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I have been diagnosed with gender dysphoria recently and I have pretty mixed feelings. In one hand I find it a bit shocking that it is official and I am terrified of the future what it might bring. On the other hand I feel a great relief that I know it is real not just my assumption. I'm still in the understanding and accepting phase.
Could you please give some advices or mental support in that matter? It would be really appreciated.
All the best,
Evelyn
@sophia91 Evelyn always said you were a beautiful woman and I believe if you’re going to transition you have my support even though that don’t mean much because we’re not friends on this website but if you have been diagnosed with gender dysphoria I believe I will be happier living as a woman. If I was younger I would definitely transition and live as a woman my time is passed. Unfortunately, the future is yours can you be you the beautiful woman you are
@jasminejeffries75 Thanks for you support Jasmine. I really appreciate it 😊
@sophia91 Evelyn, I value your openness for advice and support. You'll receive both , some from girls who've experienced feelings and thoughts as you have now. A phrase in your post keeps coming to my mind: " ...and am terrified of the future what it might bring."
I'm wondering if you deeply fear changes in for your very supportive wife? Possibly a future of you 24/7 as Evelyn? Perhaps your terrified of an attraction to men, wanting to be treated fully as a lady and ...what would the limits /boundaries be ? Just some initial thoughts, questions. You certainly have much to absorb, consider, process, talk over with close friends, your wife, therapist. My advice: do that, and write journal notes. Hugs and💐.
@sophia91 Fully understandable. Your wife, child, other family members...how would they initially react to a full time or much of the time Evelyn? And after their first reactions? I know you know that no one can say for certain. You have replies of first hand experiences and in the know advice. CDH support, care💐
@sophia91
I've struggled with gender issues since I was four years old. When I was diagnosed with gender dysphoria ten years ago, I was in a dark place. Decades of ignoring who I really am had taken its toll.
I was terrified of a miserable future. That's what doing nothing meant. Instead, I saw my diagnosis as an opportunity. An opportunity to be happy....for the rest of my life.
Guess what happened....
I had a good gender therapist. She pushed me to ask myself the hard questions I'd avoided. There were a few years of undoing the traumas of my past. Then she challenged me to do the work of discovering who I really am. Among other things, that meant meeting others like me. That was how I found CDH.
I tell girls all the time that CDH changed my life. There's a lot of ways that's true but it all came down to one thing. Meeting other girls. CDH does that better than any other site I've found. But for me, online wasn't enough. I needed face time. I joined this site specifically to meet other girls in real life.
In real life is when the changes really happen. Living it. Being me full-time for a weekend every chance I got. I was hanging with my sisters. Mostly in Palm Springs but LA and SD too. I built a strong network of dear friends. Those weekends we spent together did something that no other thing in my life could do. They gave me relief from my dysphoria. That's how I came to understand I'm trans and I needed to transition.
I've never been happier.
I hope this helps. Drop me a line if you want to chat. You're not alone.
Hugs, Liz
@lizk Thank you Liz. Next month there's gonna be another trans evening in a local bar where I'm definitely going to go. I hope I can find the same kind of experience like you did.
@lizk Thanks Liz that’s the advise I needed! I’m in Maryland and really want to meet other girls in real life here. Hoping to find someone to spend time with and be free to be me. Jen
@sophia91 I'm happy for you that you have an official diagnosis and I can certainly relate to the mixed feeling that it brings. My best advice is to find a professional who is well versed in gender that can help guide you as you proceed. I found someone and she helped me immeasurably. I waited a long time before opening myself to this and caused a lot of avoidable suffering for myself. Also, be open to your feelings and allow yourself to receive and process them. I was in denial for a long time and time I could have spent happier was wasted.
I hope you find your happiness soon. You are the one who is best suited to decide what this entails!
Lauren
@sophia91 If you accept this and your 100% sure of the diagnosis then Im sure this is going to be a very stressful time for you getting everyone up to speed thats so tough and overwhelming . over the many years of my obsession with CD I was always confused thought I wanted to be female 100% of the time but I was also never getting the opportunities to explore either . its been a few years Since I have been free to explore River and its only been recently I have been realizing that Im only a part timer even though I think about it alot. If your not 100% sure though definitely get a second diagnosis. I hope and pray either way you will come out on top. Take Care Of yourself. RC
Evelyn, I can't pretend to understand what it feels like to have gender dysphoria as I am just a man that likes to wear women's clothes with nothing deeper than that. I do hope someone here on CDH steps up to give you the help and support you desire, someone more knowledgeable than I in these matters. In any event, for what it's worth, you have my support.
If it helps, your photographs do you great justice in your chosen gender of dress.
Hugs
Becca
xx
You appear to have a confirmation of what you have believed all along. Naturally you have all these mixed emotions but having a diagnosis doesn't mean any immediate actions. Indeed you say you are in the understanding and accepting stage which is your opportunity to think where you wish to go with this. At this stage it is best to have discussions with your partner, that is very important as what you do will affect her as well.
Being gender dysphoric is a diagnosis only and it is up to you how you manage the dysphoria. For some the end is to have a full transition for others it could be adaptions to lifestyle to accommodate the feminine side with consideration to circumstances. There is no 'one size fits all' solution, it is individual.
The main thing is to take your time and never rush into anything but do involve your partner, be very honest. It may be an idea to talk to your doctor or consider counseling
@ab123 Hi Angela, thanks for your advice. I definitely will share in the near future with my wife but first I have to settle down with this diagnosis.
This is just some one giving there opinion to you, you do what you want to do not what someone is telling you to do
I would ask you to consider that advice was asked for. Advice is a noun that means an opinion or suggestion about what someone should do or how they should act in a given situation. It is not compelling or telling them what to do.
On these pages we are frequently asked to give advice or an opinion on many topics which garner responses, it is part of what this site does in help and support to girls who ask.
On Utube is a "Dr Z" who has many tutorials and comments on the subject. I'm not saying i agree with every comment, but you will find a lot of information on it there.
@robertaf thanks Roberta, yes I have been watching her videos for a time and I recognised myself in so many things she's been talking about.
I have been coping with gender dysphoria for years. I could easily go either way. My family is holding me in male form, if I was alone I think I would transition. Oh what a dilemma.
My situation too.
Hi Evelyn!
My sincerest thoughts go out to you. It can be very shocking to hear this diagnosis, but at the same time it’s something you probably knew all along.
I too was diagnosed a couple years ago and I felt a great mix of emotions. Shock, disappointment, sadness, happiness, relief, joy. It was all so much. The feelings are still there, but like so many have said here, you learn to accept it and see it for what it is. If embraced, happiness awaits you. I’ve only embraced some of it, because I just can’t leave my past and what I’ve built (family, relations, status, etc.). I’ll continue to live a double life and enjoy Lisa as much as I possibly can.
You’re young, with an understanding and supportive wife. Your whole world is in front of you and being Evelyn makes you happy. Your looks and youth are perfect to be what you choose. I wouldn’t worry and I would focus on happiness. All my best to you.
Lisa
