Do you change personality when en femme?

Yes, I do feel different. Sometimes I even “see” a woman in a mirror. It ebbs and flows. More frequently after all these years.

This may just be your expectations.  Femininity and masculinity are collective terms, based on what is normal for the culture you are in.  They are collections of look, clothing, and behaviors, not to mention our own definitions.  No one is 100% masculine, or 100% feminine.

There is no magic pill that changes you from feeling masculine to feminine.  As you said, you usually don't feel masculine or feminine, and I would say that most people (both male and female) are like that.  We feel like us.  It is our behaviors and actions that are feminine or masculine.

I may dress in a more feminine manner, or put on makeup (even if it is only a little beard cover).  I may put on a wig to change my hair.  I may change my outward behaviors (like posture, walk, voice, nonverbal gestures). But this is mostly done to fool others so that they don't see conflicting messages which will warrant closer examination.

Do I feel like a different person, with a different personality?  No.  I have had to learn new behaviors until they became second nature, and still have to think about some things (mostly holding my stomach in). I might feel comfortable, calm, sexy, or even playful, especially around other CD/TG and supporters.  This is dependent on how I'm dressed and what my plans are.

Do I feel feminine?  I feel feminine enough to fool most of the people I see.  I feel comfortable in the feminine clothing and behaviors I do.  But I don't suddenly start feeling more emotional, I don't suddenly start wanting men.  I'm still called and answer to "Dad" from my kids.

So in short, I'd have to answer no, I'm still the same person inside.

Thank for this question, I think I asked a similar one almost a year ago, shortly after coming out to my wife.

My personality does not change when I dress, I am still the same me. That said, while enfemme I am more relaxed and can focus on tasks better. I think that had more to do with satisfying my need to dress. It is the strong urge to dress that makes it hard for me to focus on the rest of life, this leads to anxiety and to me being short tempered. Once I give in to the urge all that goes away.

I hope that makes sense...

Cheers,

D.

Hello Kelly

This complex and please forgive me as I can hear everyone saying “tell me about it”😢 I am no expert but offer my thoughts.

The acts of preparing to dress is the time I subconsciously get into the zone. I just start to feel calm and somehow more resigned to my feminine side. This coupled with the anticipation re-sets my psyche in a mentally pleasurable way. When I dress or even underdress I really feel that

liberated  and released happiness. It is difficult to explain but I imagine rather like meditation. The best I can suggest is to take you time, remove distractions, take a warm bath or shower and spend time pampering yourself. Have an idea about you intended wardrobe and prepare for the day. Do not rush and allow the brain to acclimatise. Thereafter enjoy and experience total encapsulation during the feminine transformation. I am sure and hope you will experience this glorious feeling. In other words take your time. You mentioned your wife and kids, you may be feeling a bits guilty deep down. You need to enter you own bubble and then you will start to feel your fem side. At least I hope you do.

Hugs

Averyl 💋

Hi Kelly,

You bring up a good question. For me I would have to say yes, my personality does change somewhat when en femme. I think to fully embrace my womanhood, to become the woman I see in the mirror and fully appreciate her it follows that I'm not the same person I was before I put on my makeup. When enjoying several continuous days of living as a woman my priorities change, I look at and appreciate the world in different ways, more feminine ways. My stress drops, my anxiety goes back to healthy levels and I can bask in the sublime pleasure of being a woman. I am a changed human when en femme and I act and think accordingly. It's much more than the clothes, it's full acknowledgement of the woman I share this body with.

Bobbi

Hi Kelly I may not be the right person to help. Cross dressing has been a part of my life for has long as i can remember. I would love to fully transition one day but accept i may not be able to due to family concerns as you know things are always changing. I do not believe we become different people just because of how we are dressed. I do believe we express our selves differently. I feel different what i take the time to look cute and pretty. I love those feminine feelings i get when i look in the mirror and begin to see the image of a female and it confirms how i always felt about myself becomes real. I think its more the feelings change. I do notice a change in the attention i give to detail. Just doing make up and wanting colors to blend when decorating the home. I seem to be more happy and when i am happy i have more energy and have more patience when shopping. I enjoy conversations more  because i am taking the time to listen more. I guess i feel more feminine and enjoy those feelings, maybe i do change i become a better person. I become more of a whole person Thank you for the question.           Luv Stephanie

The simple answer -- yes.

Not only do I effect a much more feminine personality when dressed, but I also modulate my speech patterns and gestures.  In fact, one day I was sitting in the car with a gal pal.  She has been a strong Julie Supporter. I was in drab, and we were discussing details about an upcoming Girls Night Out. After a few minutes I started "morphing" my posture and vocal patterns into a more feminine realm.  I was just  talking about Julie. She pointed it out to me as I was unaware of it.  Needless to say that opened up a whole new area of discussion! (giggle)

Another time I had recently come out to another gal pal. She came over for a dinner to meet Julie, and after about half an hour she commented about the differences between "me" and "her".

I usually chalk it up to my being an actor and being very thorough in preparing my characters!  🙂

I had to think about this for a second.

I believe I change personalities when dressed in drab.  My " normal ' personality is to be en femme.  Honestly I quite often feel uncomfortable or a little embarrassed when dressed in " dat guys " clothes.  I have accepted it for work, but it doesnt feel natural.

Stevie

I don't know if I change or just the real me comes shining through. I look at this from the opposite end, I am Heather and I change into Bryan to be accepted as normal by societies standards. Just another take on this topic.

What a question Kelly,  I think each answer on this one is going to be as varied as the number of girls who answer, even as similar as they will be to each other.  Being Paula for almost 56 years now has made her a larger part of who I am than my maleness could ever be.  Yes, I do change some, but it is when I am getting ready for work that it is most apparent.

I do have to present as sort of macho, but not aggressively so,  as I am there to enforce and explain policy and make sure people do not violate it, for the safety of the staff and patients.  Usually once my shift is done, it is back home, about 10 minutes drive, and back into my comfort zone, which is very calming and relaxing for me once again, back to normalcy for me.

I don't have to put on the Paula disguise, but I have to get out of the security guard one to feel myself again.

PaulaF

Yes, but not because I'm dressed.

To expand on that: I behave differently depending entirely on who I am around. At work I behave one way, with family another, with friends a third, so when I dress I more or less presume that the people I would be with would expect certain behaviors and be more accepting of others. So I shift my behaviors a bit more in line with those.

So less of a change due to dressing, but because of a perceived change in my environment.

Most definitely, posture improves, (otherwise the slipping bra straps drive me nuts.. LOL) I walk differently, (that's the high heels working) hand movements change, (especially when I have false nails on) and have an overall feeling of calmness and contentment.

Not that I'm not somewhere close to that in drab, being Caty just takes it all to another higher level.

When fully made up and dressed, a look in the full length mirror just brings a big smile to my face.

The gnarly old f...........ella is replaced by a "mature" well dressed middle aged woman who tries her best to look her best and it feels lovely to have had quite a few folks here on CDH say so when commenting on my public photos

Caty

I do feel different, but not in the context of your question.  There has been a definite personality shift, but it doesn't change with my wardrobe.  In my head, I'm always Bettylou now.  It has happened over the past six months, and it's  my "other" persona who has become a CD.

.

YES,Most definitely I notice the change between Marty and Michelle.Michelle is very calm but is still self aware of her surroundings.Michelle can spend hours shopping and feels great satisfaction finding the right dress and heels.My posture changes<thanks to the high waist girdle and whatever bra I am wearing to complete the outfit>.Michelle is a very welcome break in Marty,s existence in security .