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Back in the late 70's and early 80's when I was dressing up in pantyhose, skirts, heels, lipstick and eyeliner and heading to a disco that catered to LGBT people, I was also balancing the thrill, excitement, passion, and discovery with guilt, fear and self-loathing. So I bought the textbook to a second year sociology course that had a chapter on "transvestites". It included a very damning description of crossdressers and contributed significantly to my self-loathing. It also said that the desire to crossdress diminishes with age. Sadly, I found that claim to be comforting. When I got married and shared my feminization desires with my wife, I told her I thought it would diminish and I think she probably got some comfort from that. Then when we had kids, it actually did diminish - perhaps because raising kids is exhausting, and perhaps because it is human nature to put your kids' needs before your own.
But now my kids have moved into their own apartments and my desire to wear tights, heels, lipstick, eyeliner and dresses has really intensified. I joined this website a couple of weeks ago because my feminization desires were re-awakening and ever since I have dealing with very strong urges. I decided last night that I was going to stop at a drugstore on my way home from work today and buy a couple of pairs of tights - so that is all I could think about all day. I was on a conference call this afternoon and talking about an important business proposal - but all I could think about was "should I get two pairs of black tights, or should I get a pair or red or purple tights to go with the black ones?"
I am wearing a pair right now - and wow was it wonderful to pull them up my legs. Of course I had to put on some heels and run to the mirror. Am I coming home? Maybe - I am not sure yet. Thankfully I got used to wearing platform shoes in the 70's so returning to heels was more about reviving muscle memory than it was starting from scratch.
I am 59 years old, I was a crossdresser over 30 years ago then I stopped - AND NOW? WOW DO I LOVE DRESSING UP IN TIGHTS, HEELS, DRESSES AND MAKEUP
So for me - the old sociology textbook was wrong - the desire to feminize did not diminish - I either returned with a vengeance or maybe even intensified.
I dont know where this will take me - but it will be an intense and wild ride.
How about the other girls on this site? What is your experience?
As I get older, my desire to feminize definitely intensifies. Up until recently, I was in a long term relationship with a woman. However, mostly due to my job, Lisa and I broke up. During that time with Lisa, I often would wear Lisa's panties, bras, lingerie, bikinis, etc....But Lisa never knew. At least as far as I know. Once Lisa and I ended our relationship, I was able to relax and let myself be the person I want to be. This includes allowing my feminine side to open up more. I have found my desire to wear panties, bras, bikinis, pantyhose, fishnet outfits, dresses, and other outfits has increased. However, my collection of clothing is quite thin. Due to a permanent leg injury, wearing high heels is not possible. As it is now, I have walk with a cane and leg brace. I look forward to purchasing more clothing. I really want breasts! But for now, will just enjoy what I can wear.
For me it has increased. I am in my late 60s now and want to dress every day. My wife works away from the house and I work from home. So I get over 6 hours a day as my femme self. And the desire increases. Underwear is not enough. It does for when I go into town. I too dream of having breasts. Breast forms don't really do it. I thought that it would diminish with age and stopped for ten years. Three years ago I bought a pair of panties. And I was back. Suddenly I had that wonderful aha feeling. Squishy inside. Now I have skirts and tops and blouses, bras, panties of all sorts, dresses, etc. But all of this is done alone.
I turned 52 yesterday. The desire dropped for a few years but it came back with a wallop. Fortunately I found a crossdressing service run by a wonderful woman who looks after me in those "wallop" moments.
Thank you for sharing your story. I'm not sure if the desire intensifies as much as we desire to be truer to ourselves. I too, "paused" in my crossdressing for some time after a new marriage and a kid. But, as I get older I get tired of pretending. I love embracing my feminine side. I don't feel the same shame I used to. It's part of who I am and part of who I've always been.
Happy birthday, Amanda! Hope you had a fantastic day!
As the years past and I got more free time I dressed more, taking time to look how to apply makeup, tried lots of wigs, etc just got deeper into my new life style.
Rachel
I would certainly agree that the older we become, the more we embrace our inner beauty. I have been dressing off and on since I was 12 and I am now 35. I wear pantyhose and panties all the time and LOVE IT! I am currently attached to a woman but if I ever become single I tend to believe I would certainly take it to the next level. Shave my body from head to toe and experiment more freely and intensely!
I think we get tired of pretending; we realize life is short; we realize be truevto yourself, accept your self
find someone who loves you for you
if you are not true to your SO
are thet really loving you;are you loving you
are you free?
just recently out to my wife
