Notifications
Clear all

Welcome to Crossdresser Heaven, a safe and welcoming place for everyone in the crossdresser community.

Join Crossdresser Heaven today to participate in the forums.

Feeling a little alone and stuck

23 Posts
10 Users
68 Reactions
777 Views
Posts: 40
Lady
Topic starter
(@bellerouge)
Trusted Member     North, France
Joined: 11 months ago

Hey everyone,

I hope this is the right place to share what's on my mind. I've been grappling with some feelings lately, and I really need a space to vent and seek advice.

I love crossdressing, but I often feel like I can't fully embrace it alone. Well, I'm not sure why, but I sense a need for support and encouragement to explore this aspect of myself further. I've always imagined having someone who could push me to new heights, someone who understands me. However, whenever I've tried to seek out such connections, I've encountered scammers and dead ends.

I'm curious if any of you have experienced similar feelings and how you've navigated them. Any advice or insights would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you all for listening

Reply
22 Replies
14 Replies
Managing Ambassador
(@ellyd22)
Joined: 2 years ago

Majestic Member     Norfolk, United Kingdom
Posts: 5221

@bellerouge 

Hey Ysabelle

From a personal perspective I was very nervous about signing up for CDH but I've found nothing but support and encouragement here from Day One. Admittedly I did kind of throw myself wholeheartedly into the whole thing ( 🙂 ), but I've definitely found that the more I've put into my interactions on the site the more I've got out. Yes, there have been a few budding friendships that kind of petered out, as is the way of these things ... but I have also made some lasting connections with some wonderful people and it really feels as though I've gained a new family.

The more you're on the site, the more you'll experience that as well 🙂

Another thing that you might try is using the site's Friend Finder:

Members – Crossdresser Heaven Forums

That might help you to find members who are local to you.

Nous sommes vraiment un groupe très amical et solidaire - il n’est pas nécessaire que vous vous sentiez seul 🙂

Hugs

Ellie x

Reply
(@bellerouge)
Joined: 11 months ago

Trusted Member     North, France
Posts: 40

@ellyd22 Thank you for your reply. Until now, I only felt good and warm things here. But I still feel that I need to dedicate more. The girls here are awesome with me, they are incredible, but I really fell a little lost with lots of information. I will try to come more and more to get everything and to understand it. Thank you.

Reply
Ambassador
(@lucyb112)
Joined: 2 years ago

Noble Member     Staffordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 1005

@bellerouge 

Hi Ysabelle,

This is EXACTLY the right place to share what’s on your mind.

Feeling lonely is perfectly normal and very common amongst us.

For many years I felt as if I was pretty much the only one who did this. When I joined here I was so nervous it took me 5 months to post an intro.

But what I’ve found is that we’re far from alone. I’ve made some great friends here, and although I’ve not met any of them in person yet, I feel as if I have a real support network.

So please, just embrace the site. You’ll find nothing but support and friendship here.

And yes, vent whenever you like. We’re always happy to listen.

If you feel the need to vent by PM, then I’d be perfectly happy with that

Hugs

Lucy 

 

Reply
(@bellerouge)
Joined: 11 months ago

Trusted Member     North, France
Posts: 40

@lucyb112 5 months? This means a lot to me, because it is clear that I'm not alone, and I'm not the only person who is shy. This support is so kind. Thank you. I will embrace it. However, I needed to post this, because I was really feeling alone on that.

Reply
Ambassador
(@jacquelinelarkspur)
Joined: 1 year ago

Famed Member     Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Posts: 1497

@bellerouge 

Ysabelle, I can confidently tell you that many of us have had feelings of loneliness in our crossdressing. There are various reasons for this, which we won't go into here. Let me reassure you of one thing; you may feel lonely but you are not alone. CDH is the best place on the internet to seek understanding and support from like minded ladies all over the world. Importantly, there are no scammers here; the CDH staff make sure of that!

A lot of crossdressers visit bars and clubs that are LGBTQ+ friendly. There may be venues in your vicinity you could go to where you would meet other crossdressers in safety. Would this be an option for you to consider?

Reply
(@bellerouge)
Joined: 11 months ago

Trusted Member     North, France
Posts: 40

@jacquelinelarkspur knowing that there are no scammers here is one of the best things! I feel that are a lot on the internet when we search for CD sites. 

I don't know where I could meet other crossdressers in safety. To be honest, I never thought of going to bars/clubs that are LGBTQ+ friendly. Well, I already went on these places several times with some gay friends, but I never related them to crossdressing.

Reply
Ambassador
(@alexina)
Joined: 1 year ago

Illustrious Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 2212

@bellerouge 

Hi, Ysabelle, loneliness and it's friend, sadness, are no strangers to crossdressers. The, often very secretive, nature of our passion can result in those feelings. That's why I was overjoyed to find so many others just like me in this wonderful place.

Share your feelings freely, there can't be many of us who have not, at one time or twenty, felt the same. We are here for each other in good times and the other kind, so I hope you can take some comfort from that. 

Love and hugs 

Allie x

Reply
(@bellerouge)
Joined: 11 months ago

Trusted Member     North, France
Posts: 40

@alexina Hi Allie. Yeah, I imagined you had the same feelings as me in the past. That's why I searched for your advice. I started crossdressing 6 months ago, and I really sought for people with more experience than me, because I felt that you had the same feelings at some moment. That is something that comforts me a lot. Thank you very much!

Reply
Guest
(@Anonymous 95235)
Joined: 12 months ago

Estimable Member
Posts: 245

@bellerouge Bonsoir Ysabelle, yes I can understand what you are saying but that is the reason why I joined this forum . I have close friends who ì can't talk to about Samantha but those who I can talk to are nothing but supportive and want to help with make up and finally get me out of the door. Some of the ladies on this site I feel I have known for years amd feel so lucky to read their stories and ventures outside that I can only dream about.   What I find inspiring is when I look at locations of the people on the forum.....everywhere ! And what's more everyone on here is here for each other so please remember you are not alone xx

 

Reply
(@bellerouge)
Joined: 11 months ago

Trusted Member     North, France
Posts: 40

@samanthaxxxx Bonsoir Samantha. Yeah, that's the reason why I joined this forum too. I don't know who would be supportive and who wouldn't in my real life. Here, I feel that everyone helps a lot. Thank you very much for your help, reading your post comforts me a lot.

Reply
Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 2 years ago

Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 4023

Welcome to CDH, Ysabelle!

Posted by: @bellerouge

I love crossdressing, but I often feel like I can't fully embrace it alone. Well, I'm not sure why, but I sense a need for support and encouragement to explore this aspect of myself further. I've always imagined having someone who could push me to new heights, someone who understands me.

Your profile indicates that you are around 35, single, and new to crossdressing. You have time to grow into a lifetime of crossdressing.

It is OK to be enthusiastic, but it could be  counterproductive to be anxious and wanting to speed up things. Mixing in relationships with other people so early in your development is overly complicating what you need to figure out about yourself, your style, your direction.

If you would like to find a crossdressing mentor, then you should take your time finding the right one. You don't need to form anything more than a professional type of relationship with a mentor.

If you are actually looking for a romantic relationship, then you might want to find a good therapist first, to help you figure out how you are going about all of this. You want to keep in control of yourself and who you bring into your close circle, and not get into situations that you may regret later.

CDH can help with the learning and development stages, but what you get out of the site is up to you.

 

 

Reply
(@bellerouge)
Joined: 11 months ago

Trusted Member     North, France
Posts: 40

@harriette Thank you for your awesome advice!

Yes, everything on my profile is true. However, I feel that I lost a lot of time without crossdressing. Maybe I'm feeling this, because I'm too anxious (I already treat this part in the therapist). Anyway, to be honest, I would like to find a mentor, not a romantic relationship by now. I also need to organize some thoughts on my style, direction, etc.. As, you said, I'm probably too excited and anxious and I really agree with that. 

Reply
Guest
(@Anonymous 95235)
Joined: 12 months ago

Estimable Member
Posts: 245

@bellerouge Hi Ysbella,  I experience the same feelings.  Would be wonderful to meet another lady or so to chat and learn from.  I came out to my SO a little over a year ago and my desire to dress and such as only increased from there. Well this morning my wife really surprised me by asking if I would like to meet other CD's to chat with and share experiences.  In Wyoming not an easy thing to pull off since there are no venues that are accepting.  We are planning a trip to Denver where I plan, with my wifes approval to spend alot of time as stephanie,  she even wants to go out to a show or something with stpehanie.  The crazy thing is she is encouraging me to put out feelers to meet another CD there.  Not sure if that will happen, but just so excited that she is ok with that

Reply
(@bellerouge)
Joined: 11 months ago

Trusted Member     North, France
Posts: 40

@stephaniewyo Hi Stephanie! It is nice to know that your wife is very supportive! I feel so happy for you! I hope your trip works well, and you meet another CD there. Not only that, but I'm excited for you now! Well, probably there some CDs where I live. I searched here in the CDH, but they aren't active. So, I have to search a little more, I think.

Reply
Posts: 1293
Ambassador
(@leonara)
Noble Member     Long Island,, New York, United States of America
Joined: 9 years ago

Ysabelle, you have reached the website where we offer friendship and support..in your CD journey.. I noticed you registered here a few weeks ago and I welcome you. At this site we have forums and articles for more information. I have been here for 8 years and have met many lovely ladies who have encouraged and supported me.. welcome 

warmest regards,  Leonara

Reply
1 Reply
(@bellerouge)
Joined: 11 months ago

Trusted Member     North, France
Posts: 40

@leonara Thank you Leonara, it is just something I feel. I arrived some days ago and everybody was warm to me, but I still kinda lost.

Reply
Posts: 110
Baroness
(@kendrawhite)
Reputable Member     Kansas, United States of America
Joined: 1 year ago

Bonjour, Ysabelle! Bienvenue a CDH! 

This is indeed a wonderful place for support, but I understand that it takes time to get to know people. I've been crossdressing off and on for several years, but only really embraced it as a part of myself last year. I am happy to lend what advice and support that I can, so please feel free to reach out. 

I am a Francophile, so I'd love to know more about where you live. I traveled to France in 2001, and it is one of my favorite places. 

A bientôt!

Kendra

 

Reply
1 Reply
(@bellerouge)
Joined: 11 months ago

Trusted Member     North, France
Posts: 40

@kendrawhite Merci! I live in France, but I'm not a Francophile. I'm fluent in French (language), but I'm not French. 🙂 However, I love living here too.

 

Anyway, I started to get curious about crossdressing during the pandemics, but I really started to embrace it last year. However, I feel so young on that, kinda afraid and lost too. 

Reply
Posts: 3446
Hostess
(@ab123)
Illustrious Member     Surrey, United Kingdom
Joined: 5 years ago

Loneliness is often a sad part of being a crossdresser Ysabelle. Back in the day there was nothing like this available so you found your own way. I was lucky to find acceptance among family and friends which was such a blessing. When this new age of communicating came along it was a revelation and, like you dipped my painted toenail into some web forums and most were not what I wanted. I did come across this site and watched from afar then saw that actually this was a vast community who were on my wavelength so took the plunge and signed up, I have never looked back.

I have seen some wonderful success stories and so many have been inspired to address many of their issues and take dressing to a new level. There are those like you who feel alone but have found so much support, advice and made wonderful friends. It is a connection that comforts and makes you feel very much part of a community that can be accessed any time and know you will get a response.

You will never be alone again.

Welcome Ysabelle.

Reply
1 Reply
(@bellerouge)
Joined: 11 months ago

Trusted Member     North, France
Posts: 40

@ab123 How did you deal with crossdressing without the internet? I'm curious now, because I buy everything online. I never liked going to the store to buy clothes (even male ones). So, it didn't change much for me.  It is so wonderful to know that there are many people that share this with me. However, I don't know how I will evolve now. I love to dress, but sometimes I'm afraid of make up or other things. It is nice to read everything here, but it is so much, I think I need to focus more.

Reply
Posts: 3446
Hostess
(@ab123)
Illustrious Member     Surrey, United Kingdom
Joined: 5 years ago

Hi Ysabelle,

In the days before internet but we had mail order which is basically the same thing as the internet but took a little longer. A catologue used to arrive and a form was filled and we waited. It was difficult when I lived with my parents but managed. Buying from store was more of a challenge and was under the usual guise of being for a girlfriend. Everything else to do with applying makeup, fashion styles and other tips was done by watching my sisters or mum or anything that appeared in the newspapers or magazines womens columns.

Now there are many tutorials on the internet on everything and anything about fashion and makeup that are such a help. These days too there is a more liberal attitude and going to shops in male mode and buying womens things is easier. Obviously that is dependent on where you live and attitudes. Bigger cities are a lot better.

I suppose the biggest thing is confidence in approaching things positively. I was also alone but when I felt I needed to progress coming out was at the top of the list. This I did by looking at who I knew, what was their attitude towards life and how you would see them being a confidante. It took a while but eventually told my mother which turned the tide for me. Some years later I chose a female work colleague as she was judged to be the right person and that went well too, yes I am lucky but I did my homework before telling them. I understand your need to find someone to support you, that doesn't mean finding a partner but an ally. 

You are about the age that I started to realise my dreams, it is never easy but with patience and work is achievable.

Remain positive and take your time.

 

Angela

Reply
Posts: 40
Lady
Topic starter
(@bellerouge)
Trusted Member     North, France
Joined: 11 months ago

Interesting to know how things works on the past. Sometimes, I forgot how things were in my childhood (before the internet got popular).

When, I arrived, I was searching for allies, and now I got them. 🙂

Probably, I wasn't too clear at my initial post, because sometimes it is hard to find the right words to express, but after reading all posts, some things got clearer. I still need to find my style, the things I like, the things I don't. You were very supportive until now, and I thank everyone for that. 

Reply

©[current-year] Crossdresser Heaven | Privacy Terms of Use | Link to usContact Vanessa | Advertise with Crossdresser Heaven

 
[kleo_social_icons]
Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Join our mailing list to receive the latest news and updates from Crossdresser Heaven.

You have Successfully Subscribed!