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Hi Everyone
I have been writing something of a journal through the last year of therapy. I write down some of the things I want to talk about with my gender therapist and I write down some of the conversations I wish I could have with the people in my life. I find it very interesting to look through the pages and see how my thoughts have changed. So much I wrote before were questions like “What does Lauryn look like in my life? How much time do I want to spend as Lauryn? “ A lot of thoughts about makeovers and clothing. A year ago I was wondering how to have more control over when I am Lauryn.
The last few months the thoughts are all about how I can be Lauryn fully. My journalling has been consistently about transitioning. First whether I should transition, then about I wish I could and now about how can I make this work. I would have said three months ago that it was nearly completely out of the question to transition with HRT and surgery but now I feel so strongly I should and the likelihood of me doing so has reached the maybe I can really do this. A very very big maybe but still a long ways from where I was a year or even six months ago. Helps to reflect.
Love
Lauryn
There's an old saying (somewhat in jest) that the difference between a crossdresser and a trans woman is about two years.
Lauryn -
How wonderful that you keep a journal to write your thoughts and feelings.
I also journal and have been for over 4 years since coming out and starting therapy. It is not only about my dressing but also other things in my life. I find it very helpful to help me reflect, acknowledge events in my life, put things in perspective and work things out. Like my dressing it is something that I wonder why I didn't start sooner, but when I started was the right time. There are many things in our lives that we could have started earlier but the time wasn't right to do so. Now that the time is right it is wonderful to be able to enjoy.
Enjoy your journey and documenting it in your journal. One day you can look back and reflect on your journey and feelings. Heck it could even be the basis for a book.
XOXO
Suzanne
I always think that writing things down is good therapy in any situation. Alas I have not been good at that although I wrote things for letters or articles about my dressing. I have kept a lot of them and it gives a snapshot to my progress and experience. There are a lot of photos which also chronicle my progress as each picture tells a story and has a memory.
