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I’m in a weird mood tonight. It's dichotomy of emotions.
I’m feeling SOOOOO girlie, and I dressed up in a black crinkle 3/4 length skirt with lace edging and white embroidery, a fancy white almost see-through button down with a close, lacy collar, 2 inch heels (my practical limit), and my hair with minimal makeup. I know there is a bar I could go out to right now and meet a gurl friend who's there every week this night if I wanted, but I”m feeling fragile as a CD. I don’t have the confidence or chutzpah for taking the looks (or not). I know that as soon as I got to the bar, I would feel myself shrinking. It seems like this is one time that I don't need to push myself out of my comfort zone.
I felt very exposed last night when I went to a party of a genderfluid friend of mine (FtM). They are a Wonderful human being, and they have been such a mentor to me. It was their 50th birthday party.
I have told several people individually about my gender identity who were actually at the party. I got a greeting from another person at the party (let's call her "G") that indicated to me that one of the people I told outed me to G. G said something to me in "code" when she arrived that sounded like she knew all about it. That set me back a bit. I’m feeling a little hurt at being outed, at not being the one to decide who will know and who won't (is that a control issue?), though G was very supportive in their ”coded” remark. I felt a little betrayed. I think I just need to stay home and lick my wounds tonight. Thank god I didn’t reject my Lorie. I feel so lovely right now. I get up from the computer every once in a while to walk around in my heels, and skirt flowing, and breasts leading the way, and I feel like a flipping princess!
I am glad you feel so pretty, Lorie, good for you. I understand the vulnerability you feel, but you will bounce back. You are a strong woman. Have a great day tomorrow.
Lovely story from the heart ♥️♥️♥️
Your evening and genulecting in a pensive mood..........beautiful. I also "do the mood" more and more often.
Dame Veronica
Hi Lorie , like you I can fluctuate between strong & not so strong , sometimes we really have to look after ourselves at so many levels .... focus on what makes you smile as s girl hopefully the smile turns into a growing strength . Despite being " outed" it sounds like you usually feel comfortable with the group you mentioned . Your stronger self isn't far away xx Tiff 👗👠🌈
Good for you Lorie. Just hang in there and enjoy your alone time.
Hi Lorie,
I think you made the right decision to stay in, best to go with your gut feelings.
Don't feel so bad about G ,unfortunately when yo tell people they can't keep things to themselves.
At least she was supportive it sounds,Thats a major step I think if someone you don't want to know finds out and their supportive.
I'm glad you got to enjoy Lorie and the heels and skirt.
Good for you Princess.
XOXO Patty
Tiff, yes, I know it is normal to experience contraction after expansion. Like a rubber band, we stretch ourselves then pull back.
Every word you say rings true. Thanks for your empathy, It's nice to know others are in the same perspective.
Hugs, Lorie
I think Samantha is right Lorie,
I am not there yet but,Once the cats out of the bag even though it may have some negative results,It must be a great relief to finally just be who you are.
And besides you look so cute why would you want to hide it.
Doesn't she look cute girls?
Love Patty
