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Driving differently en femme

40 Posts
15 Users
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Posts: 192
Duchess
Topic starter
(@mkat3874)
Reputable Member     Northeast GA , Georgia, United States of America
Joined: 4 months ago

I've been going out of the house en femme for the last year. I don't get out and about near my home since I live in a very small town where I'm just not comfortable presenting as Michelle.  I drive to a nearby large city which is a little over an hour from my home to blend in with the masses. My wife has been going with me on many of these trips and we've had lots of fun.  Regardless of how I'm presenting she prefers that I drive as it's just not her thing.  Yesterday we were out together and I was in male mode driving into the city to do some shopping for furniture.  As wives sometimes do she "offers suggestions" regarding my driving.  Apparently yesterday I must have been driving in a way that she wasn't fond of.  At one point she exclaimed, "Why can't you drive like Michelle?" I hadn't given it much thought until that exchange but she went on to explain that I drive far better when I'm en femme.  For those who may go driving en femme, do you notice or has someone else noticed a difference in your driving as related to how you are dressed?  

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39 Replies
22 Replies
Baroness
(@annaredhead)
Joined: 11 months ago

Famed Member     Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 1793

@mkat3874 I do find myself driving extra-cautiously. In the event of a prang I don't want the extra hassle of exchanging insurance details whilst en-femme or taking a trip to casualty whilst en-femme.

My car's windows are pretty dark from the outside (legally so) and I doubt much can be seen of me from a distance if driving en-femme but I still feel self-conscious.

I have been caught speeding twice last year, having had a clean driving record for 30 years. Both times on camera and both times driving en-homme. 

Hugs,

Anna xx

 

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(@rebeccabaxter)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 1292

@annaredhead I got caught in Plymouth, at the speed camera near Wetherspoons and the bus station; I had to do a speed awareness course (because I was 0.6 mph over the threshold) so I managed to avoid the points. Before that, the last time I was caught speeding was in 1987 on the M25 and the police said I was doing 110mph (I wasn't, it was a hundred). I mean, on the M25, 110! I should have got some sort of award! But I lost my licence for six weeks instead.

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Baroness
(@annaredhead)
Joined: 11 months ago

Famed Member     Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 1793

@rebeccabaxter I got caught in October, 83mph on the A30 - fair cop and I got a speed awareness course.

Next was in December, going down a steep hill when the limit changed from 60 to 40, done at 47mph. I feel a bit disgruntled about this one. When I saw the evidence photos, someone came up really fast behind me so I hope he got done too. 3 points for that one - my first ever points. 

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Duchess
(@mkat3874)
Joined: 4 months ago

Reputable Member     Northeast GA , Georgia, United States of America
Posts: 192

@annaredhead 

I've wished my car had more window tint especially on bright sunny days.  As I'm first leaving my community I've passed by some of the neighbors who I'm sure see me.  I'm careful to wear sunglasses and we have a story if ever questioned. Something about my sister visiting from out of town and borrowing the car. . .😆

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Baroness
(@annaredhead)
Joined: 11 months ago

Famed Member     Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 1793

@mkat3874 I've rehearsed the sister story too! I do have prescription sunglasses and they are unisex so could wear them and get away with it.

I did get stuck in heavy traffic a few months ago and a bloke in the next land in the passenger seat of a van was looking down into my car. Tinted windows or not, he was having a good look at my legs. I didn't dare look up!

 

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Duchess
(@mkat3874)
Joined: 4 months ago

Reputable Member     Northeast GA , Georgia, United States of America
Posts: 192

@annaredhead 

Until recently I didn't have prescription sunglasses so I was using a very feminine pair of regular sunglasses borrowed from my wife. I would wear them until I was a few miles out of town and then switch to my regular glasses. I took the plunge and purchased some womens prescription sunglasses online.  I love them because now I can wear them all the time and not have to strain my eyes to watch the road.  

I've not yet had the same occasion of being stuck in traffic and being stared at but I did have to pump gas back in the summer.  I pulled into a station with very few customers and a lot of pumps on a sunny morning.  I made sure to go to a pump far from anyone else and wouldn't you know, a couple of fellows pulled right up to the adjacent pump and got out to pump their gas. There wasn't any exchange and I made sure not to look at them. It was after that moment that I better understood why my wife is always hesitant to pump gas when driving on her own. 

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Baroness
(@annaredhead)
Joined: 11 months ago

Famed Member     Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 1793

@mkat3874 I always fuel the car the day before. My car has no spare wheel but is on runflat tyres.

I buy all my femme glasses in person so I can see what they look like. My local opticians are CD friendly and know about Anna

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Duchess
(@mkat3874)
Joined: 4 months ago

Reputable Member     Northeast GA , Georgia, United States of America
Posts: 192

@annaredhead 

I keep a pack of makeup wipes and a change of clothes in the back seat in case I have to (God forbid) change a tire. 

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Ambassador
(@beach-girl)
Joined: 7 years ago

Honorable Member     United States of America
Posts: 521

@mkat3874 Me too. Gotta have a "guy bag"

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Baroness
(@annaredhead)
Joined: 11 months ago

Famed Member     Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 1793

@mkat3874 I have an emergency kit change and wipes too.

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Ambassador
(@beach-girl)
Joined: 7 years ago

Honorable Member     United States of America
Posts: 521

@mkat3874 Guys have tried to pick me up while pumping gas.

 

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Duchess
(@mkat3874)
Joined: 4 months ago

Reputable Member     Northeast GA , Georgia, United States of America
Posts: 192

@beach-girl 

I haven't planned for how to handle that situation.  I hope I don't have to.  

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Baroness
(@annaredhead)
Joined: 11 months ago

Famed Member     Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 1793

@mkat3874 I'm hoping I don't have to deal with this, but if I do, I hope I'll keep the presence of mind to politely say "no thanks"

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Ambassador
(@beach-girl)
Joined: 7 years ago

Honorable Member     United States of America
Posts: 521

@mkat3874 Wow, Michelle. Same deal with us.

 

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Guest
(@Anonymous 97944)
Joined: 6 months ago

Reputable Member
Posts: 319

@mkat3874 That brought a smile to my face!  I don't know if on the few times when I've driven as Dani if it is any different.  It might be, I suppose, if perhaps I had been taking greater care not to have an accident while in a skirt & nylons.

Btw, I went back and saw your photos.  Oh my gosh, are you gorgeous!  Stunning.

Dani 

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Duchess
(@mkat3874)
Joined: 4 months ago

Reputable Member     Northeast GA , Georgia, United States of America
Posts: 192

@danikiss22 

Thank you.  You're too kind  😊

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Duchess
(@gracepal)
Joined: 5 months ago

Noble Member     South Carolina, United States of America
Posts: 1013

@mkat3874 Oh, you have one of those spouses who “offers suggestions” like I do Michelle? How fortunate we are to have ladies like that because as we all know, there is only one way to do things the right way when driving. “Why are you going that way?” I dunno. “Well you could take that way.” I could. “That way’s faster.” I know. “I don’t know why you wouldn’t wanna get there faster…” I dunno. “I have appointments later so I need to get back sooner.” I know.

Anyway, I was thinking about this just recently as I used to travel “dressed while driving” back in the ‘90’s. In the SF Bay Area which has some of the worst traffic nightmares you will ever have the pleasure to be in. I marvel at how bold I used to be too. I had a very recognized vehicle but would just pull right out of my garage and take off, the heck with any neighbors spotting me. (I did have the “sister” story ready to go though, just in case.)

I always drove the under the limit, I do remember. Never got pulled over. Don’t know if I ever got checked out as I stared straight ahead at the road and never looked over at passing cars. At this time I had a CD friend who was a Chief of Police in a nearby town. I asked him if he ever pulled over any CD’s and he said, “Oh, all the time. They would be nervous as h***, literally shaking as they handed over their license and reg since obviously, the picture was a male. He said he just did what he would always do, run the info and then hand it back to them and say, ‘you might not realize this but you’ve had the right person stop you.’ Then I let them off with just a warning, then a wink.” I always thought that was a really cool thing for him to do.

GP

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Duchess
(@mkat3874)
Joined: 4 months ago

Reputable Member     Northeast GA , Georgia, United States of America
Posts: 192

@gracepal 

Oh I know what you mean about the traffic in SF Bay area. I used to travel there for work a few times per year.  I once called my wife back at home on the east coast from the middle of the Golden Gate Bridge and asked her to meet me there for a kiss. (Time/date TBD). That was almost 15 yrs ago and we still haven't had that date.  When we do I plan to be there as Michelle.  Hopefully I won't have to meet your police chief friend.  😁

 

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 Erin
Princess
(@erinb)
Joined: 5 months ago

Noble Member     Ohio, United States of America
Posts: 1164

@mkat3874 interesting 🤔 unfortunately I never drove in fem always thought about it but get to nerves and anxiety 😦 I chicken out lol 

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Duchess
(@mkat3874)
Joined: 4 months ago

Reputable Member     Northeast GA , Georgia, United States of America
Posts: 192

@erinb 

My first drive en femme was nerve wracking and exhilarating at the same time. It gets easier every time you go. 

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 Erin
Princess
(@erinb)
Joined: 5 months ago

Noble Member     Ohio, United States of America
Posts: 1164

@mkat3874 have to wait till late night when hopefully all the neighbors are a sleep lol

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Duchess
(@mkat3874)
Joined: 4 months ago

Reputable Member     Northeast GA , Georgia, United States of America
Posts: 192

@erinb 

That's sounds like a good strategy for a first drive. 

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Posts: 1292
(@rebeccabaxter)
    Cornwall, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 year ago

Never noticed it personally as since I got caught speeding earlier this year, I've tended to stick to speed limits; but even before that, still not.

I think the only change I make to my driving is I tend to look at other people more, probably to see if they are looking at (and admiring, perhaps) me. 😊 

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1 Reply
Duchess
(@mkat3874)
Joined: 4 months ago

Reputable Member     Northeast GA , Georgia, United States of America
Posts: 192

@rebeccabaxter

Luckily I've not been pulled over or ticketed in either mode so far. I tend to stick to the limits either way.  What she honed in on was that when I'm dressed as Michelle I always come to a complete stop at stop signs but rarely ever come to a full stop in male mode.

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Posts: 502
Lady
(@kerrismith)
Prominent Member     Belvidere, Illinois, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

I drive a manual transmission car.  It’s hard to shift when wearing a skirt and heels. Your foot can easily slip off the pedals when wearing heels. Plus I’m extremely careful when enfemme. I do not want to have an accident when dressed.

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2 Replies
Duchess
(@mkat3874)
Joined: 4 months ago

Reputable Member     Northeast GA , Georgia, United States of America
Posts: 192

@kerrismith 

Driving in heels brings up an entirely different matter.  I've only driven in flats and with an automatic transmission.  I haven't driven a manual in a few years but that would surely complicate matters, especially in heels.  I admire your tenacity. 😃

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Baroness
(@annaredhead)
Joined: 11 months ago

Famed Member     Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 1793

@kerrismith My car is automatic, my truck is manual. My car has bucket seats and getting out of it with dignity in a dress is difficult, getting out of the truck modestly would be worse - I've not driven it en femme yet.

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Posts: 521
Ambassador
(@beach-girl)
Honorable Member     United States of America
Joined: 7 years ago

I've been in a fender bender while dressed. We exchanged info. I said, "Obviously, I'm really a guy." He said, "So what?"

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1 Reply
Duchess
(@mkat3874)
Joined: 4 months ago

Reputable Member     Northeast GA , Georgia, United States of America
Posts: 192

@beach-girl 

Whew!  That went well. Could have been a lot worse.  

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Posts: 1047
Managing Ambassador
(@melodeescarlet)
Famed Member     DC/Baltimore, Maryland, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

@mkat3874 That's a very funny observation! For myself, I don't think it's any different. 😉

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Posts: 471
Lady
(@cherylt)
Prominent Member     Honesdale, Pennsylvania, United States of America
Joined: 6 months ago

The difference used to be very noticeable. I would be more cautious, less likely to speed and other things. Since I retired I drive more that way all the time. I have no use for an accident and all the mess it makes dealing with insurance and all. I just can't be bothered anymore. If others want to drive like fools then be my guest, just stay away from me and don't involve me in your mistakes.

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Posts: 3409
Hostess
(@ab123)
Illustrious Member     Surrey, United Kingdom
Joined: 5 years ago

Old habits can die hard when driving. I  would say that I am more cautious when driving En Femme as not to draw attention to myself. Male drivers tend to be more aggressive and reacting to an idiot driver as a male would is probably the best test of driving while dressed. 

I think it is a good thing we are more aware when dressed as being more laid back makes a journey more enjoyable and also safer.

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1 Reply
Duchess
(@mkat3874)
Joined: 4 months ago

Reputable Member     Northeast GA , Georgia, United States of America
Posts: 192

@ab123 

Apparently I'm safer driving as Michelle, at least according to my wife. 😉

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Posts: 1784
Baroness Annual
(@d44)
Famed Member     New York, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

I drive the same as when I used to present as male, no difference.

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Posts: 2028
Baroness
(@ryanpaul)
Famed Member     Outer Eastern Suburbs Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
Joined: 7 years ago

I'm in the "extra careful" lane when driving en femme. It only happens maybe 2-3 times a year and due to some niggling health probs, did not go out at all in 2024.

Another factor: I'm and old "chook", (trans. chicken) who's done almost everything she ever wanted to do as Caty. So the idea of driving dressed aint the thrill it use to be.

Tho I did drive from Plymouth down to Cornwall back in the mid 90's. I deliberately got out of the car ata layby so the "world would see me".

But the world did not give a hoot, so I got back in the car and went on my merry way.

There's a story about what happened when I got down to Cornwall, but that for another day.

 

Caty.

 

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2 Replies
Baroness
(@annaredhead)
Joined: 11 months ago

Famed Member     Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 1793

@ryanpaul I live in Cornwall and do drive back from Plymouth en femme.

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Duchess
(@mkat3874)
Joined: 4 months ago

Reputable Member     Northeast GA , Georgia, United States of America
Posts: 192

@ryanpaul 

The first few times out I was concerned about the world "giving a hoot" but so far no hoot's been given. 🙂

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Posts: 934
Lady
(@ashleigh)
Noble Member     Ocala, Florida, United States of America
Joined: 9 years ago

I do have a tendency to drive a bit more cautiously when dressed. Partly to hopefully accidents and partly because I take the time to really enjoy the experience. I have owned many sports cars in the past and was always a fairly agressive driver in them. Now I drive what is best described as a soccer mom SUV and I am a considerably less agressive even when in male mode. 
Good question! Thanks for sharing it.

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Posts: 1197
(@lauren114)
Noble Member     Delaware, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

For me, I'm a lot calmer in general when presenting as Lauren.   I tend to drive more cautiously and avoid any kind of adverse interactions.   Another reason why I should be full time!

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