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After a week of feeling totally male and no interest in anything feminine, this week I slowly swung back and then kept moving into a feminine experience that seemed new. I found a new layer of feminine that was a bit of a surprise.
As I was presenting female at home and at events with my sisters, there was a shift in how I felt. Not felt as in body experience, or as in enjoying the idea of being a woman. It was how a woman feels emotionally. I was so much more compassionate and loving toward other people. I might say that it was like putting on a new suit of clothes, but it was more like putting on a breathing apparatus that supplied a pure source of oxygen.
There was a stronger sense of gentle in my heart and mind. I noticed myself when I would get impatient and could move into understanding.
Knowing that I’m a 9 on the Eneagram, and that this type has an underlying anger, it was interesting to find love as a dominant emotion. I noticed that as I was expanding my loving nature, the anger wanted to find expression at times. Then I was able to release that anger.
These waves of anger in the midst of love is also a result of the Upper Limit Problem. When we feel great joy, the mind tends to pull us back down, as if there is danger in feeling good. It’s a Cro-Magnon evolution relic, and we can entrain our brains out of it.
Expansion and contraction. Two steps forward, one step back. Cycles of personal evolution, when seen from a 5000 foot view, is a vibration of life.
As I drove home after the event, I felt like I was swimming in these emotions of gentleness and love, coursing through my veins, opening my heart in a vulnerable way that was also strong and resilient.
Have you felt these waves of emotions of gentleness, kindness, love? Where were you when it came over you?
Hugs, Lorie
Hi Lorie, i think these feelings are all part and parcel of being femme. As long as i can remember, the feelings you describe have been part of my character from day one. Feelings of love, compassion, a need to care for and nurture are all part of my psyche. Sensitivity is another one. I think many of us 'inherit' these feelings in the sense that they become part of us, maybe they were there all the time but we could not tap into them. Its such a deep subject and i have no doubt that there is no singular answer to it. I can only speak from my own personal experiences. It is so hard to explain, but in a nutshell, all male emotions are 'forced' and being Femme comes naturally to me.
I hope that you have gained an inner peace and start building on your newly found emotions!! welcome to the joys of being Femme and all its emotions, no doubt you will find more along the way!! enjoy your journey to the full, have fun and most importantly.... be you! 🙂
Fiona-Ann xxx