Going out again. At least try!

Hi Jennifer,

I’d suggest a public place with security nearby.  Let the security handle any outburst should any conflict arise.  If you decide to start on a small scale try getting gas at a self serve station or a drive through coffee shop or restaurant.  Going inside and having the attendant say thank-you miss or mama is a day brightener.

Shopping is fun too as the pandemic relaxes the restrictions currently in place.

Alice

Rule #1 is confidence!
No matter what you wear or where you are just be confident as if it's the most natural thing to do, same as you whee in drab.

Yes, that's easier written then done but if you work with that in mind you get there. Personally I started like you, deserted places late at night and so on. I figured that no one is around and even if someone is it is several levels of barriers to break down before it becomes an issue for me.

• They are far away
  • =can't see you at all
• They may see you and think "another women" (or man depending on what they see/you wear)
• They see that you are a man in womens clothes
  • so what?, They don't know you and it's not like it's a crime (at least I hope not wherever you are).
• They are close enough to see you and talk to you
  • still so what.
• Far away you see someone you know.
  • they probably don't see you and if so they probably don't recognise you. Making a connection that the person that looks like a women and "that guy" requires some extra steps most wont take.
  • You possible have a chance to avoid meeting up
• Close and someone you know
  • I guess this is the most scary part, lets hope you are ready for it once it happens.

Good luck in your outing, I think the best way to build confidence is to practice and be more and more daring each time.

/kt

Thank you so much for taking the time to write. Yes. All of those possibilities come to mind. I agree. Confidence and "so what" are two big items!

Safety is a big thing for me. I hadn’t thought about security though. I might want to stay away from the places that need security. lol!
i do like the idea of getting gas. That seems easy enough and should be pretty secure. Drive though too.
AHH! I’m nervous already!

Jennifer.

In your account, you said...

"When I was driving there I remember seeing a woman in another car looking at me funny. She must have known."....

I agree going out is a confidence thing, but when you first go out, a big mistake is to " look for problems". Try to keep calm and not to think the world is just out to get YOU....just do your thing and let everyone else do theirs....it sounds silly, but virtually nobody is interested in you, they all have their own worries and cares.

Good luck on your next trip, so well done for trying again, and just be....

Jennifer, a girl out and about.

Huggs, grace xx

Just yesterday I made my second outing,🌸 I went to a drive through where they stand outside and take your order, face to face. And bring the food to your car.
🦋🌸

I was super nervous, but they were polite, friendly, and smiled. Asked for my name for the order, I told them Effie, he asked how do i spell that 😅

All in all, it was nice...nobody screamed or yelled out “ that’s a man!”

so you can do this ! Go for it and enjoy it!

🧚‍♀️🌷🌺

Hi Jennifer,

No need to be nervous.  You’ll have fun and enjoy the outing.  We all love the clack clack walking in ladies shoes, the fragrance of our perfume, the feel of the fabrics we don.  Even if you have leggings and a tunic on you’ll have a blast.  You’ll be behind a mask so no need to be nervous.  Think about how much fun you’re having and just let those jitters go.

Alice

Thanks Grace. That’s such good advice. I know. I was looking around to see who was looking at me. That woman probably noticed how uptight I was. She could probably smell the fear, not the perfume!

Thanks Laura. I love that idea but as of THIS moment, I’m not ready for that. I do shop in drab. Looking forward to the day when I can hit the stores!

That’s so great Effie! Very encouraging. And another good option.

Thanks Alice for bring those sounds and feelings into it. That helps. I love that! I generally don’t like the masks no matter what. Not sure if I would use one if I don’t have to. I’m more concerned about my body than my face!

Hi Jennifer,

Some areas do require the masks and we do want to remain safe.  Plus you want to protect yourself fro someone who is a carrier.

often the fear of “the what if” gets the best of us.  So let that go and take a short trip.  Enjoy yourself and take that first small step.

Alice

Jennifer,

My fist outings were to the gas station, the second hand store, the  to dinner, and then the mall.  Each time I upped the about of dressing.

I started with just heals,

To makeup and heals

To skinny jeans, and a pink sweater,

To fully dressed at the mall at dinner time during the week.

No one cared.  The sales clerks were great. I felt alive.  I was referred to as Ma'am, and sir.  It didn't matter.  I figure with more people around less people will be willing to make a fuss.  Most people don't want any attention so they would bring any to you for feat of being in the spot light them self.

Just go out where you will just be another person.

Paula

Great thoughts, Paula. I like that idea of adding things gradually. And I have a few days to work with. I’ll probably give that a try!