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Elephant in the room

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Posts: 86
Lady
Topic starter
(@cyndigrrl)
Estimable Member     Metropolis, Illinois, United States of America
Joined: 7 years ago

We've all been there.  You look femme, feel femme, and even smell femme.  You dress, thinking how passable you are at the moment.  Then you see the way you are moving.  You're stiff, hunched over, walking very manly, and have all the grace of Frankenstein.  Any advice on how to move more feminine and avoid looking like Quasimodo in a dress?  

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6 Replies
Ambassador
(@lucyb112)
Joined: 2 years ago

Noble Member     Staffordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 794

@cyndigrrl 

Hi Cynthia,

As others have said, you tube is really the place to go. 
You did mention being hunched over though. That’s a definite male trait. 
The answer to that is simply shoulders back, chest out. That will actually cure some other bits. 

Have you tried hips pads? 
If not, they’re definitely worth a try. For a start, you will see a more feminine figure looking back at you in the mirror, which will be a great confidence booster. 

They also seem to help me walk in a more feminine way. 

Lucy x

 

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Duchess
(@robyn1408)
Joined: 1 year ago

Reputable Member     Dennis, Massachusetts, United States of America
Posts: 102

@lucyb112 I agree about the hip pads. For some reason I just fall naturally into a feminine gait when wearing them. Shoulders back makes a big difference too.

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(@lauren114)
Joined: 12 months ago

Noble Member     Connecticut, United States of America
Posts: 724

@cyndigrrl The best way to learn how to woman is to watch women.   For me, I have learned a lot  about women's habits, deportment and style.  This can be done in person while out and about or by watching TV or videos on the internet.  Once I have ideas, the next thing is to practice, practice, practice.   Even when I drab, I now try to practice basic movement and things like what I do with my hands.   It's all not a simple thing and while I have made strides, I still have a long way to go.

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(@lauren114)
Joined: 12 months ago

Noble Member     Connecticut, United States of America
Posts: 724

Posted by: @lauren114

@cyndigrrl The best way to learn how to woman is to watch women.   For me, I have learned a lot  about women's habits, deportment and style.  This can be done in person while out and about or by watching TV or videos on the internet.  Once I have ideas, the next thing is to practice, practice, practice.   Even when in drab, I now try to practice basic movement and things like what I do with my hands.   It's all not a simple thing and while I have made strides, I still have a long way to go.

 

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Lady
(@kimdl94)
Joined: 2 months ago

Estimable Member     Longview, Texas, United States of America
Posts: 60

@cyndigrrl  For starters, just watch other women in real life.  You will see how women move…pay attention to those of your size and stature.

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Lady
(@candycross)
Joined: 2 months ago

Reputable Member     Queensland, Australia
Posts: 164

@cyndigrrl a very interesting point some find that easy, me l am a bit of a klutz as far as that goes, but l try and not all women move around the way a typical woman does

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Posts: 2498
Lady
(@harriette)
Famed Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Joined: 1 year ago

One day, I was resting in a mall people watching. I saw a small group of 3 young women walking past. At least one of them stood out from the rest because she was wearing heels. I think that the other two did as well, but the one that caught my eye was leaning forward at a noticeable angle. Maybe she was trying to keep pace with the other two by taking larger strides. I don't know, but, wow, did it ever look weird.

The point is that if you want to wear heels, stand up straight. It tightens your belly muscles and it will force you to take shorter strides, and it won't make you stand out and draw unnecessary attention.

You will also be able to focus on your walking. For example, maybe you want to swivel the leading side of your hips forward and back - left, right, left, right. Only a small number of women do this, but men / crossdressers can learn how, too. We may not be able to generate the up and down movement that GGs have their bigger butt cheeks do, but we can swivel. Slowing down your pace allows you to focus and practice. Besides, why were you in a hurry in the first place? That's not lady-like.

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7 Replies
Baroness
(@annaredhead)
Joined: 4 months ago

Prominent Member     Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 414

@harriette I can walk well in heels, but in flats, no, I keep my male gait. The big problems are height and hand / foot size

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Baroness Annual
(@finallyfiona)
Joined: 7 months ago

Noble Member     Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 824

@annaredhead Height you can't do anything about, except not wear heels 🙂  But for hands, I always tuck my thumbs out of the way, with the ends touching the undersides of the furthest joints of my third fingers. It seems to satisfy the male urge to keep your fingers curled, while allowing you to be quite expressive with your free fingers.

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Baroness
(@annaredhead)
Joined: 4 months ago

Prominent Member     Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 414

@finallyfiona I'll try that with hands, thanks. I do like heels so can't see myself not wearing them

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Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 1 year ago

Famed Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2498

@annaredhead I don't understand why flats exist. There is no padding under the heels, to protect us, and they do nothing for the shape of our legs. Even sandals can be more interesting, too, design-wise.

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Baroness
(@annaredhead)
Joined: 4 months ago

Prominent Member     Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 414

@harriette sandals or anything open-toed are an absolute no for me. Flats, I've got a couple of pairs but rarely wear them. I'm still trying to find shoes with patterns on, rather than a single colour

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Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 1 year ago

Famed Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2498

@annaredhead The shoes with the most colours today are running shoes. Lots of variety and many are in wide widths.

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Baroness
(@annaredhead)
Joined: 4 months ago

Prominent Member     Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 414

@harriette I run and have plenty of running shoes. They do plenty of good colours.

There are a couple of UK brands that do very stylish patterned ladies shoes (and limited range of men's). Talking to a distributor recently, she said there was a lot of enquiries for patterned court shoes in larger sizes. They currently make up to UK 9.

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Posts: 878
Duchess Annual
(@robertaf)
Noble Member     Louisiana, United States of America
Joined: 4 years ago

U tube is the place to go. There are countless videos on walking, talking and presenting female.

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Posts: 2696
Hostess
(@ab123)
Famed Member     Surrey, United Kingdom
Joined: 4 years ago

An often asked question Cynthia.

Obviously watching women out and about, You Tube and deportment videos too.

It takes practice to undo a lifetime of walking like a man and it is simple nuances that make a difference.

Stand straighter and ease the shoulders back, keep the head up slightly. Not a military 'To attention' but in a relaxed way.

Keep elbows to the waist area, notice how your hands hang? The backs of your hand tend to face forward so turn them so the thumb is facing forward.

Then to the legs, keep the legs closer together and walk.Shorten the steps, aim to walk with the feet parallel and not one in front of the other. Don't let the foot hit the floor but imagine it gently easing down into a carpet.

Don't keep the shoulders rigid just ease each shoulder forward and back very slightly in time with the arm movement.

Move the right hand in a gentle sway in time with the left foot and vice versa keeping the elbow close to the waist and don't rush, be relaxed, not tense.

Do not over exaggerate any movements, you are not a catwalk model.

There's a practice routine for you. You will get a basic walk, more like a cat on the prowl instead of an elephant in the room.

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Posts: 19
Lady
(@missjackie)
Eminent Member     Arizona, United States of America
Joined: 7 days ago

I'm going to throw my two cents in, but it may be more like a quarter. As the other girls have said, watch genetic woman and you will learn a lot.

I was blessed with the natural ability to walk in heels the moment I put them on. My wife was frustrated because I was more stable than her even though she had been wearing them her whole life. The first thing you have to do is trust the heel. Because the sole is a larger area, many people have a tendency to shift their weight forward onto the ball of their foot, which creates and odd leaning forward walk. I suggest, practicing with a wedge or a larger cone style heel until you fully trust the heel. I also always wear platforms for several reasons. First the platform makes the angle of your foot less, which makes the shoe both more comfortable and more manageable. Secondly, it creates a much more stable base underneath you. Thirdly, it forces you to walk more femininely, because the sole does not bend changing your walk naturally to a more feminine gait.

I always wear longline bras, corsets or firm body shapewear to insure I stand up straight and keep my shoulders back. Another minor recommendation I have is that you pull your elbows and arms toward your body. Men have broader shoulders and more muscular builds than the average genetic woman. This results in the arms extending outward or hanging like an ape LOL.

Remember also that feminine women tend to keep their legs closed, not just when they are sitting LOL. You don't have to walk one foot in front of the other like a model, but you should practice keeping your feet close to each other when you step. I know many of the other girls recommend smaller steps, but I prefer the power stride. When with my wife, I take one step to three of hers. When wearing stilettos, the fewer the steps, the less likely you will make a bad one LOL.

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Duchess
(@smartina)
Joined: 7 years ago

Estimable Member     Bangkok, Bangkok, Thailand
Posts: 179

@missjackie "feminine women tend to keep their legs closed, not just when they are sitting" This is a good guide for me, wearing a short skirt or dress keeps me aware of it. You need a sitting down routine that protects your modesty, and don't bend over, to expose your rear. As if you were about to lift a sack of sugar, bend your knees rather than back to get at something on the floor. All that said, I've no idea how well I move femininely, lol. 

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Posts: 396
(@rebeccabaxter)
Noble Member     Cornwall, United Kingdom
Joined: 6 months ago

Rather than avoiding the one foot in front of the other way of walking, I tend to practice doing exactly that. I don't mean in a strutting catwalk model way, that doesn't look realistic even on them, but if you have bow legs (like me), walking with feet side by side and not in front of each other tends to show up the bandy-leggedness. Taking smaller steps in line covers up the funny-shaped legs I have had since birth. Just to show how bad it is, years ago I was having a kickabout with some friends using a tennis ball and I was in the makeshift goal. The ball was kicked at me and all I could do to try to save the goal was to put my legs together and stop it with my knees; this did not happen. So wide is the gap between my knees under normal circumstances, that the ball passed right between them without touching either one. So you see, I need to walk very carefully when dressed to cover up this basic difference between my male knees and those of a genuine woman.

Others will have different ways of walking. Take videos of yourself and work from there.

 

Becca

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Posts: 1290
Baroness Annual
(@d44)
Noble Member     New York, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

Practice what you see on Youtube in front of a big mirror at home.

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