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I don't recall when I first joined CDH. I believe that it was at least two, maybe three, years ago. In the time since I first joined, I have created and deleted many accounts here. Some of you have been my friends through multiple accounts. Those of you who have known me for a long time are probably aware of my struggle with being a CD and accepting my feminine side. There have been times when I was comfortable with being a CD and embraced my feminine side. In the past couple of years, when I got into Stephanie mode, I went all-out in my efforts to present myself as a woman. I even entertained the idea that I might be TG and considered seeing a therapist and looking into HRT and feminizing surgeries. Ultimately, though, I could not follow through with any of that. The real, masculine me could never and would never, act on the things that I thought, wrote or said while in Stephanie mode. Regardless of the pleasure, satisfaction or relief I got from my escape into the fantasy world of Stephanie, when I returned to the real world of Steve, everything about cross-dressing felt wrong. After trying to quit many times, and failing every time, I didn't embrace cross-dressing. I resigned myself to it. While I gave Stephanie an outlet here and by actually getting dressed up and going out, in the back of my mind I thought that if there was a way I could quit, I would do it.
I've finally found the way to quit. It's all a matter of having the right motivation. I found the motivation through conversations with a couple of guys I met here who have also been trying to quit cross-dressing. Serious discussions about trying to quit and not giving up when one fails have opened my eyes to some things that I hadn't seen before. These include:
- by dressing secretly, I am not being fair to or honest with my wife
- staying up late to enjoy Stephanie time is depriving me of sleep, and is not healthy
- Stephanie is a real threat to the marriage in which my wife and I vowed to be until death
- Stephanie detracts me from my roles as a man, a husband and a father
- God made me a man and I have a duty to be the man He wants me to be.
With all of that in mind, I am committed to quitting cross-dressing. I know it will be difficult. I planned to give it up for the month of September. After 11 days, the urge hit me and I was back here. However, something is different now. The urge hits me and goes away after a short time. It used to be that thoughts of quitting only lasted a short time. I am certainly making progress.
To help further that progress and achieve my ultimate goal, I am going to leave CDH, for the last time. Thank you to all who have given me friendship and support here. I've been through some good times and bad times as a member of CDH. I appreciate those of you who shared those times with me. I wish you all the best, and pray that you will find peace and contentment.
I am going to keep my account active for another week. Now that I am quitting cross-dressing, I won't need my clothes, shoes, etc. If any of you are in or near Detroit, Michigan and are interested in knowing what I have available, send me a message. Also, if you are trying to quit cross-dressing and looking for help doing it, you might want to join the group of friends I mentioned earlier. Send me a message if you are interested in that too.
Thanks, again, and goodbye.
Steve
Hi Stephanie,
Thanks for your post. It says a lot about CDH, that you can feel free to post your thoughts here.
Everyone's on their own journey in this life. All we can do is to try and be true to ourselves. I wish you well.
Marti xxx
O Steph, I support whatever you decide. But Please know, you are a true and special friend. And I am honored I got to know you! May you find Peace Dear!! Hugs and Love Pru!!
Hi Steve....
I have watched you come and go, and have read of your struggles. If you are so determined this time, all I can say is ....good luck on your journey. I hope you have a long and happy marriage and a successful life.....but I suspect like any other addiction, Stephanie will always be just below the surface.....you will always need to keep on top of it......
Best wishes honey
Grace xx
All the best, to you, Steve, I wish you well.
We must all choose our own paths in life, some are harder than others,, but you must be happy, with the path you choose.
Hugs, Regi👸💖
Hi Stephanie,
Wishing you all the best in the direction that you choose to follow. Like any addiction it's often hard to leave it behind.
Are you going to be missed absolutely, but you are right an evaluation of what is most important in your life must come first, especially your health, and relationship.
I know all us here send our love and best wishes to you, and hope you have a beautiful future. Take care, look after yourself, and if you get any dark moments remember there is a lot of people you can chat to here at anytime regardless. Wishing all the best for the future,
Lol Amanda xx
Best of luck in your decision to quit, it sounds as though your reasons are solid.much more difficult to be a married closet crossdresser, it must place an inordinate amount of stress on you.
You do whatever you feel happiest doing.
Good luck!
Connie
Steve,
If something in one’s life is not right, only that Person say what it is. I hope and pray you can do what you need to do to make Your life right.
I would like to add, that the God I believe in, made me who and what I am. And part of me is Raquel.
May God bless you, Steve, and help you do what is right for you.
Much love,
Raquel
Steve,
I wish you all the best in the future. I hope that you find all the happiness that you seek and a long a successful marriage.
Good Luck
Jillian
Wow! That is powerful writing and sincerity!
I am only qualified to offer you my heartfelt best wishes for your journey. I hope you find your peace.
Good luck, Steve!
Barb
Good luck to you Stephanie. All of us here know the conflict and struggles of being who we are and its not easy understanding or being a CD. I hope you are successful and your life is more complete and happy with your decision. Be strong and form the life you need. Please don't forget us here and if you see another CD out in the world then I hope you will have sympathy and be kind to her. You are not a bad person or have anything at all to feel shame or guilt about. Its just not your thing. Remember that.
The responses to Steve's post have reinforced my feelings that I have found a very special community. People who care and support one another and want to help one another achieve what they desire in life no matter what that is. No group think or judgement needed.
Steve,
I admire the sacrifices you have made and continue to make in your life to support your marriage and wish you success and happiness with your decision. Remember that this great community is here to offer continued support anytime you need it.
Hugs,
Michelle
Best to you. I wish you well.
Hi Steve and farewell, I wish you the best of luck in your decision. I found in the past when I was in not dressing that exercise filled the gap, I was and still am a runner. It is a great stress reliever. Always remember though that you don’t need to dress to let your feminine side help in life. I try to let my natural ways guide me and it seems to work for me. Your always welcome back if you need us. Hugs Katie
