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Do you behave differently in girl mode?

137 Posts
44 Users
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Posts: 4616
Managing Ambassador
Topic starter
(@ellyd22)
Majestic Member     Norfolk, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 year ago

Hey girls

I’ve decided to start another thread about something that’s intrigued me. It’s intended to be a fun and light hearted post, but I’m aware that it may draw one or two deeper answers! Pour yourself a glass of something nice and settle down; this is loooooong.

The question I’m posing is: when you’re in girl mode, do you experience any behavioural changes from when you’re in boy mode? In other words, does your femme side ever seem to you like she's a different person to you?

Before I elaborate, here’s a bit of background info about me to set the scene.

If any of you have read my profile, in which I possibly go into more detail than is strictly necessary, you know that like many of you I’ve experienced a steady drift along the gender spectrum. This journey sped up noticeably in recent years – I’m still trying to work out why, but ultimately perhaps that doesn’t matter. It’s as though for most of my life I’ve been orbiting the black hole of femininity, constantly experiencing the pull but always afraid to get too close. A while ago I decided that life is too short and decided to stop trying to accelerate away. As a result I crossed the event horizon and now there is probably no way back – Ellie is here to stay.

The analogy breaks down beyond this point unless you want to imagine me being ripped apart by extreme gravitational forces.

Anyway … I live on my own, and only have to be in boy mode when I go to work, or leave the house. So, once I’d decided to set Ellie completely free, and she emerged blinking into the light, there was nothing to stop me being her most of the time. I now think of myself as entirely Ellie, call myself Ellie in my head and dress as Ellie full time at home. It’s been wonderful, but I’ve also noticed some interesting differences between old me and Ellie.

Now I’m not talking about planned differences that someone might make to appear more feminine, such as deliberately altering voice, walk or mannerisms. I’m talking about changes that were entirely unplanned, and which happened organically once I’d flipped that switch in my head that signalled to Ellie that she was finally free.

So, in no particular order, here are some of the differences between old-me and Ellie:

Ellie is much more talkative and sociable than old-me. This has already been commented on at work. Old-me was decidedly stand-offish,introverted and grumpy, but Ellie (albeit disguised in boy mode) will just go up and talk to people, give them compliments and so on. Weirdly disconcerting.

Ellie is much happier in herself than old-me; I constantly catch myself smiling at my own reflection. Also disconcerting.

Ellie is OBSESSED with skin care, and has already amassed a range of moisturisers and put together a thorough skin care regime which can take up to an hour to complete. Old-me would just step into a shower and out again after a fairly half half-hearted soaping and just do a rough towel-dry.

Ellie is ALSO obsessed with her nails; not just one bottle of nail varnish but multiple shades, bottom coat, top coat, nail oil, files and buffing blocks. Where on earth has that come from?

Ellie has started EXERCISING TO LOSE WEIGHT. WTF. It’s like she’s looked at me critically and said ‘Well, buster, you’ve been in charge of this body for all these years and, be honest, you’ve let it go big time. Well, honey, time to step aside and give me a chance!’

Ellie is much tidier than old-me, and goes around collecting discarded clothes and ACTUALLY WASHING THINGS AND PUTTING THEM AWAY. Old-me never did this, at least until it reached the point where I was having to physically climb over clothes, using ropes and crampons, if I wanted to leave a room. Ellie also HOOVERS.

Ellie is particularly focused on the state of the bedroom, where she has introduced stylish wooden boxes especially for her collection of moisturisers and nail care products, introduced an incense burner and so on.

I could go on, but you get the idea. I didn’t plan any of these behavioural and psychological changes, and they’ve genuinely taken me by surprise. Ellie and I are obviously the same person, and yet we’re not. Since I’ve allowed Ellie to take over I’ve got healthier and thinner, I have better (and definitely moister) skin and nails to die for, I live in a cleaner, tidier house and I’m much more at ease with other people (especially, I’ve noticed, women). I like Ellie much more than I liked old-me, and every change has been for the better.

Fortunately, Ellie likes alcohol as much as old me, though she has an inexplicable fondness for cocktails – so I’m having to find out how to make them.

So there we are. Thoughts? What are other girls’ experiences of their femme side – positive or negative?

Looking forward to seeing what everyone has to say ...

Hugs

Ellie x

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136 Replies
Posts: 1555
Baroness
(@chrisfp99)
Famed Member     London , Kent, United Kingdom
Joined: 2 years ago

Ellie, what an eloquent and incisive post. I'm afraid that as I dress so seldom (and possibly never again), dear Chrissie has not had sufficient opportunity to put a softer stamp on rough masculine me. And if she tried I would probably resist.

Hugs, Chrissie xx.

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Posts: 543
Lady
(@gwyneths)
Honorable Member     Pittman Center, Tennessee, United States of America
Joined: 4 years ago

The world is a lesser place. Because you are fabulously gorgeous!

Gwyn

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Posts: 1262
(@bianca)
Noble Member     GB
Joined: 8 years ago

Definitely Ellie, most of what you describe I experience as well, all good, think it is why it is so liberating, intoxicating letting our femininity out to play. This weekend is my first off work in 3 months, watch out, Biancas coming out!

love it.

B x

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Posts: 1555
Baroness
(@chrisfp99)
Famed Member     London , Kent, United Kingdom
Joined: 2 years ago

That's so sweet of you Gwyn. You may be right in the hands of a skilled practitioner but you should see the car crash of my efforts at home 😂😂😂.

Hugs, Chrissie xx.

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Posts: 456
Lady
(@kerrismith)
Prominent Member     Belvidere, Illinois, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

Ellie,

When I become Kerri I am a calmer person.who is more introspective.  I enjoy the sensual feel of sheer nylons on hairless legs,  the feel of soft, full. Breasts gracing my chest.  And I imagine this could be real.  The joy is in pretending it is real for an hour or two before going back to drab mode.  Yes, I am different in girl mode and I cherish those moments.

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Posts: 928
Lady
(@wandaovahear)
Prominent Member     Washington, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

The short answer for me is “no”.

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Posts: 2
(@proudwoman)
New Member     Rockland, Maine, United States of America
Joined: 1 year ago

hi Ellie,

yes, i have too felt softer somehow. it manifests itself in being more patient, kinder. i notice it when i'm on the phone. (i have never gone out dressed.) when it first happened, it threw me for a loop. i didn't then and still have no idea why. it was so positive an effect, tho, that it may very well be what convinced to keep up dressing. when i first started getting these softer feelings, it occurred mostly when i had put some effort into dressing nicely, not necessarily sexy, but very feminine, with a bra and high heels. that softer feeling i get when dressed is among the most profound transformations i have experienced and one i cherish, to the point of having shared it with friends, male and female, who have never seen me dressed. in my limited experience and with some exaggeration, perhaps, i haven't noticed any cattiness among crossdressers. Jeanine makes me a better person every day.

greetings and hugs and kisses, Jeanine

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Posts: 588
(@heels234)
Prominent Member     Mesa, Arizona, United States of America
Joined: 9 years ago

Ellie,I can tell you for certain that Michelle is more patient than Marty when grocery shopping especially with other real ladies dufus husbands on their phones while meandering down the aisle.She drives slower than Marty,but they are both very careful drivers.Marty shops like a male,but if Michelle is shopping in Dillards,Macys or Target or WalMart its at least two hours longer.After all,you simply CANNOT leave a bargain on the shelf.HAHAHAHAHA LOL

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Posts: 58
Guest
(@Anonymous 90104)
Trusted Member
Joined: 2 years ago

Ellie, I love your post. Tamiya and I are each other’s better halves and we share many things in common. One thing I enjoy is her sense of grace and community. In addition, I noticed her drive in the kitchen. Her other half is ok, but watching her quickly, yet delicately prepare a meal with swift hands is something out of this world. Other matters around the house (the nitty-gritty dirty stuff), I’ll leave it for the mister to handle. So in essence, yes, I behave different just as you do. As I say, it’s a celebration that begins very early in the morning and ends late at night…Thanks for sharing.

Best,

Tamiya

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Posts: 4616
Managing Ambassador
Topic starter
(@ellyd22)
Majestic Member     Norfolk, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 year ago

Hey Tamilya

Glad you liked the post - it was fun to write! Isn't it interesting though that we behave differently like this? It seems to be a completely subconscious thing. Like you - I celebrate it!

Hugs

Ellie x

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Posts: 4616
Managing Ambassador
Topic starter
(@ellyd22)
Majestic Member     Norfolk, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 year ago

Hey Michelle

Love this! Interesting about the driving - I haven't noticed any difference there. Maybe I need to go for a night drive en femme and see what happens ... although I imagine I would automatically start driving more slowly and carefully in that case for fear of being pulled over by the police #nightmare

Hugs

Ellie x

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Posts: 4616
Managing Ambassador
Topic starter
(@ellyd22)
Majestic Member     Norfolk, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 year ago

Hi Jeanine

Yes - 'softer'. Sums a lot of it up. Ellie is definitely a much softer version of old-me.

And the phone thing ... I've had that, and it threw me as well! In addition to being more patient I found that I was phrasing things differently to old-me, and my speech patterns had undergone a subtle change. Weirdly, there are also words creeping in that old-me never ever used, such as 'cool' and 'awesome'. I genuinely have no idea where 'Ellie' is getting them from!

Hugs

Ellie x

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Posts: 4616
Managing Ambassador
Topic starter
(@ellyd22)
Majestic Member     Norfolk, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 year ago

Is the long answer 'noooooooooooooooooooooooooo' ?

Hugs

Ellie x

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Posts: 4616
Managing Ambassador
Topic starter
(@ellyd22)
Majestic Member     Norfolk, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 year ago

Hey Kerri

Ellie is definitely calmer than old me. I'm no psychologist, but maybe old-me always had that internal struggle going in but with Ellie it's resolved?

Lovely to hear how good Kerri makes you feel! Crossdressing is a wonderful thing.

Hugs

Ellie x

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