Dealing with people who don't like what we are.

Hopefully, things change, but yeah. I tried to explain things to my mom once. She never really accepted crossdressers or transgendered individuals. She got mad when I was a kid and pretending I was a mom or that I sat and watched TV in my room in a dress. So explaining this to her would definitely be banging my head against a brick wall.

Welcome Jessica.  It's sad that your mom has not come around - Yet!  So many of us have taken a lot of time in acceptance of ourselves, sometimes it takes the ones we love time too.  The two of you still talk and enjoy each other.  It may well happen that one day she wants to say hi to Jessica.  Time heals , everything.

Let's not always think worst possible outcome, okay.  🙂

Stevie

Well, didn't read what the others said.  I have some real world experience.  Friends of mine have a 5 year old daughter who prefers to be treated like a boy in every aspect.  Different friends have a F2M son who had the breasts removed, F2M just graduated high school and is now entering college. F2M son has saw several psychologists prior to the breast removal.

Several girls on here have said that as young as five that were interested.  I am sure there are articles here that could help with the subject.

Hope this helps, I was just rambling.  I hope I didn't offend anyone, that was not my purpose.

Sorry to hear about this.  I get the same negative opinions from people all the time too.  We just have to deal with stuff like this, even though it is not fair.

Be well, sweetie.

~Philma

Okay, so ultimately I tend to think of this as an overarching table. There are three kinds of people: Those who are okay with it instantly, those who take time, and those who will never come around.

Once again ultimately we hope everyone falls into the first, but there is a basic understanding that there is some shock and awe to a person completely changing out mental image of them by changing their gender so it is okay if they fall into the second. I've  heard people say give them one or two weeks to get it out of their system, others say a month, I've heard people changing their mind in a year.

The ones who will never come around are unfortunately going to have to either deal with it or get lost. Its not a pleasant thought, losing someone, but you need to put your own happiness first. It is tough we live in such times, but trying to get pass it with them probably is never going to happen, give them time and then just let them leave.

I would also argue it is important to note if you want/need them to know. I dress, but not everybody knows and I don't particularly think anybody does need to know. I dress for me in my own private time and place, nobody really needs to be sticking their noses in those areas so I continue to dress without letting people. Don't ask, don't tell is how I treat my dressing a lot of the times. I understand this isn't for everybody, but I do think people need to examine whether or not they need or want somebody to know.

Thanks, yeah I always have a tendency to look at the glass half full sometimes. I'm hoping that one day she'll be able to see Jessica as I do.

It's ok, Yeah that is helpful. Thanks, Gloria.

That's true, as a friend of mine once said you can't please everyone. I know my mom would never fall into category 1, but I'm hoping that she doesn't fall into 3.

Yeah, it's not fair, but I guess that's one of the prices we have to pay.

It is actually getting better. Sites like this help. Some may recall what it was like being the only person in the world to cross-dress.

It has been said that you cannot argue prejudice out of a person because it was not argued into them. Personally, people who say nonsense such as you indicated just get me darned angry. As Marvin the Martian was wont to sat, "Vwewwy, Vwewwey angry!" But I try to recognize their fears and the fact that they have been grossly mislead by some authority figure who would have been more productively employed shucking peanuts. I am not wholly successful.

Make no mistake but that this is a battle. The advantages and potentials that you enjoy now, few as they may seem, have been hard-won and there is far to go. Aside from the best intentions of the foolish and unaware there is a malignancy that feeds that foolishness and preys upon it. It needs to be opposed.

Resistance may be futile, but it is never useless. There is always something that needs to be resisted regardless of expectations.

Maybe dig a little deeper. The next time somebody says, “What they’re doing is just wrong, and will make too many people just say they are this and get away with it”, perhaps enquire as to why it is 'just wrong' and why would anyone suffer the thousand shocks and heartaches of social calumny to get away with …, well exactly what ARE they getting away with?

But don't despair. It is getting better. I am just sorry that your mother misses the chance to get to know her daughter.

Araminta.

Hi Jessica nice to meet you and sorry for the situation but you still have a mom to try and swing your girly way and hope some day it will come around before its to late. I lost both parents of natural causes before I got the courage to come out to them . So good luck .

Stephanie Bass

I'm very sorry that your mother isn't as accepting of you as most people. Some things just take time. She doesn't rule your life though. Her opinion doesn't matter if this is you. Love yourself!

Hi Jessica,

I have found in my Life we have  very strong views about issues However when one of our loved ones comes along that takes a path down a different road the love we have for our children or a family member will make us re think that view and become more accepting.

Its not always true sweety But there is nothing stronger than a mothers love and I bet if she finds out her child likes being feminine that she will begin to change her view.

It may take a bit because as parents we can be stubborn, but as my friend Bobbi said you have to be who you are and I think now that you have discovered your feminine side there is no going back.

So don't give up hope on your mom and who you are.

Besides we all like you just the way you are .

God made you very special.

Patty

Hey Jessica, thanks for sharing your thoughts. Sounds like we’re in a similar situation; not that long ago my mum was saying something about ‘all kids these days are doing it’ (saying they’re transgender) I challenged her, ‘I’m not making it up, I read it in the newspaper’ To her generation; perhaps it’s not even that.... if you only read ‘that’ kind of newspaper I really believe it forms how you think.

Like others have written, humans are very good at shedding those perceptions when it comes to those closest to them.

(I’m still not sure I’ll ever be able to have ‘that’ conversation tho)

Seraphina xx