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Is there more to being fem than just dressing for the part by putting on the makeup, wigs and heels. Is there really more than that to being a female. Well in a little way maybe there is.
Of course in the real world the demeanour of women varies greatly from one to another. If I was looking at a guiding personae of where I would like my fem personality like to be then for me I imagine I would exhibit the personality traits of the more gentler and understanding female personae and style.
Perhaps this is the case when I dress fully fem, I feel more comfortable and at ease. I find that I am more compassionate in many different ways, showing more empathy and being at times being more emotional at sights and everyday things I experience and see around me.
I am not sure where all this is taking me, but I feel that perhaps it is a good thing to experience. Time - to take the time to be a wholesome person. Time to look at my space through different lenses so to speak.
So as I embark on this journey albeit only part time, I look back into my male history and note that perhaps I was heading this way in any case.
Again of course every person is different in their outlook and I often wonder in this environment do other girls have similar demeanour experiences. Or is it an age factor thing for me having lived life where it is now time to take a slower and more understanding step forward.
Gwen (Aus).
@gwen495 Gwen, I’ve found that as I age, I have a lot more tolerance. I’m not sure it has anything to do with dressing more, but it probably does. I just think that as we get older we take one of 2 paths, we get older and meaner, or we get older and more mellow. My thought is that the mean ones won’t survive as long and if they do, they could have had a lot more fun along the way.
@gwen495 I don’t know that I become more feminine myself when I am dressed. Over time it has become part of my day to day persona to be honest. What I will say is that the experience of going out en femme or even doing it at home, I have become more empathetic to the fears of women. I am able to go in and out of that persona, but women cannot. The fear of walking in the dark alone, or if an outfit is too sexually charged. Having some of those similar experiences and feelings allows me to understand a women’s pov a bit more i think.
@gwen495 As I age, I feel more feminine in general, but I think that I may have always felt that way, I can just accept it more being older. I think my femininity was there when I was a child, but I hid it under layers of shame, guilt and feeling that something was wrong with me. Now I am able to lift some of those layers. I wish they were all gone, but therapy is helping.
@dee2 As I look back over the years, I can now see that the feminine part of me was more prominent than I realized. But, like you, it was deeply buried under layers of guilt, shame, anxiety and embarrassment. I finally shed all that baggage when I fully accepted myself as being trans around 30 months ago. I am now living a very comfortable life since the bigger, feminine part of my persona emerged and came to predominate my existence. Therapy will indeed help you and I sincerely hope you reach true acceptance of yourself. All the best.
@gwen495 I understand where you are coming from. I would probably be happy to present as fully male sometimes and fully fem sometimes. BUT I fear that some family and friends would be more weirded out by that than if I were fully fem full-time. Since I am very comfortable and happy being Cassie full time that is were I am going.
Cassie
Hello friend, I feel that many of us experience this. Bella is me as much as my male body. I love them both. All of me. I explore both. I’m grateful to be able to experience this. I hope you are as well!
Age does encourage the female within and fits well with shedding the male pressure to enjoy the side of you that helps you relax and feel good.
Not an expert by any means, but isn’t it possible that each person is unique in the way they behave and present and deal with all that life puts their way? If so, then trying to rationalise what might be at the root of how we behave and feel, dressed or not, young or old, is just trying to understand ourselves rather than whether we fit into any spectrum, male or female, femme or homme? Is it the case that women have more empathy, compassion or are more emotional? Personally, I would hesitate to conclude this, though society has come to expect this in the past at least. Are they more fearful being (in the main) less strong (although in today’s society, this is no longer often the case with the prevalence of self defence skills etc)? Quite possibly. That said, as a 6’ male, reasonably strong, I avoid certain dark passage ways; I may stand a chance unless there was more than 1 or they were armed. It is meaningful and wonderful that you feel comfort en femme. That in itself is the important truth here? 💚
