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Does crossdressing run in the family?

38 Posts
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Posts: 260
Lady
Topic starter
(@geniv_cd)
Reputable Member     Minneapolis, Minnesota, United States of America
Joined: 8 years ago

I have often wondered if anyone here has a son, nephew, or grandson who is also a crossdresser?

if so, do they know about you and if they do, do you dress/do things together en femme?

 

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37 Replies
7 Replies
Lady
(@jillannquinn)
Joined: 4 years ago

Noble Member     Reno, Nevada, United States of America
Posts: 627

@geniv_cd I don’t know if my brothers or my dad cross dress or ever have, but I doubt it. My son has a lot of my personality in him but he also takes his cue on being “a real man” from his maternal grandfather. That means that he kills smalls birds and lizards that he has no intention of eating (at least he use to when he was a boy) voting strictly republican, and disliking or even hating people of color.

With all that said, I doubt he would ever cross dress, or if he did, he’d keep it hidden from everyone. Because of his current mindset, I can’t tell him about Jill as he’d most likely disown me as his dad and that would crush me immeasurably.

Hugs, Jill

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Lady
(@sf)
Joined: 3 years ago

Prominent Member     SoCal, California, United States of America
Posts: 370

@jillannquinn ????  Hmmmm, Interesting reply ??????

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Lady
(@jillannquinn)
Joined: 4 years ago

Noble Member     Reno, Nevada, United States of America
Posts: 627

@sf what do you mean?

Jill

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(@hottestwitch)
Joined: 3 years ago

    Leicester, Leicestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 614

@jillannquinn Finally getting round to looking at all this:  sorry I've been so lazy.  I find this to be an interesting answer, seeing as when someone takes such a "macho", testosterone ridden view of the world, it tends to tell me that they may be over-compensating and... yup!  A quick look in the back of the cupboard will reveal a mini skirt, tights, panties and a few selfies whereby Harry has become Harriette...  On the other hand, Jill is still his dad - whether Jill is Gillian or Gilbert; it's up to you whether or not to tell him the deep, dark secret, but I'm sure he will still love you...  Holly XXX

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Lady
(@jillannquinn)
Joined: 4 years ago

Noble Member     Reno, Nevada, United States of America
Posts: 627

@hottestwitch I’m sure he will still love me, but I’m also sure he would have nothing to do with me for a very long time. As smart as he is, he lets his grandfather and his mom do his thinking for him.

Jill

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Managing Ambassador
(@lizk)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 3855

@geniv_cd 

I really doubt it.  None of the males in my immediate or extended family have ever given a hint of being anything other than straight cis-gendered guys.  My sister and a few cousins know about me.  The rest will figure it out if I don't tell them first.  I've been on HRT for 32 months and get gendered female often.  Boymode is very difficult at this point. 

/EA

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Guest
(@Anonymous 95775)
Joined: 10 months ago

Trusted Member
Posts: 59

@geniv_cd My father secretly cross dressed, late at night, when drunk. I only heard him, never saw him, but learned more in my late teens from my mother. This was the 1970s in a conservative area. My mother was terrified and so was I. I moved away in ‘85 and buried my concerns and thoughts. Dad passed in 91. 

When my sexuality expanded along with my worldview, I shrugged it off. It wasn’t until five years ago that I discovered I loved wearing my wife’s panties. It’s grown from there, bringing me here. 

is there a generic connection? Or some kind of psychobabble about wanting to be like my father, subconsciously? I believe it’s neither. I’ve always had a feminine side and I’m learning to enjoy it. 

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Posts: 508
Lady
(@kerrismith)
Prominent Member     Belvidere, Illinois, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

I don’t have a son.  I do have a daughter.  I don’t know if my ex told her about me.  I don’t think crossdressing runs in families.  My own brother is very transphobic and even though I love him, I would never tell him about my little hobby.

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Posts: 59
Guest
(@Anonymous 95775)
Trusted Member
Joined: 10 months ago

Well, funny you should ask. My son said he was “gender dysphoric” and I didn’t want him making major life irreversible decisions while he was going through puberty so I told him about me in confidence to illustrate the very many paths on this journey. 

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Posts: 508
Lady
(@kerrismith)
Prominent Member     Belvidere, Illinois, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

Wow Sheryl, that was very brave of you.  How did your son react?

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Posts: 59
Guest
(@Anonymous 95775)
Trusted Member
Joined: 10 months ago

Well, actually he was pretty non-plussed about the whole thing. I have found this generation takes all things gender very much in stride. He’s a very good kid and he would have taken any advice from me with or without that information, but I felt like he might be more open to talking to me about it all if he know I had 1st hand experience. And it worked because he does. No matter what’s going on with me in my life, I have to be a father first. 

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3 Replies
Managing Ambassador
(@ellyd22)
Joined: 2 years ago

Majestic Member     Norfolk, United Kingdom
Posts: 5210

@sheryl321 

Sheryl - I love this.

Heart

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Guest
(@Anonymous 95775)
Joined: 10 months ago

Trusted Member
Posts: 59

@ellyd22 Thanks Ellie! You’re very kind

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Managing Ambassador
(@ellyd22)
Joined: 2 years ago

Majestic Member     Norfolk, United Kingdom
Posts: 5210

@sheryl321 

How could I not love something that included this?

No matter what’s going on with me in my life, I have to be a father first. 

Hugs

Ellie x

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Posts: 2034
Baroness
(@ryanpaul)
Famed Member     Outer Eastern Suburbs Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
Joined: 7 years ago

I have two daughters and aside from them wearing women's jeans,pants or leggings, that's as far as their "crossdressing" goes

However, my mother was a very zany character and would do things at the tender age of 75plus, like putting on a schoolgirl uniform, curly black(cheap) wig, flowery tights and a garter on her leg and sip on a "stubby", (aka small bottle of beer).

I've often wondered if I inherited her "penchant" for dressing, albeit as Caty and not as some kind of male version. EG Clown or Hobo. (I;d like to think I would not..  make a good hobo..)

 

Caty.

 

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Posts: 59
Guest
(@Anonymous 95775)
Trusted Member
Joined: 10 months ago

Oh, and by the way, I believe dressing as a woman DOES run in the family! I got it from my Mother!

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Posts: 864
Baroness
(@chloec)
Prominent Member     Lakeshore, Michigan, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

Hmm, I can't say for sure that it doesn't run in my family as I don't believe any of my brothers 'indulge' nor my sisters - all married to the opposite appearing sex. My adult children all appear pretty straight, two married with children, and the third is very much into their own sex, as far as I can tell. My several grandchildren also seem to be not into it.

However...I have several pictures of my (our) father who at about age 7-9 was dressed up by his older sister (+2 years). And it's appears 'Dad' took the pictures. Now, 'Dad' being my grandfather was heavily involved in his college theater group (very similar to Harvard's Hasty Pudding Club), was President his senior year, and appeared in a college production as a chorus girl - I've seen his picture in costume used as an example of early 1900's college theater in a fairly viewed publication.  My father I don't think appeared on stage but he was heavily involved and was VP his senior year. 

As an aside, I really did not know about all the above for years as my grandfather died in his 40's before I was born and my father died accidently when I was 4. I did appear in 2 college plays and was 'heavily' involved in community theater for a number of years before I found out about the above. President for a year, did lots of backstage stuff, and on stage in 5 productions but only in male drag, as it were. 

So, does crossdressing run in our family? From an outsider's (and fully not understanding) view, maybe? In reality? I don't think so, but I can't be sure.

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Posts: 140
(@gisellereeves)
Estimable Member     Oshawa, Ontario, Canada
Joined: 3 years ago

great question Genni I know my father was a roughhouse type of man and I don't think my two adult sons are into crossdressing.

I certainly hope it is just me as it is a tough life and a very lonely one!

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Posts: 4015
Lady
(@harriette)
Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Joined: 2 years ago

My main family is / was all male, except my mother (the grief that she must have gone through with 3 sons!) and, now, our daughter.

Except seeing a 1926-7 picture of Dad as a baby in a white dress, there is no indication of anything else going on. If anyone of us was going to be out of the ordinary, it would be me. 🥳

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3 Replies
(@hottestwitch)
Joined: 3 years ago

    Leicester, Leicestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 614

@harriette A really interesting question - and this seems to be the most appropriate answer for me to reply to.  I never, ever thought my father may share my interest:  yes, there were a couple or three times when he would come into my bedroom and I'd suddenly panic because I'd left a skirt or a pair of tights on the floor - not so obviousy that he couldn't avoid them, but as he said nothing then maybe he had an idea about me?  I have seen, however, a picture my grandparents would have taken of him in the very late 1920's where they had put him (aged less than 2) in a dress... or at least what I thought may be one?  It never "clicked" until my son was born and (against my staunchly atheist views) he was baptised - when my mother prepared a (very beautiful) little robe for him that really, really looked like a dress.  Hmmm... Overall, I don't really think that this is a matter of nuture over nature - but I don't think the nature reverts beyond anyone's birth. My view - no, it's not genetic - but I think there are so, so, SO many more of us than are usually suspected that it's not unusual for father/mother/son/daughter to share our prediliction.  Holly XXX

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Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 2 years ago

Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 4015

@hottestwitch It was fairly common around a century ago to dress up baby boys in white dresses. At least all of the baby pictures I saw like that had them in white frilly dresses, but not all were. A quote that I found...

"So why were little boys wearing dresses until the early twentieth century? One reason may have been practicality. It is much easier to change a diaper with a dress than pants and during potty-training it would be easier for the child who didn't have to fumble with button closures on breeches."

I will defer to them, since I wasn't there.

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Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 2 years ago

Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 4015

Posted by: @hottestwitch

I think there are so, so, SO many more of us than are usually suspected that it's not unusual for father/mother/son/daughter to share our predilection.

This is my opinion, too. Because so many crossdressers are closeted, who knows what the real number of us there are?

 

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Posts: 1458
(@finallyfiona)
    Leighton Buzzard, Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 year ago

Posted by: @harriette

If anyone of us was going to be out of the ordinary, it would be me. 🥳

That's pretty much what I said about myself in a post on another thread 🙂

I'm the only one in my family that I know of.  Pretty sure from his reaction to my coming out that Dad never did, and pretty sure that my son isn't inclined either, although in the manner of his generation he totally understands gender positions other than the usual binary. 

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1 Reply
(@finallyfiona)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Leighton Buzzard, Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 1458

Actually, I've just been to visit my son today for the first time after coming out, and you could say I learned that the tree doesn't grow far from where the apple fell, as it were 🙂  Very pleased to find that we definitely have more in common than I had imagined!  We are likely to be a lot closer with each other in the future now.

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Posts: 59
Guest
(@Anonymous 95775)
Trusted Member
Joined: 10 months ago

I always wondered about an uncle in our family.

He kept his nails perfectly manicured and painted with clear coat.  Also, his hair had a grey streak in it that had to be professionally dyed in, and his hair was perfectly maintained.  Interestingly, he was very familiar with female fashions too. 

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Posts: 760
Duchess
(@jennconn)
Noble Member     Florida, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

I’ve often wondered if there is a genetic component to our crossdressing.  I believe we may be pre-programmed at birth.  Some is latent, and some blossoms and is acted upon.  But I do know that I have a niece that is trans, if you can call it that at 13.  I also believe that everyone has a desire to dress as the opposite sex at some time in their life, just out of curiosity.  Especially males, I mean who wouldn’t be curious about all the female clothing options available to women and just how they feel.  

But,I don’t think that any of my male relatives have a tendency to dress, but they could be like me, and nobody would know or guess.

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6 Replies
Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 2 years ago

Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 4015

Posted by: @jennconn

I also believe that everyone has a desire to dress as the opposite sex at some time in their life, just out of curiosity.  Especially males, I mean who wouldn’t be curious about all the female clothing options available to women and just how they feel.

An interesting thought. I wouldn't say every male has these thoughts. Some males can be pretty toxic.

 

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Guest
(@Anonymous 95775)
Joined: 10 months ago

Trusted Member
Posts: 59

@harriette Here’s a little reckless amateur psychology.  Many of us experienced some intimate early childhood breast exposure that influences us still today.

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Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 2 years ago

Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 4015

@trudi The only time that I saw my mother's breasts was before I was a teenager. She bent over to kiss me goodnight. She was as flat as a board, not inspiring in any way at all. 🫣

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Guest
(@Anonymous 95775)
Joined: 10 months ago

Trusted Member
Posts: 59

@harriette I used to eat three meals a day there although I really don’t remember.

Eventually that truth was something that was rather embarrassing.

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Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 2 years ago

Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 4015

@trudi Get'em while they are young. 😋

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Duchess
(@missylinda)
Joined: 2 years ago

Noble Member     Ft Worth, Texas, United States of America
Posts: 848

@jennconn could not agree more!  I think conservatively, 100% of all males have thought of trying, and at least 50% have done it at least once. 25% want to but are scared off for one reason or another ,  and for the rest of us , the pull is to strong to resist.

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Posts: 326
Lady
(@splitdecision)
Honorable Member     Doylestown, Pennsylvania, United States of America
Joined: 4 years ago

Hi girls

i dont know if it runs in a family gene wise. 
but nice always felt that I was predisposed to cross dressing. My interest in lingerie goes back very early in my life. With it being some of my earliest recollections. 
I do believe they my second son now in his late 30’s may crossdress or has a lingerie fetish. There was a few instances at home where I knew for sure he tried on my ex wife’s lingerie. My ex also found a number of panties hidden in his bedroom. She tried to claim they were mine but I never hid anything in his room. I though maybe they were from his girlfriend but the more I though about how I hid panties when I was his age the more I realized they were his. One time I came home early and walked into our bedroom to find his mother lingerie drawer open and some items on the bed. He was the only one home. Realizing what was going on I went back downstairs and out into the back yard . I made some noise so he would know where I was. 1/2 hr latter I came back upstairs to find the lingerie put back in her drawers. We had a brief awkward moment later. But I never said anything to him but I knew how he was feeling. I’d been there at his age. After my divorce from his mother he decided to stop all contact with me. I feel some of this stems from his crossdressing but I’ll never know. 

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Posts: 485
(@justnikki)
Prominent Member     Seattle, Washington, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

The very idea that there might be another crossdresser in my family is laughable. My family was so mired in toxic masculinity that I was the black sheep simply because I wore my hair long and preferred to live with my mother. My SOB paternal grandfather always called me his granddaughter because of my hair, my older brother was my first bully, and while I never doubted that my dad loved me I was a father myself before my dad saw me as a whole person. I can't imagine what would have become of me without the countervailing influence of my paternal grandmother who was my sole model of unconditional love growing up. Her quietly insistent defense and protection of me probably saved my life. My brothers don't know about me, and never will because we have never been close. Given their casual racism and homophobia over the years, it's a non-starter. 

Tl;dr... not In my family!

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