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Sometimes I want to dress but at other times, I just can't be bothered and have no interest in doing it at all -- anyone else find this happens to them? What do you do about it, if anything? Does it last long for you?
'Does anyone find the desire to dress wears off occasionally?'
God no. Bring it on.
I'm hard-wired for this, and wouldn't have it any other way.
For me at least, it's an ever-present joy 🙂
Ellie x
@rebeccabaxter I definitely experience lack of interest from time to time. But it doesn’t last. I don’t think the lack of interest has lasted more than a day lol.
Well, there is a clothing optional beach nearby....
Otherwise, I have my everyday casual clothes and my special occasion clothes. I'm partial to my everyday wardrobe because it's easy. Special occasions require effort and motivation. Those are in short supply around the Emily household. I'm a lazy trans girl.
/EA
@rebeccabaxter thank you for this post, it’s a great topic. While I don’t think my desire to dress ever goes away my energy to do so does as many have expressed. Personally I have an all or nothing attitude towards dressing and that takes a level of work I don’t always have the patience or energy for and after a couple of days of applying making and shaving I find myself wanting a break but I still think about being “her” longingly. So I guess it’s kind of a complicated situation. Ty again Becca for a thought provoking post.
@rebeccabaxter Its odd most of my life it's always been there the past year ive been able to explore alot more and spend more time fully dressed so I have less to fantasize about and now I feel like im forcing myself at times. but once I get started Im happy I did. also my daydreams are more difficult to enjoy Im not sure why. I still have my Amazon list ready for my next River time but im not as obsessed as usual as of lately. no Idea why. Cheers RC
@rebeccabaxter Hi, Becca, that's an interesting question and one that's likely linked to reasons and opportunities to dress.
I certainly have times when I don't feel the inclination to get dressed, in fact I was thinking about a very similar question. I'm sure that I've had some covid-related awful since last October. It's like bouts of heavy cold every few weeks. Anyhoo, the point is, when I feel really bad, I'm pretty much exclusively in male mode do I hear whispers of "man flu"?
The full, what a shame for me stuff, and I don't think about dressing.
I also have the freedom to dress, mostly in the evenings cos of stuff to do and the possibility of my daughter dropping in. So, I don't have to grab any chance like I've had to do in the past before The Talk.
There have been a few occasions when I've thought, will I, won't I? But, when I've decided yes, I will, I've been glad that I did.
Of course, now that I'm talking about this.....
Allie x
@alexina hope you're feeling better overall 👍
Interesting comment though when I'm flu laden for comfort all I want to do is snuggle up in my fave lounging gear or leggings and fleecet top aka dressed
@kayt Hi, Kay, thanks for your good wishes. I remembered yesterday that I have a bag of dried white horehound so I made an infusion with the addition of fresh ginger and have been taking a small cupful every few hours. Nothing short of miraculous!
@rebeccabaxter In my case I’m more the opposite. I have the urge to dress more often and find it feels natural to be doing so. My wife says I get grumpy when I don’t get to dress.
@rebeccabaxter Yes it does. Sometimes life just gets in the way or time is limited. Mentally though it is always there.
This used to happen to me, but it doesn't any more.
As my dressing is attached to working, I just get dressed for work, and so it's just become the norm. I still have to make a conscious effort though, as I have to wait until my wife has left the house.
There are days of course when you just can't be bothered about anything, but on those days I tend to just dress more casually, so leggings or jeans etc.
@rebeccabaxter Not all that much anymore. I dress frequently now and have more of an everyday look so it isn't as much of an effort as compared when I used to dress less frequently but to the nines. This isn't to say that I don't love to get really dressed up once in a while. This girl loves her dresses and heels!
@rebeccabaxter I use to look forward to being able to dress up when ever I could. But now that Lisa is one with her wife I dress all the time and dislike those moments when the male in me must be exposed. For years I hid away inside my soul. Now that I’m a free it is hard to go back! I sure we all have days, just like our GG’s, that when they are sick could care less about dressing up, but only stay in joggers and tee! No, I never get tired of it.
Yes. It happened to me ariund christmas time. All interest gone. Cerys had a busy time leading up top christmas. Lots of events, a work party where I introduced Cerys to work), and various over really nice events that I was seriously looking forward to. A night out with old friends just before christmas and then wham. No desire to be Cerys at all. I posted about it on here. It appears I burnt out. Confidence also went out the window. It took a while to get Cerys back. I did have to coax her, but she's back now. Confidence is still not quite at the level it was, but I'm 95% there. I can't explain the lack of confidence. I'm normally very confident as Cerys. Maybe it was the confidence going that stopped Cerys coming out to play? Anyhoo, She's back now, and I'm happy with that!
Over the 4 decades that I've been a crossdresser, the mood has gone a few times. It doesn't last long.
Sometimes, I can't be bothered. Cerys takes time and effort. I might want to be Cerys, but I rerally don't want the hassle of deciding the outfit, and going through the performance of creating cerys. Cerys has to be perfect. It's not just throwing on a dress. It has to be the right dress. Then the jewellery has to be right. Then the make up..... Sometimes, Cerys is just too much hard work 🙂 🙂 🙂
I only work 3 days a week. Monday to Wednesday. Tomorrow is Thursday. The plan is to get up, shower and shave, and bring Cerys out until Sunday night..... I might wake up, and feel it's too much hassle. I hope not. I do enjoy my 4 day Cerys periods. 🙂
Short answer to your question.... Yes, I think it happens to most of us.
Cerys
Cerys has to be perfect. It's not just throwing on a dress. It has to be the right dress. Then the jewellery has to be right. Then the make up..... Sometimes, Cerys is just too much hard work 🙂 🙂 🙂
Exactly, I get nothing out of just throwing on women's clothes; if I'm going to it, I'm going to do it properly. I really don't want to be 'a bloke in a dress', there has to be a [large] element of doubt in an observers mind when I go out: 'Is that? Hmm, not sure.' That's probably the best I can manage given my height and build.
@rebeccabaxter For me the summer months I'm happy as my "norm" self and with the light nights the oppertunties for Elaine to show up deminish.
Not saying its not thought about, just the drive is suppressed until the Autumn again.
@rebeccabaxter to or not to, quit or not quit , quit is impossible,once in the family always in the family
@rebeccabaxter My desire to dress ebbs and flows, usually inversely to how busy / stressed I am with work. I normally find dressing to be a way to relax, decompress from the week’s stresses. There are times when the work load just gets to great and I lose the desire. I know things are really stressful when I forgo any of my daily grooming activities. After the stress is gone, I get back into dressing. I think my last non-dressing period was about two week long.
@rebeccabaxter Yes, I have had that happen from time to time. Usually it's from other things happening that I'm focused on. My thoughts and desire to dress seems to fade into the background. How long it lasts seems to vary, and it's not based on anything I'm doing or where I am.
I will suddenly, out of nowhere get the urge to wear silky pantyhose and heels. I can try to ignore it, but it becomes like being thirsty or hungry. It's not going to go away until you satisfy it.
So, as soon as I can, I slip into some pantyhose and heels. I'm feeling the pleasure and bliss. Might as well go the rest of the way. I put on my bra, slip in my breastforms, and put on a dress and wig. Now I'm feeling great. I'm a girl. I'm wearing pantyhose and heels. I have sexy legs, nice breasts and pretty hair. I'm feeling satisfied and fulfilled.
@rebeccabaxter there was a time but today, I never dress without some fem clothing. I’m always in polish, panties, bra, earrings/studs. I don’t think I even own men’s underwear. If .I do, I have no idea where it is. I remember going through highs and lows that lasted maybe up to two weeks, but the sight of high heels usually took care of that. Lol
Hi Becca. Absolutely happens to me. I've had "downtimes" last anywhere from a few months to almost a year. At times I thought about getting rid of my girl stuff but I'm glad I haven't because the need to dress always comes back! Somehow the urge to shop for clothes never takes a break though. HaHa!!
💖Lola
It happens to me all the time. I've taken several online personality tests all saying my personality is almost exactly 50% male and 50% female so I guess it's no suprise
Becca, I'm in a slightly different position. I am only able to dress very occasionally and don't have any girly clothes. I have 10 days to myself in May and have been so much in the pink fog trying to choose some outfits. I'm just finding that it all becomes a bit overwhelming, so then I find I can't be bothered to think about it for a few days. I mean this is serious stuff. I have a spreadsheet! I've chosen most items (makeup, nail polish, jewellery, bra, tights, stockings, OBG, couple of wigs) but I want a couple of nice dresses and I'm thinking an age-inappropriate short pink skirt with a white lace blouse and high pink heels. It's mainly the dresses and shoes I can't decide on, with an extra requirement that I need fast delivery (so reluctantly mostly Amazon).
And actually although I have this period after a wait of almost a year, I probably won't dress every day. Additionally I have another minority interest that I'll spend a day on 😏. First world problems eh!
Hugs, Chrissie xx.
For me the desire comes and goes, depending on stress or how hectic work or my life in general becomes.
For me it’s not the desire that wanes but my lack of make up skills and my sometimes facial hair that I find frustrates me and not being able to look wholly like Lauryn defeats my desires to dress. Something I am working on.
I don't think the desire ever lessens for me. But sometimes life just gets in the way and since it takes quite a bit of planning and timing to make it happen, I may not feel like making the effort. Right now I am in a bit of a drought due to circumstances, but I have some travel on the horizon and I know without a doubt I will make the most of it since it will be much easier.
Denise
❤️
There is a little supply and demand thing going on with me. When my chances to dress are few and far between, I can't wait to do it. Now that I've had a few days to myself to dress as I wish, I'm struck at how much work this can be at times. It's also frustrating to know I have so much still to learn about make-up in particular.
It has never worn off. I have had to go further underground at times to hide evidence. But the desire to wear women's clothes has always been with me. That feeling is always present in good times and bad.
I get dolled up maybe 3-5x/month, but for me that's the whole kit and usually because I'm going out. I very rarely get dressed now and stay in - mostly only if something new has arrived and I want to check the look/fit.
I feel like having my outings spread over the month keeps the desire strong - always looking forward to the next time. Disclaimer: I'm fully aware that I'm a PT CD and I can see that being TG the desire to dress in a way that truly represents how you feel wouldn't ever seem to fade.
It sure does for me. I don’t get to fully dress up much if at all and really am only able to underdress. My biggest thing is when I am underdressed or actually able to wear women’s clothing, I feel like I am not being fair to my wife and son as far as being an “ideal or regular” husband/father. Which then can lead to long breaks
I have days where I don't feel like dressing. In fact today is one of them. Admittedly, I have a lot on my mind and am feeling a little tired today. When my thoughts are preoccupied or I am run down I can't be bothered with any of the things that I enjoy (this includes other hobbies that I participate in as my male self).
While I don't feel like dressing today, I am here browsing around the forums and still looking forward to my next "Sophie time". Dressing as my feminine alter-ego still is exciting to plan and think about even if I haven't got the physical energy to do it.
For the last year, I have been heavily involved in my wife's healthcare, and that has reduced my opportunities to crossdress. My desire to crossdress is ever present. Thus, eventually, I must find an opportunity to crossdress for my own health reasons. My spouse understands this.
OTOH, in times past, when I had unlimited opportunities to crossdress, I would find myself wanting to take some time off from crossdressing. This behavior was most likely a reaction to all the preparation work that goes into becoming a female for a day.
Like Melanie said. Sometimes I lack the energy to dress, the desire is there and I still feel female but I sometimes don't feel like taking the time it takes to become me.
I love it. I agree with many of you. Above all, I have a masculine part. And a wife who doesn't accept it, sometimes Carla can't handle it. But suddenly a pink dress and high heels 👠 make me feel empowered again.
