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Does your attraction change when you are dressed

143 Posts
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Posts: 112
Lady
Topic starter
(@carloscloset)
Estimable Member     Colorado, United States of America
Joined: 4 months ago

Hello all,

Do you find that who you are attracted to changes when you are dressed?  In my male mode I'm really only attracted to women, but when I dress I feel a physical attraction to women, other dressers and even some men.  When it comes to emotional attachment, I'm definitively only interested in women or other CDs.

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142 Replies
43 Replies
Lady
(@emily2626)
Joined: 3 months ago

Trusted Member     Louisiana, United States of America
Posts: 39

@carloscloset Such an interesting question.  I am definitely more attracted to men when dressed.  When not dressed, I have no interest at all, fully attracted to women.  We are such a complex group...and I wouldn't change it for the world!

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(@carloscloset)
Joined: 4 months ago

Estimable Member     Colorado, United States of America
Posts: 112

@emily2626 The variety of opinions and experiences is what makes a group like this so powerful

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Lady
(@sunnyday)
Joined: 2 years ago

Estimable Member     Oxford, Oxfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 139

@carloscloset - I don't think it changes when I'm dressed. However, I'm more receptive to approaches by men (not all men) when I'm dressed as I consciously want to act out the feminine role.

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(@lauren114)
Joined: 2 years ago

Noble Member     Delaware, United States of America
Posts: 1209

@carloscloset I'm Bi so my attraction varies with the person.  Having said that, I do go through periods of time when I am more attracted to one gender than the other.  I can't really say definitively since it depends on the person but I would see myself being more inclined to be in a long term relationship with a woman.

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Duchess
(@liza4you)
Joined: 2 months ago

Estimable Member     MICHIGAN CITY, Indiana, United States of America
Posts: 73

@carloscloset Mine does, but I have kind of a naughty mind....

 

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(@carloscloset)
Joined: 4 months ago

Estimable Member     Colorado, United States of America
Posts: 112

@liza4you So I'm not the only one here with a naughty mind ... cool!!!

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Lady
(@krissykitty)
Joined: 10 months ago

Estimable Member     Ohio, United States of America
Posts: 57

@carloscloset me either!

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Lady
(@krissykitty)
Joined: 10 months ago

Estimable Member     Ohio, United States of America
Posts: 57

@liza4you i also jabe a naughty mind when dressed lol I think of the extra parts us girls have no guys per se just extra parts

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(@Anonymous 100087)
Joined: 2 months ago

Reputable Member
Posts: 304

@carloscloset I'm not interested in men when I'm not dressed. when I'm dressed i am interested in both or a cd. gay guys just don't interest me. lesbian women do. i guess i consider myself as a lesbian. its hard to find a good looking woman over 45 that isn't already taken. men are ok but try to find one that will go out in public with a cd is like trying to teach a rock how to swim. i sometime wonder how many people have seen me dressed and have had some sort of fantasy thoughts about me. i meet a lot of people when I'm dressed. i have had both women & men say i look nice even Tho im not totally passable.

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(@carloscloset)
Joined: 4 months ago

Estimable Member     Colorado, United States of America
Posts: 112

@prettytoes Finding people to go out with is a challenge because of fear of rejection.  I know that because for many years that was me - I was attracted and aroused by trans women and CDs yet I was not able to accept it. Now that I'm more experienced and self assured I would not be as worried about it, but I'm married and not able (or interested).

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(@Anonymous 100087)
Joined: 2 months ago

Reputable Member
Posts: 304

@carloscloset I wouldn't say my attraction changes. Brie is just as attracted to women as I am. But when I'm dressed, I do like the idea of getting male attention. It helps me feel more feminine when I know I've turned a head or two!

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(@carloscloset)
Joined: 4 months ago

Estimable Member     Colorado, United States of America
Posts: 112

@brieanne I know I have never turned a head, most likely because I have not been out much, and I don't wear makeup or a wig.  But it is good when you know another person has been attracted to you

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Managing Ambassador
(@lizk)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 3859

@carloscloset 

I'm trans so there's that.  I won't be limited by the artificial boundaries that labels impose.  Love is love.  

/LK

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Lady
(@emily2626)
Joined: 3 months ago

Trusted Member     Louisiana, United States of America
Posts: 39

@carloscloset Am I attracted to men when dressed?  No.  Am I attracted to men ever? No.  Do I fantasize about being dressed and taken by a man?  Always.  Such an interesting question and difficult to explain.  Our attraction to being feminine is so hard to explain, yet so real.  For me, I am always striving to take Emily to the next level of feeling girly, whether it's buying new things, having an Emily day at the spa and salon, wearing girly scents....But the thought of being treated like a woman in the bedroom by a real man would likely be top of the mountain.  I guess I'm a bit bi curious!

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(@carloscloset)
Joined: 4 months ago

Estimable Member     Colorado, United States of America
Posts: 112

@emily2626 I agree with you that our feelings and attractions are complicated, sometimes seemingly contradictory, and full of surprises

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Lady
(@jancardi)
Joined: 1 month ago

Trusted Member     Alloa, Clackmannanshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 18

@emily2626 hi Emily , I can totally relate to this , when I’m dressed I feel so very submissive and fantasise  about a man treating me sexually like a woman, I don’t get turned on by men but it’s strange how this feeling comes over me when I dress or I am out and feel feminine

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Lady
(@amandasdream)
Joined: 5 months ago

Estimable Member     Brookfield, Illinois, United States of America
Posts: 98

@carloscloset 

One thing my life has taught me, all attraction is fluid. From the straightest of the straight to the freakiest of the freaks, it’s ALL fluid.

And circumstances make ALL the difference!

I began as a solidly straight cd. Then, kinda found trans women attractive. Then, some were damn hot! Before I knew it, I found myself desperately wanting to s…

Well, needless to say, it escalated pretty quick. The more comfortable I get with those thoughts and feelings the more they work their way into my daily consciousness. 

My daily life, I feel like a half burned lump of coal dragging my sorry butt around.

But dressed up, or even thinking about being dressed up, sets my insides on fire with a passion and energy I just don’t have any other way. Including sexually. 

All these years, it has excited me and scared the living hell out me at the same time. It gets more and more powerful too and I STILL haven’t given in to it. But want to sooooooooooooooooo bad. I think if I ever do, the rest of the mental blocks will break away once and for all and Amanda would be out to stay. 

Now one could ask, if I had not lived so alone for all these years and allowing room for this to creep in, would it have? 

well, in my case it would have. This has been a part of me for my entire life. I still remember as a young child wishing on a shooting star that I would be transformed into a girl. 

But I don’t believe, I know, that sexuality is not something as “fixed” as people like to think it is. And that thought alone just feels so much more right to me. 

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Lady
(@joanarbour)
Joined: 9 years ago

Reputable Member     Missoula, Montana, United States of America
Posts: 169

@amandasdream you so beautifully expressed what many of us feel, and perhaps we are frightened of. Thank you.

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Lady
(@michellebbb)
Joined: 3 months ago

Active Member     Paradise v, Arizona, United States of America
Posts: 10

@amandasdream wow so nice. Love what you said . Sounds perfect 😍

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Lady
(@michellebbb)
Joined: 3 months ago

Active Member     Paradise v, Arizona, United States of America
Posts: 10

Yes sometimes it does change as to curiosity and why not try😍😋

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Lady
(@krissykitty)
Joined: 10 months ago

Estimable Member     Ohio, United States of America
Posts: 57

@amandasdream yes!my journey has been the same way as I'm married forever.  The trans girls did it and started the adventure yep its so fun being like this it is kinda scary too thinking about those extra parts some girls have scared at first but over time it's been a big desire

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Duchess Annual
(@robertaf)
Joined: 5 years ago

Noble Member     Louisiana, United States of America
Posts: 1062

@amandasdream Like anyone else, you probably have a good idea what you are looking for. You just haven't met the right person yet.

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Lady
(@amandasdream)
Joined: 5 months ago

Estimable Member     Brookfield, Illinois, United States of America
Posts: 98

@robertaf  I’m looking for a unicorn and I know it. I made the choice long ago not to involve myself with anyone who would not accept this part of me.

Then again, haven’t met any I felt I could tell either. When I was younger, it was easy! Girls that wanted to dress me up found me. 

Perhaps I should have trusted more in the fact that I did tend to attract girls that liked dressing guys up. 🤷🏻‍♂️

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(@jerryn)
Joined: 3 years ago

Estimable Member     Michigan, United States of America
Posts: 120

@carloscloset I think I am mostly straight, and I have an accepting girlfriend, but I would like to experience going on a date with a man and getting to do all the things that women get to do.

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Ambassador Editor
(@shelli)
Joined: 5 years ago

Eminent Member     FRANKLIN, Tennessee, United States of America
Posts: 17

@jerryn Feel exactly the same way!!! Heart

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(@carloscloset)
Joined: 4 months ago

Estimable Member     Colorado, United States of America
Posts: 112

@jerryn Whoever takes you on a date is a lucky fellow!

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Lady
(@joanarbour)
Joined: 9 years ago

Reputable Member     Missoula, Montana, United States of America
Posts: 169

@carloscloset amen to that sister!

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Lady
(@kiaja)
Joined: 1 year ago

Eminent Member     Charleston, South Carolina, United States of America
Posts: 13

Getting makeup perfect, the perfect  outfit -sexy but not slutty and going on a date with  man who appreciates you for the effort made to please him would be so exciting. To be wined and dined and dancing ---one can dream  

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Duchess
(@vimi)
Joined: 2 years ago

Trusted Member     Trivandram, Kerala, India
Posts: 81

@carloscloset When I am dressed I like to be with a girl most of the times and play lesbian. Recently, I am also thinking of other CDs to play. I am a bit worried to think like this.

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(@carloscloset)
Joined: 4 months ago

Estimable Member     Colorado, United States of America
Posts: 112

@vimi Why does it worry you?

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Duchess
(@vimi)
Joined: 2 years ago

Trusted Member     Trivandram, Kerala, India
Posts: 81

@carloscloset This is one of those things.

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Lady
(@michellebbb)
Joined: 3 months ago

Active Member     Paradise v, Arizona, United States of America
Posts: 10

@vimi its great to experience once may decide like it even more

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(@geniv_cd)
Joined: 8 years ago

Reputable Member     Minneapolis, Minnesota, United States of America
Posts: 260

@carloscloset For me personally, my dressing evolved over time from wanting to look as female as possible to wanting to be as female as possible, I wanted to look, act and think the way a woman would and like and do the things a woman would, including attracting the attention of a man. Life circumstances made me single and therefore free to explore many things that previously my life situation did not allow. Genivieve was allowed to come out in a sense, and she was free to explore what the world of womanhood had to offer. I began to go out in public more often as Genivieve day or night and did most of the things that a woman might do. I shopped for everything from bras to overcoats, visited a nail salon, had makeovers and here is where I am going with this. I attracted the attention of a male admirer. This for me was a very intense and completely femininely affirming experience. A simple drink at a bar led to being asked out on a date. The dating experience was out of this world fun and I found myself doing everything I could to enhance my femininity in order to attract and excite him. This was of all my experiences while out en femme the most intensely satisfying of them all. Am I attracted to men when en femme? Definitely! That said, I have never had any attraction for another man while in drab, conversely, when en femme I am not attracted to other women. Not sure what that makes me, but  that is me. Wink  

 

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(@carloscloset)
Joined: 4 months ago

Estimable Member     Colorado, United States of America
Posts: 112

@geniv_cd Thanks for sharing your experiences - and glad you are enjoying your time as Genivieve!  Your guy is a lucky guy!

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Lady
(@katey)
Joined: 4 years ago

Prominent Member     Massachusetts, United States of America
Posts: 774

@carloscloset Katey is alive in me all the time, with that in mind, I see the world as Katey now although I’m not attracted to to all men I definitely look at some men and let my thoughts go wild. I do have a strong attraction to other CD’s

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(@carloscloset)
Joined: 4 months ago

Estimable Member     Colorado, United States of America
Posts: 112

@katey That is cool!!  Certain people definitively get my thoughts going!

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Duchess
(@hiddentruth)
Joined: 1 year ago

Trusted Member     Taylor, Michigan, United States of America
Posts: 29

@carloscloset Hi Everyone, I have found that as the years have gone by and I have dressed more often that I have become more attracted to other CD's and men. Crossdressing has always had a sexual aspect to it, from the the first time I dressed in my Mother's undergarments as young to this day, I always become sexually aroused when I am dressed in femme.  More and more often my fantasies while dressed in femme involve being submissive to other CD's, men and women.

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(@carloscloset)
Joined: 4 months ago

Estimable Member     Colorado, United States of America
Posts: 112

@hiddentruth We have a lot in common ... CDing for me also has a very strong sexual component

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(@kimberlyannvictoria)
Joined: 3 years ago

Honorable Member     milwaukee, Wisconsin, United States of America
Posts: 482

@hiddentruth I understand the feeling

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Duchess
(@melaniew)
Joined: 2 months ago

Trusted Member     South Glamorgan, United Kingdom
Posts: 28

@carloscloset Late to this but what a great topic. 

Yes, it changes everything for me if I'm expressing myself as Melanie. I'm much more entertained and flattered by male attention than I would be as a man. It's never gone further than accepting a drink but I do find myself looking at guys in a different way. More than anything, I find other crossdressers very attractive, whether I'm dressed or not, but I only ever imagine being together as girls. 

In that sense, perhaps I contradict myself. I'm always Melanie in my mind, my preferences, desire, sexuality is always the the same. Dressing allows me to express and sometimes realise those things.

 

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(@carloscloset)
Joined: 4 months ago

Estimable Member     Colorado, United States of America
Posts: 112

@melaniew I don't think you contradict yourself.

I will borrow from the some Native American tribes.  According to Wikiopedia "Two-spirit (also known as two spirit or occasionally twospirited)[a] is a contemporary pan-Indian umbrella term used by some Indigenous North Americans to describe Native people who fulfill a traditional third-gender (or other gender-variant) social role in their communities.[2][3][4][5])". 

 

In my mind, many in our community would align with this definition.  

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Lady
(@scottyjane)
Joined: 1 month ago

Trusted Member     Inverness, Caithness, United Kingdom
Posts: 31

@carloscloset Hmm, interesting…

I love the attention I get from men when I am dressed, am I attracted to them? Well, it depends on the person. Equally, a GG can also grab my attention and attract me. I guess that I’m just a bit of a mixed up bi soup!!🤣🤣

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(@carloscloset)
Joined: 4 months ago

Estimable Member     Colorado, United States of America
Posts: 112

@scottyjane I do believe that attraction is usually a one-on-one phenomena.  

 

Based on your reply I think I should have said that when I'm dressed I will be open to be attracted to males (at least to some degree).  As of today, me in my male persona, I might be attracted to the sexual satisfaction they could theoretically provide, but that's about it.

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Posts: 521
Ambassador
(@beach-girl)
Honorable Member     United States of America
Joined: 7 years ago

Not much, but more so than in the past.

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Posts: 2075
Duchess
(@rozalyne)
Famed Member     Shrewsbury, Shropshire, United Kingdom
Joined: 3 years ago

Hi Carlos, 

No my attractions don't change when I'm dressed you see I'm Bisexual I'm attracted to men and women the same, it would be nice to have a big strapping man on my arm when I'm all dressed up in my finery, with a beautiful dress and all my makeup on and take me dancing or to a nice restaurant for a meal, 

Hugs Roz X 

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6 Replies
Duchess
(@liza4you)
Joined: 2 months ago

Estimable Member     MICHIGAN CITY, Indiana, United States of America
Posts: 73

@rozalyne Well said!

 

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Duchess
(@rozalyne)
Joined: 3 years ago

Famed Member     Shrewsbury, Shropshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 2075

@liza4you 

Thanks very much Liza, I've been dressing since i was young but i didn't know that i was Bi till i was in my 20's , that's another story for another time, 

Hugs Roz X 

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Lady
(@joanarbour)
Joined: 9 years ago

Reputable Member     Missoula, Montana, United States of America
Posts: 169

@rozalyne I can’t imagine a man who would not want you on their arm.

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Duchess
(@rozalyne)
Joined: 3 years ago

Famed Member     Shrewsbury, Shropshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 2075

@joanarbour 

Thanks very much Joanar, all i need now is a nice hansom man to take me dancing, 

Hugs Roz X Smile Thumbs Up  

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(@carloscloset)
Joined: 4 months ago

Estimable Member     Colorado, United States of America
Posts: 112

@rozalyne That would definitively be fun!

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Duchess
(@rozalyne)
Joined: 3 years ago

Famed Member     Shrewsbury, Shropshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 2075

@carloscloset 

Oh yes lots of fun, 

Hugs Roz X 

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Posts: 115
(@shelly-lynn)
Estimable Member     Grand Rapids, Michigan, United States of America
Joined: 7 years ago

Over the years my attraction to men has grown when I am dressed. Whenever I see a nicely dress man who is well kept I do find them attractive. When a person that has a great personality that is more important to me rather than their sex.

 

Heart

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Posts: 19
Lady
(@barbz)
Trusted Member     California, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

I have found that while I am dressed as a woman I am more attracted to a man. If I get another mans attention I feel that I am more feminine in my presentation.  I was once at a Lesbian bar chatting with another attractive lady when a guy walked up and asked me to dance.  I immediately went out on the dance floor with him and gave him all my attention. For me I wanted to impress the guy with my feminine attributes more than the girl that I was talking with.

 

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2 Replies
Duchess
(@hueych53ch46)
Joined: 2 years ago

Trusted Member     Beach park, Illinois, United States of America
Posts: 63

@barbz way cool 

I have dreams about that 😄 

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Duchess
(@liza4you)
Joined: 2 months ago

Estimable Member     MICHIGAN CITY, Indiana, United States of America
Posts: 73

@hueych53ch46 I think that's pretty common admitted or not..

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Posts: 1341
(@rebeccabaxter)
    Cornwall, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 year ago

Er, no. I seem rather attracted to myself though and tend to look in mirrors a lot when out shopping Cute .

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2 Replies
(@caroline2k)
Joined: 2 years ago

Noble Member     Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Posts: 618

@rebeccabaxter Haha! Yes, I know what you mean.

Sometimes it could be considered borderline sexual harassment and stalker behaviour! 

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Lady
(@krissykitty)
Joined: 10 months ago

Estimable Member     Ohio, United States of America
Posts: 57

@rebeccabaxter I like you are in love with my girl self,I feel in love with krissy but she does wonder what if

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Posts: 3446
Hostess
(@ab123)
Illustrious Member     Surrey, United Kingdom
Joined: 5 years ago

No dressing doesn't change my preferences. Obviously others that know me have asked the question when coming out as part of them looking for a reason. I have questioned myself in the past while doing my own reasoning and see from any topics on this question that others do too.

It could be that dressing also brings out an area of sexuality that was suppressed or evolves as part of the crossdressing.

It is complex as is most things but we are such a diverse group that no real rule applies to all.

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Posts: 1742
Duchess
(@alison-anderson)
Noble Member     Middlesex county, New Jersey, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

Not at all.

The woman who did my makeover would always call me Alison, even when dressed in male mode. When I asked her why, she asked me, Is your wife/sister/mother still your wife/sister/mother when not wearing any makeup? The implication is that I am still the same person.

I could ask a similar question. Is <name a GG in your life> suddenly attracted to women in skirts or dresses when she is wearing pants? Asked that way, it is pretty absurd. I know that some crossdressers want to validate their femininity by being able to attract men. But I present as a woman because I want to be able to wear women's clothing without attracting undue attention. I have no desire for men no matter how I'm dressed.

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1 Reply
(@carloscloset)
Joined: 4 months ago

Estimable Member     Colorado, United States of America
Posts: 112

@alison-anderson thank you for this interesting perspective

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Posts: 304
(@Anonymous 100087)
Reputable Member
Joined: 2 months ago

Mine doesn't, I love my feminine self and only attracted to women. I guess if I was a woman full time I would be a lesbian. 

Allison 

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Posts: 25
Duchess
(@22stars)
Trusted Member     Los Angeles, United States of America
Joined: 1 year ago

Yes, very much so. When I am dressed I am very drawn to being with men.

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Posts: 749
Lady
(@jess92)
Prominent Member     Florida, United States of America
Joined: 4 years ago

I'm bisexual and have a boyfriend, so I'm attracted to my boyfriend even when not dressed, and when I'm dressed (mainly romantic lingerie at bedtime) and the hormones really fire up, you can only imagine how badly I want him. 

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2 Replies
(@carloscloset)
Joined: 4 months ago

Estimable Member     Colorado, United States of America
Posts: 112

@jess92 Great to hear how you two enjoy it!

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Lady
(@jess92)
Joined: 4 years ago

Prominent Member     Florida, United States of America
Posts: 749

@carloscloset We definitely do Carlos!!

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Posts: 63
Duchess
(@hueych53ch46)
Trusted Member     Beach park, Illinois, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

When I dress in female clothes 

I would like to be a woman of the 1950's

And take care of my husband 

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1 Reply
(@Anonymous 100087)
Joined: 2 months ago

Reputable Member
Posts: 304

@hueych53ch46 I love the idea of being a doting housewife so much!

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Posts: 112
Lady
Topic starter
(@carloscloset)
Estimable Member     Colorado, United States of America
Joined: 4 months ago

He would be such a lucky man

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Posts: 76
Lady
(@erikaking)
Estimable Member     Tennessee, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

No, I like both Girls and Gurls, just now I like to be dressed while being with other gurls

Erika

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1 Reply
(@carloscloset)
Joined: 4 months ago

Estimable Member     Colorado, United States of America
Posts: 112

@erikaking Lovely

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Posts: 289
Lady
(@rosiebeth)
Reputable Member     New York, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

That’s a great question. I’m attracted to women most definitely.  As Rosiebeth I do have fantasies about men and I enjoy them but I would never really be with a man.  Not sure where I fall in this category but I love feeling feminine and think about that manly touch.  In reality I adore women and would not be with a man.  

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11 Replies
Duchess
(@liza4you)
Joined: 2 months ago

Estimable Member     MICHIGAN CITY, Indiana, United States of America
Posts: 73

@rosiebeth Hmmm Well I could analyze your statement or use various interpretations set forth as indisputable fact in their own minds be it the Psycho-sexual Stages and defense mechanisms of Freud or the Archetypes and individuation of Jung, mix it in with a little serving of Maslow and Rogers to cover the environment and personal growth and top the whole thing off with a big spoonful of Bandura to ensure success but it sounds to me like somewhere in the deep dark places of your mind given the right night when the stars are shining just maybe ...... but since none of them really had a clue I could be a little off.... (it sounded good though didn't it) 😉

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Lady
(@rosiebeth)
Joined: 5 years ago

Reputable Member     New York, United States of America
Posts: 289

@liza4you maybe.  Lol

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Lady
(@joanarbour)
Joined: 9 years ago

Reputable Member     Missoula, Montana, United States of America
Posts: 169

@rosiebeth yes, there’s always the “what if?” isn’t there though?

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(@carloscloset)
Joined: 4 months ago

Estimable Member     Colorado, United States of America
Posts: 112

@joanarbour Ah yes .... the "what if".  In my case, that question is asked after a possibility has come and gone.

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Lady
(@joanarbour)
Joined: 9 years ago

Reputable Member     Missoula, Montana, United States of America
Posts: 169

@carloscloset yep, timing is everything

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Duchess
(@liza4you)
Joined: 2 months ago

Estimable Member     MICHIGAN CITY, Indiana, United States of America
Posts: 73

@carloscloset I have come to the realization there are many doors in life, some open others close but until you step through you never really know, fantasy is often not quite what the reality has to offer and some are accepting of that and just peek in as I have in the past. But I still can not answer those questions truly until I step through the door and turn on the light. If I don't like what I see then I can turn the light off and step back to choose another door. If I just keep trying to see what on the other side by looking through the keyhole I will waste the rest of my life with only desires, these are the things that create the fantasy. I have decided I want memory's before I am too old and have to let my fantasy die.

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(@carloscloset)
Joined: 4 months ago

Estimable Member     Colorado, United States of America
Posts: 112

@liza4you Thank you for your reply - I like your analogy if the different doors, and how you can either walk through them, peek in, or walk by and just wonder about what could have been.

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Lady
(@joanarbour)
Joined: 9 years ago

Reputable Member     Missoula, Montana, United States of America
Posts: 169

@rosiebeth yes, there’s always the “what if?” isn’t there though?

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(@carloscloset)
Joined: 4 months ago

Estimable Member     Colorado, United States of America
Posts: 112

@rosiebeth my therapist tells me that it's not unusual to have fantasies and desires that never materialize.

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Duchess
(@liza4you)
Joined: 2 months ago

Estimable Member     MICHIGAN CITY, Indiana, United States of America
Posts: 73

@carloscloset another will tell you to embrace your fantasies with vigor and yet another will chastise you for your thoughts. Each adheres to a personal conviction and prescribed interpretation composed of ridged structure and rules. We are not ridged beings by nature that is a "learned" response and in most cases our "moral values" as some call them are not ours but placed on us by family, friends, teachers and churches, in addition to established norms. If you really look  very few of them are contiguous and some diametrically opposing, all of it is leveled at us during the most impressionable years of our development by design and the winner takes the prize. Whats left is a confused, uncertain, individual who has in most cases trying to please everyone with an irreconcilable mass of information and rules to work with and the inherent desire to fit in with everyone else It is no surprise everyone including ourselves feels like they may be crazy when in reality the very application of such an absurd methodology is whats crazy. If its something you want to do if you feel the desire the simple application of common sense is probably the best approach, you have boundarys that you do believe in and as long as you don't betray yourself to hell with everyone else and their advise because very few people really know you other than you. you are the only one who you owe an explanation to. and in the end you will be the only one who will be happy or sad and the decision was always yours. Advise is always good but take it with a large bag of salt and most of all do what makes you happy or the ones you choose to make happy. Regret is the only thing you can't change everything else is within you reach.

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Duchess
(@gracepal)
Joined: 5 months ago

Noble Member     South Carolina, United States of America
Posts: 1030

Posted by: @carloscloset

@rosiebeth my therapist tells me that it's not unusual to have fantasies and desires that never materialize.

My common sense tells me that this statement is true for 99.9% of the human race😊

GP

 

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