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First Time Dressed After Accepting Myself

18 Posts
15 Users
107 Reactions
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Posts: 11
Lady
Topic starter
(@canadianeagle97)
Trusted Member     North Carolina, United States of America
Joined: 10 months ago

This morning I knew I’d have a couple hours home alone so I made plans to fully dress up. I’ve obviously done this before but its been at least several months. Anytime I had done it before I hadn’t accepted or understood what I was yet. I always felt so ashamed and had thoughts of “what am I doing, this is wrong, I need to take these off” (even though I knew I enjoyed it). This morning was the first time I dressed and knew inside that what I was doing was really okay. I put on some light makeup, bra, panties, thigh high socks, and a black dress. I couldn’t stop staring at myself in the mirror in complete shock. It felt like there was somebody else looking back at me, and I was more than okay with it. I was deeply happy with it. I honestly didn’t understand the idea of having the female alter ego when dressed, but suddenly it made absolute sense. I really just stood there and stared at the person in the mirror. Like a deer in headlights, but without any sense of fear at all.  

I don’t know if I’ll ever truly be able to describe this feeling in words. 

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17 Replies
8 Replies
Ambassador
(@lucyb112)
Joined: 2 years ago

Noble Member     Staffordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 1005

@canadianeagle97 

Hi Bella,

What you’ve described is quite common.

Many of us, myself included, had many years of guilt, shame and even disgust at ourselves for wanting to dress.

But then one day it all just makes sense, and after that life feels so much better.

I can’t really find the words to describe it either, but it just feels right.

 

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Managing Ambassador
(@ellyd22)
Joined: 2 years ago

Majestic Member     Norfolk, United Kingdom
Posts: 5221

@canadianeagle97 

Yep, I absolutely know that feeling.

Bella ... welcome to the club 🙂

Hugs

Ellie x

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Ambassador
(@alexina)
Joined: 1 year ago

Illustrious Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 2210

@canadianeagle97 

Hi, Bella, you don't have to describe it, I think we all know it!

When I started crossdressing again after quite a lot of years, I had purged everything so I went on a binge-buying frenzy. Among the underwear I bought was a suspender girdle and a few pairs of stockings. I chose to wear tights though, mostly for comfort but also because I associated the girdle and stockings with a sexual thrill and that's not how I feel now when I dress.

However, I have a pair of real non-stretch nylons and was curious how they'd feel on freshly waxed legs (amazing!) so I duly used the girdle to hold them up. To my surprise and delight, it didn't feel sexual at all, it felt fun and perfectly natural. I said this to my wife and her reply was, "Of course, that's how women see it".

So that's why I say you don't have to describe the feeling, it's wonderful.

Thanks for putting it in writing!

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Baroness
(@chrisfp99)
Joined: 2 years ago

Famed Member     London , Kent, United Kingdom
Posts: 1733

Hey Allie, I love a suspender girdle, more commonly known in modern parlance as an OBG. But what's wrong with feeling sexual when you're wearing it? I know I do, and I'm more than happy with that. Of course I don't have the luxury of sharing this side of my being with my wife xx.

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Ambassador
(@alexina)
Joined: 1 year ago

Illustrious Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 2210

@chrisfp99 

Hi, Chrissie, I don't mean to imply that there is anything wrong with feeling sexual, just that it's no longer the main driver for me. I love love love that dressing to suit my feminine side now feels so natural 😊.

Allie x

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Baroness
(@chrisfp99)
Joined: 2 years ago

Famed Member     London , Kent, United Kingdom
Posts: 1733

So happy for you Bella. Lovely that you have reached a natural level of acceptance. I dress ridiculously occasionally but I have never questioned it. It's just something I do that gives me a warm sexy feel inside and I'm completely comfortable with that. It would be a different matter if my wife were to discover my naughty secret but I am obsessively careful xx.

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Lady
(@jillannquinn)
Joined: 4 years ago

Noble Member     Reno, Nevada, United States of America
Posts: 627

@canadianeagle97 Every word you wrote makes perfect sense. Far too many of us have been through that cycle of quick enjoyment followed by guilt, shame, and disgust. And that would have continued on if we hadn’t changed our point of view.

For me, that occurred when I told my wife that I wanted to start wearing panties and maybe a bra. SHE was the one who made me understand that I was a cross dresser (for some reason that never entered my mind) and that it was alright to be one. Suddenly the guilt vanished like smoke from a match on a windy day.

The first time I was fully dressed with makeup I just stood in front of my mirror and couldn’t believe my eyes or how happy I felt. I even said out loud, “Hi Jill, it’s so nice to finally meet you.” So yes, I felt those indescribable feelings too and I’m happy that you’re now experiencing them for yourself. Take care.

Hugs, Jill

 

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Lady
(@jillleanne)
Joined: 2 years ago

Prominent Member     Renfrew, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 605

@canadianeagle97 you don’t need to explain Bella, many of us have been there also. Oh my what euphoria!!!  It’s far more than just a rush isn’t it? It’s thrilling, confusing, heart pounding, an emotional high, rapid viewing, breath taking, the list goes on. All mithin moments it seems, never long enough. I’ve been out for years now and those feelings have dwindled in a way. I still take pride in how well I look each day. I have toned it all down considerable but still enjoy passing a mirror in a stor3 and doing a quick glance to see myself and how feminine I present. Always get a little buzz from that. Lol

hugs, Jillleanne

 

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Posts: 210
Guest
(@Anonymous 95305)
Estimable Member
Joined: 11 months ago

Betty! You don’t have to describe the feeling! We KNOW the feeling! I LOVE the feeling! It’s wonderful! And it’ll happen again and again!
 I also love that you got to experience it! I’m very happy for you 

Sheryl

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Posts: 132
Duchess
(@theapat)
Reputable Member     Massachusetts, United States of America
Joined: 1 year ago

Dear Bella,

I call it EXHILARATING....and don't ever allow that feeling to be any less.

Sincerely and With Love,

Thea

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Posts: 210
Lady
(@lillie)
Reputable Member     South Carolina, United States of America
Joined: 4 years ago

Bella, you need not have any shame in what you are doing, it is who we are. The why, how come we do this is not the, feeling of shame.  I have dressed many times; I have not had any guilt. I believe it who we are, SO does not understand it all, but I enjoy it. Doing hair, makeup whatever. Live in the moment and enjoy and let all other thought pass. It is all about you at that time. 

Shame and guilt does not have room to invade our space.

 

Lynne

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Posts: 485
(@justnikki)
Prominent Member     Seattle, Washington, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

Ah, yes... when the shame and uncertainty yields to joy and self-acceptance! Congratulations, Bella! I remember well when I stopped fighting and shaming myself and just allowed myself to be all I am. The most liberating day of my life! Welcome to the other side!

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Posts: 210
Guest
(@Anonymous 95305)
Estimable Member
Joined: 11 months ago

Enjoy that feeling Bella, sometimes it takes years to get there…as Ellie said,”Welcome to the Club”’ 😀 I am experiencing it as I type!

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Posts: 2172
 J J
Lady
(@jjandme)
Famed Member     California, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

Been there, dine that

Yeah, thus has happened to many of us, and it is a unique experience for each of us that can be related in general terms, but is very individual emtion to each one of us.

Not all who dress have experuenced this, but I hope some day they do. It is a huge weight lifted from our shoulders. I had come to this same realization quite some time ago, but had an wven deeper appreciation for it recently. I was away for the weekend skiing and had the hoise to.myself so.dressed.fully.en femme and was just.going about my evening when I happened to.see.myself.in a mirror. I just.stopped and looked, smiled and then started to cry because I felt so happy and content. I am not one to cry, though it seems to happen more as I get older or maybe get more femme, but they were tears of joy. 

Like.most had had periods of guilt and confusion ovwr why I dressed, but long ago.came to the conclusion that I.enjoy it, that it brings me.pleasure and that I do not need.a reason. I just enjoy it like I.enjoy my.pets or.a.walk on the beach...they all just bring me joy.

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Posts: 1805
Baroness Annual
(@d44)
Famed Member     New York, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

It is truly an exhilarating, life-altering experience when you finally recognize, accept and welcome your inner woman into your life. I am so thankful that I got to experience that sensation two years ago and am glad that you have as well.

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Posts: 1062
Duchess Annual
(@robertaf)
Noble Member     Louisiana, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

I remember well the first time i looked in the mirror and saw a woman looking back at me. Could have stayed there for hours just soaking it in.

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Posts: 1461
(@finallyfiona)
    Leighton Buzzard, Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 year ago

I only discovered my feminine side in recent years, and was able to experiment alone at my own house before going 'home' to my OH's place where we live.  Since I've  already accepted Fiona to the extent that I'm now out to everyone close to me, I don't expect I am actually going to get much in the way of guilt.  However, the feeling of seeing Fiona in full make-up smiling radiantly back out of the mirror was, and still is, completely liberating.  I really feel like me when I see that, possibly more than I do when seeing my male self (who doesn't smile much!).

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