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Im just wondering if anyone else besides me found that they also questioned their sexuality before their gender or certainly their feminine side before reaching the place they have now in their journey?
Thanks girls
Alexis
Interesting question.,
I think depending on the age one starts feeling girly. Many of us are at least curious about what a cis girl goes through sexually.
Way before we knew anything about sex or anything sexual. Call it the innocent years we are curious about our bodies and the other children around us. We play doctor because we are curious. Some of us never stop being curious! 🥰
@gafran I like your idea of at what age one starts feeling girly. From time to time I find myself remembering details of how I was as a child and my ways of doing things, my feelings, reactions and attractions, everything was girly. In fact I found that I was considered - uno de los mariquitas del barrio- a lil'fag. But I didn't know that
@alexischops I certainly in my young days used to look at mam and sisters clothes and thought how much I'd like to wear them and what difference was between us this was age around 10
I needed to get my gender issues sorted before I started to look at the bigger picture, which included sexuality.
Everything I used to take for granted no longer applies. Labels are irrelevant. I'm completely comfortable with who I am.
/LK
I think for me the feminine side came first at a young age & then my sexuality as I hit puberty & started to get crushes on people regardless of their gender.
That is a deep question to ponder / contemplate. Does the fact that I wanted to be a girl in childhood and have always felt more comfortable around them and that many of my best friends have been girls count? Good question, I'd peg Gender Identity before sexuality since I felt this way before sexuality ever entered the equation.
Thank you so much for your reply. I think i developed or at least decided to accept my feminine side later and since then everything just kinda made sense if i look back now
Alexis
An interesting question, because not only did I always wanted to be a girl, but I also came out as gay. But what came first? As long as I can remember, I wanted to wear my sister's dresses and bra's, but it took me till age 11 to realize that I was 'sexually attracted to the gender role' that came with (wanting to be) a girl. I intentionally phrase this a bit different: I was first attracted to the idea of being 'submissive to men' before I actually started looking at men as objects of attraction. That actually took about ten years longer before I really started to look at George Clooney (and many more) as a beautiful man.
I have no idea whether this is common among young gay men, to find the idea of being intimate with men more interesting that the men themselves.
But looking back, and remembering how I used to talk about it with my sister (who knew first about my sexual orientation) I must conclude, that wanting to be a girl led to wanting to with men as a girl, led to bring attracted to men.
Funny enough I now realise that I did come out to my sister about being gay, but never told her then, that I wanted to be a girl. May have something to do with the fact that I sometimes 'borrowed' some of her clothes without her knowing 😉
I did tell her last year that I crossdress 🙂
Hugs, Frédérique
Alexis -
That could be a chicken or the egg type question.
I grew up spending a lot of time at home playing with my 3 sisters doing girly things (dolls, Barbies, playing house) and was drawn more to the girls in school then boys. I played baseball and did other boy things but wasn't very good at them - getting picked last and such. My first sexual experience was with a male, don't know how much of an influence that was for the future. I started dressing in my mothers things out of curiosity, it felt good and I imagined being a pretty girl at the time. All of that laid dormant for a long time until I started thinking about it. When that happened I started with exploring my sexuality and then my dressing. That brings us to today - I am a bisexual crossdresser still closeted for the most part. I haven't acted on my sexuality feelings, however I do dress on an almost daily basis in some fashion. I am very comfortable with how I feel about myself and continue to work on those feelings with my therapist.
The important thing for me, as it should be for everyone, is to be the person I was meant to be.
XOXO
Suzanne
No, from puberty I was more interested in chasing girls than imagining I was attracted to males. Like so many of us I started out wearing my mothers clothes and that was the "genesis" of a very... long "CD career"
It's only in latter years and via a "very interesting experience" with another CD, that I began to wonder "what it would be like". Lots of fantasying, but no "action". The "VIE" was enough to make me pull back to the "straight and narrow"
Caty
@ryanpaul “imagining I was attracted to males.” That sentence in your comment hit home. I think we all do that to some degree when we start to dress up. “Could I be gay?” Well, maybe some of us are. And maybe some aren’t. Depends on what you like, right? And we all fantasize now and then.
In my early crossdressing career I purposely put myself in places where I could meet others like myself. I visited nightclubs with crossdressers in them, all dolled up. Crossdressers wanting to be with other CD’s. Even gay guys who liked CDs. But, no matter how pretty - they’re still men under all the lace and finery.
And men are yetis. Sasquatches. Too much hair in all the wrong places. Big hands and big feet. Body odor. Yeeech.
I found out that the best, most beautiful cd’s could never really compete with a real woman at any level. For me anyway. Fantasies are great but they don’t compare to reality. And real girls. Don’t overthink things ladies.🥰
GP
@gracepal Hi Grace, Think you may have misinterpreted my comment. I was full on chasing lovely young ladies. So long ago much of it was Saturday night town hall dances... Yes... Im that... old..Much.... closer to 80 than 70
At no stage did I think or imagine I'd like to date a male.
It's only in the last 10 years or so that I've regularly "gone public" here in "the land of Oz" and even then nowhere where I would be trying to meet up with a man. Shopping and going out to dinner were my "thing"
eg https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/a-cd-daily-double-bra-fitting-and-dinner-out-part-2/
By way of explanation of the above para, I had a job which involved a lot of interstate and overseas travel. So Caty did emerge from time to time in places such as London and Toronto. Even then in a group going to nightclubs etc.
Have a peek through my photos and additional articles if you'd like to know more.
Caty.
@ryanpaul I didn’t misinterpret you Caty, I gotcha. When I emphasized your quote in my reply it was only to serve as the catalyst that triggered the memories of my earlier experiences being out and about. 😊
GP
I have questioned both my gender and sexuality since the onset of puberty
I knew I was supposed to be a girl when I was only three, and was always attracted to girls throughout my life. Almost all my friends were, and still are, girls, and I have never been interested in males, I actually feel rather repulsed at the thought. I am actually married, and found out last year that I am intersex, actually a female! My spouse is okay with it so it turns out that I'm actually a lesbian.
Hugs,
Ms. Lauren M
Hi Alexis!
Growing up in my childhood neighborhood during the 1970's, if a boy participated in anything that was deemed as belonging to the world of girls, he was labeled gay.
I liked many things from the world of girls, but kept it to myself. Mostly I denied myself from enjoying those things for fear of the label and the consequences of not being what family and the neighborhood expected of a boy.
I never thought of myself as gay but abhorred the label. I was not, and still am not attracted to men. No matter how much I admire so many pretty ladies here, it isn't "sexual" or "erotic" for me.
As a child I didn't understand gender or sexuality the way I do now. I always liked girls. I like what the girls had. I also like the sports and adventures that I had with the boys (when they weren't acting too much like jerks).
All in all I would say my sexuality has always been a rock. There certainly were times in my life where I behaved in the expected stereotypical male role when I might have wished desperately that I could just not freaking do that.... My male indoctrination was strong and effective.
Hugs,
Autumn
Have to say I never questioned my sexuality strated dressing at a very young age but never questioned why or what I just enjoy the passion and escaping the world into a female transformation
I've been attracted to women all my life. I am attracted to the female form, no matter who presents it.
Yesterday while in Madison partially en femme, I realized, I don't have to make an effort to push my self to feel or act feminine. Everyone can see how I'm made up & dressed, and I feel just as normal as can be!
But! I also thought about it the other way. Yes indeed, Dani. When around men, it was a self-conscious effort every single time to present a masculine front. I mean, every darned time, "am I acting many enough?" Dani honey, you worked your butt off trying to look masculine. A person can't exude masculinity when they're exuding femininity.
Dani
