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Do you ever find yourself with the male side of your brain wondering why on earth a woman would do certain things and the female side just going ahead and doing them anyway?
I seem to find myself in this position quite a lot, especially with things like painted/long nails, jewellery, lip stick, even dresses, skirts and heels. The male part of my brain just doesn't understand why someone could be bothered with the extra effort but the female part just goes ahead anyway. I know its all enjoyable, its nice to be pretty, skirts and dresses are comfortable but it is all a bit more work and to do it all day, reapplying lipstick, avoiding chipping a nail, avoiding catching jewellery. I was putting the bins out on a windy evening in a pleated dress the other night and I was holding the dress down with one hand and dragging the bin with the other. Part of me was fine with that, it was normal, and part of me just couldn't understand it.
I haven't grown up as a woman or been socialised as a woman, no one has pressured me to look pretty (and I never could anyway) or to do all the little extras and yet part of me still gravitates towards those things.
@butteryeffect I think of this alot and had discussed it with my Wife .
Best I can say is its definitely a challenge when all dolled up with nails , longhair, jewelry, heels , and the lot.. and doing normal tasks that were so easy. The worst of it is changing a necklace or bracelet with long nails , OMG.. all takes practice. after a while though most seem to be second nature. But in all honesty I actually enjoy the challenge. it makes menial tasks fun again. and the mundane becomes interesting, My brain has to work overtime to figure out how to do things in a different way and I so enjoy that. But if you grew up wearing all this on a regular basis then I can see where some older women go with the short hair nails low heels or flats ect.. its just way easier. But for me well bring it on girl !! 
Cheers RC
@butteryeffect I think what I feel is a conflict between what I was raised to believe was appropriate male behavior and the desire/need to explore and express the femininity that is deeply ingrained in me. When I allow that expression, it always feels right and natural, despite the counter-programming!
@kimdl94 you make an interesting observation. I don't really feel conflicted more just bemused as to why anyone would do the things that women do whilst at the same time doing them myself 🤔
@butteryeffect Yes I often wondered why any man would do what most of us are doing, specially those of us doing it in public. But the desire to wear pretty clothes and getting myself as pretty as I can to even going out grocery shopping is so much fun. Why do women need so many shoes, I now have an overflow on my rack of shoes.
Cassie
@loneleycd For me it's not really why a man would do this but why would anyone, man or woman would bother with it and I know some women who never wear makeup, heels or skirts so I guess they think the same.
It's interesting, I've never thought like this. I guess because I don't think of myself as having a male/female side. I just think of it like, "when you're wearing x, you have to do y differently." Many ladies here have this experience of two halves, but I've never really experienced dressing like this. I'm certainly not saying one or the other way of being is better or worse, but my experience is different.
The clearest way to describe what I experience, is to think of gender like a style choice. Sometimes I wear older clothes for work that I don't mind ruining or getting dirty. Sometimes I'm in causal clothes that are comfortable. Sometimes I wear nicer clothes for church. Sometimes I wear a tie, sometimes a dress.
One thing I will say, is that dressing as a woman is way more work. While I love the sound of my heels clicking down the hallway, It's harder than my regular shoes I don't have to think about. Going to the bathroom in guy mode is way easier than when I'm in girl mode. And, when you're dressed up, as exciting and fun as it is, there's always a bit of fear around how people will treat you and what might happen. This of course is something that GGs live with all the time. Sometimes I feel like I'm kind of cheating. I can enjoy dressing up when I want to, but if I'm not feeling it, I don't have to. GG can't escape the harassment and other obstacles women sometimes face.
So, often the choice to dress up or not for the day is directly related to how much energy I want to put into the day. I usually choose to dress up on days in the office when the work load is lighter. On days when I really need to "get things done," I'm more likely to go in male mode.
@butteryeffect I feel like the female side of my brain is slowly but surely taking over. Being programmed as male for much of my life, my brain is undoing the repression and allowing my female side to emerge and blossom. I feels strange on occasion but I see it for what it is and I'm starting to embrace and enjoy it very much!
My brain as a whole has never questioned why about any of my feminine actions as it is quite a natural thing to do. There is of course some of the male brain there but the feminine traits and understanding have been ingrained and is possibly more powerful than the male side.
A lot of women take as much effort and pride in their looks, we can understand but it is other men who wonder.
My male brain certainly recognises the hassle factor in some things, like keeping nail polish undamaged until it's absolutely fully dried through, or drawing on/filling in eyebrows. But it also wants me to be pretty! That's why I'll hopefully be getting gel overlays (not too long) on my fingernails next time I'm in the salon for laser on my beard. Because I don't really have enough eyebrow hair to give me much of a shape, rather than just repeat the tint/wax they did last time , I'm going to investigate microblading locally as well.
@finallyfiona I wish I had your brow problem 😊 mine are too big and bushy, I pluck weekly which is painful and even then I'm just about staying on top of being able to see out, no where near getting a feminine look
To me, being a woman is quite hard work. As has been said, makeup, avoiding nail polish chipping, choosing and wearing all those different clothes. Then there's trying to maintain womanly posture and mannerisms and trying not to eat your hair at lunchtime! Not to mention my hair obscuring my view when looking down. Trying to keep manly facial growth at bay. Yes, it is hard work, but I love it.
Now as a male, I sling on a T shirt, socks, shoes and a pair of shorts and I'm good to go. Takes me about twenty seconds to go from lying in bed asleep, to being ready to go out with the dog.
All that said, as a male, but with a cross dressing mentality, I find myself looking at dresses, skirts and tops; would that lipstick suit me, is there a better way of applying eyeshadow?
Ah, the dichotomy of cross dressing: at the same time, a curse and a blessing.
Feminine actions and ways of thinking come naturally to me now. The female part of my brain is much more dominant than the male side. So I don't concern myself with some of the hassles of being a woman. I just accept it as part of everyday life.
having recently come out I still have to get the long nails and hair but one thing I noticed today when I was wearing women's jeans is that the pockets in the front are useless with the only practical one being on the bum,, no I know why all women put their phone in their back pocket - but it felt good an that is what matters
Just me then 😀 I've known for a long time that I am unusual even among minority groups.
Thanks for the replies, it really does help me understand and come to terms with my state of mind
Hi Cathy, For me it's just normal and natural. I don't think of it as extra work but just day to day life. My nails are usually kept short and trimmed but if I'm glamming up I make time to paint my nails or apply press-ons. And if I'm working out in the woods logging, I just wear my heavy work clothes and leather boots. No biggie here and I won't be wearing a pushup bra but rather my daily Tshirt bra. It's just an automatic shift for fitting the situation. I'm intersex so perhaps I think and emote differently from others but I really don't believe that I have any differentiation between M+F sides. It's all just me being me and never questioning. Oh, and BTY, I sometimes sew an extra long pocket into the front of my jeans just for my phone because I tend to sit on it when I put it in the back. Again, to me it makes perfect sense. Thanks for this interesting question. Marg
