does your wife or partner blow hot and cold with your cross dressing?

Hi Fiona

Yes, I am noticing this tendency, although the other way around...

My SO states directly that she doesn't want to see me dressed or have anything to do with it as her chosen line, yet will seek me out and talk to me when she knows I am having Laura time, will encourage me to go out.

Last night she suggested we meet in Oxford Street in London on New Year's eve, me fully dressed. I have ordered a sensational red sparkly dress, strappy heels and fur-necked coat for this - so excited!

She will also dress me to enhance intimacy - but will repeatedly come back to the line that it is not OK with her.

She has even visited CD sites and hung out in CD SO forums to better understand me, and gets that I've basically followed a fairly typical trajectory - feelings started at 6, grew during teen years, indulged, repressed, purged, all the stuff.

So hot and cold is spot on.

I'm beginning to think that's par for the course - after all, I rejected, accepted, rejected et al until now - it took decades.

She's probably following a similar pattern, but many many years behind!

Patience is key, I think.

Love

Laura

Us GGs can be emotional creatures at times. Your wife might be experiencing some feelings she is trying to understand in this journey.  I think patience and communication is key.

Hugs my friend

Kayla

Hi! Im  in a similar situation. My girlfriend has known before we ever even dated. Shes been shopping with me a lot. She's even picked out a few outfits. And talked about getting our nails done.

She seen me in makeup for the first time a few weeks ago and got freaked out. We had made plans to go to a drag show and she decided that she didnt want to go last minute.so i know what you mean by hot and cold.

We broke up for a while for other reasons. But one of the reasons i went back was because she told me time and time agian that she accepts me for what i am. And you all know how hard it is to find a partner that is accepting of us. But now i feel like that is in question. I do love her i just dont understand her sometimes.

I recently finished my first full distance Ironman triathlon. For those of you who dont know what that is. Its a 2.4 mile swim 112 mile bike and then a full marathon a 26.2 mile run. All must be accomplished in 17hrs or less.

In completing this goal. I fell deeper in love with myself. Not only the me i paint for everyone on the outside but the me Samantha" i keep on the inside. I feel more confident and a lot happier. I love my guy role and i love being Samantha. I want to blend them together some days. Then otheres i want to just be Samantha. And some i want to just be Sam. But at the end of The day i am me.

Sorry for my rant lol

Samantha - that was no rant, that was perfectly put - it can feel like a full-on split personality situation, where being either character is huge amount of fun, or very tricky to deal with and keep apart.

Kayla - indeed, there are a lot of feelings to get to grips with by both the SO and the CD.

You are so right - Communication as well as patience.

IME, Communication is the hardest part of any marriage - and hence the part worth working on most.

Love

Laura

We both blow hot and cold, lol.  If emotions were logical, they wouldn’t be emotions. 😉 YMMV.

Yes

encourages me

doesnt want to know too much

outs me in a comical way to people. Even I find that funny. Heart racing but funny

small steps is right

compromises

Hi hun as a SO its vert complicated. I try to support my partner with whatever he does including dressing.
<p style="text-align: center;">Trying to come to terms with the "other woman" can be really hard although its the man  you love somedays i aint that fond if the "other woman" hence the hot and cold issue.</p>
As Kayla has said communication is the key hun. Are you crossing boundaries that your SO is not happy with.As well as talking we have boundaries in places I need to see the man i love more than the "other woman"  Are you giving your partner man time

Fiona,  I have been quite lucky in this aspect. Two out of three relationships have accepted my crossdressing, even enjoyed it with one failure. Sounds like your SO is understandably torn with Fiona and the man she married. I feel her pain when I put myself in her shoes and it is extremely complicated. I know you want to feel confident in your desire to dress up as well as your relationship with her. I know that you must give her time and I also believe you need to sit down and try talking with her and find out how she "feels" about it. You also must express to her how you feel and tell her when your feeling insecure. Exposing our feeling to another person can sometimes be difficult but I have found no matter what, talk will clear the air. You may not always like what you hear, but life does not give us what we want, it gives us what we need. All my Love Sweetie and I really do wish and pray that you both resolve things. Hugs, Bren

Hi Fiona,

My SO just does not want to have nothing to do with it at all.  No worries about hot or cold, it's just cold.

And when I'm shaving like I have been and plan to keep doing, she stays away all together.  She is kind, speaks to me etc., but nothing in the way of intimacy. Nothing at all.

hi rebekka. its sad to hear this. I really hope things perk up for you in the future. my situation is not the best, but I make do. for both of us rebekka, at least we have lovely, kind friends here 🙂 .

fiona xxx

My ex wife was like that. She was never what I’d call supportive. At times she’d tolerate it while others she acted like it was the end of the world. My SO now is incredibly supportive.

I am glad to hear younow have a supportive SO

Hugs

Kayla

I haven't told my wife Been married 26 years. Whenever issues like CD and TG come up, like from TV, movies, magazines, she is very accepting and liberal for other people but it just not for herself (and would not be for me either). When I have "joked" about getting dressed up or having her dress me up she is totally not into it. She has never budged from these thoughts. She's very cis-gendered. Never been attracted to any woman. So I reman in the closet. I am so envious of all of you who have accepting SOs!