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does being a cd change your view about people and things?

30 Posts
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78 Reactions
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Posts: 296
Lady
Topic starter
(@prettytoes)
Prominent Member     alfred, Maine, United States of America
Joined: 2 months ago

before i became a cd i had less feelings about people and other things. i didn't care much about people of other races, what women go through and feelings. don't know if because i'm a cd or just getting older. i think it about being a cd. ever since i became a cd i understand women and treat them better. i have and know a lot of people of different color and races. i get along with just about anyone when in cd mode. i shed tears whenever something is sad or someone does something really nice for someone else. even at the movies i can shed a tear if some kid is going to get killed or someone falls in love. has your cd'ing changed your life for better or worst?

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29 Replies
12 Replies
Managing Ambassador
(@lizk)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 3850

@prettytoes 

I can't say it has because I'm trans.  I was born this way.  I've always felt empathy for other people.  That's especially true for disadvantaged and marginalized groups. 

What has changed is the depth of my empathy for others.  Being on HRT has a lot to do with that.  Being OUT and a member of the trans community plays a big part too.  I feel a connection with my trans brothers and sisters that affects me to my core.  

Liz xx

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 Erin
Princess
(@erinb)
Joined: 5 months ago

Noble Member     Ohio, United States of America
Posts: 1164

@prettytoes not much changed except I would want to dress more physical and emotional no I dress for the fun and wildness in me I’m a closet dresser so I usually wear more unusual clothing and heels the fun and suspense of transforming is beyond words can speak but understand you thoughts indeed 

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Managing Ambassador
(@ellyd22)
Joined: 2 years ago

Majestic Member     Norfolk, United Kingdom
Posts: 5204

@prettytoes 

I can't say it has because I'm trans.  I was born this way.  I've always felt empathy for other people. 

Same here. I'm always ready to put myself in someone else's shoes, think about things from someone else's perspective or help someone if they're in trouble. I'm good at listening, but I easily get caught up in other people's emotions. And I'm perhaps rather too ready to forgive at times.

I don't know if that's anything to do with me being trans ... there are probably way too many other factors at play. Also, empathy isn't exclusively a feminine trait. I've met many straight men who've possessed it in spades, and a number of women who would trample all over someone if it helped their own ambitions!

Ellie x

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(@rebeccabaxter)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 1312

@prettytoes Yes. Since I started cross-dressing some 16 months ago, I have found I am much more tolerant of all things previously outside my sphere of interest. I do have a much greater interest in women's rights and in the trials and tribulations of transexuals and non-binary people.

Before becoming a cross-dresser, my opinion was that if you were born with a penis you are male, and if you were born with a vagina, you are female, and no matter what you did after that, your birth gender could not change, no matter the surgery; I realise now that is not necessarily the case (intersex people being only one example). Having said that, I do not agree with post-pubescent men having sex changes then competing athletically against genetic women, that's just not fair.

I've always tolerated homosexuality—my own son is gay and has been since his puberty, some thirty years ago—so perhaps my tolerance levels have been quite high anyway.

I don't cry at movies—or rather, I do, but no one has ever seen me do it, nor will they.

I don't really feel angry anymore.

How much of the above changes in me have come about because I started cross-dressing and how much is because I stopped drinking alcohol, I can't be sure (although certainly the anger thing was alcohol-related). Perhaps it's just because I've become old and wisdom and tolerance come with that.

Becca

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Lady
(@krissykitty)
Joined: 10 months ago

Estimable Member     Ohio, United States of America
Posts: 57

@rebeccabaxter You are.

Right on that's exactly how I feel.Wow what a great response to a great subject
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Duchess
(@reallylauren)
Joined: 3 years ago

Noble Member     Victoria, British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 1227

@prettytoes I am, like Liz, a trans woman, born as an intersex female. I have always been, since a young child, as far back as my memory goes, what some would call an emotional wreck! 

I can easily be brought to tears by music, by love scenes in movies, and just by memories and thoughts from my past.  I can't watch violent movies, I love chick flicks, happy endings will always win me over!  I am very empathic, have actually been called a natural empath, as I can easily sense the feelings and emotions of those around me, which can actually be painful and quite emotional at times.

Hugs,

Ms. Lauren M

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Ambassador
(@alexina)
Joined: 1 year ago

Illustrious Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 2182

@prettytoes 

I've lost count of the times that I've said how much I've changed since accepting and embracing Allie. I'm happier with myself than I've ever been and that has, in turn, increased my compassion for others. This would not have happened had I not found and joined CDH.

I've always been accused of having empathy and compassion but that was because the people doing the accusing "didn't really know me" 😂. All the years I was denying this feminine part of me, I had low self-confidence and little or no self-worth. 

Now, of course, I'm brim full of confidence and will soon take my rightful place as Supreme Empress of the Universe 😊.

Allie x

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Lady
(@prettytoes)
Joined: 2 months ago

Prominent Member     alfred, Maine, United States of America
Posts: 296

@alexina like the positive attitude. no risk, no gain. when they tell you it can't be done, just laugh and prove them wrong.

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Baroness
(@annaredhead)
Joined: 11 months ago

Famed Member     Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 1813

@prettytoes I have always worked in a very multicultural environment and I would probably be considered "woke" before the term existed.

I have a core belief in tolerance, support and acceptance of diversity.

Harder for me is that I have known about Anna for 40 years and suppressed her most of that time as I have always thought most people would not accept Anna, hence keeping my Anna side very hidden until I was in my 50s. Even now, Anna is mostly under wraps.

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Ambassador
(@gafran)
Joined: 9 months ago

Noble Member     Warner Robins, Georgia, United States of America
Posts: 1126

@prettytoes 

 I think CDing is a mellowing experience to say the least! 

 It does enforce my live and let live philosophy!

So overall Yes it does change things!

 Fran 🥰 

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Duchess
(@rebeccaoh)
Joined: 7 months ago

Estimable Member     Oxford, Ohio, United States of America
Posts: 77

@prettytoes I feel similar I think but not just because I’m a CD. I’ve felt much of the same empathetic feelings I have today for much of my life. It’s only been since I accepted myself as a CD that I have felt comfortable to allow myself those feelings and to show them sometimes. Therapy, life experiences and things like that along my CD journey, have meant that I try to never look down on people or judge them harshly. I know I personally have no room to talk when it comes to societal norms or expectations, so why should I judge others. Based on that, it seems like my feelings just shine through more these days, which I’m happy about:) Especially as a Cis man raised to never show emotion and to never trust others.

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Lady
(@joannajoy)
Joined: 2 months ago

Reputable Member     British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 204

@prettytoes Hi Rachel!! I find myself much more tender hearted, more nurturing in my relationships. I never have been mean or a bully,or had a bad temper,  but I feel more kind, easier going. I’m more emotional at times. Stuff that shouldn’t bother guys… because they don’t have feelings or show emotions, get to me… I’ve taken those online quizzes … the ones that ask you a bunch of questions , and tell you if you think more male or female, and I usually score 80 to 90% female… jo

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Posts: 73
Lady
(@nataliecd)
Estimable Member     Minnesota, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

It is honestly pretty hard to determine how much my dressing or nonconforming gender expression has to do with my depth of empathy. I started dressing at a younger age and I never really felt like any people in the world were "wrong" to express themselves a certain way. I like to think that without dressing I would have matured into a well-adjusted adult who accepts all kinds of people either way. But I think being part of a marginalized group certainly helps in that regard.

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Posts: 1793
Baroness Annual
(@d44)
Famed Member     New York, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

All my life I felt that my emotions and reactions to things were more like a female would feel and react than a male would. I certainly had male feelings but the feminine feelings were the more prominent. 

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Posts: 31
Duchess
(@bbwmeganlynn)
Trusted Member     South jersey, New Jersey, United States of America
Joined: 11 months ago

I have tried to look at things differently.I am more calm for sure.Always been a Republican and that will never change.I really don’t identify with trans issues or pride stuff.I respect others views just don’t care to be bothered.I just try and live my life my way.

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3 Replies
Lady
(@kendra2024)
Joined: 1 month ago

Estimable Member     Chicago, Illinois, United States of America
Posts: 58

@bbwmeganlynn Your story sounds similar to mine. I'm doing this for my own reasons; I don't "trigger" and I don't believe in forcing people to play along. That said, the women in my orbit seem to want to play along; they say Kendra is more outgoing and fun than the alternative...I'm finding it's a fascinating "deep dive" into social science...I always joke about the line from Star Trek: Going where no man has gone before Laugh Cry

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Duchess
(@gracepal)
Joined: 5 months ago

Noble Member     South Carolina, United States of America
Posts: 1017

Posted by: @kendra2024

@bbwmeganlynn Your story sounds similar to mine. I'm doing this for my own reasons; I don't "trigger" and I don't believe in forcing people to play along.

I like your comment Kendra. CD’ing is indeed a fascinating social experience - even if you only get out as far as CDH🥰

I like to  think that most people view themselves as open minded “live and let live types.” Without any labels. But boy, you start to voice a few opinions nowadays, that tick certain boxes in people’s heads - and it’s not long before you find yourself in their discard heap.

GP

 

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Duchess
(@gracepal)
Joined: 5 months ago

Noble Member     South Carolina, United States of America
Posts: 1017

@bbwmeganlynn Excellent take Megan, could not agree more 😊

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Posts: 2101
Hostess
(@cdsue)
Famed Member     Delaware, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

What an interesting question.

I would have to say that since coming out and acknowledging my CD'ing I am kinder and gentler. I spent most of my life suppressing any emotions that could have been construed as feminine. When I described things they were nice never pretty or beautiful and shy away from anything that gave the appearance of being feminine. After retiring from the military I became a nurse and this caused me to be a bit more empathic and compassionate. I became more aware of female issues (hard not to when you work with predominately women). Since coming out I find myself being more emotional and sensitive, I will cry when watching movies though I still try to stifle it. I'm more aware of people issues (how others are treated) and more tolerant of others. I'm not sure how much of that has to do with age and how much has to do with CD'ing or a combination of the two. I do know that I feel better about myself and am enjoying life more.

XOXO
Suzanne

PS - by the way chick flicks are more fun to watch when you're not trying to be macho and let your true feelings out - my wife and I enjoy watching award shows and critiquing the outfits on the red carpet 

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6 Replies
Duchess
(@gracepal)
Joined: 5 months ago

Noble Member     South Carolina, United States of America
Posts: 1017

@cdsue What I have noticed since resuming Grace is that when I pursue my “bro-culture” hobbies -its with a renewed fierceness. And competitiveness. I’ve always felt that crossdressing balances out one’s macho side of life. At this point in time it’s truer than ever for me. I’m now retired. Feeling that I’ve already won the game of life, my formerly trivial pursuits have moved up to become primary pursuits that I enjoy. Crossdressing and playing competitive sports. Two opposite ends of the spectrum for certain. And yet, I want to win at both of those now. In the past I didn’t care too much about them as I was busy competing in life. Now I can relax and concentrate on them more than I ever could while still working.

GP

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Duchess
(@gracepal)
Joined: 5 months ago

Noble Member     South Carolina, United States of America
Posts: 1017

And Suzanne, almost forgot to mention that yes, watching chick flicks is a bit easier to take when dressed. But even then -one can only stand so much of the same exact plots over and over. Then they have to reach for some “bro-culture” titles🥰

GP

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Hostess
(@cdsue)
Joined: 5 years ago

Famed Member     Delaware, United States of America
Posts: 2101

@gracepal all very good points - it's kind of funny I haven't pursued any of my other hobbies since Covid shut down - during the shut down I stopped any outside activity and since things opened up haven't taken the time to restart them - other things have taken priority and what little time I have is dedicated to dressing- I also play guitar and do some diamond dot art work - I've competed in the past but don't have much need for it now except maybe an occasional poker game.

Good luck in your competitive endeavours.

XOXO
Suzanne

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Lady
(@kendra2024)
Joined: 1 month ago

Estimable Member     Chicago, Illinois, United States of America
Posts: 58

@gracepal I recently checked the "chick flick as a chick" box. Left the theater with tears streaming down my cheeks 😭 🤣 But it was a good movie, called "We Live in Time"

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Lady
(@caligirl)
Joined: 3 years ago

Estimable Member     Colorado, United States of America
Posts: 85

@cdsue As I was reading your response, I thought, Yes Yes, that is exactly how I feel. I mean to a tee, military, more in touch with my feelings and seeing / feeling what others feel. And yes again, we have a girls night where we watch so called girlie movies, last week " Hope Floats " Thank you Kathi Pride Heart

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Hostess
(@cdsue)
Joined: 5 years ago

Famed Member     Delaware, United States of America
Posts: 2101

@caligirl thank you Kathy - "Hope Floats" is a good movie - haven't watched it for awhile though

XOXO
Suzanne

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Posts: 1017
Duchess
(@gracepal)
Noble Member     South Carolina, United States of America
Joined: 5 months ago

Good topic Rachel. Personally, I don’t think being a CD changes my view on things overall. I DO think that when you’re dressed as a lady, part of the “act” is portraying yourself as more sensitive to things. Gives you carte blanche to be emotional and more understanding -if you will. Maybe shed some tears that you wouldn’t if you were in male mode.

I’m an empathetic person to start with and in Grace mode I suppose that trait is more suitable. I used to have girlfriends tell me I was “too nice.” Friends too. I don’t think being “too nice” is a bad thing in any persona. I try to stay in touch with my feelings because those are usually the best judge of people. Go with your gut feelings - as more often than not, they’re right. And you’re right that getting older adds to the equation. Everyone gets mellower at some point as they age.

I do believe all people have male and female traits within them -whether they admit to it or not. CDs are just more interested in exploring those dynamics than your average “Joe Six-Pack”.🥰

GP

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Posts: 478
Lady
(@cherylt)
Prominent Member     Honesdale, Pennsylvania, United States of America
Joined: 6 months ago

I think that because I've been dressing for so very long I've always felt for others and their plights. I always tried to show kindness to others in the hope that I would receive the same, especially when I presented as Cheryl.

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Posts: 77
(@mirandam)
Estimable Member     Bay Area, California, United States of America
Joined: 3 months ago

Rachel great question!

my thinking doesn’t change too much when out as female because I have effectively the same personality male or female.  My female expression is in a way an extension of who I already am.  Ok in male mode I dont wear high heels … but I tend to treat people the same way.

 

in short inside the same person, but some of my expressions change.  for example I love to compliment women I meet.  But as a male I’m a little careful as to not give the wrong impression.  As a female I do it way more to women …. But not to men. 

Heart Laugh Loud  

 

 

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Posts: 1451
(@finallyfiona)
    Leighton Buzzard, Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 year ago

I can't really talk about any difference in my outlook between being dressed and being in male mode, as I don't really do male mode any more (the occasional 'Fiona in boymode' doesn't really count).  My personality is as it is, all the time.  I do know my attitudes towards a lot of things have changed over the years, I'm way more understanding and respectful of differences than I used to be - I certainly couldn't do what I'm now doing with the attitudes I had even twenty years ago, when I was already supposedly 'adult'.  Although I think of my shift into femininity as being quite a recent thing and somewhat surprising for it, maybe I've been on this road for a lot longer than I realise.  I definitely had a long way to travel from where I was, that's for sure.

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