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For me, I would say these 2 or 3 events in my life were instrumental:
1. I grew up in the 70's when both women's lib was empowering women.
2. Toxic masculinity, as opposed to healthy masculinity, where the general idea of being a man was to drink a lot, get drunk, watch sports, not do anything that even remotely suggest that you were less of a man, such as talking about your feelings, not crying, doing anything at all that could be "a woman's job" etc.
3. My parents divorce when I was still a small child.
I am sure beyond a shadow of a doubt that those 3 things shaped me to having these lifelong desires.
How about you? Did anything induce your desire to crossdress as well?
The one thing that influenced me was my wife, or should I say she began and encouraged the changes.
Hi Victoria,. I don't think just one think influenced me, I just seem to be drawn to girly things, and always felt comfortable around my sister and mums femininity. My father was a hard man, cold in the affectionate department, although I knew he loved me in his own way. What you would call a Man'man..
So my passion to dress really started may be from that coldness. My mum always looked fabulous and smelt beautiful, and as my sister developed she too became more feminine, and I just wanted to emulate them I guess. I think this just triggered the feminine desire inside me to grow, and experiment with it.
It's who I am, and how I am today.
Hello Victoria-Rose
Nothing defined me.
I would have to say. I have always looked feminine. Delicate features. Growing up. I loved pots and pans. Teapots. My mother's friend lived up stairs. She had a daughter whom male me played with. Somewhere is a picture of us playing house. Husband and wife. Then the wedding. I was in the dress. I wore her communion dress.
I always felt I was born a male, but inside, was Natasha's soul. Nature for some reason really messed up. I should have been born a female.
I felt that way my whole life
So in 2003. Natasha had enough hiding. She couldn't take it no more being hid from being her true self. So, Natasha decided it was time. To finally live as Natasha. Her soul was finally free. Natasha hasn't been happier. Natasha has never looked back either. She enjoys life to the fullest. Looks at everything way differently than male me, Neil does. Natasha always tries to see the good in everything. She loves everyone. She is kind, thoughtful, compassionate, and loving to everyone. Neil could pretty much care less. Neil is like a complete opposite of Natasha.
But nothing defined Natasha. There has always been a woman inside Neil. Just that she was hiding. Well. Not anymore.😊
Hugs
Natasha💋
This is a really good question, and it's one I've always kind of wondered about myself. The earliest thing I can remember was in elementary school, when I had to play a leprechaun. My mom decided putting me in a green shirt, green shorts, and green tights was the way to go; I remember after the show, I had somehow forgotten to bring socks with my change of clothes, so I wound up wearing the tights the rest of the day under my pants.
I hid those tights in the bottom of one of my drawers, and secretly wore them whenever I could until I finally outgrew them. I was always jealous of my sister and my cousin at holidays, because they always got to wear pretty things and I had to wear pants and a tie.
I still hate ties. 🙂
Oh Celeste....you stole my line..haha, are you sure we a not twins??...smiles, grace x
I can say "no", absolutely. I was not close to my mom, had no female relatives, and when the family split when I was 6, I went to live with my dad. I had no interest in "guy" activities growing up, and was often considered to be "queer" in a time when that was a criminal offense, so I suppressed Bettylou until very recently. Now she is out, and I feel better about life then ever before.
Hard to say. Pretty early on I was very attracted to grown men (like teachers) - I had very intense fantasies as a young teen about a male gym teacher. Or I would sometimes get a crush on another boy at school.
As I was on the smaller side (still am), somehow imaging myself in the fem role thus seemed very natural.
And with that, an interest or maybe assumption that I should look more like the sexy women I saw on TV, and actively try to make myself more attractive and desirable to men.
That led to pantyhose, which felt great! And things progressed from there 🙂
In grammar school the teacher would always line us up in a boy’s line and a girl’s line to go out to the bathrooms or recess. One, when I was in 2nd or 3rd grade, day a boy in my class Who had misbehaved, was made to line up with the girls, and one of the girls, who I had a little crush on, said to him “ you’re a girl now”. It sent such a wave of electricity through me, and I was so envious of him. Also of her. I loved her little red courderoy jumper, her tights and her shiny strap shoes. That was a formative moment.
I don't think there was any one thing. My father wasn't what you would call a "man's man", he really didn't have a fatherly influence when he grew up, so it just sort of transferred downward. I was close to my mom. My mother was the more dominate parent in our house. Neither were mean or abusive to me though. I was just always drawn to girly type of things, especially clothing, I am still crazy about delicate lace items. I tried the male dominated sports, i.e. football, etc. I was an average participant, wasn't real thrilled about any of them, I was more envious of the female cheerleaders and wanted to be one. I started at a young age doing things that were considered female in aspect. I could sew (machine & hand) knit, crochet, bake, cook, etc. at an early age, and back then that wasn't considered what a guy should do. I enjoy being around females a lot more than males. I have always felt like a girl. A friend's older sisters used to dress me up in their clothes and we'd play house, or tea, something like that. It was fun and one of my fondest memories. In HS I had a girlfriend who used to like me to wear lingerie, it was a turn on for her (and me) but it was at her suggestion, that I willing went along with! I miss her...
Fabulous topic & points from you Victoria Rose , I've known from as early as I can recall that I had a female inside me , I thought this was normal , apparently it's not 😏😏😏 Tiff
At age 4 my main playmate by far was my tomboy neighbor Jean Ann with long braided pigtails. I had a gym set and lots of boy toys that attracted her every day. For young years I often daydreamed of wearing braided pigtails and skirts:
I don't know what Jean Ann daydreamed of but years later I learned that she had never married.
With me, I think the urge was always there. My earliest memory was somewhere around age three or four, getting into my mom's makeup and trying to make myself pretty. I also liked wearing her clothes and shoes.
Later, we moved, and a girl across the street began dressing me up as a girl.
A major turning point, I think, was at maybe age 10, in a Cub Scout play. I was part of a ballerina act. Professional wardrobe and cosmetic staff changed us into authentic looking little girl ballerinas, head to toe, including the heavy makeup. The clothing and makeup were a turn on I will never forget, and it permanently changed my life forever. I wanted to be pretty all the time. The adults raved that we looked like "real" little girls. It was my first time in the Pink Fog and absolutely addicting.
I can still remember, most of the boys could care less and just wanted to get out of the silly looking girl clothes, but a few of us were very strangely affected, forever.
I don't think it was one single incident that brought out the girl in me when I was young. My mom was a career waitress and when my sister and I were young, we never seemed to have as much money as other people. There was no male role model around except a few of mom's boyfriends occasionally. My sister and I had to share a bedroom until she started into puberty, and with two females in the apartment, I regularly saw both of them in their undies, and even bathed with sis until I was about 6 or 7.
I was more or less my sister's shadow, but she didn't mind. Her friends were the ones that insisted I had to be dressed like a girl to play Barbie's with them. That was really no big deal to me, so I was soon wearing a sundress, panties and sandals, and even had a blue daisy barrette in my hair. When sis had me look in the mirror, something just clicked. I knew right then, even at 5 yrs old, that the little girl in the mirror was how I was supposed to look. I took absolutely every opportunity to wear that dress whenever I could, even if I wasn't playing with my sister and her friends. We even shared her first bike, a pink Stingray with the low bar and handle bar streamers.
I always watched when her or mom got dressed or undressed, not gawkingly, but as sneaky as I could make it, to learn everything I could about being a girl. It took time and patience to learn the best I could, and it was so frustrating not being able to just shout it out loud what I knew in my heart. But I have pretty much made it, for better or worse at times, but I would never trade it, except to have been born a girl, I think.
PaulaF
I’m with you Jennifer, although there have been many little things over the years the fact that my wife supports my dressing makes me feel much more comfortable that I’m not a manly man in general.
