Dressing waves

Nina, welcome. I didn’t know there was men’s tights

Hi Nina!

I'm living on top of the wave and I'm riding it for the rest of my life!

Yes, The Force is strong. Go for it!

I have cycling tights. They're similar to leggings (without feet), but no wear near as nice as a pantyhose or even 100 denier winter tights.

(I think there's a play-on-words in there somewhere).

xo Barb 🌊

I do go periods without desire to dress at all. Have limited opportunities which is very frustrating when I have a strong urge to dress. There are times when opportunity is there but desire isn't. Very hard to understand how it all works.

It sort of cycles up and down for me. At the bottom of the cycle, I'm fine. At the top, I'd wear anything female, given half a chance. As Jand said, opportunity rearely matches desire.

Connie

xxx

The need to dress does come in waves for me, as well. I've been "fortunate" to be allowed to work from home for the past two weeks due to an injury (don't worry girls, it's healing fine), and this has allowed me to dress daily. Sometimes putting on panties, bra, and dress/blouse/skirt/etc. felt very routine, almost a chore, but sometimes upon waking, I couldn't get into girlish attire fast enough.

Truth be told, I'd prefer a state where dressing did settle into a routine, without the waves. Yesterday, I got dressed en femme per usual, then decided I needed to go out. The next two hours were filled with anxiety and tension, followed by resolve as I found I couldn't bring myself to revert to drab, and so completed my appearance as best I could with makeup and a wig. I had a wonderful afternoon out and about, but this morning, I find little need to dress.

Before I decide whether to take my identity as Charlotte further, I feel I need to find that state of equilibrium where, if there are still waves, they are merely gentle laps upon the shore, not monsoons.

Hi Nina..

I so feel for you girls who " drift " in and out of this beautiful thing...

It's not just the ups and downs....its the cost of purge, then start again, purge, then start again....horrendous!!!

I'm " dead calm "....no waves here...every single day it's a rush to look pretty, I never feel anything less....my god, the alternative is a life in drab!!!!....if you could call it that.

Grace 💓💓

You should go out more times crossdressed Jane. Love your outfits girl. Think we have to encourage one another constantly.

Before I 100% accepted that this is what I really love to do, I would experience waves too.

Now, I still have days when I desperately want to dress, and others when I hardly think about it - except in terms of my next outing.

For outings, I like to daydream about the outfits I'm going to wear, or watch videos about aspects of makeup I want to improve on.

I hardly ever jump into a dress the second my wife goes out, because that's not enough any more - I Underdress as a matter as I don't own any male underwear. Mostly I wear ladies jeans, socks, trainers, t-shirts and jumpers too - so that's enough to keep me feeling femme.

The big jump to Laura mode comes with makeup, wig and forms, and it is always a special occasion, because it's only once a month. It's a smashing of the glass ceiling, a levelling up - a different world that she inhabits.

In respect to waves, it's a tsunami of Laura. She completely washes over me, and I am left to witness first-hand - and then record the beautiful time she has. In truth, it's ordinary experiences, but from such a wonderful perspective, and with such grass roots appreciation of and love for even the simplest human experience, and to treat anything slightly out of the ordinary as somehow beautiful, moving and magical.

I don't know what I'd do, given full choice, but, as I am at least given some choice, I make sure not to waste a moment, and, indeed, fully enjoy each second! It's a life-enhancing thing that spills over into male mode.

There is no thought of quitting or purging - I cannot quit myself.

Love Laura

Hi Nina,

I tend to think more in terms of tides not waves. For me the desire or intensity of the desire to dress grows over a period of time and conversely diminishes over time also.

I can tell when the tide is rolling in so to speak. Each day the desire/urge/need to express my feminine side through dressing grows until I “scratch the itch”. There are times within the high tide that the urge is irresistible and times, not so much.

I also know when the tide is receding. For some reason the outgoing tide saddens me somewhat. I try to honor the need not to dress as much as I honor the need to dress. No sense fighting myself.

The one lesson I have learned, however is to not “purge”. I know that sooner or later the tide will rise again and I like to be ready when it does.

Hugs, Jillian

Nina, I understand. I say to myself , what am I doing and stop anything female. After a few days the desire to be feminine comes back and each time it seems stronger & stronger. I keep giving in to my female side and I've got to say I love it so much.

Hugs, Liara

Well put, Jillian.

Hugs, Liara

It's interesting to hear that other's urge comes and goes just as mine does.  Once you've lived like this long enough you start to notice a pattern.  For me,  I've recognized it seems tied to the moon phases.  One week you might be cutting wood like any average Joe and the next week you're dressed like a Hooters girl having fun with the wife... lol

I can completely relate.  I have never tracked it enough to know if there is a regular pattern of when it hits me or not.   However there is a consistent pattern of how it happens….starts like a small wave - like on a lake- and once I get my feet in the water so to speak then it grows into a tsunami where I’m drowning in delight and feeling oh so desirable, often trying a new outfit and/or experience only to have it subside until the next time.   For the record right now I’m standing in the lake as the small waves are lapping up against my legs…I think I see a bigger wave coming in….:)

Nina,

The need is always there for me, simmering on the stove every day.  Thus the collection of panties that I choose from to underdress everyday, thus the shades of lipstick in my pocket that are barely distinguishable from my natural lip complexion, thus the earrings I keep in my Jeep to be put on whenever I pull out of the driveway.  The desire to wear more, to add a bra, some stockings, outer femme garments, and shoes is a pan at a gentle boil when I have more than a few hours home alone.  The pot comes to a vigorous, rolling boil and bubbles over when I apply makeup and a wig and head out to a store or nightclub.

All of the dishes serve to satisfy a hunger.  I am cautious, though, watching what I eat and when, lest I eat too fast and get burned (discovered by my SO).

Something  I have come to realize since meeting all of you at CDH, which made me look inside and search my soul, and which maybe I have always known on some level, is that I’m a crossdresser (at the least, maybe more).  I can’t change that part of me.  I have no desire to change it.

I may not be able to openly share Raquel with everyone, but if they look closely, they will see her, even when I am dressed in drab.  And I still have more to discover about myself, I’m sure.

I’m sorry you purged.  I can only hope you don’t let what others think, dictate who you are and what you can do, at least in your own privacy.  We’re here for you if you just want to talk. 🥰

Much love,
Raquel

As an aside, all the talk of leggings recently, had me trying out a pair of my wife’s last weekend for the first time.  Which led to me purchasing a few pairs at Walmart (of decent quality, I might add), a pair of solid black, 7/8’s length crops, and a full length pair in a lovely floral pattern.  Which then got me to thinking and shopping for/ordering a couple of pairs of solid black men’s tights.  This is so I can occasionally substitute the women’s without notice.  Well, maybe not the floral ones.  😁