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So we are 36 days into the New Year and I am nowhere closer to achieving my goal in 2024 of telling my wife about my dressing. I must admit I’ve had a couple of small windows to start a conversation but each time I just melted and chickened out!! Why oh why can’t I find the courage to have this talk? I am so disgusted, but most importantly very disappointed in myself!!! Hoping to find the courage soon!!!
Ginger
How is your sex life? I don't ask to be nosey and I don't expect an answer but sometimes if a woman is adventurous in the bedroom (or the elevator or in the woods) then she may be more open to a different form of play. Rather than 'have the conversation' is it possible for you to jokingly hold up a bra from her washing and ask her if it suits you, or something like that. Perhaps just starting the conversation in another way might help you; just thinking out loud.
I suppose that is a way Rebecca but there is a difference between play and the real thing as there have been many stories that relate to such circumstances which have varying results.
Ginger it's a big deal in a relationship and you are the one that knows your wife, her thoughts and opinions. What you are doing is nothing that many of us have gone through so don't feel bad about it, it's normal. You know that you will do it and it will happen when you are ready.
It's not an easy thing to do, to be sure. My suggestion would be to write it down. Just write it all down and then tell her you want to tell/read her something. Ask her to please hold any questions as this isn't easy for you, and then stick to the script. Just read it. It will take a lot of the guess work out of the explanation.
Also, it's clearly a fear that's keeping you in check. My experience in chatting with others is that these fears are based on solely predicting negative, if not abysmal, reactions. However, if all you can envision is an awful response, then your fear gets in the driver's seat and you're paralyzed. You must envision some outcomes that are neutral, if not possibly even good. Else you'll be a slave to those fears for even longer.
As I've stated before, the 'right time' never comes and the longer you wait the worse you'll feel about it. Further, no matter what the outcome - the bandaid is off! If the reaction is bad, well that's what you predicted as the most likely, but if the outcome is not bad, then you'll stew wishing you hadn't waited so long to tell her.
I wish you the luck and fortitude that you need, but only you can make it happen girl. ❤️
I agree, trying her bra or panties can be a good way to test the waters. Sure, it is best early in a relationship, but it does not have to be. Mostly it helps open up the conversation and get the conversation started is often the difficult part. Once talking the rest can be surprisingly easy. It is kind of like that first bra fitting...we are nervous as hell, but once we don't we find the whole thing surprisingly easy and wonder way we stressed over it for so long.
I also agree having a more adventurous wife can help, and that is where knowing your partner well.makes a big difference. My wife always likes fun and new things, so my wearing panties or a bra was just a "sure, why not" kind of thing. After that I simply told her how much I enjoyed it, and as my dressing has expanded, I reinforced how much pleasure I get from dressing. She wants me to be happy, and I want her to be happy, so as long as we pay attention to each other's wants and desires our relationship goes on wonderfully well...40 years so far.