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Greetings, lovely ladies!
To briefly condense decades' worth of life experience into a capsule description, I've been a closet crossdresser for most of my life, but it's only recently (since December) that I've made the decision to fully embrace and legitimize my femme self. It's... been a journey, needless to say, one paved with smiles and tears; I'm sure many of you relate.
Thing is, up til now my dressing has only been revealed to a select few known and trusted individuals. I've gotten braver, posting photos here and in discord, but of course being known anonymously over the internet is a lot different than revealing oneself in the flesh.
After the better part of a year on this journey of self-acceptance, I've mostly resolved myself to take the next step towards being seen. There's a (relatively) local trans club where I can purchase a day pass, get myself all girled up, and actually (big gulp) socialize with other likeminded individuals. I've written off the possibility before due to the financial and time costs, but if I'm honest where I stand now financially speaking those are basically excuses not to face the music. So (deep breath) I'm gonna do it.
I realize this may seem a very small thing to many of you, and those of you who regularly go out en femme have my utmost respect and admiration for your bravery and moxie. But I have to be real here; I feel this odd sense of elation in conjunction with my heart jammed somewhere in my esophagus. My brain knows this is not a big deal; it's a very safe environment. But 30+ years' paranoid hiding is a hard habit to break.
So... overly longwinded explanation accomplished... I covet my sisters' advice on how to handle this. Think back to your first time getting seen by strangers; what advice would you give yourself back then, so I can mooch off of it? 😉
Thanks in advance for your sage counsel! <3
Val’sheril Starsong (VS). VS. Good omen. My absolutely fav place to shop. Funny thing about advice.... Not out nor sure when that will be, but at each stage it was a surge of need/desire that compelled me. From walking into VS and buying my 1st bra to entertaining a man in my home wearing pantyhose and a crisp white button down over peach bra and panties. As I’m not a good guesser nor do I gamble, I would bet that there are plenty of us that are on many stages along the path you are on. Do you remember the first time you looked at yourself in a mirror with only a bra and panties - compare that to the most recent time. Each time don’t you look, and more importantly, feel, prettier?
Mad to the expenses - I so get that. My lingerie, dresses, shoe bill has soared. Yet, I hesitated to take a stake here - but, I did. So, the old “penny wise pound foolish “ - you know?
Finally, always pace yourself. Be yourself. Love yourself.
kisses
kate
Definitely check that out. If you don't, you will always be thinking about it. You may enjoy it and want to do it more, or it may not be what you were looking for or expected. You can decided from there.
Val,
Do it, don't skimp on cost or you ruin the whole effect. And mostly, relax and smile. Women smile so much more, men's scowls make them look like...men! And that is exactly what you are trying NOT to look like. Once you are fully made-up and have clothes and accessories that flatter you and are in style you'll know what it really feels like and your fears will fall away.
From there it is an easy step to going outside a club into the real world, with all the joy that brings.
Relax, enjoy and smile!
S
I think most of have this desire to be seen. Make the most of the opportunity. Dress to suit the occasion and venue. Don’t overdo your makeup. Smile. Be confident in who you are. And, most of all, have fun! Remember most of the world is so self absorbed that they will most likely not even notice you. I will also say, once you’ve been out and it goes well, the desire to do it more often grows stronger, as it should.
First time I went out dressed was with a bunch of student friends, all dressed up for a costume party.
The next time was with my wife, in Halloween costumes.
After that, I went by myself to collect friends from the station.
From there it was a relatively easy step to a walk across the fields, then a trip to the local post office, a Christmas shopping trip, and a New Year's eve night out in London.
It still takes a bit of a deep breath, but I adore field walking, and am gearing up for a full on day in Brighton on Saturday, replete with lunchtime makeover.
That's a little scary, as, although Brighton has one of the most celebrated multi gender populations and facilities anywhere, there are also pockets of haters, who may be unpredictable.
Safety lies in numbers, but Saturday is the only foreseeable free time I have, so really mixed feelings about this.
I will do the entire drive an femme, so should arrive relaxed into it, hoping the hotel won't fuss, as I couldn't get a trans BnB (and there are a few!) at such short notice.
Anyway, I'm going to focus on having a good time, and am lining up the indoor activities, as the forecast is rain!
Enjoy your trip out - you will thank yourself later!
Love Laura
Actually if I'm honest with myself... since the first time I looked at myself in a bra and panties was in my teens and I'm now in my 40s... I don't really look as pretty. But I feel prettier, which is by far the more important thing. And of course I feel much more secure.
Part of the issue is I really have no idea how to dress to suit the occasion and venue, and to be honest I'm not sure I want to. My style is fairly dramatic: not drag queen by any means but definitely on the elegant dressy side. I guess I dress to stand out and that can be a mixed blessing. I do plan to scout the venue and hopefully have a conversation with the proprietor so hopefully that will clear up some of the specifics... maybe she can even help me pick out an outfit that's suitably Val and yet doesn't stick out like a sore thumb.
Likewise, though I'll have to say Val smiles more. Hard not to when you've got all those lovely sensations.
Little steps at first. Then you realise people don’t care, or notice. The amount of anonymity is up to you. Nobody in my daily life knows, but I am comfortable enough to go fully en femme where nobody knows my name. Went for a makeover today at a beauty counter in a large store❤️❤️❤️ Great chat, lots of tips, free makeover, got perfectly matched foundation, great time. Oh, and it was 60 miles from my hometown ! no chance of bumping into familiar faces😂
Thanks for that, this place is about as far from my hometown so as a staging area it's more or less ideal. Still, to go out in public like that is nerve-wracking; good on you for going through with it! Hopefully I'll be there once I've gotten my feet wet (after carefully removing my heels and stockings of course! 😉 ).
It's weird, but... you giving me permission to be lavish means more than you know. I think I maybe need to stop worrying about the details and just do this thing. If the community here at CDH is any indication I'll have nothing but warm acceptance regardless of how I choose to dress. So thank you, Sam, for that important bit of validation (Val-idation? In the immortal words of Alf: ha, I kill me!). 😛
I have just seen your public pictures on here Val'sheril.You are very glamerous and tasteful.You will be a sensation.Your sense of style is a little similar to mine.Wishing you all the luck in the world dear xxx
Val'Sheril,
What do I say to someone who is about to do something that I only dream about ?
I think it depends on the individual so I gotta say.....
Elf-up and do it.
And enjoy the heck out of it cause I wanna hear all about it.
-Hugs
Autumn
Someone's either done her research or is a psychic... Val'sheril was originally the name of one of my beloved elf characters, a gender-fluid bard... actually much like myself. No pointy ears though (yet).