you are going to do it, do it properly! Getting Cerys ready in the morning is to me, what an artist must feel like when painting. I'm creating a person. How I dress depends on mood. Sometimes it's rock chic Cerys. Sometimes it's smart casual Cerys. Sometimes it's "typically tranny" Cerys. Today it was middle aged, middle classed Cerys. A longer than normal dress that was suited to the area we were visiting. I'm a working class guy , but I can create the illusion :-). 
I enjoy the impracticality of female clothing. The lack of pockets is annoying, but it allows the use of a handbag. Heels can be annoying, but they make the legs look great, and all too often finish the look. 

When it's cold, dressing as a female has many advantages. All the layers, the tights, knee length boots. I'm always warmer when dressed as a woman than I am as a man.
I gave up wondering why I crossdress. I was taken ill nearly a year ago and it nearly killed me. I'm still suffering a little today, but like I have accepted that I'll never be the person I was before (I have a few limitations as my kung capacity is reduced), I have also accepted that I am a crossdresser. I will always be a crossdresser. Nothing can change that, and I have embraced it fully. This has take 40 years or more from my first forays in wearing my girlfriends (no wife's) underwear etc. 
I stopped asking why. The answer is why not?

 

Cerys.

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Duchess
(@alison-anderson)
Joined: 6 years ago

Noble Member     Middlesex county, New Jersey, United States of America
Posts: 1741

@butteryeffect When I was very young, it was definitely out of curiosity. The silky skirts or half slips always made me tingle just by touching it, and I was curious what it would be like not just to touch it but to be surrounded by it. I also remember when I was young my mom would cut my nails, with the remnants usually on her house dress. She would lift the skirt and carry the clippings to the garbage before sweeping them in.

When I first went out of the house it was somewhat of curiosity. I wanted it to feel "normal" wearing a skirt out of the house, feel a breeze blow the skirt against my legs or just to be out and about in a skirt.

Now it's not so much from curiosity. I like the way a skirt or dress feels on my legs, and how it feels when I move.  Although I still enjoy something silky against my skin, I am happy to go with other materials.

You asked "Why would anyone dress like that?" One Halloween I went to my dentist while having candy corn nails. He told me a story of one time when he wore a skirt on Halloween, and later asked his wife the same question.

But I don't think a skirt or dress is always impracticable. In early cultures, and particularly in warm or hot climates, a skirt is probably more practical than pants or shorts. It is simple to make, if it is wide enough you practically need only the waist measurement, and it keeps your private parts cooler. Think of ancient Egyptian drawings of men in short skirts or Arabs in the desert in caftans, or even ancient people wearing robes (wrap dress?). You don't need a lot of measurements to make it fit like you do with pants (waist size, hip size, crotch rise, inseam length) that vary person to person and is simpler to cut and sew. With a dress you have one piece to put on and you're done with top and bottom, particularly if it is a pullover dress. It wasn't that long ago that both boys and girls would wear dresses when young because it was easier to change them. With all the undergarments that women used to wear, a dress was essential when she had to pee because she didn't have to take everything off to use a chamber pot.

Today fashion, dress codes or expectations, and occasions determine why people "dress like that."

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Lady
(@lynnette87)
Joined: 6 years ago

Active Member     Massachusetts, United States of America
Posts: 10

@butteryeffect while out shopping with my daughter last week she asked why I liked wearing bras because she thinks they’re uncomfortable and I said I’ve always loved wearing them especially when they fit really good

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Lady
(@jillannquinn)
Joined: 4 years ago

Noble Member     Reno, Nevada, United States of America
Posts: 627

@butteryeffect  Cathy, I suppose curiosity is what started it for me, but it was a very strong and compelling kind of curiosity. Not something mundane like being curious about what a new soda tastes like, or how a bad team will do in the coming season. No, this was like an unstoppable force. When I was 15, I tried on a pair of my sister’s panties for the first time. If I hadn’t done it that day I would only have postponed the inevitable. Eventually, I would have tried on something.

Now I wonder how I’ll look wearing a particular article of women’s clothing, but if I like it and I can afford to buy it, I have no doubt that I’ll just love it if it fits well.

But impractical? Absolutely. Especially for a heterosexual guy who isn’t trans. And sometimes I have to question why I love cross dressing so much, but the answer is simple: I love the feeling I get from it!

Hugs, Jill

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Posts: 2098
Hostess
(@cdsue)
Famed Member     Delaware, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

Cathy -<.

For me the question would be - why wouldn't anyone dress like that. 

When I first tried on my mother's clothes when I was young it was out of curiosity. As I got older the few times I wore lingerie it was because I liked the feel of the material and I will admit there was a bit of stimulation involved. That being said, when I came out to my wife and started dressing more frequently (now almost daily - even if only for an hour or two) the feelings are different. I enjoy the styles, patterns, colors, different materials in clothes and being able to accessorize with earrings, necklaces, bracelets and rings. Then there is make up and a wig, as well as  shoes. It is nice being able to dress and be pretty. In addition for me it is an escape so to speak, I am able to be another part of myself which helps me decompress. I also find a certain freedom being in a skirt or dress where I'm not confined as I am in slacks, jeans or shorts. That in and of itself is a reason to dress in a skirt or dress.

XOXO
Suzanne

 

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Posts: 1058
Duchess Annual
(@robertaf)
Noble Member     Louisiana, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

I must admit that when very young it was curiosity that pushed me to try on my mother's things. I was fascinated with how it felt to wear women's clothing. Once i figured out how to make breast, I was hooked on the look.  I had to try on almost every item she had just so I could feal the sensation of wearing so many different items. 

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Posts: 3404
Hostess
(@ab123)
Illustrious Member     Surrey, United Kingdom
Joined: 5 years ago

I often wonder whether it was curiosity or necessity as the feeling was right, I feel it was the latter as  I wanted to be a girl. That said the fascination for female clothes was part of an exploration to understand the feel of them and to emulate a woman. To me it gives me my identity so wearing more feminine clothes strengthens that.

The practicality is another thing as back in the day women did wear very feminine attire doing the chores but that changed to the casual.look to now only the shaping,brand or colour differentiates male and female clothes but now even that has blurredwith the myriad of gender identities.

As for the term 'non gender conforming' , does it apply to trans who are conforming to the gender we feel we are? Or is the term for the other genders outside the two base genders as it seems to blur sexuality and gender. You have to have a basepoint for the term to be validated thus accepting gender is based on 

If all fashion were the same for men and women would there still be crossdressers..just a thought.

 

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Lady
(@butteryeffect)
Joined: 2 years ago

Reputable Member     Preston, Lancashire, United Kingdom
Posts: 155

@ab123 I really struggle with the ever changing terminology in this area. I assume, perhaps wrongly, that people who have transitioned to living full time as their chosen gender are beyond curious and do not have the duality that I have in terms of dressing a certain way and at the same time wondering why anyone would dress like that.

Posted by: @ab123
If all fashion were the same for men and women would there still be crossdressers

It seems to me that it never has been, even remote and isolated tribes have male and female attire, if nothing else because different parts of the anatomy need protection and support. I do wonder though how I would feel had a I lived a few centuries ago when male clothing was flamboyant and (some rich) men wore makeup and wigs etc.

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Posts: 210
Lady
(@denises924)
Reputable Member     Massachusetts, United States of America
Joined: 1 year ago

For me, I think it started as curiosity as to how those soft, silky clothes would feel. Then morphed into wondering how girls feel when dressed in various feminine outfits. Currently, it is a need to spend time feeling like a girl and enjoying the emotions that come along with it. All that being said, it still feels nice compared to male clothing, especially since there are choices for the mood I am in - or want to be in.

Denise
❤️

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Hostess
(@ab123)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     Surrey, United Kingdom
Posts: 3404

@denises924 That's the key no matter how you define yourself, it's the feeling and variety on offer. Hence my female wardrobe is many times bigger than the male ever was. That answers the question as to why women take so long to get ready..

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Ambassador
(@jacquelinelarkspur)
Joined: 1 year ago

Famed Member     Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Posts: 1497

@ab123 

Yes, girls really do have all the best stuff!

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Guest
(@Anonymous 94214)
Joined: 1 year ago

Estimable Member
Posts: 147

@jacquelinelarkspur  I really do agree with that 100%.   Was looking in M&S today for some smart "mens trousers" for cruise we have booked in the spring.  The choise was dismal all black or grey and totally boring.  Women really do have the best.

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Ambassador
(@lucyb112)
Joined: 2 years ago

Noble Member     Staffordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 1004

@elaines Most of my Lucy gear is from M&S or Next, but I agree, the mens choice in M&S is just dismal

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Guest
(@Anonymous 94214)
Joined: 1 year ago

Estimable Member
Posts: 147

@lucyb112 I have few numbers from Roman Origionals and some from eBay of course.

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Lady
(@denises924)
Joined: 1 year ago

Reputable Member     Massachusetts, United States of America
Posts: 210

@ab123 

So true Angela. It's a wonderful problem to have 😊

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Posts: 1444
(@finallyfiona)
    Leighton Buzzard, Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 year ago

Having had no inherent attraction to femininity or 'female' clothes as a child, when the spark of curiosity happened with me a couple of years ago, for some reason I nurtured it.  Sure, a lot of it was sexual thrill at the very start.  Once I got beyond just the lingerie and breast forms though, it was more about how the clothes physically felt to wear.  But then much like @denises924 says I realised how wearing them was also making me feel emotionally, different pieces in different ways.  But most importantly, I realised I felt happier the more womanly my reflection looked back at me out of the mirror.  Although I was always comfortable as my drab self, there's a new connection which I'm still working out the place and meaning of in my life.

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Lady
(@lisa55)
Joined: 3 years ago

Prominent Member     Gloucester, Virginia, United States of America
Posts: 555

@finallyfiona my wife rather enjoys me being Lisa, more so than my male self. As Lisa I am a better person. I am kinder, gentler, more positive and much less of a depressed person. We talk differently and I tend to be more attentive to her banter as well. Paying more attention to her than myself. In return she treats me as her girl friend as well. We have discussed it more than once as to how much she likes Lisa. I would say dressing has everything to do with it. It does affect who and what I am.

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(@finallyfiona)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Leighton Buzzard, Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 1444

@lisa55 I so wish for the same to be the case with my OH, for both our sakes.  Sadly I fear we'll never progress beyond DADT.  We'll have to see, The Talk will probably happen later on this year.

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Posts: 1043
Managing Ambassador
(@melodeescarlet)
Famed Member     DC/Baltimore, Maryland, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

@butteryeffect If/when asked about this I usually present two reasons:

  1. Expression: There are parts of me that need expressing, and these are generally incongruous with "guy me". Melodee gives me the freedom to express these in a way that, to me, feels far more natural.
  2. Relief: The world and time that I've lived in have put upon me certain responsibilities - some I had choice in, some I did not. Men (at least in my country) are expected to live by certain rules - rules put in place both by men and by women. Becoming Melodee gives me the opportunity to shrug that burden off my shoulders, if only for a brief time.

There are certainly more complicated facets involved, but I feel like those are the cornerstones.

(ponders the stability of herself with only two cornerstones, then remembers she isn't a mason and so it'll be fine)

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(@rebeccabaxter)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 1278

Posted by: @melodeescarlet

(ponders the stability of herself with only two cornerstones, then remembers she isn't a mason and so it'll be fine)

 

You'll be fine. A cornerstone is the first stone put on the foundations against which all the other stones are referenced, ergo, you only need ONE cornerstone and you have two! Smile  

 

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Managing Ambassador
(@ellyd22)
Joined: 2 years ago

Majestic Member     Norfolk, United Kingdom
Posts: 5176

@melodeescarlet I've made a few phone calls and there should be a whole truck load of cornerstones arriving at your house ... um ... *checks watch* ... any time now.

Take as many as you need 🙂

The driver's name is Bob.

Don't ask him where he got them from.

It's best if you don't know, in case the authorities start sniffing around.

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Managing Ambassador
(@melodeescarlet)
Joined: 2 years ago

Famed Member     DC/Baltimore, Maryland, United States of America
Posts: 1043

@ellyd22 Ah, my uncle? 🤔

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Managing Ambassador
(@ellyd22)
Joined: 2 years ago

Majestic Member     Norfolk, United Kingdom
Posts: 5176

@melodeescarlet Wait, what? Bob's your uncle?

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Ambassador
(@jacquelinelarkspur)
Joined: 1 year ago

Famed Member     Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Posts: 1497

@ellyd22 @melodeescarlet 

[Jacqueline stands up defiantly]

Bob's MY uncle!

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Managing Ambassador
(@ellyd22)
Joined: 2 years ago

Majestic Member     Norfolk, United Kingdom
Posts: 5176

@jacquelinelarkspur  @melodeescarlet 

*Looks confused, and checks notes*

Er ... could there be TWO Uncle Bobs? It's quite a common name.

*Ellie's mind is racing. She knows that both Melodee and Jacqui always tell the truth. So ... if it turns out that there IS only one Uncle Bob after all, then ... well ... is a crossdresser forum the best way for them to discover that they are, in fact, related?*

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Ambassador
(@jacquelinelarkspur)
Joined: 1 year ago

Famed Member     Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Posts: 1497

@ellyd22 @melodeescarlet

doof, doof, doof, doof, doofdoofdoofdoof

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Managing Ambassador
(@ellyd22)
Joined: 2 years ago

Majestic Member     Norfolk, United Kingdom
Posts: 5176

@jacquelinelarkspur @melodeescarlet 

doof, doof, doof, doof, doofdoofdoofdoof

Let's see if anyone outside of the UK understands that ... 

They may just think that you've nodded off on the keyboard.

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Ambassador
(@jacquelinelarkspur)
Joined: 1 year ago

Famed Member     Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Posts: 1497

@ellyd22 

I almost went for Waaaaaa, wahwah wa-wa-waaaaa...

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Posts: 147
Guest
(@Anonymous 94214)
Estimable Member
Joined: 1 year ago

I think my first wish to dress was to experiance what it was like to dress as a girl (I was young then) at secondary school, just looking at the fashions jused to drive me crazy.

Now I just dress enFem when I want too. Its another facet of who I am.

Best of both worlds only my fem side is lets say, sheilded from the public gaze.

May have been different if I was young again in these times now.

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Posts: 155
Lady
Topic starter
(@butteryeffect)
Reputable Member     Preston, Lancashire, United Kingdom
Joined: 2 years ago

Thank you all so much for taking the time to reply, all very informative.

I guess I would be interested to know if anyone else experiences the duality of simultaneously crossdressing and wondering why anyone would dress like that 

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Posts: 1778
Baroness Annual
(@d44)
Famed Member     New York, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

In the beginning starting in my early teens there was a ton of curiosity which quickly gave way to decades of guilt, shame and purges as I wondered why anyone would dress like that. But I finally came to realize that there was nothing wrong with me and came to truly accept myself for who I really was. Now that I live full time as a woman, dressing in woman's clothes is simply me being me, nothing to wonder about any more.

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Posts: 147
Guest
(@Anonymous 94214)
Estimable Member
Joined: 1 year ago

No pain, no gain. 

IMHO, the female form is a beautiful work of art and a work-in-progress.  I strive for perfection, knowing I will never achieve it.  All the more which is why I will never understand the wig and a dress crowd. 

The "why" has been asked for many years, in many different ways.  Perhaps because it just feels right. 

So, why chose clothing and footwear that is impractical?  Why not?

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Posts: 34
(@laurynvalentine)
Trusted Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Joined: 1 year ago

I agree completely. High heels, leather skirts and sexy dresses, in addition to cute sundresses lol

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Posts: 114
Duchess Annual
(@patches)
Estimable Member     Maryland, United States of America
Joined: 1 year ago

I feel generally happier and like myself when I dress. The world seems less stressful too which i think is related to generalized anxiety caused by dsyphoria. 

I generally where clothes that I think accentuate my more feminine features and or make me feel cute or comfortable.  I sometimes try to glam up a bit sometimes but usually only at the request of a guy friend. 

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Posts: 125
Duchess
(@traci429)
Reputable Member     Brighton area, Michigan, United States of America
Joined: 1 year ago

Interesting topic of discussion. My therapist asked me to think about “Why do you dress?”. This was meant for me to look within myself and try to answer the question. She is encouraging me to think about the reason why I started and why I want to keep doing it. I have stopped before for a while and then the feelings come back. Originally, when o first started in my early teens, it was about the feel of the nylon or satin. It was a sexual arousal. Now it’s more about the feeling wearing a dress and how it feels against my legs and walking in heels. The sensation is hard to explain. I also do feel a lot less stresss and relaxed when dressed. Now I’m trying to figure out why I can’t feel relaxed more when I’m in guy mode. I have been thinking about this and trying to understand if it is related to my childhood events in my family (that’s another story). We have all had our issues growing up and my question is how did it impact me and is this part of why I want to become Traci? I’m not sure why I dress and still trying to figure out why. I do know the feeling is different and exciting to feel feminine. Anyhow, I keep looking to my past for the answer and through therapy I hope to figure this out. Thanks for listening to me. -Traci

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3 Replies
Ambassador
(@jacquelinelarkspur)
Joined: 1 year ago

Famed Member     Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Posts: 1497

@traci429 

My own take on it is that you feel more stressed in guy mode because you're carrying all your everyday guy mode baggage with you. In girl mode you adopt a different persona (at least, I do), which creates the illusion of pushing the guy mode baggage into the background for a while. I suppose that, in part, crossdressing acts as a safety valve of sorts. It allows us to banish our normal cares and worries to concentrate on something that feels altogether more pleasant.

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Lady
(@butteryeffect)
Joined: 2 years ago

Reputable Member     Preston, Lancashire, United Kingdom
Posts: 155

@jacquelinelarkspur I find having discussions like this is really interesting. For me it is different, I am always just me, I don't have modes or personas and I regard myself as bi-gender, there is always a male part and a female part regardless of how I am dressed or what I am doing.

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Ambassador
(@jacquelinelarkspur)
Joined: 1 year ago

Famed Member     Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Posts: 1497

@butteryeffect 

It is fascinating, isn't it, how what is essentially the same activity can be performed with a variety of mindsets, each as valid as the next.

 

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Posts: 63
Duchess
(@hueych53ch46)
Trusted Member     Beach park, Illinois, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

Traci

I'm in the exact spot you are

Yet a lot of my cross-dressing deals with stress in marriage but lately

My desires to live as women have become stronger and stronger

Right now I feel like Cinderella in my marriage

So I always ask myself why can't I dress up as women and feel a little better about being feminine around the house

Since my wife is disabled why not be less stressed and dress up

I have a an old girlfriend from high school who encouraged me to feel feminine and dress up as women

If I was single I would probably dress up as women all the time

For all of us cross-dressing is different for everyone

I'm still trying to figure out my self 

 

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