Fetish or lifestyle

Hi Michele.   Fetish or lifestyle.... neither, or maybe both? Your situation isnt that  unusual, but the answer to the question will be different for everyone.  And sometimes the answer comes slow, sometimes its difficult.

You had stated that in the past year the yearning to dress has increased, and is evolving into a more complete dress beyond simply lingerie.  Just my guess, but I think as you continue to evolve and understand yourself that the answer will become clearer.

Stevie

I think for most of us who were leaning toward feminine things at an early age way before puberty it is definitely not a fetish but for whatever reason a mindset we were born with. For those who discovered a love for female lingerie and such at puberty or later it may well have begun as a fetish. With time a fetish can evolve into a female mindset too. All depends on the individual person. Thats my two cents.

Hi Michele, I do like Stevie's answer, but I'll add my thoughts about my journey.

For a very long time I only wore lingerie, then added items like a wig, skirt, top, to that to look a bit more complete, but I have enjoyed a fetish aspect of it as well. Though I also had the feeling of guilt afterwards, and at times decided not to do this again. Of course I could never keep that promise  either. This was in private for most of my life, though my wife did know as well.

However as far back as in the 90's I did long to get fully dressed up, and maybe even go somewhere. Sometime inside of me wanted to be more feminine, that just having fun.

I think that many of us go through the same steps, though some always feel they are trapped inside the wrong body and need to express their femininity full time to feel like themselves. Then there are those of us who need to express their feminine side only from time to time, and are otherwise happy being male.

Now I like to get dressed up whenever I can, but my dressing has evolved quite a bit, and in a way I have gained some and lost some too. By that I mean, now I want and need to get fully done up, with a nice wig, proper foundations with padding and makeup. Before I'd almost tear my male clothes off and put on a bra and panties, stockings or pantyhose and that was it. I do love the feel the silky hosiery on my legs too. Now instead of taking a few minutes to get dressed up, it takes me an half hour, or a lot more if I'm really getting dolled up for an outing.

My biggest regret? Is not accepting myself better years earlier, and that I wish I'd had some kind of a role model 25 years or more ago. It definitely would have been more complicated back then to do this, but I would have found a way, as so many others do.

You must try to be honest and true to yourself. Like so many others you might be feeling the pull towards being more feminine looking from time to time. Though if your path is to just enjoy the fetish of beautiful lingerie and hosiery, then enjoy!

Amy

Hi Michele Take the time to look up the word Fetish and see if it applies to your situation. It becomes a lifestyle if you choose to be a part of the life style. The CD/TG life style has a life of it own. You can choose to play a  large part or just a participant but your voice is needed to help make a change. Places like CDH play a large part in trying to help those who are quite and and still feel alone with there different thoughts of what is expected of because they were born with certain genitalia. I always loved the CD/TG life style I  I hope be a active participant again. The life style is filled with learning, fun and excitement, Meeting so many people from all walks of life. Finding acceptance was always so big for me. A fetish is defiantly something else I know it does not apply to me.

Luv Stephanie

Hi....

Fetish.

Noun

 A form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, item of clothing, part of the body, etc.

Now don't get me wrong....what anyone on the site does with their crossdressing life is totally their choice....as they say " whatever floats your boat "....

My lifestyle is totally committed to grace, because I love her and I love living her way.....the only gratification I get is looking as pretty and as female as I can..... definitely not for sexual fulfilment.....it has never been about that, but because it makes me feel happiest.....and gives me a freedom, a peace of mind.

In my case, I almost take fetish as an insult......

This in no way changes how I feel or interact with any of you.....it's just how I feel.....you do what you have to do....your choice.

Huggs, grace xx

I’m not even sure what to call it. All I know is that there is usually no sexual element in dressing for me. Sometimes I feel so feminine that I feel a desire to be with a man. But most times I just feel comfortable in women’s clothing.

There was a time, like you, that there was a sexual release and then the desire to crossdress was over for the moment. Now I have come to embrace the my femininity. There is no sexual connotation to it at all for me, there is just the desire to be female.

Hugs, Liara

Hmm. I started at puberty, and there was most definitely a sexual aspect to the act of dressing up. However, once dressed, that quickly fades, leaving that wonderful warm relaxed feeling most of us are familiar with.

So, yes, fetishism is in the mix, but it's not the whole cake, not by a long shot.

Connie

xxx

I guess it depends how you define either, and I've never liked the term "fetish" when hearing CD'ing described, makes it sound dirty. I'm an extremely sexual person so for me a large part of it is sexual given I wear beautiful/romantic lingerie and have a boyfriend to wear it to bed for but at the same time I also consider it a lifestyle since it is very much a part of who I am and not entirely about the sexual side. I look at it as a way of expressing my feminine side and shouting to the world that I'm a CD'er, even though I'm not out.

I think most of us have had at one time or another a sexual undertone to it. But for me it's way more than a sexual thing. As with any GG it's more of who I want to project as. It's my style, persona and alter ego. I have a certain look and aura that I want to project. And let's get real for a second, I LOVE being Trisha. She's that person my day to day man mode can't be.

Trisha

Ladies this post has now been closed as it was sailing a little too close to the wind for the forum.

Dawn (Admin)