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There are several problems with getting older, in no particular order: (1) Even on the best of days, I can't look attractive anymore. Conversely older women are nearly invisible, so that help me blend it. (2) I'm having significant balance problems. Heels are contraindicated. I'm confine to flats. (3) Father time is marching on. I may die soon, either suddenly or over a period of time. What will happen to my stash, which is quite extensive. In my regular world, only my wife know about my hobby, but she doesn't ask or snoop (to the best of my knowledge). Someone is going to find my stash, sooner rather than later.
My wife is having cognitive and mobility issues. She may soon require a higher level of care outside them home. It's horrible to watch the degradation in her life, and I'm having a hard times handling the additional demands, even though some of them are fun. For example, sometimes she needs me to hook up her bra.
@sometimessteffi I'm very sorry to hear of your issues, Steffi. 🙁
It is one of the main reasons that at 52 I just threw caution to the wind and started going out. I know those times are on my horizon and I wanted to get as much out of this as I could.
FYI, we do have local events in the Arlington area fairly regularly if you ever want to get out. 🙂
Steffi -
Sorry to hear about your wife, I wish you the best taking care of her.
I appreciate your dilemma and wish I had an answer. It is something I don't think about but should as well.
Is it possible to write instructions and leave them in an envelope, tell a trusted friend that should something happen to you where it is and to follow the instructions.
XOXO
Suzanne
Steffi I'm so sorry for your wife and the best of luck to you both!!!!!!!! I too am getting closer to that time in my life too being in my late 60's and I think a lot of what your talking about, I'm by my self and and have two daughters and I worry about what I should do. My oldest is gay and she married her partner and she is a sweetheart and she make my daughter so happy, kinda going off subject here. LOL I have been thinking more and more about telling her about what her dad is really like, but I'm scared I might hurt our relationship we have always been close, I don't think my youngest would handle it good at all, but the fear is there.
i always say do what ever you can before you die. i don't look at it as getting old. i look at it like how many people i know that didn't make it as long as i did. i know people who died in high school. one of my friends died when he was 39. the guy who rebuilt my truck died in his 40's and so many more. i try to do as much as i can before i go. its not easy finding time or money to do these things but i try. hopefully someday i might be in a nursing home telling stories about all the things i use to do. so don't be someone that says i wish i went out dressed when your time is up. now is the first day of the rest of your life.
It's a question we all face when we are out late and in the closet. Looking at all my clothes helped me decide to tell my kids about my feminine side. I certainly didn't want them to find out unexpectedly after my death. In the years Ive been dressing, I've collected quite a bit, mostly because
I had no clue about what I was doing. There was no aspect of planning to my collecting that is until I discovered my style. Then I could toss out lots of things that were unnecessary, didn't match anything, or made me look attracious. Since then I have been collecting bags of my clothes and donating them to shelters for trans folks and taking them to conferences like Esprit where they have THE BEST free shop ever. But I digress. We never know when the time will come so it's helpful to have everything figured out in advance and written down clearly so the executor can do their job easily. I had to sort out my mother and father's affairs after they passed and although it was a lot of work, I was grateful for specific instructions about what to do with what, especially things like jewelry where if you have no clue about it, a $5,000 ring can look similar to a $25. one. So in short, it's best to not leave surprises to the end, and clean up after yourself as you go.
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