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Vent here... I am 6'4"... which puts me at taller than 99.54% of all US males and taller than 99.99% of all US females... I stick out and am unusual in any crowd as Doug and as Megan... lets say I feel like a circus freak... and in heels, which I love, I look like I am on stilts. There isn't a damn thing i can do about it and i do my best to make believe it isn't true but any time i even think of going out in the real 'public' i just cant get through the door. I am built like John Wayne, big all over (well almost all over... ) with a 20" neck and fingers that are off the top of the men's rig size charts, let alone women's and wrists that are more suited to wearing what for others are arm bands than any women's bracelet's so accessorizing is pretty much impossible with anything off the shelf... i read about other girls shopping in thrift stores and stop as soon as i remember that most thrift stores don't have men's clothes big enough for me let alone women's.... as Doug my size has been handy many times.. but Megan just wishes she were 5'4"... That's it, rant over... love to all my sisters...
@sailor2000 Hi Megan, let me tell you two things I've learned:
1) At Keystone in '23 I met a girl who's easily your height, likely taller. She was stunning, and wearing 6" platforms. A friend of mine who's older than I said, "Tall girls shouldn't wear heels, it makes them stand out." To which I replied, "That girl's gonna be tall no matter what she does, so why not lean right into it? If they're gonna stare no matter what, then be _ing fabulous when they do."
2) I didn't used to like my figure/shape. I looked in the mirror and it wasn't what I found attractive, and I bemoaned this for a while. One day, someone looking at my photos was quite complimentary and I thanked them, but pointed out how my figure was a bit 'thicc', and this person said, "Yes...that's exactly what I like about it." Lightbulb! I don't need to look like what I'm attracted to, I just need to look as me as I can and then whoever likes that look will find it attractive.
Don't spend too much time lamenting what you don't have or aren't good at, girl, it's mostly wasted energy and it tears down the self confidence we all need to be building up. Find out what you do have and what you are good at and lean right in to those things! 🙂
For the record, I find tall to be exceptionally attractive, so there.
I was 5'10 and 1/2 but a recent physical at the doctors showed my height to be 5'9; so don't worry, if you live long enough, you'll shrink.
Yes I know, that just wasn't helpful .
Just be you I understand that being shorter be nicer I usually have to wear more dresses due to I’m 6’2 shirts and pants are hard to find that fit properly you say freak and you stick out picture this I’m 6’2 and wear 9in heels lol who sticks out lol I don’t care tho it’s my style and what I like just be true to yourself and do what makes you happy and hell with everyone else have fun enjoy this life style we all gotca your back here TC
I understand your struggle, I think all of us do - we worry we look too manly, too masculine. I don't have a remedy for that, sadly, but I do have a story I can share with you:
A couple of years ago I went out to dine at one of the nicer chain restaurants, and most of the outing was completely unremarkable except for one thing - the tallest, most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. She towered over everybody: women, men, ceiling fans, everything. Granted, she was wearing some conservative short heels, but even without them she'd still be the tallest thing in the room.
And everyone was in awe of her height because -and here's the important bit- she carried it gracefully, and she owned it. She knew she was tall, how could she not, having to look down to talk to anyone, and she still wore heels! And because she was so graceful, so well-dressed, with tasteful makeup, her outfit all worked together and made her look super pretty and super feminine.
And so, years later, I still remember her. I don't remember anything else from that day, but that beautiful tall girl is seared into my memory.
So I'm with Melodee on this one - find out what your best features are, and own them, just like this girl did!
PS: don't worry too much about accessories, they're cute but not really necessary - this girl wasn't wearing any
There was me moaning that I can't find court shoes in my size here in the UK. I feel for you. I'm lucky that I'm only 5'10". I'm a UK 18 in tops and dresses, and a UK 16 in skirts and trousers etc. A recent long term illness caused me to lose a fair bit of weigh, so I can often get into the next size down.
We do have shops here in the UK that specialise in larger sizes. I'm assuming that htye have similar where you are.
Have a lok on rosewe.com. They seem to cater for the larger lady, but their style isn't short or sexy 😉 They go up to UK24. They are international.
Cerys
Hi Megan,
None of us can help the way we are and we all have something to moan about the way we look, we just have to be ourselves and just do the best we can, I'm just 5-6 which is not a bad height and with heels maybe 5-9 or 5-10, but I've got big feet and big hands and broad shoulders which means i have to buy bigger size dresses to fit me at the top but the bottom half is very baggy, also finding shoes to fit is hard too,
Over here in the UK we have a store called Long Tall Sally which caters for the taller ladies,
And I've seen quite a few Tall ladies round and about,
Love Roz ❤️
You have much wiser words from Anna, Chrissie, Harriette, Melodee, Becca, Erin, Chris, Cerys, & Roz than I can offer but I will say that I can sympathize in a small way. Despite being pretty fit (I do triathlons) and average to slightly above average height at 5'10" I've always felt like my arms weren't strong enough as a man. I'm "too skinny" in my mind. But when I dress my concern flips and I feel like my arms are "too muscular". It's funny to me how the lens through which you see yourself changes your perception. I'm too weak as a man but too strong as a woman. But in reality neither of those things are true. They're just BS stories I tell myself. If I got out of my head - which I don't do, ever! but I'm going to tell you to do - I'd realize that I'm perfect the way I am (and so are you!)
Hi Megan!
Your description of yourself reminds me so much of my father. He was also 6'4" and wore a 60 US jacket. His hands were wider than mine are long. Any trouble finding gloves to fit?
The only advice I can think of for accessories is buy 2 of a bracelet you like, and link them together.
In general the best advice has already been given.
You are who you are so embrace it
Hugs,
Autumn
I'm just two inches shy of your height. And that's why I'm reluctant to go out dressed on public by myself. People can't fail to notice.
I did step out of my car while dressed to get gas at a self serve recently. . I had the pumps to myself though, and nobody seemed to notice. But to walk into a store or restaurant is a whole other kettle.
I've been lucky enough to be able to find things that fit me, and I do like the way I look in them, or at least how they look on me.
On the male side of the equation, having bodies like ours does come in handy. And they're capable of some amazing things. It is frustrating though, having these desires but being unable to project the image of femininity that naturally born women can. Our obviously very masculine body structure is almost impossible to conceal.
I don't dress up more than a very small percentage of the time, so most of the time I'm quite at home in my male physique. It's only when I'm dressed that I sometimes wish I were somehow more slender and petite. Or that I had somehow stopped growing in height and body mass around the time I first tried on a dress, Nothing points out the difference between naturally born men and women than experimenting with crossdressing.
In my case,.my size and body type comes from my father's side. Yet Ironically enough, the women on my mother's side of the family were all in the petite category. And my mother and her youngest sister were quite attractive as young women. Would that I'd inherited more of their genes.
I'm afraid I can't.offer.mucj by way of solutions to you. If I did, I'd be using them on myself. Or would I? Would I sacrifice a good portion of my natural strength for a few fleeting hours of femininity? Or is my desire for it that powerful? Would any of us, given the choice?
Either way, we can't seem to stop ourselves. We either have to find a way to embrace it and enjoy it, or deny ourselves. And miss our on all the fun.
Great advice from a lot of the gals here. Some of us can blend in better than others but very few of us can really fool anyone into thinking we are actually women. So, the key is being confident and happy with yourself and then others will enjoy being around you and accept you as well.
Interesting you are the same height as RuPaul. True she's in drag most of what we see of her but she is stunning, and somehow styles herself to embrace her height so as that it's not important. I'm slightly under 6' anymore and wearing heels feel like I'm 8' so am always overly self-conscious of my height. Lately, trying to accept I'm not the young and curvy (reverse curve in my case), nor will ever be, I have been looking for outfits that fit me more proportionately. Not sure if any of this makes sense other than I'm more focused now on embracing and working with what I am. I guess another way to say it is "I'm workin' with what I got!"
For what it's worth I read an article once that said that the average height of women in the US has increased slightly over the past 50 yrs. Maybe there is some truth to it. Just a few days ago I was out for an afternoon of shopping with my wife and had some time to waste just people watching. I did make a point to observe height of the women passing by. Surprisingly I did see quite a few that looked very close to or even slightly over 6 ft. Obviously I couldn't go up and measure them to be sure but one of my daughters is 5 ft 10 in so I can gauge based off her height and there were definitely many taller women (in flats) out and about.
I’ve gotten some clothes from eshakti, even if you order a standard size, they include a height specification. I’ve had good luck getting sleeves right with them.