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16 Posts
8 Users
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Posts: 269
Duchess Annual
Topic starter
(@emmat)
Honorable Member     I don't do cities ;-), Powys, United Kingdom
Joined: 9 months ago

To cut a long story short, at a small barbie I went to yesterday, someone made a comment about medication that had a side effect of promoting breast growth.

"What man would want to grow breasts?". Polite little titters, and I'm just thinking "well, actually, I think I might be ok with that". 

This guy seems nice enough, it was just an off the wall comment. It wasn't intentionally barbed or anything like that. But what to do? Confront the issue? Stand up and be counted? I'm not good at thinking on my feet, and I was happy to let it slide, but he suffers badly from long covid, and I asked "if it cured your condition, would that make it worth doing?". I suppose it was a bit of an open goal, because he very quickly agreed that perhaps it might indeed be a price worth paying.

For me though , the nice thing is that my friends / hosts know about me now, and (much) later that night hubby was quietly dozing on the settee, leaving just me and his SO to crack open another bottle of red, and started chatting about the comment, and then about breasts and bras and other things. I weaved back home through an empty village at 3AM.

It's lovely to come here and feel part of a community, it's even lovelier to have an accepting friend in real life.

 

 

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15 Replies
9 Replies
(@finallyfiona)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Leighton Buzzard, Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 1417

@emmat 

Having real-life friends who know and accept your femme side is a game-changer, isn't it?  I'm so happy for you eM 🙂

Hugs,
Fiona xxx

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Duchess Annual
(@emmat)
Joined: 9 months ago

Honorable Member     I don't do cities ;-), Powys, United Kingdom
Posts: 269

@finallyfiona 

Bless you Fi, thanks. It's still a work in progress with others I have told. there's reasons to be optimistic, but I'll just take it as it comes.

eM x

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Ambassador
(@alexina)
Joined: 1 year ago

Famed Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 2016

@emmat 

Emma, that's lovely. Did they not know beforehand then? 

I'm getting bolder and/because I'm comfortable now but I don't think I'll share what I do with any friends or acquaintances. I am thinking of sharing with my elder daughter though, I think she'd be shocked, happy and supportive.

It's always good to hear positive accounts like yours 😊

Allie x

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Duchess Annual
(@emmat)
Joined: 9 months ago

Honorable Member     I don't do cities ;-), Powys, United Kingdom
Posts: 269

@alexina 

Hi Allie,

She knew. She was one of a small circle of friends I told quite recently, so it's still early days. I have told my two daughters, and it didn't  phase them. I can't guarantee how it will pan out with your daughter, but love goes a long way.

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(@finallyfiona)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Leighton Buzzard, Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 1417

@alexina 

Sending you hugs, Allie 🤗  I know that's a big step, but from what you've told me about her, I really think that could be such a positive one for you.

Fiona xxx

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Ambassador
(@alexina)
Joined: 1 year ago

Famed Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 2016

@finallyfiona @emmat 

Thanks, both. It's not imminent and I have to discuss it with my wife first, I'm actually more concerned about that than about telling my daughter!

I'll keep you posted.

Allie x

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Managing Ambassador
(@lizk)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 3753

@emmat 

I'm happy for you Emma that you've got a circle of supportive friends IRL.  Feeling accepted makes a huge difference in how we see ourselves.  That confidence boost opens doors to more possibilities.

Being trans, I'm out to the entire world.  Most people I encounter just don't care.  Everyone that knows me is either accepting or supportive.  But I do occasionally hear an ignorant offhand remark.  And I will almost always take it as an opportunity to increase their awareness. 

I worked on my next-door neighbor for several months.  When I first came out to him, he couldn't understand why anyone would transition.  Today I'd call him an advocate.  He's also become a trusted friend.

I think it's about time to reach for that bottle of red that's beckoning....

Hugs, Liz

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Duchess Annual
(@emmat)
Joined: 9 months ago

Honorable Member     I don't do cities ;-), Powys, United Kingdom
Posts: 269

@lizk 

Thanks Liz. 

Enjoy a glass (or two). I'll be staying away from the corkscrew tonight 😉

eM x

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Lady
(@margprodue)
Joined: 3 years ago

Noble Member     Madison, Wisconsin, United States of America
Posts: 1058

@lizk  Great to hear that Liz.  I have found similar results the few times that I'm questioned.  I just say that I'm intersex and then launch into my 60 second infomercial on intersex people in the world.  I usually don't have any problem and like you many times get an understanding convert.  I thinks that increasing awareness is the way of the future.  Marg

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Posts: 2081
 J J
Lady
(@jjandme)
Famed Member     California, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

Your response about medical side effects was perfect, and all you needed to say. If that bloke doesn't want breasts, that is his choice. It is your choice who you tell, and it is nice to have a confidant you can discuss dressing with. The whole world does not need to know, unless you want it to...it is yoir choice and no one elses.

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Posts: 1197
(@rebeccabaxter)
    Cornwall, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 year ago

I am taking a medication that can have the side effect of promoting breast growth. I have been taking it for two months now and there is no sign of breasts, although it's full effects are not supposed to happen until after six months. I'm not sure I want to grow breasts as I hear they are likely to be asymmetric, not very big, and overall, rather disappointing. I'm hoping therefore that it doesn't happen.

I am, though, desperate that the main reason for taking them does the job (this subject has been covered elsewhere).

 

Becca

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4 Replies
Baroness
(@annaredhead)
Joined: 10 months ago

Famed Member     Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 1671

@rebeccabaxter I am hoping that the medication works as it should for you.

Hugs,

Anna

 

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(@rebeccabaxter)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 1197

@annaredhead 

I let you know after the 7th August (hospital outpatients appointment); fingers crossed.

Becca

xxx

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Baroness
(@annaredhead)
Joined: 10 months ago

Famed Member     Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 1671

@rebeccabaxter Yes, please keep me posted,

Anna xx

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Duchess Annual
(@emmat)
Joined: 9 months ago

Honorable Member     I don't do cities ;-), Powys, United Kingdom
Posts: 269

@rebeccabaxter 

Hope all goes well Becca. The side effects of drugs quite often are defined by 'worst case scenarios' which are unlikely to manifest fully. If the docs say 'take this' , I'd trust their judgement.

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