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Going to therapy dressed. Good idea?

20 Posts
15 Users
34 Reactions
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Posts: 34
Lady
Topic starter
(@laurynvalentine)
Trusted Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Joined: 1 year ago

I have a great gender therapist and we meet every two weeks. In the past I usually drive there wearing some femme clothing but not dresses or skirts and once I get there I change fully in Lauryn. That feels so great to be at least somewhat in public and helps me feel I am making progress. Each time I have been wearing more and more girl clothes on the trip there and back. It’s a bit of a walk from the truck to the office and the reception is for all the many small businesses in the building not just therapy but insurance etc. 

I have my next session tomorrow and I was all set on going completely dressed with a skirt and heels and a beautiful Anthropologie sequin top. I am in my beard on my face phase right now but I did go get my nails done today all the way downtown on the subway wearing a bra with stuff and earrings and girls top. 

So my question is this - go fully dressed and be happy with the progress, which I am really working on, or this is too much ? If I had help with a nice makeup job I wouldn’t give a second thought.

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19 Replies
10 Replies
Baroness
(@river)
Joined: 1 year ago

Noble Member     New Hampshire, United States of America
Posts: 827

@laurynvalentine I think you posted this while I was writing my post on counseling I may have just asked here. How did you find a gender therapist? and what is their qualifications.  maybe they dont necessary need specific qualifications.  I have no idea how to even begin looking for a counselor or therapist if you dont mind me asking.  how has therapy helped you and how long have you been going?  Thank you RC

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(@laurynvalentine)
Joined: 1 year ago

Trusted Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 34

@river. lol I just replied to your post and you were replying to mine. I will write a longer reply tomorrow and try to answer your questions better. Sorry a bit tired, just finished a long run.

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Baroness
(@river)
Joined: 1 year ago

Noble Member     New Hampshire, United States of America
Posts: 827

@laurynvalentine great minds think alike sleep well im heading there myself Smile Face  RC

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(@justnikki)
Joined: 2 years ago

Prominent Member     Seattle, Washington, United States of America
Posts: 485

@laurynvalentine Do it! Show her who you are. It's not about a beard now or not, it's about exploring who you are. Sharing that with your counselor will be huge. You deserve to be SEEN for all you are. It could change your life...

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(@laurynvalentine)
Joined: 1 year ago

Trusted Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 34

@justnikki I did it. I went in fully dressed in my flower skirt, sequin top, 4 inch gold heels, scarf and everything. It may have been a lot of little steps in those heels but I do believe it was important for me and I am definitely ready to keep my beard off on a semi regular basis and start taking makeup lessons/sessions at the MAC store in the cool/hip/edgy area of town. Thanks for your support, believe it or not it was your encouragement that convinced me to try. You were very helpful. Lauryn

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(@justnikki)
Joined: 2 years ago

Prominent Member     Seattle, Washington, United States of America
Posts: 485

@laurynvalentine That's amazing, Lauryn! What a huge step, congratulations! 

xo, Nikki

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Guest
(@Anonymous 91116)
Joined: 2 years ago

Trusted Member
Posts: 97

@laurynvalentine 

Dear Lauryn,

We are so proud of you! Well done!

With all my support and encouragement,
The Bluest Belladonna

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(@jerryn)
Joined: 3 years ago

Estimable Member     Michigan, United States of America
Posts: 120

@laurynvalentine I went to my therapist partially dressed. Bra, blouse, pantyhose, heels. It was a great experience.

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Duchess
(@loneleycd)
Joined: 5 years ago

Famed Member     Roland, Iowa, United States of America
Posts: 2157

@laurynvalentine Do what makes you feel good for you.

Cassie 

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(@meghan47)
Joined: 3 years ago

Honorable Member     Upstate N.Y. Rochester area, New York, United States of America
Posts: 501

@laurynvalentine Ditch the beard and do a total but not overly done makeup of your face, eyes, lips-with wig. THEN you will really feel e full experience of looking and feeling like a true feminine woman. I think your therapist will agree, no holding back and only going halfway. Make the full visual transition beautiful (which is what you will be when you look in the mirror as your 'new Lauryn

Meghan B.

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Posts: 467
Lady
(@birel)
Honorable Member     Iowa, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

Hi Lauryn, are you comfortable going to a more public place like the reception area while fully dressed? I go to my therapist kind of semi dressed every session, and I love doing so. So if you feel safe and comfortable with it, I’d say go for it. But ultimately, only you can decide.

Nancy

 

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Posts: 97
Guest
(@Anonymous 91116)
Trusted Member
Joined: 2 years ago

Just my opinion.  Shave off the beard and go with the best makeup you can do.

I feel like we dishonor women if we don’t try our best when we are borrowing their space.

Have a good session. @

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Posts: 72
(@michellegirl)
Estimable Member     Northern Michigan , Michigan, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

100% Trudi ❤️ 

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Posts: 521
Ambassador
(@beach-girl)
Honorable Member     United States of America
Joined: 7 years ago

My therapist has never met him. I am always 100% me when I see her. She encourages me & has never asked to meet him. I am totally comfortable with this, & for that matter, going anywhere in public. I present as a woman & I am perceived as a woman. 

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Posts: 1742
Duchess
(@alison-anderson)
Noble Member     Middlesex county, New Jersey, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

@laurynvalentine If you go in a dress or skirt while still having a beard, you will very likely draw attention. It may just be looks from people, or may be people giggling when they see you. If this isn't going to bother you, then go for it. Otherwise, I'd take the advice of @trudi and shave the beard before going out in a dress or skirt.

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Posts: 305
Duchess
(@2bmadeline)
Reputable Member     Walla Walla, Washington, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

Isn't this something that would be better discussed with your therapist?

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Posts: 2108
Hostess
(@cdsue)
Famed Member     Delaware, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

 Lauryn -

The decision is ultimately yours. You know the area and how people may react. As Madeline said, ask your therapist for their thoughts. It sounds like you're okay being out being partially dressed which is a step in the right direction.

I have dressed for sessions with my therapist both online and in person. I go in drab and change when I get there. There are a number of reasons for that, one of which is keeping the peace at home, another is I have a goatee and am not comfortable being out en femme with it. I will say that doing sessions dressed is nice as it helps to validate that part of me. It is nice being complimented by my therapist on my outfit and to be addressed as Suzanne (she does do that when I'm in drab as well sometimes). There have been times I've gone for sessions and not dressed but show her my pedicure or wear some pretty earrings and get compliments on them.

Bottom line - do what you are comfortable in doing.

XOXO
Suzanne

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Posts: 875
(@ladymakenzie)
Noble Member     Brighton, Michigan, United States of America
Joined: 9 years ago

Lauryn,

I will unequivocally say to do it.  Now, I will admit that I may be a little bias.  However, what you describe is how I generally present to the world on a regular basis.  My hair is military short, and I boast a neatly trimmed goatee.  Neither of which stops me from wearing the clothes that I wish which more often than not is clearly feminine in nature including my dresses and skirts.  In general, I do not wear makeup, and never wear a wig.  It is clear to anyone, but the blind, that I am a man, proudly wearing a dress.  No one who matters will care, and those who have an issue don't really matter.

MacKenzie Alexandra

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Posts: 2172
 J J
Lady
(@jjandme)
Famed Member     California, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

I would consider shaving the beard going to Sephora (or similar) and having a make-over before your appointment. That way you are 100% en femme. 

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