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Do you consciously adopt a "feminine" writing style here?

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Posts: 833
Baroness
Topic starter
(@alexina)
Noble Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Joined: 6 months ago

I've been thinking about this for five minutes so now I'm an expert. I've just noticed, in the past couple of days, that, when I'm writing here, it feels different. My preferred style is to entertain while I inform. I do this for my own pleasure at least as much as for any readers. Some of you have already commented positively to me about it. 

Here's the thing, I like how I write but strongly associate it with me before Allie. For some reason, that makes me feel oddly uncomfortable...why?

Disclaimer: In the grand scheme of things, this don't amount to a hill o' beans. I don't know, baked beans, kidney beans...look, it doesn't matter, it's only a saying.

It's not the language or register, I'm finding that I use "feminine" terms like soooo, my dear, honey, etc that I would never do in drab mode. Here's an example of what I mean, in a recent reply to a new member intro, I was going to write, "like sitting by the fireside with a fine brandy and a hand-rolled havana cigar" but I chose not to because, for me, at least, that's a man thing.

So, in my mind, the question is, is this style of writing appropriate when expressing feminity? 

Referring to the Disclaimer, what does it matter anyway? But, I wondered, what would I replace it with and how? And, has anyone else noticed anything different about your own writing here?

I'll leave it at that for the moment and, if any profound revelations come to me, I will, of course, share.

I welcome any and all responses, except being pelted with rotting veg.

Allie x

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Lady
(@sashabennett)
Joined: 7 months ago

Honorable Member     Wick, Caithness, United Kingdom
Posts: 294

@alexina I had never really thought about it but I think I probably do to a degree. I have noticed that I can get what I want to say across better in writing than in "real life" I have the option to consider every word & sentence before posting so I usually achieve better results. In my mind I always think I am as witty & erudite as Oscar Wilde or Stephen Fry but somehow always seem to come across as some kind of tounge tied numpty. 🤣  Maybe I should become a reclusive writer.....

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Baroness
(@alexina)
Joined: 6 months ago

Noble Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 833

@sashabennett 

I know what you mean, Sasha, I've lost count of the times that I've come away from a verbal encounter and thought, I should have said.....🙄

I've also, on the other hand, written something, deleted it, written again, deleted again and on and on, searching for the perfect phrase to express thoughts and feelings. Sometimes we just have to settle for "good enough".

Thanks for your reply.

 

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Lady
(@tia)
Joined: 2 months ago

Estimable Member     Shady Cove, Oregon, United States of America
Posts: 60

@sashabennett You and me both sister. I get tongue tied trying to speak to people. I think faster than I speak, and everything comes out mush. I've been told I should be a writer. Maybe you and I ought to get together and compare notes. :^)

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Lady
(@sashabennett)
Joined: 7 months ago

Honorable Member     Wick, Caithness, United Kingdom
Posts: 294

@tia Bit of a trek from Wick to Oregon, LOL, but I'm sure we could both tell a few tales. I always thought I had a book in me somewhere but I'm not sure I have the time or energy for such an undertaking.

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Lady
(@tia)
Joined: 2 months ago

Estimable Member     Shady Cove, Oregon, United States of America
Posts: 60

@sashabennett Writing does take a lot of time. I try always to have a small notebook that can fit in my pocket to jot down ideas whenever I have one about a person or situation. When I have a few minutes of spare time, I'll read through them and have been able to put together a couple of short stories. It is good fun even if I never get them published.

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Lady
(@sashabennett)
Joined: 7 months ago

Honorable Member     Wick, Caithness, United Kingdom
Posts: 294

@tia At the moment I am far too busy restoring what the estate agent described in the blurb as "a ruinious property" for any kind of hobby. My only release for writing is this kind of thing. Once the house is done I still have a very long list of projects I want to indulge myself with. Perhaps I'll add a book to the list....

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Lady
(@tia)
Joined: 2 months ago

Estimable Member     Shady Cove, Oregon, United States of America
Posts: 60

@sashabennett I don't ever plan on finishing all of my projects but, I figure it is better to have things to do that don't get done than to have nothing left to keep you involved.

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Lady
(@sashabennett)
Joined: 7 months ago

Honorable Member     Wick, Caithness, United Kingdom
Posts: 294

@tia I doubt I will ever get them all finished either. It reminds me of what a former boss said when I told him I was retiring. "well, what are you going to do with yourself all day if you aren't working"? Dear God, what a lack of imagination. To be fair, it was his business & he very much enjoyed the whole business thing so he probably would have been bored without it but I have enough to keep me going for decades & the list gets more added to it than finished off. Now then, back to the shed, that kitchen isn't going to build itself.

Ta Ta

Sasha

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Lady
(@tia)
Joined: 2 months ago

Estimable Member     Shady Cove, Oregon, United States of America
Posts: 60

@sashabennett I know what you mean. I've seen so many people retire and die it's scary but, like you say they didn't have anything else to do. I got one thing well started today, refinancing my house. The $255 survivor's benefit from Social Security won't go very far. I found out that my first VA loan had been closed out so my monthly payments will be almost Half of what they are now so, I will not have to move. That is something to be thankful for.

bye for now

love Tia

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Lady
(@sashabennett)
Joined: 7 months ago

Honorable Member     Wick, Caithness, United Kingdom
Posts: 294

@tia That is very good news! I can relate to paying out fortunes on mortgages. I don't know about the US market but I do know that house prices are outrageous in the UK & interest rates are pretty high too. Thankfully I paid mine off years ago. 

Hopefully you will have a bit more left for the finer things in life (dresses, shoes, handbags etc) LOL

X

Sasha

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Lady
(@tia)
Joined: 2 months ago

Estimable Member     Shady Cove, Oregon, United States of America
Posts: 60

@sashabennett I could have made it without refinancing, but now I will be much better off than I would have been. I'll pay about US$ 650. I'm not sure what that is in Pounds, but it will leave me with enough money to dress the way I want to.

Love Tia

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Baroness
(@annaredhead)
Joined: 4 months ago

Prominent Member     Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 414

@alexina I've absolutely no idea, nor have I thought about it much. In drab life, I spend a lot of time writing documents or letters that are actually rather dry and boring. Anna doesn't have to worry about such things.

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Baroness
(@alexina)
Joined: 6 months ago

Noble Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 833

@annaredhead 

Thanks, Anna, in my working life I also spent a lot of time writing. Reports, capital expenditure justifications, presentations (which were done on Lotus Freelance, long before PowerPoint!). 

My last role in the whisky bottling industry was Communications Manager and I had a ball! I insisted that exchanging information didn't have to be joyless and, best of all, I got away with it 😃

Thanks for taking the time to respond.

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Baroness
(@annaredhead)
Joined: 4 months ago

Prominent Member     Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 414

@alexina That sounds like an interesting industry to work in and good by getting to write creatively. I've friends who've worked in press offices who had fun that way at work.

 

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(@jacquelinelarkspur)
Joined: 7 months ago

Famed Member     Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Posts: 1220

@alexina 

I definitely do! In fact, as I've mentioned in a previous post, I "hear" myself and everyone on CDH in a female voice, so maybe that influences the way I write.

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Baroness
(@alexina)
Joined: 6 months ago

Noble Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 833

@jacquelinelarkspur 

That's an interesting aspect to this, it made me think. This is strange because yes, I "hear" the words as I write them but it's not my voice and I can't say it's definitely female either. I'll have to listen now while I write but I suspect that may well cause the "observer effect" and change the voice!

I'm also thinking, "That way lies madness" or maybe that ship has already sailed 🙄.

Thanks for giving my fevered brain something else to obsess about, Jacqueline, ha ha!

Xx

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(@jacquelinelarkspur)
Joined: 7 months ago

Famed Member     Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Posts: 1220

@alexina 

It's a service I provide for free!

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Lady
(@tia)
Joined: 2 months ago

Estimable Member     Shady Cove, Oregon, United States of America
Posts: 60

@jacquelinelarkspur You got that right, in my response earlier I was going to explain to you ladies how men think. Duh! When I'm on here I'm Tia even when I'm wearing jeans, a flannel shirt and work boots.

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Lady
(@sunnyday)
Joined: 1 year ago

Trusted Member     Oxford, Oxfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 53

@alexina - I definitely write in a more flirty style, and using terms like 'sweetheart', and adding a little kiss after my sign off just adds to the frisson. I wouldn't call it a feminine style though. Using flirty language feels a little slipping nylons on bare legs or attaching a suspender belt fastrner to a stocking top.

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Baroness
(@alexina)
Joined: 6 months ago

Noble Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 833

@sunnyday 

Thanks, Alli, yes, apart from here, I only add kisses in messages to my wife and daughters. But then, if I did that with my male friends, I wouldn't have any!

I've never done flirty because I've been a lifelong,  but now recovering, misogynist 😂.

 

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Lady
(@kimdl94)
Joined: 2 months ago

Estimable Member     Longview, Texas, United States of America
Posts: 60

@alexina nah, I pretty much express myself the same way, regardless of how I may be dressed or who I am communicating with.

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Baroness
(@alexina)
Joined: 6 months ago

Noble Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 833

@kimdl94 

Thanks, Kim, as I expected, there's bound to be different takes on a question like this. xx

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(@dovemtn2016)
Joined: 8 months ago

Reputable Member     Tucson, Arizona, United States of America
Posts: 160

@alexina i was told very recently that I have a feminine writing style. It made me feel great.

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Baroness
(@alexina)
Joined: 6 months ago

Noble Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 833

@dovemtn2016 

I would be pleased with that too and take it as a compliment 😊.

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Lady
(@hobby)
Joined: 7 years ago

Estimable Member     Northwest wi, Wisconsin, United States of America
Posts: 76

@alexina Yes I have and do post differently.  For me, it just seems to happen....... maybe because I am in the mode of feeling like I am a woman.  So for me, when I get into Mikki, I just seems to chat like Mikki.  There is no thought involved, it just comes out that way.  I like it.  I'm not sure I said any of this correctly, I just wrote what I was thinking.  OOPS

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Baroness
(@alexina)
Joined: 6 months ago

Noble Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 833

@hobby 

I'm not sure I said any of this correctly, I just wrote what I was thinking.  OOPS

Who's to judge what "correct" is except you? And I'm not sure why you say OOPS, unless it's an acronym I'm not familiar with?

I'm more constrained when I speak to my wife while dressed. I tend to verbalise in male mode with her because that's what she's more comfortable with and who she's been married to for 48 years so don't want to make her uncomfortable in any way. There's so many here who don't have the freedom I do and I count my blessings that she's so supportive within her limits.

Thanks for your reply though, Mikki, I really do appreciate all the contributions.

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(@dovemtn2016)
Joined: 8 months ago

Reputable Member     Tucson, Arizona, United States of America
Posts: 160

@hobby Spot on, Mikki.

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Lady
(@tia)
Joined: 2 months ago

Estimable Member     Shady Cove, Oregon, United States of America
Posts: 60

@hobby You expressed yourself perfectly. Write the way you feel.

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Duchess
(@flatlander48)
Joined: 5 years ago

Noble Member     Cathedral City, California, United States of America
Posts: 1410

@alexina No, I have never done that. Whatever I write, here, TGH, a speech, etc. is all done in the same way. It has worked for me for 75 years so I don’t see a reason to change.

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Baroness
(@alexina)
Joined: 6 months ago

Noble Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 833

@flatlander48 

Thanks, DeeAnn, I said, in another reply, that I expected there would be different views on this and there is, of course.

We all do what we're comfortable with. xx

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Lady
(@tia)
Joined: 2 months ago

Estimable Member     Shady Cove, Oregon, United States of America
Posts: 60

@alexina Yes, I consciously write from a feminine point of view when I'm writing as Tia. I would never write in drab "Hey Mike yadda yadda. Love Bob." Mike would say Hey Jack is Bob goin' candy ass on us or what. Men try to project a "manly" image. I can tell you here that I cried today over the loss of a loved one and not one of you would say get over it.

Love Tia

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Baroness
(@alexina)
Joined: 6 months ago

Noble Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 833

@tia 

Thanks, Tia. Yes, that's very like what I've found myself doing. Or, rather, when I've written something here, I'll read it to see if I sound like drab me or as Allie.

I definitely enjoy using "feminine" words and phrases and ending with hugs and kisses. I find it liberating being able to step outside the very rigid rules of male presentation that I grew up with. xx 

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(@lauren114)
Joined: 12 months ago

Noble Member     Connecticut, United States of America
Posts: 724

@alexina I hadn't really though about this but I can't help but think that it is true.  As an example, I've noticed now that the word "cute" is a mainstay in my vocabulary.   I also tend to call others girl or sister.  I'm not sure if this is happening naturally now or if it is forced here but terms like these are starting to be integrated into my thoughts which is reflective of some type of change inside me.   When I recognize this in myself, I find it to be very affirming!

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Baroness
(@alexina)
Joined: 6 months ago

Noble Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 833

@lauren114 

You and me both, sister! 😂😂 xx

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Managing Ambassador
(@LizK)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 3078

@alexina 

I never really thought about it Allie.  Does having 'girl brain' count?  I've been that way since birth and HRT made those connections even stronger.  I can say that I don't make a conscious effort to write in a specific gender at any given time.  I just write what's on my mind.

/LK

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Baroness
(@alexina)
Joined: 6 months ago

Noble Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 833

@emilyalt 

Thanks, Liz, you've pointed out unconscious bias in my question and that's something I hadn't thought about. I asked the question from my own standpoint, that of a male crossdresser with a healthy percentage of girl in the mix.

Of course there are those sisters here who, transitioning or not, are girls with some residual male in the mix so, naturally you are going to write in a female style.

See, that's another great thing about our community, we are, ostensibly, a group of and for crossdressers but look how diverse we are and how we celebrate that diversity. We should be managing the planet, we'd do a far better job!

On that note, I'll conclude my reply by quoting our Vulcan friends-to-be, "Infinite diversity in Infinite combinations"

Thanks again xx

   

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Managing Ambassador
(@LizK)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 3078

@alexina

Posted by: @alexina

I'll conclude my reply by quoting our Vulcan friends-to-be, "Infinite diversity in Infinite combinations"

I love Star Trek but never heard that quote.  Which series did it come from?

/LK

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Baroness
(@alexina)
Joined: 6 months ago

Noble Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 833

@emilyalt 

I found this which explains better than I would and even mentions the genius, Roddenberry...

We’ve each learned to be delighted with what we are. The Vulcans learned that centuries before we did.”
“It is basic to the Vulcan philosophy, sir. The combination of a number of things to make existence worthwhile.”
– Kirk and Spock, “The Savage Curtain”

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations. The basis of Vulcan philosophy. “It represents a Vulcan belief (also Roddenberry’s belief) that beauty, growth, progress — all result from the union of the unlike.” And the symbol, a triangle intersecting a circle, with a stone in the center, represents this with unlike shapes – one smooth and one angular – combining together with a gemstone in the middle, “as the union of words and music creates song, or the union of marriage creates children. The circle can represent infinity, nature, woman, etc; the triangle can represent the finite, art, man, etc.”

Allie xx

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Managing Ambassador
(@LizK)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 3078

@alexina 

Humbled.  I had no idea.  Thanks Allie.

/LK

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Baroness
(@alexina)
Joined: 6 months ago

Noble Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 833

@emilyalt 

To be honest, I don't remember the explanation being given in that episode but I must have, through osmosis and multiple viewings, picked up the gist of it.

Reading through the explanation above, isn't this part quite appropriate here....

The circle can represent infinity, nature, woman, etc; the triangle can represent the finite, art, man, etc.

So, don't be humbled, be delighted in who you are 😊 

Allie xx

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Managing Ambassador
(@LizK)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 3078

@alexina 

That description is very appropriate.  And I can assure you that every day as my authentic self is a delight! 

I was humbled because I've been a 'Trekkie' my entire life and knew nothing of Vulcan philosophy.  Such a rich franchise.

/LK

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Baroness
(@alexina)
Joined: 6 months ago

Noble Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 833

@emilyalt 

I'm determined to reach 108 so I can welcome them when they arrive here on the 4th April 2063, the day before my birthday as it happens!

Allie x

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Managing Ambassador
(@LizK)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 3078

@alexina 

I'll be past the century mark too.  Medicine is advancing so rapidly that I'd say we have a decent chance!  But our planet may need them to come sooner! 

/LK

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Baroness
(@alexina)
Joined: 6 months ago

Noble Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 833

@emilyalt 

Yeah, to the question about why we haven't been contacted by beings from another planet, my reply is simply, "If you had the technology to traverse unimaginable distances through space and represented either your own planet or a federation, then encountered us, what would you do?" 🙄

Xx

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(@jenna116)
Joined: 1 year ago

Estimable Member     Florida, United States of America
Posts: 123

@alexina I can't say that I alter my writing style when dressed.  For me, I write the same in either mode and it also doesn't change when I'm writing about CD stuff vs other topics.

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Baroness
(@alexina)
Joined: 6 months ago

Noble Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 833

@jenna116 

Thanks, Jennifer, if you've looked at the other replies, you'll see that a lot of us are very similar in that our own style doesn't change. But, we use "feminine" terms far more, or as opposed to, the ones we use with males.

Allie x

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Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 1 year ago

Famed Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2498

@alexina I wouldn't consider terms of endearment as solely feminine.

I use honey regarding my wife, but I would find it to be disturbing to use it with anyone else. And since English is a fifth or sixth language for my wife, I don't think she knows how to reply in that way yet.

So, to answer your main question, no I don't write any differently here.

 

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Baroness
(@alexina)
Joined: 6 months ago

Noble Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 833

@harriette 

Thanks, Harriette. No, I use dear, honey, darling when speaking to my wife and daughters but never with male friends.

Yes, I concluded the same thing, I do write in the same style but there's a sprinkling of terms usually associated with females, including hugs and kisses.
Fifth or sixth! I'm in awe of people with that ability, I have a smattering of school French and a tear drop of school Latin.

Allie 

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Posts: 827
Baroness
(@chrisfp99)
Noble Member     London , Kent, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 year ago

Allie, I don't think my style changes but I do get a little thrill using words such as hun, honey, sweetie, love and lovely (which in my head always comes out in a Welsh accent 😂). Not all the girls here use such terminology and I hope this doesn't make them uncomfortable. Observations welcome xx. 

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13 Replies
Baroness
(@alexina)
Joined: 6 months ago

Noble Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 833

@chrisfp99 

Thanks, Chrissie, I assume you mean only the word, lovely, in the Welsh accent? I say this because I hear it like that too, as in, "There's lovely" but not with the other words you mention.

Oddly (or not), I find,if I'm attempting a Welsh accent, it comes out like I'm from the Indian sub-continent and vice versa!

xx

 

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Baroness
(@annaredhead)
Joined: 4 months ago

Prominent Member     Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 414

@alexina I can just hear that!

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Lady
(@sashabennett)
Joined: 7 months ago

Honorable Member     Wick, Caithness, United Kingdom
Posts: 294

@alexina For some reason I always have to say gooseberry with a Barnsley accent. No idea why but "goooowsbrey" just seems better 🤣

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Baroness
(@alexina)
Joined: 6 months ago

Noble Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 833
Lady
(@sunnyday)
Joined: 1 year ago

Trusted Member     Oxford, Oxfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 53

@chrisfp99 - darling, I feel exactly the same way. Take care sweetie x

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Baroness
(@chrisfp99)
Joined: 1 year ago

Noble Member     London , Kent, United Kingdom
Posts: 827

Thank you lovely xx.

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Baroness
(@alexina)
Joined: 6 months ago

Noble Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 833

@chrisfp99 

Chrissie, I got a notification that you had left a reply to this thread but when I followed it, it was to Alli Katz. Just checking that I haven't accidentally ingested a hallucinogen! 👀

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Baroness
(@chrisfp99)
Joined: 1 year ago

Noble Member     London , Kent, United Kingdom
Posts: 827

@alexina do you remember why you went to the fridge 😂?

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Baroness
(@alexina)
Joined: 6 months ago

Noble Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 833

@chrisfp99 

As long as I can remember where the fridge is, everything else is unimportant 😄

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Baroness
(@chrisfp99)
Joined: 1 year ago

Noble Member     London , Kent, United Kingdom
Posts: 827

@alexina 😂😂😂.

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Lady
(@sunnyday)
Joined: 1 year ago

Trusted Member     Oxford, Oxfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 53

@chrisfp99 🤣 🤣 🤣

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(@dovemtn2016)
Joined: 8 months ago

Reputable Member     Tucson, Arizona, United States of America
Posts: 160

@chrisfp99 I love writing as a woman. I try to be as feminine as I can.

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Baroness
(@alexina)
Joined: 6 months ago

Noble Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 833

@dovemtn2016 

Thanks, Christine, I'm beginning to see it as akin to the nature/nurture debate. How much does the individual affect society and how much does society affect the individual. CDH being our "society".

I've mentioned it before, I see definite changes in me since joining here, thankfully for the better 😊.

 

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Posts: 1451
(@debbiedd)
Noble Member     los angeles, California, United States of America
Joined: 4 years ago

Oh yea Allie I have been using such terminology for so long as Debbie that it has slipped into my everyday vocabulary even in male mode and I dont mind. If we want to be women then expressing ourselves and actions take over. No need to worry. I say things like that outfit is super cute on you sweetie along with darlin, honey, girl,adorable or divine. Just need to be careful not to say sis when out in male mode lol

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Baroness
(@alexina)
Joined: 6 months ago

Noble Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 833

@debbiedd 

Just need to be careful not to say sis when out in male mode

So far, I've managed to catch myself before doing the same! Thanks for your reply, Deborah xx

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Posts: 824
Baroness Annual
(@finallyfiona)
Noble Member     Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Joined: 7 months ago

I ought to have something to say about this because I write a lot on here.  The problem is, I don't really write an awful lot anywhere else to compare it to, or if I do it's completely technical being in the line of software support at work.  

Allie, I also like your writing style and your mantra of 'inform and entertain' is definitely working for you.  I like to think I do similar, although my style is never as concise 😳 

I certainly enjoy using the feminine terms the same way Chrissie notices that she does.  I do notice that it's coming totally naturally to refer to anyone on here as she/her, a girl etc.  Interestingly it feels to me more like I see everyone on here as actually being a woman, than that it's an acknowledgement or mark of respect for who we all want to think of ourselves as.

Oh, and I can completely hear 'loveleee' in a Swansea accent - my OH hails from there and once taught me how to say my lines for a play that was set in the area, like I was a local.  I can still do a reasonable Swansea even now, over ten years later. 🙂

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Baroness
(@chrisfp99)
Joined: 1 year ago

Noble Member     London , Kent, United Kingdom
Posts: 827

Fiona, I for one enjoy your style of writing. You have me hanging on every word. Perhaps because you're out there being a lady and I'm not 😢. I do agree that although we're just a bunch of blokes I do naturally and completely think of all of you as fellow women. And that's how it should be xx.

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Baroness
(@alexina)
Joined: 6 months ago

Noble Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 833

@finallyfiona 

Thanks, Fiona, I agree that it has become a kind of default for me to think about us all as she/her. My wife, bless her, is very supportive of my dressing but she did pull me up once when I used the term, she, when relating a tale of a conversation here. "But this is a man you're talking about". I think she still has a concern that I'll run away to play with the big girls.

Regarding being concise, one of the best roles I had in work was training, I loved it and saw it as performance. We bought in training packages and I trained the trainers so I would take say, a 12 page section and cut it down to one or two pages for the trainers, who were recruited from the shop floor. I also remember my time as a mature student at the University of St Andrews, I was 47 when I began my degree. I was often frustrated by the way text book authors insisted on telling me the same thing umpteen times and had to work hard at filling 5000 word essays when, to my mind, I could convey the same information with a fraction of the allowed word count. 

Maybe I just get reading fatigue quicker than others!

xx

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Posts: 2696
Hostess
(@ab123)
Famed Member     Surrey, United Kingdom
Joined: 4 years ago

I try to inflect a feminine tone into my writing. I have had to write reports as a female so have practiced hard to avoid a masculine tone. In casual writing as a male when someone says something you agree with it's'Bang on' in a male way but perhaps 'Bob on' in a female tone, much softer. It  takes a lot of listening to women speaking to interpret a female tone into everyday speak and writing. 'I had a great day today' Male  'I had a wonderful day today' I believe it is a softening of text and to possibly write a bit more into the text. About the weather. 'Yeh, it rained all day today' Male 'It rained all day today but I got to wear my new raincoat, you know, the one I bought in the sales' female.

As for handwriting, mine is often commented on as being neat and I add a little flick to the letters and is easily female. 

It is a code and once broken it comes as second nature. By the way did you see that article on makeup in the papers today? I saw a lovely serum they recommended. I think Jenny uses it, I must ask her what she thinks of it. Oh and did you..........

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8 Replies
Baroness
(@alexina)
Joined: 6 months ago

Noble Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 833

@ab123 

Thanks for this Angela, it's exactly what I had in mind when I chose to pose the question and yes, I do consider the choice of words and phrases now. Another colourful and fun aspect of being a member here.

Of course now I'll be even more fastidious about my writing because I've highlighted it!

Like pointing out the endemic use of the word, So, when beginning to answer a question. I did this with a doctor who was treating my mum in hospital and the next time we met, she harangued me for it because she said that every time since, when answering a question, she could hear me saying, "Have you noticed....."

xx

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Hostess
(@ab123)
Joined: 4 years ago

Famed Member     Surrey, United Kingdom
Posts: 2696

@alexina That endemic use of the word 'So' at the start of a sentence is as annoying as 'Like' within a sentence. Probably few understand why they do it apart from it being fashionable. Do recall when the start of an answer to a question was 'Basically'....

I think the person saying it feels they are being clever as it sounds they have empowerment to give an educated answer.

I just find it annoying.

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Duchess
(@joannaberry)
Joined: 2 months ago

Estimable Member     Tamworth, Staffordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 96

@ab123 - it’s not just me who feels that way then!?😖

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Hostess
(@ab123)
Joined: 4 years ago

Famed Member     Surrey, United Kingdom
Posts: 2696

@joannaberry Not only you Allie.

In context it means 'I have something to say' That's fine if you are about to say something new, to state intention or draw attention, but if you are being asked a question and a reply is going to come 'So' isn't required, we know you are going to speak.

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Baroness
(@alexina)
Joined: 6 months ago

Noble Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 833

@ab123 

I can see why people might begin an answer with "So" to give them a few seconds to think but, as you say, it's now become a fashion. Through my anthropological lens, it's more evidence of needing to remain part of the tribe.

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Hostess
(@ab123)
Joined: 4 years ago

Famed Member     Surrey, United Kingdom
Posts: 2696

@alexina Here's an oddball possible origin. When visiting the Isles of Scotland and Scandanavia I noticed that when talking to some locals they had a habit of of taking a short sharp audible intake of breath at the start of replying to conversation. I found out that this was to say they had acknowledged your question and the answer to follow. Is this a relic of the past of the word So in conversation?

In Ireland when food was delivered to the table, the waitress put the plates down and said 'So' and nothing else. Simply a way of saying 'Here it is, why say more as you know it is coming and what you ordered, another way of saying 'Ta Daa!' The Irish use it a lot. We walked into a bar and the lady behind the counter said  'So' We were in a bar and we were going to order, why say more?

Are the origins in the U.K a mix of Gaelic and Nordic?

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Baroness
(@alexina)
Joined: 6 months ago

Noble Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 833

@ab123 

Re Irish way of speaking, I am a great fan of Father Ted, and the phrase, "Right so" is used a lot. In a similar vein, I've spent a lot of time in Glasgow and they often put the word, but, at the end of a sentence. "Going out without a coat? It's raining but" I've no idea where that comes from!

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Baroness
(@alexina)
Joined: 6 months ago

Noble Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 833

@ab123 @joannaberry 

Yes, and I know there's a bottomless pit of really serious stuff to get upset about in the world but we are who we are 😊 xx

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Posts: 1290
Baroness Annual
(@d44)
Noble Member     New York, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

My writing style has changed in two ways since I started living as Fiona.

1. Like others, I use terms like sweetie, my dear, hugs, lovely ...etc which lend a feminine feel to written communications.

2. In my business career, I was a marketer of industrial products and as such wrote press releases, articles for trade magazines, speeches, and memos to customers and field sales. As Fiona, I've had to learn to break away from this dry, technical, business type writing style to one that is much more personal which is something that was totally foreign to me as a male. I now find myself comfortably writing about my feelings, my emotions, my femininity and my personal experiences from a woman's perspective.

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1 Reply
Baroness
(@alexina)
Joined: 6 months ago

Noble Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 833

@d44 

This is the conundrum I became curious about, I have no desire to transition, I'm happy being me but more and more I find myself thinking in a similar way. As I said to Deborah, I sometimes catch myself, when in male company, just as I'm about to say something as I would here. 

I know it shouldn't matter but horses for courses applies in my real life, or as I prefer to think of as the dream world, this one here being much more fun!

Thanks Fiona xx

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Posts: 649
Ambassador
(@melodeescarlet)
Noble Member     Baltimore, Maryland, United States of America
Joined: 11 months ago

@alexina That's a good question. It's occurred to me before - 'do I write like Melodee?' 🤔 

Upon reflection, I think I concluded that being Melodee, how could I not? I don't spend much time editing my words in my head - usually how they come out is how I intended them.

Perhaps next time I'm with the girls from the chat that I've met, I'll ask them their opinions.

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1 Reply
Baroness
(@alexina)
Joined: 6 months ago

Noble Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 833

@melodeescarlet 

Thanks, Melodee.

I don't spend much time editing my words in my head

I don't when in conversation verbally but I take advantage of the opportunity to do so when writing, it's always been important to me to try to convey meaning as well as I can. It stems from my early years at high school (which I believe may be slightly different on your side of the pond), I had a couple of brilliant teachers of English. So much so that, whenever I see bad spelling or another pet hate, using could of instead of could've, it's like a dagger to my heart! 😱😂😂.

It is what it is 🙄 xx

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Posts: 96
Duchess
(@joannaberry)
Estimable Member     Tamworth, Staffordshire, United Kingdom
Joined: 2 months ago

The voice in my head when corresponding as Joanna is definitely female, using terms such as “sweetie” etc… Personally I don’t need to write anything down at length in my everyday world, so there’s quite a lot of editing even in a short reply like this one.
Spelling & good grammar are perhaps something that improve with use when writing often.(apologies for both in any reply I write)
My femme voice in the real world tends to match the one in my head, it’s quite softly spoken, not particularly high in tone, but bizarrely my accent turns into something quite posh compared to my regular male voice - figure that out - I can’t 🤭         Recent instances of my female voice being used on a daily basis are ordering coffee at my local drive through, then picking up as a drab male. I think the staff are always so busy they don’t really notice. It’s good to practice though….

Sorry I went a little off track there💕

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1 Reply
Baroness
(@alexina)
Joined: 6 months ago

Noble Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 833

@joannaberry 

Sorry I went a little off track there

No need to apologise, Joanna, digression is the mother of new thought!

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Posts: 1427
Hostess
(@cdsue)
Noble Member     Delaware, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

Interesting topic. I never thought about it before and after reading the replies I started thinking about it. I do find myself using terms like lovely, cute, hun and others. I also am more descriptive in my writing and have a tendency to be long winded. In male mode I would say I wore a skirt, here I describe it as a flowered pleated knee length skirt and may even describe the type of flower. I also go into how it makes me feel to go for mani-pedi's with my wife, spending the day dressed, how it makes me feel wearing jewelry (especially dangling earrings) and such. Things I would never discuss in male mode. I do find it hard when in the company of cis women to discuss what they are wearing except to let them know I think it is pretty but that is very rare. There are times I have felt like I would like to tell them that the sundress they're wearing looks very comfortable or that I love their shoes or earrings. While I have no intention to transition I do find myself thinking in a more feminine way. With that being said let each of us be the lovely ladies we care to be and express ourselves in a way that we are comfortable with.

XOXO
Suzanne 

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5 Replies
Baroness
(@alexina)
Joined: 6 months ago

Noble Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 833

@cdsue 

It's never been in my male nature to offer compliments, I always thought the recipient will be thinking I'm doing so because I want something.

There was one cis girl that I became platonically friendly with at college and uni, and, during a class night out I did say to her, "I LOVE your boots" and she accepted the compliment graciously but what she didn't know was that I wished I had a pair! She was also the only other person that I came close to telling about my crossdressing. 

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Lady
(@sunnyday)
Joined: 1 year ago

Trusted Member     Oxford, Oxfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 53

@alexina - I often compliment women I meet on what they are wearing. Most are OK about it but I think one or two think I'm after something. And yes, beneath it I'm thinking, "Oh my gosh, that's exactly what I'd like to wear!" I'm sure I read somewhere that it can be deemed inappropriate to compliment a woman on what she's wearing. Seems a little sad all round,

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Baroness
(@alexina)
Joined: 6 months ago

Noble Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 833

@sunnyday 

Such is the state of the world today, the actions of a few increases suspicion of everyone else!

As you say, it's sad. Another reason I'm so glad to have found this community. X

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Hostess
(@cdsue)
Joined: 5 years ago

Noble Member     Delaware, United States of America
Posts: 1427

@alexina I agree with you on that. It is unfortunate that when giving a compliment the other party can assume there is an ulterior motive rather than a heart felt compliment. Thank you fro sharing about your experience wiht your friend from colllege.

XOXO
Suzanne

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Baroness
(@alexina)
Joined: 6 months ago

Noble Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 833

@cdsue 

It's a real pleasure to share with the girls here, Suzanne 😊

Allie xx

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Posts: 532
Lady
(@lisa55)
Prominent Member     Gloucester, Virginia, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

I did tend to think and react differently when I was in fem mode. Now that I am dressing almost 24/7 I do write and phase myself differently than even before. My thought process is different. I find that my descriptive style has more of a flourish than before, that I tend to add more detail and substance to my thoughts. I have also become more complimentary than I have ever been, realizing that I too need that reinforcement and the importance of it.

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1 Reply
Baroness
(@alexina)
Joined: 6 months ago

Noble Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 833

@lisa55 

Thanks, Lisa, I am also more inclined to give compliments now, and that's something that spills over into drab mode. Being able to express my feminine side is partly responsible but the bigger influence is being able to share this part of my life here.

I love that posting a simple question here leads to discussing different avenues of life!

xx

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Posts: 934
Duchess Annual
(@firefly)
Noble Member     Panama, Panama, Panama
Joined: 6 years ago

First, I love to read you, Allie. 

About a feminine style, I have it for sure, but I don't know if I do it consciously or not. I have noticed certain peculiarities in my way of writing in Heaven. I use more words like beauty, affection, honey, etc. And of course, my cinnamon kisses. In Spanish the femininity of writing is more noticeable. If I write in Spanish "Soy una apasionada espectadora de las películas amorosas", en Inglés sería "I am a passionate viewer of love movies" what you wouldn't know if it was written by a man or a woman.

Although in Spanish the personal pronoun is dispensable most of the time, I am more aware of when I write from a feminine point of view. For me it's simple because I've done it since I learned to write. For example, Queta Marble, a character I have mentioned a couple of times. I think it comes naturally to me.

I am accustomed to varying style according to those who receive and interpret my speeches. In the end, if Gisela and my male mode have different or similar writing styles, it is not a problem. I am who I am and nothing else should matter. 

Cinnamon kisses,

Gisela Claudine.

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Posts: 833
Baroness
Topic starter
(@alexina)
Noble Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Joined: 6 months ago

@firefly 

Thanks, Gisela, I appreciate the compliment.

Yes, I mentioned in another post that Allie is spilling over into my drab life more and more which is a good thing because she's much softer and caring.

Hugs xx

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Posts: 271
Lady
(@arrevolution)
Reputable Member     Bradenton, Florida, United States of America
Joined: 3 years ago

It's normal to type more like a woman here.

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1 Reply
Baroness
(@alexina)
Joined: 6 months ago

Noble Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 833

@arrevolution 

Thanks, Julie. I asked the question because it's becoming quite normal, but new, for me too. I like it 😊

 

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Posts: 419
Lady
(@krisburton)
Honorable Member     Northern, New Jersey, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

Hi Allie and everyone:

When I first saw the title of this post, I wasn't quite sure what you meant. I've never thought of my own writing as having a gender leaning. Upon mulling it over and diving in, I find it is something I have observed in my own writing as compared to others here.  There are words that are commonly identified as feminine when addressing others - honey, sweetie, darling, cute etc,  - or a long "Awww" that I just don't use as my male self. I don't see as part of Kris' vocabulary either in person or in writing. Having said that, I do see the attraction of using such descriptions to amp up the female vibe while writing. I've considered giving it a try, and I might yet, but it does not come naturally at all.Frankly tho I still feel a bit of a fun femme jolt when using a well placed emoji

So to all - ❤️ and 🤗 !

Kris

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1 Reply
Baroness
(@alexina)
Joined: 6 months ago

Noble Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 833

@krisburton 

Thanks, Kris. Yep, you've highlighted pretty much what I had in mind when I checked my own writing here. xx

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Posts: 902
Duchess Annual
(@catgurl)
Noble Member     Marietta, Georgia, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

Among other CDs, I am conscious that my writing style is feminine.  The same goes for being physically around other CDs, such as at a support meeting or a party where CDs tend to hug each other. 

The flip side of this is, and I try to be aware of other CDs feelings, some CDs are not comfortable with being called "sweetie" or being hugged. 

As for me, I enjoy playing the part.  It all gives me great pleasure to hug other CDs, just as women greet each other with hugs.  I also enjoy the female writing style, when corresponding with other CDs.  Hey, that's part of the reason I always wear perfume. 

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1 Reply
Baroness
(@alexina)
Joined: 6 months ago

Noble Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 833

@catgurl 

Thanks, Peggy Sue, I totally get that, the huge sense of freedom and relief to be able to step outside the manacles of maledom and express ourselves more fully as women do.

Hugs xx

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