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Getting carded

16 Posts
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Posts: 53
Lady
Topic starter
(@emmjack3)
Trusted Member     Salem, Virginia, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

How do you prep for / handle getting carded at a bar or restaurant when in full dress mode?  As a 60-ish newby CD, I'm prepared to pay cash for things whenever paying for something in public but what about purchasing alcohol? Having spent a weekend en femme, I brought wine to drink for the weekend outside of restaurants fearing carding. I went out for brunch Sunday morning and, without thinking, ordered a bloody Mary that I found on the menu in a restaurant I didn't expect to see it in. I butchered my femme voice throughout certain that the hostess (gave her my lady name for waiting list) and waitress were totally on to me. The waitress was very kind and gracious and never asked to see ID, gratefully. It wasn't that I considered my potential embarrassment in a tight, crowded restaurant.  But what should I do at a bar? I can only imagine them scrutinizing my real ID and asking me to take off my wig and sunglasses to confirm my identity!

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15 Replies
Posts: 251
Lady
(@justplainrachel)
Reputable Member     Wollongong, New South Wales, Australia
Joined: 9 years ago

I've been stopped by the police for a random breath-test, whilst en femme, and had to show my photo licence. The officer simply glanced at it and then me and was OK. And last night I dealt with security at a local club - again I used the male-looking driving licence as ID (beard and everything), and was allowed in en femme.

YMMV, but I suspect that people who regularly look at IDs as part of their job are pretty good at seeing through our 'disguise' 🙂

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Posts: 935
Guest
(@Anonymous 47410)
Prominent Member
Joined: 6 years ago

Hi Emma,

I am not familiar with laws in Virginia (location listed on your profile), but here in Georgia we are allowed to go cross dressed to a state Driver's License Services office and simply request that they make an official Georgia state-issued ID card for us.  The photo on the ID will show us en femme.  Check with your local Driver's License authorities in Virginia.

I have never felt the need to get a state ID, but many of the girls in my support group want one, if for nothing else, just because the photo is them cross dressed.

Here is what I do, when asked for ID, when I am cross dressed.  I look directly at the person requesting ID and hand them my driver's license that shows me as a male.  I then say, this is my official legal ID.  I am the person in the photo, but today, I am cross dressed as a female.  I have yet to ever have a problem.  Moreover, I have been stopped a couple times by police, and I hand them the driver's license and say nothing.  The officers both times asked me if I was the person shown in the photo, and I said yes.  Both times both officers then asked if they should address me as ma'am or sir.  I said ma'am and was then addressed that way.  Thus, that is why I don't even feel the need to get a state-issued ID card.  I just don't need it.

 

Hugs to you, Emma!

Peggy Sue

 

 

 

 

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Posts: 53
Lady
Topic starter
(@emmjack3)
Trusted Member     Salem, Virginia, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

Thanks!  That's exactly the kind of advice I was looking for. Have you attempted to alter your voice on such or any occasions or do you just use your male persona voice?

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Posts: 935
Guest
(@Anonymous 47410)
Prominent Member
Joined: 6 years ago

Well, things must be different in some States of the USA compared to Australia (at least in Tasmania where I live) as I don't know of any Australian States that allow CD's to get a duplicate drivers licence with a photo showing the owner dressed en femme.

My only experience of getting 'carded' occurred many years ago after driving home late one night after attending the local casino where I had only consumed one glass of wine. I was pulled over by a policeman and breathalysed (thankfully I was well under the limit) and was then asked to show my drivers licence. The policeman had a good look at my photo and then said in a slightly hysterical voice 'that's not you'! So, in the deepest voice I could muster then said to him 'yes it is'! The poor guy was speechless for what seemed like a long time, but then handed me back my licence and said 'you can go'.

Ever since that experience I always carry a set of drab clothes in case I get caught over the alcohol limit and have to make an involuntary trip down to a local police station.

Hugs to you all, Michelle74, xx

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Posts: 2181
Ambassador
(@skippy1965)
Famed Member     Richmond, Virginia, United States of America
Joined: 9 years ago

Legally, always ALWAYS use your state issued ID not any kind of “fake”. Thatvis awesome if a state is willing to give you an ID in “femme mode” but most states will not unless that is how you present all ur time. I always HAVE my ID regardless of mode, but being 54 I rarely if ever get carded for alcohol (my pics on site-except my ones from more than 2-3 years ago are me with my own natural hair). I definitely don’t have a femme voice but have never been refused service of alcohol nor am I usually treated poorly by anyone. In fact I get ma’am’Ed in male mode (or what I call “stealth Cyn mode” quite often (due to the hair and earrings I suspect). Definitely in any interactions with law enforcement or TSA, etc.-use your legal ID; they are trained to deal with the situation (see Wanda’s article about TSA or my articles about my travel experiences to esprit conferences In both stealth and in full Cyn mode). A smile and positive attitude does wonders to disarm folks! When I get my license renewed next month, I’m gonna leave my hair DOWN instead of the usual ponytail I wear In stealth mode, and my license will then even more closely resemble my full Cyn mode presentation. As I know another member posted when they show their ID, you can just say “yes that’s me-no one gets a good picture at DMV!
Cyn

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Posts: 53
Lady
Topic starter
(@emmjack3)
Trusted Member     Salem, Virginia, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

That's funny... I like that DMV pic response.

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Posts: 1748
Duchess
(@985anythinggoes)
Noble Member     New Orleans, Louisiana, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

I'm 38, I've never been carded yet, but I'm in New Orleans so no one cards anyway! I think it would be nice to have both a drab and Samantha ID. I mean they are two totally different people.

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Posts: 388
Lady
(@sandymae)
Reputable Member     Tacoma, Washington, United States of America
Joined: 7 years ago

I don't prepare anyway and if legitimately asked by someone who has the right I show my license.

This does not come up often and usually when buying something more expensive with a VISA as I have "check photo id" written on the card. When asked I simply show my ID and say thank you for checking. Some people look very carefully and others hardly give you a glance. I am a cash kind of person so this is not common but in my 10 years of going out it might happen a couple times a year.

I was carded once at a nightclub. Being around 58 or 59 at the time I was shocked and asked "Really?" Of course I gave him my license but wondered if was looking to find out if I was a female or male-whatever!

I was stopped by the police while I was walking but they did not ask for ID though we talked for some time.

Everyone in all these situations have been very polite to me including the 2 policemen!

Like others have said-Do not use any type of fake ID. That is trouble waiting to happen.

Several of my friends have VISA cards in there fem name which you might like to do. For me I see no reason plus if they ask for ID-what are you going to give them at that point in time.

Sandy

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Posts: 935
Guest
(@Anonymous 47410)
Prominent Member
Joined: 6 years ago

Emma,

I don't alter my voice.  I speak in my normal male voice.

 

Peggy Sue

 

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Posts: 935
Guest
(@Anonymous 47410)
Prominent Member
Joined: 6 years ago

I am reading some of the comments, and it would appear I did not make myself clear enough.

I can only speak for what is done in the state of Georgia.  Here in Georgia, a CD, if they chose to, can go to a Driver's License Service office en femme and request that a state-issued ID card be issued to you, with a photo, showing you cross dressed.

Here is where I think some misunderstanding entered.  The state-issued ID card (in Georgia)  is -NOT- a duplicate driver's license, and it is NOT valid for operating a motor vehicle.  It is an ID card, issued for ID purposes only.  Even though the photo is of you en femme, your male name will still be on the card, because that is your LEGAL name.  Name changes require a separate legal process, through the court system.

Sorry for any confusion I may have caused.

I was cross dressed today in a pretty floral dress and a new bob-style wig.  Makes me giddy, like the little girl I am.  Being a CD is so much fun!

 

Peggy Sue in Atlanta, Georgia

 

 

 

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Posts: 935
Guest
(@Anonymous 47410)
Prominent Member
Joined: 6 years ago

Roxanne,

Talk to Phoebe, at Sigma Epsilon, she is the expert on the state-issued IDs and has actually taken several of the girls to driver's services and walked them through the process.

 

Peggy Sue

 

 

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Posts: 53
Lady
Topic starter
(@emmjack3)
Trusted Member     Salem, Virginia, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

Thanks Peggy Sue!  Your final comments ("giddy") resonate!  I was ordering a bob online about the time you were writing those words!  Can't wait... eager as a school girl!

Emma

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Posts: 1293
Ambassador
(@leonara)
Noble Member     Long Island,, New York, United States of America
Joined: 9 years ago

Thank for your very important information to all CD's including myself ... Leonars

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Posts: 935
Guest
(@Anonymous 47410)
Prominent Member
Joined: 6 years ago

Thank you for clearing up the confusion Peggy Sue.

I hope that you are going to post a photo or 2 of your floral dress and new wig style!

Hugs from Michelle74, xx

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