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Hey girls
Last week I visited Specsavers, which for members in the US is a chain of high street opticians. I was due an eye test anyway, but I was also keen to book an appointment for contact lenses. There are three reasons for this:
1). Sheer vanity. I’m not as young as I used to be, and I figure that wearing contacts will make me look a little bit younger for a little bit longer.
2). Utility. Anyone who wears glasses will know that they REALLY get in the way of you doing eye makeup. I can’t put makeup on my eyes while wearing them, and I can barely even see my eyes if I take them off.
3). Practicality. As a wildlife artist who spends a lot of time painting animals and birds in the field I have to take my glasses off while looking through a telescope and then put them back on again when I switch my attention back to the canvas. This can cause eye strain. It's also something which rhymes with ‘a pain in the glass’.
Anyway … back to Specsavers. The eye exam and test went well and the optician told me that I wouldn’t need to be buying new glasses this time round. My existing ones were fine. I was about to simply thank him and make a date for the contact lens trial when for some reason a previous Forum post popped into my head. I had a sudden clear memory of a member going into a branch of Specsavers and browsing the women's frames (if that was YOU, please leave a reply below 😊 ).
I remember reading that post and drawing inspiration from it.
Now, in the past I would never even have CONSIDERED doing what I did next, but after a year and a bit on CDH I’ve come a very long way.
I found myself saying:
‘Well, yes ... the glasses I have are great, but here’s the thing.' (Looks up, smiles confidently). 'I’m trans, and so I’d really like to have a couple of pairs with women's frames. Would it be okay if I went and have a look at your “For Her” section?’
The optician, bless him, didn’t even miss a beat … and believe me, I was watching closely for a reaction. I’d said what I said as if it was the most natural thing in the world - there's no reason that it shouldn’t be - and he responded in exactly the same vein.
There was a ready smile and an ‘Of course!’
He asked me to take a seat while he spoke to the sales staff (who would otherwise, I guess, have wondered why I was looking for frames on the ‘wrong’ side of the store). Then I was assigned a young female assistant who helped me select a couple of pairs of frames that would suit my face. We actually had a lovely half an hour working through different selections. Specsavers have an ongoing ‘buy one, get one free’ offer; I’ve ended up ordering one pair of really pretty frames by Liberty and another pair by Mark Jacobs. They’ll be ready in a couple of weeks and I can't wait to collect them 🙂
On the one hand I’m really pleased with myself for doing this, but on the other it felt like no big deal. That was largely due to the wholly welcoming and supportive response that I got from the entire Specsavers staff.
I was very, very impressed by them.
Ellie x
Hey Ellie thanks for sharing.
I think you'll discover contacts are a game changer. They're more practical for everyday use and eye makeup gets a lot easier. They do also take a few years off your face. I've been wearing contacts for 20 years. I can't ever imagine doing away with them. I wear glasses before going to bed and occasionally when traveling and want to sleep.
I think you will love the Mark Jacobs frames. I have a pair myself. Very stylish albeit a bit androgenous. My next pair of glasses will be clearly feminine.
Congratulations on being authentic with the store staff! Expanding your comfort zone! I'm so glad your conversation flowed naturally. As it should.
Can't wait to see the new looks you'll have!
Maybe next time I'm in the UK I should pay a visit to Specsavers....
Liz
Maybe next time I'm in the UK I should pay a visit to Specsavers....
Now we just need to get you to the UK 🙂
Ellie x
@lizk Hi Liz, I'm Tia. It's great when you get surprised by how understanding people are when you expected them to be difficult. I have a problem that perhaps you can solve for me. While we speak the same language, something must become garbled as it crosses the "pond". Two things actually, what is the top of the garden and what is the high street? I eagerly await your response. :^) Tia
I'm not from the UK but I know 'high street' refers to where shops and businesses are concentrated. In smaller towns it would mean the main street.
I'm not familiar with the phrase 'top of the garden'.
Maybe @ellyd22, @jacquelinelarkspur, @lucyb112 or @alexina can clarify.
/LK
@lizk There I go making assumptions again. We spent our honeymoon in San Diego many moons ago.
The top of the garden is the opposite end of the garden to the bottom end of the garden. Usually the top end is the end furthest away from the house.
Hope this helps.
@jacquelinelarkspur @tia @lizk @emmat
Edit: I've discussed this with my wife and she pointed out that our garden does have a slight incline away from the house and that's why we would say the top. Conversely, she has heard people use the term, bottom of the garden, when there is a slope down from the house.
High street is as you say, Liz, the street almost exclusively containing shops. I say almost because many high streets have residential flats above a lot of the shops.
In the grand scheme of things.......
@alexina It would seem rather odd to go down to the top of the garden to bring up some cabbages but then if you lived in a flat above a high street shop you would have to go up the bottom of the garden to bring anything down. Well that certainly clears things up nicely, thank you very much. :^)
that certainly clears things up nicely
I thought so too...and then I see this,
if you lived in a flat above a high street shop you would have to go up the bottom of the garden to bring anything down
@jacquelinelarkspur Thank you. I've read the phrase or heard it on TV so many times. It's good to finally get an explanation.
Hi Tia. Liz has nailed the 'high street'. I'm not surprised she passed on 'top of the garden'. I would take it to mean the far end of the garden - looking from your back door. Of course some people here in the UK would paradoxically call it 'the bottom of the garden'.
I'll let you work that one out 😉
Emma x
There's a children's song that begins "There's a worm at the bottom of the garden" which implies that the bottom of the garden can indeed be the end furthest from the house. This terminology is clearly open to interpretation, and may not be as clear cut as it may seem.
That's a good point about incline, Allie. The top of the garden can be lower than the bottom of the garden. What if your garden is shaped like a circle?
By the way, the worm's name is Wiggley-Woo.
🪱
I had a yorkshire childhood. I'm fairly sure I remember being sent down to the 'bottom of the garden' to cut some mint for the sunday roast. But as I said, I'd happily interpret 'top' the same way. So, the burning question is how one would describe the part of the garden nearest the back door? I'm not sure either top or bottom applies.
'I've got fairies at the bottom of the garden' certainly doesn't mean just outside the back door. If that's where they'd set up home, the thieving little things would be round the bins the whole time.
Plus there would be the inconvenience of having to clear up all the fairy droppings.
If you left the fairy droppings to accumulate it would quickly become an elf risk.
No need. One of the local badgers has found it.
I hadn't realised it was edible, but he's goblin it up.
@jacquelinelarkspur What did Wiggely-Woo do at the bottom of the garden which could be just about anywhere except, apparently, at the center?
@jacquelinelarkspur Hee hee, and to think all I have to contend with is barking dogs and the occasional skunk.
@emmat There you go throwing a monkey wrench into the works. :^) Well, I've got two votes for away from the house and a paradox at the other end. I love a good paradox.
You're welcome Tia! Isn't the English language a baffling beast sometimes. Now excuse me one moment while I put on a favourite musician. Ah, here we are ... Muddy Waters.
@ellyd22 Yes, that's it and it goes right along with the ones who use it. They are known as grease monkeys.
I wouldn't want to be the one in charge of greasing the monkeys, or cleaning them again at the end of the day.
Self-greasing monkeys. That's the way to go.
Um ... 'top of the garden' isn't actually a phrase here in the UK, so I'm puzzled as well.
If it were, a high street optician would be one who's set up their business in the main shopping street in a town, while a top of the garden optician would be running things from a shed situated just past the vegetable patch.
That would be a relatively poor business choice, unless of course you'd popped out specifically for an eye test and a bag of freshly dug carrots.
👓🥕
Hugs
Ellie x
Well, this whole top of the garden and bottom of the garden controversy has confused me no end. So, after a little digging, I find myself somewhat amazed to learn that there is indeed no such thing as "the top of the garden". I stand corrected.
Even so, the absence of a top of the garden leaves me feeling a little forlawn.
I always thought that the part of the garden furthest from the house was called the bottom of the garden.
I’m not sure where I got that from though as we just had a back yard where I grew up 🤷♀️
You were lucky to have a yard, we had to live in a shoebox in t'middle of t'road 😂😂😂
Ok, on the basis of, "if you can't beat them.." I mow what you mean. Oh no, what have I become!
I find myself somewhat amazed to learn that there is indeed no such thing as "the top of the garden"
Well, I'll go to the foot of our stairs. Or do I mean to the top of our stairs?
@jacquelinelarkspur You wouldn't have a lawn in the garden would you? I thought it was for vegetables.
@ellyd22 Hmmm. I can't see myself going to a vegetable garden for eyeglasses but, I'll take some carrots and tomatoes, or tomaaatoes as the case may be, along with some parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme. :^)
@tia It sounds like you need a trip to Scarborough Fair, after which you'll be Homeward Bound.
Anna x
Before Paul Simon's editor got involved, I believe the original lyrics were:
Are you going to Scarborough Fair?
If so, can you pick up some Parsley and Sage?
And I've just noticed we're getting low on Rosemary and Thyme as well.
I want to make that nice Mediterranean thing you like.
You know ... with the pasta?
Thinking about that, on your way back can you swing by Asda and get some tomatoes and carrots?
Thanks sweetheart
Remember me to one who lives there.
Then she'll be a true love of mine.
I believe that Paul Simon was making Sorpresa di carote e pasta.
Anyway, it's okay. I'm friends with the bouncers at Asda 🙂
@ellyd22 I can just picture it in Asda. "Er, excuse me ladies, I think it might be time you vacate the store". I remember the first time I was in my works canteen in Italy. I put salad and pasta on the same place. Well, the whole of the canteen were watching me. i didn't make that mistake again.
At the school where I worked until recently, lunch was provided. It used to be self service, generally with three different cooked options each day as well as the salad bar. Wednesday was always a roast, but there was usually a pasta dish available as well as a Chinese dish.
Because you were able to help yourself, you would see teachers (always male) just piling EVERYTHING onto their plate - noodles with sweet and sour sauce, roast potatoes, spaghetti bolognese, gravy and anything else that was available - all mixed together and piled high.
Often, because it was free, you'd then see them going back for seconds as well 🙁
I used to wonder how they got through their afternoon lessons without exploding and splattering their classes with half-digested food.
One of the main culprits was a maths teacher in his mid-forties. We'll call him 'Simon', since that's his name.
As well as having two massive plates of wildly-mixed foodstuffs every lunchtime, Simon had also sweet-talked the canteen staff into giving him a doggy bag of leftovers at the end of each day.
He was single (unsurprisingly), and I really wondered whether he actually had any food in his house beyond the stuff he took home from school - or whether he had ever learned to actually cook.
I once asked him how he survived during the holidays. He told me that he heated up one can of Heinz 'Big Soup' each day but otherwise pretty much sat around in his underpants watching sport and eating cheese puffs.
I once asked him how he survived during the holidays.
I once was told about a longshoreman / dock worker here who got laid off each winter when the Great Lakes froze over. (That doesn't happen as often as it used to.)
To ensure that he always had something to eat, he took his severance pay and bought enough Kraft dinner boxes to hold him over until he started working in the spring again.
You do what ya gotta do.
To ensure that he always had something to eat, he took his severance pay and bought enough Kraft dinner boxes to hold him over until he started working in the spring again.
Oh my God 🙁
*Sits back, appalled, after having Googled 'Kraft dinner boxes'*
@ellyd22 KDs may not be the most nutritious diet longterm, but they are better than the alternative. 🤔
I mean, the occasional one ... fair enough. They may well be quite tasty.
But living off them for the entire winter?
Mind you, when I was a student I was in shared accommodation with five others. This was back in the days when you actually got given a grant to go to university. One of my housemates made the decision that having deducted the money required for rent and textbooks it would be ideal if he could spend most of the rest on beer.
Inconveniently, of course, he would still have to eat.
His innovative solution was to line one of the kitchen drawers with foil. Every Sunday he would make a huge batch of porridge. Then he would simply pour it into the drawer and let it cool.
Whenever he was hungry he would open the drawer and carve off a slab of cold, hardened porridge.
He'd continue until it was clear that the surface of the porridge was beginning to get colonised by other life forms, then tip the remainder into the bin and start again.
Ellie x
@ellyd22 My brother got a job in halls of residence as a dish washer which he did for 3 years and got free food on top of his pay. Which meant he could spend his whole grant on beer and records.
When I bought my first house (with high interest rates) I was skint for the first year, but luckily had subsidised canteen at work. Evening meal was often micrconoodles, cheaper than a pot noodle.
Are micronoodles just really, really small noodles?
I prefer that interpretation to the probably true one that they are in fact 'microwavable noodles'.
@ellyd22 they were microwavable. Sadly, no longer available. They were actually quite tasty
As someone who's never even had a pot noodle, I couldn't possibly comment 🙂
@ellyd22 they do have their uses for being quick and filling, but you've not really missed out
@ellyd22 Harder to plug a toaster in on top of a mountain. A flask of hot water and a pot noodle in my rucksack is easy.
Fair point, well made.
*Ellie begins to jot down plans for a lightweight, collapsible, pedal-powered toaster*
@ellyd22 I've heard that one about filling the kitchen drawer with porridge before. It was treated as an urban myth when I was at Uni in the late 80's! I'm sure it was actually a real thing though, and I'll bet your housemate wasn't the only one.
Way back in my early 20's, at one point a friend was having a hard time financially so he made porridge fresh for each meal. But after a couple of weeks, as hungry as he was, he stopped being able to keep it down. He found he could just manage on two meals a day if the second one wasn't porridge (although I don't remember what it was). I do wonder if it was because he put salt in the porridge - just a little, but that made it taste a lot nicer when I tried some once.
I've no doubt my housemate didn't come up with the idea on his own ... he wasn't the most imaginative person in the world. No doubt he'd heard that urban myth and thought 'Hey ... now there's a good idea!'
I rarely make porridge myself. I don't know why that is, since when I make it I actually really love it. I always stir in a spoonful of honey and add a tiny amount of salt. Having had that thought, I might actually go and make some now 🙂
I'm aware that this thread has drifted away from crossdressing somewhat. Let's bring it back by saying something like 'Oh, and when I DO eat porridge, I always like to wear a bra'.
Ellie x
KDs may not be the most nutritious diet longterm, but they are better than the alternative.
There are some things worse than death.
@ellyd22 I will let some others figure that one out.
That porridge souffle sounds nasty.
That porridge souffle sounds nasty.
It often had a definite blue green tinge before he binned it and started on a new batch 🙁
@tia Just to throw a spanner in the works (a UK expression, Americans use wrench, but whether the expression is relevant, I don't know).
I have three gardens. I have The Little Garden; this is the garden that is immediately outside the back of my house. Then you have 'the original garden' The Original Garden is accessed by walking past three other gardens (two of which belong to the same person because he owns two houses connected together) to the garden that originally came with the house. This garden is about 70 metres (200ft) from the house. Next to The Original Garden is 'The New Garden'. The New Garden is about twice the size of the original garden and was bought from an ex-next-door-neighbour as his original garden was so big it was putting off buyers, so we bought half of it.
The New Garden and the The Original Garden are together about 30 times the size of The Small Garden and amount to about one third of an acre (0.13 hectares).
And you were concerned about the top or the bottom of the garden! Welcome to Cornwall UK 
@rebeccabaxter Some years ago, I had a letter from the Duke of Cornwall to remind me that if I dug ore up in my garden it was his (or words to that effect).
@rebeccabaxter Some years ago, I had a letter from the Duke of Cornwall to remind me that if I dug ore up in my garden it was his (or words to that effect).
He's King now, probably got other things to concern him.
And anyway, just don't tell him.
I wouldn't tell him either.
Saying that is probably an act of treason or something, but I very much doubt that he's reading our Forum posts.
Then again, you never know.
It's incredibly considerate of him to take such a personal interest.
Bless him, times are hard.
👑💰💰💰💰💰💰
@ellyd22 My property is across the road from one of his castles. Times must be tough for him, mine has a lovely slate roof, his castle is a ruin.
@annaredhead Well, you could tell him there's ore there and he would send men to dig a garden for you.
Cunning.
Next time I need my garden dug I'll contact Time Team and tell them I suspect that there's a Roman ampitheatre down there somewhere.