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For nearly 25 years, I have shaved my head as it is more convenient, saves on hairdressing and shampoo and is generally easier to deal with. Having started cross dressing last year, I now occasionally wonder if I should grow my own hair.
There are two reasons for this. The first, obviously, is the removel of the need to wear a wig; although it would be years before it was long enough to get the style I want. The second reason, and the one more quickly accomplished, is that when I wear a wig, because I have no hair, if I push the wig hair back over my ears, there are only bald temples which makes me look like an alopecia sufferer wearing a wig -- not the impression I'm trying to give, as you can imagine.
I don't know whether I have any bald spots but if I have, then the whole thing is pretty much a non-starter. I am taking some medication that in small doses is used to help with male pattern baldness but I am taking five times the dose for prostate problems so more is more, yes! 🙂
Anyone grown their pwn hair long for the express purpose of cross dressing? Did it look good and feminine? How long did it take? And finally, women's temples have fine hair, men's is more like a beard, any suggestions as to how to keep it softer looking?
Becca
when I wear a wig, because I have no hair, if I push the wig hair back over my ears, there are only bald temples which makes me look like an alopecia sufferer wearing a wig -- not the impression I'm trying to give, as you can imagine.
I would not have thought about that. Thanks!
I don't know whether I have any bald spots but if I have, then the whole thing is pretty much a non-starter.
I do know how bad my bald spots are. It is an non-starter for me, barring a visit from a hair fairy.
I am taking some medication that in small doses is used to help with male pattern baldness but I am taking five times the dose for prostate problems so more is more, yes! 🙂
Which prostate problem? BPH? Does it help?
Dd
Anyone grown their pwn hair long for the express purpose of cross dressing? Did it look good and feminine? How long did it take?
I had long hair in high school. What can I say, it was the early '70s. With my male pattern baldness today, it would look weird. There are balding women, too, but it typically is more like a thinning than clear-cutting.
Yes, BPH. Taking Finasteride. Don't know if it's working, I have a catheter (see other threads). I have a visit to urology next Wednesday, so should know more then. Had tamsulosin earlier this year, worked a treat...until three months later, when it didn't; shame.
@rebeccabaxter I would be interested in your results. PM me if it's appropriate.
@rebeccabaxter About 6 months ago I decided to let my hair grow. Since my late 30’s I’ve worn my hair short and neatly trimmed. I asked my hairdresser to style it in a feminine way after my decision. It’s been a few visits and I’m really happy with the way my hair has grown in. Now that it’s summer I hardly ever wear my wigs as I find them too hot and sweating under them means they need more care. My hair used to be thick and curly. Now that it’s grey it’s straighter and soft. I love how I can do so much with it even though it’s only past my ears. It looks feminine enough. Eventually I will get it coloured.
As for my temples, it’s not much of a problem as my hair now covers them and looks very natural. As for my forehead which is huge, I’m able to sweep my hair down over it to cover the top part, making it appear narrower. The tricks women have used for years are many and we are only slowly discovering them out of necessity.
Hi Becca
I'm actively growing my hair out at the moment, and it will be shoulder length by Christmas. It will have got there from basically a standing start (crew cut) in August 2023, so around 16 months of growth.
I dress full time at home, but don't want to wear a wig in the house. I figure that doing that all day every day would be quite an itchy experience and overly-hot in the summer. I'm lucky enough to have a full head of thick hair. At the moment, having it much longer than it's ever been is DEFINITELY making me feel more feminine. I'm loving the hair care regime, and even learning how to control it when it's this length is fun. It's also making me look more feminine too. A fortnight ago my Mum and sister helped me colour it back to its former light brown, hiding all the grey. That's also been an enjoyable development, though it took three or four days getting used to seeing my suddenly much younger reflection in the mirror 🙂
However even though I have a LOT of hair I'll still wear a wig while going out and about fully femme, for example on a few planned excursions with other CDH girls in September and October. Male and female foreheads are different shapes, and the male hairline (no matter how much hair you have) is generally higher. This ensures that your forehead and hairline can be fairly obvious gender reveals even if you grow your own hair long.
When I had a makeover a couple of weeks ago I went in thinking that my own hair would be sufficient, but while I love it I discovered that I can look a whole lot more passable in a wig. Tracey Galligan at Femme Side spent a lot of time helping me to choose the perfect one, and the results of that can be seen in my photos. Once we'd selected it, there was no going back ... I had to buy one for myself!
So in answer to your question, yes I am growing my hair longer specifically to feel more feminine (partly I guess 'for the purposes of crossdressing' but also because I'm trans and now that I've taken early retirement from teaching I have greater freedom to express that). However I've also just spent way too much on a wig that I can wear on those occasions when I want the illusion to be more complete.
Hugs
Ellie x
@rebeccabaxter Yes I grew my hair out shortly after I started CD. It was about a year later it was nearly down to my shoulders when I got my hair colored for the first time. I so much hated the gray. Now I have my next hair coloring appointment in a week and a half.
My hair is about down to my boob's and will get a little trim also.
Cassie
Hi Becca,
For many years I sported a very male short back and sides, but at the start of the first COVID lockdown I started letting it grow. After the first lockdown I returned to the hairdresser and have since continued with appointments roughly every 6 weeks. I told the hairdresser that I wanted my hair to grow longer, so each time it was just a matter of 'tidying it up' which involved trimming it slightly. The overall result was that it took about 3 years to get my hair to a little below shoulder length. I have now agreed with my hairdresser that this is probably the best length for keeping it in good condition. You can see it in my profile picture.
I think my hair looks fairly good and feminine, but that is probably more for others to judge than me. I have not had any special styling, colouring or additions; I am very happy to just keep it as natural as it is. It is very fine and fair and does get oily very quickly, so I have to wash and condition it every other day. Like @emilysouthern I have been using Pantene products for several months now, but I can't for the life of me remember why I started to use them. And like others, I have found the benefits of using a wide toothed comb.
Others have suggested that hair growth slows down as you get older; I was turning 70 when I started to grow my hair out, so maybe that is why it took me a long time to get it to this length.
There are downsides to long hair of course. It blows in front of my face; when I look down to do something I often find I can't see what I am looking at (it is surprising how small an amount of hair in front of the eyes can seriously impair vision; and don't get me going on the culinary implications (delicacies such as curried keratin; jugged hair etc).
But all said and done, I love having my hair like this.
So Becca, if you go for it I hope you find it is a real success. Happy Hair Days.
Rebecca x
Now there's opportune for you. Two days ago I decided to let my hair grow so I can try styling it myself instead of using a wig.
I've tried a few different wigs and only really been happy with the latest, as soon as I looked in the mirror, I knew this was Allie. I also know that I can grow my own hair to the same length and style as the wig. In about 4-6 months I think.
What irritates me is that, two years ago, while I was still in my lengthy period of denial and repression, I got my hair cut quite short from a length of 30-40 cm! When I think what I could have - or a real stylist, might have done. 
As for temple hair, I haven't got a clue.
Allie x
Three years ago I decided to let my hair grow. It's now halfway down my back. I love the length and texture.
The hair at my temples grew too. It looks and feels exactly the same as the rest of my hair.
Long hair requires a fair amount of maintenance. I use a leave-in spray conditioner/detangler daily with a wide-tooth comb. I wash and condition my hair 1-2 times a week with quality products. I get the ends trimmed and my hair colored every 3 months. And I get root touchups as needed. Usually every 4-6 weeks.
/LK
Coming up to a year and a half ago, I decided to let my hair grow out. It is doing quite well, about 5" or more past my shoulders. I tie it in a ponytail with a scrunchie and tuck it under a ball cap, or my wig when in girl mode. I keep in in a ponytail all the time now, except washing it.. Lol
Liz is right about increasing care and maintenance.. thank for those tips Liz! I use Pantene hair products, and have a wide tooth comb.
It will be a big day for me when I work up the courage to get it trimmed & styled at a salon. Might do that on one of my trips out of town, before too long
Emily
Hi Becca,
I've had pretty long hair most of my adult life, with occasional whims / needs to keep it shorter. You can see my avatar. It'll probably get trimmed a couple of inches soon. My hair is pretty fine (including at the temples btw) and frizzy / fly away, and it gets unruly at that length and needs copious amounts of spray if it bothers me to present it tidily - that's just me. I prefer natural and don't go to any great lengths to style it. That's not to say a good stylist (or a more dedicated cd) couldn't do something more pleasing with it I'm guessing.
Also, at my age, it's receding, and getting thinner in places. But there's still enough bulk in there to make fitting it in a wig cap awkward. So nowadays I'm occasionally getting to a 'shall I take some shears to it?' moment. And go in the opposite direction as you!
Hair grows maybe a half inch max a month, so it'll be a slow process starting from a shaved head. I wouldn't presume to guess your age, Becca, but hair growth slows as you get older, and if it comes back curly, well that'll be longer to establish the same appearance of length.
Does it look feminine? Well, yes, simply because it's long! There seems to be an unconscious switch in many people's head - at least in UK culture - that jumps to the conclusion at first glance. I know I am a bit androgynous and dress unisex when I'm out and about, but I get 'mis' gendered quite often. Not that I mind of course.
Rereading this, I hope I haven't been too negative. I love my long hair. Why not just give it a try, and see how it goes?
I know I am a bit androgynous and dress unisex when I'm out and about, but I get 'mis' gendered quite often. Not that I mind of course.
I would offer that you are being gendered correctly Emma 😀
@emmat If I recall, my hair is quite wavy. I will be 70 later this month so I'm not hopeful for either speed of growth or coverage but I've only got to grow it a quarter of an inch to see if it's worth continuing; I suspect it will not be.
I always kept my hair somewhat long. I discovered as a teen that my face was very oily, and if I kept my hair a bit longer (about shoulder length), I had less problems with acne because the hair would absorb some of the oils. (I actually discovered the opposite; my acne always got worse after a haircut.)
In my 40's I was having trouble scheduling a hair appointment. I went to a stylist, and with working on weekdays and not having the time on the weekends, I went for quite a long time until my hair was down about 6 inches or so below my shoulders. I also needed a bit of length for extra weight to keep the hair down.
In my 50's is when I first went out dressed. I went to a transformation place, and although my hair was quite long, we tried on a few wigs. I really wanted to wear my own hair, so the owner ended up using some clip-on bangs (fringes) to me, which made a difference. I wore that for quite some time. It was later that I was "diagnosed" with a condition called MLF - "male-looking forehead" 😀 This condition affects a large percentage of the population, but is not serious and only a few are concerned about it. No matter what we did with my hair or with a wig, we had to cover the forehead or it would scream MALE!
Although my hair was long, I suffer from two other conditions. One is that my hair is less dense than a woman. If I gather up all my hair into a pony tail, the volume is about as much as if a woman takes what is in front of her ears. The second condition is something I inherited from my mother. The hairs are very fine as well, each being quite thin. Still, I could get away with it. As my hair started to grey, it would become wiry. It also ended up frizzing with just a little bit of humidity. I found coloring it not only made me feel younger, it was a coating on the hair so it wasn't so wiry and didn't absorb and didn't frizz and curl at the ends.
I did start wearing wigs just a bit below my normal hair length and pretty close to my natural color, and wear that most of the time. I go out in my own neighborhood and I'm seen by the same people, so I tend to keep with one wig rather than changing it up. The length is just below the nipple or bra strap, and I like the thicker hair.
During the COVID lockdown, my hair didn't really grow, and I probably lost a bit of length, because of breakage of the hairs (remember I said how fine the hairs were). It was still quite long, but the expected growth over 12-18 months of not getting a haircut didn't happen.
About a year ago, I started chemo. I wasn't going to get my hair colored if I was going to lose it, that would be throwing money away. It turns out I didn't lose it all, but it did become less dense, and the strong hairs tended to break and I lost considerable length. It's still down to my shoulders, but the grey has taken over. I'm due to get a coloring and trim the ends soon, making me feel better than having wild, untamable hair.
You asked some questions. Hair is said to grow about 1/2 inch per month, which would be 5-6 inches a year (they don't always grow continuously). You also asked about the sideburns. Before I was going out, I would get them neatened up when I went for a haircut, but they would always overgrow. I eventually just started shaving them completely off when I couldn't keep it square (all right, rectangular) and keep it from being overly curly. This has served me well, whether wearing a wig or my own hair with the clip-in bangs.
I now almost always wear the wig, and just wear the clip-in bangs when going swimming. I am fortunate enough to have enough Mediterranian DNA that I don't have a bald spot. My father never developed a bald spot either. My son started getting a bald spot around 25, and started shaving his head. When my ex started with female pattern baldness, she started shaving her head too.
Hi ...........it was SO's idea to grow it. From a mohawk cut, three or four years, it is now down to just above my waist. It's not perfect by any means, but love how it feels on my back, brushing it or teasing it while stuck in traffic takes off a lot of the stress and puts me in girlie mode. As for styling, just simple stuff pony tail with tie or clip, hang on one shoulder, school girl stuff. Yeah, more maintenance but enjoy it, feeling like such a girl.............oh say, there's this web site, Temu.com. They have cute pony tail extensions and not expensive! You bun your hair up and the extension has a claw clip to grab onto the bun. I like the ones with a mixture of black and grey.
As for being SO's idea, maybe she knows something? My man side initially showed resistance but girlie side was ESTATIC !!! My demeaner is a lot calmer these days. I think because I'm not having the inner struggle of male/femme and experiencing the frustration of feeling femme but dressed male and being treated as a male when you want to be a girl...........or dressed femme and your mind is male, so you see a silly man in a dress? These days I'm feeling femme and dressed in guy clothes, or feeling femme and dressed girlie ..............sometimes the vision of silly man in a dress comes but it goes away. It doesn't linger and bring me down.
SO and I occasionally talk about CD on an intellectual level, she's open to people that do it. Maybe hope for her to see my true self. These days she is recovering for eye surgery and cannot see very well. I make her meals, help her around, prepare her meds ........dressed!!Love being her assistant .........dressed enfemme!!! She's starting to see a little better . Wonder if she sees better than what she tells me? I feel like a sister or lesbian lover or sometimes a lipstick lesbian. Imagination runs wild in life in the closet. karley
If only. I would love to but have a big bald spot at the top so any attempts to grow it out would look a bit like "sad man trying to recapture youth". When I was in my 20's I had long hair but got it cut as it was always blowing in my face. Since then it has been a number 2 buzz cut. At least it makes wig fitting easier.
Mine is thinning at the crown. I had long hair in my early 30s, but have kept it short ever since. If I regrew it the bald patch would make it look like I am attempting a combover. In any case, the beauty of short hair means I can easily wear a wig of my choice of length and style (from short to waist length, though I am most often seen with a bob).
Anna
I say why not. Give it a go as others have said and see how it looks after it starts to grow out a little. I’ve been growing mine for maybe 15 months. I had about eight or nine months on it and cut it last year even though my partner told me not to. I regret it now lol. I don’t think my hair grows very fast but it’s getting close to my shoulders at its longest, my bangs are about at my chin, but my hair is very fine and Doesn’t have a lot of volume like I would prefer it to have.
it’s definitely a pain taking care of it and I have a job where it’s almost necessary for me to wash my hair every day, although I’m trying to only get away with it a few times a week. I’ve tried a couple different products and I’m going to start something new tonight and see where that gets me. I’m very grateful that I have a full head of hair.
I’ve actually never owned a wig for cross-dressing. I’ve tried a couple on, but just didn’t think they looked right on me. Yeah, I’ve got a massive forehead so unfortunately, I’ll always have to deal with that but overall, I love my hair.
I’ve got a massive forehead so unfortunately
A massive forehead because of its shape or because of hair coverage? A surprising number of women have hairlines that start close to the top of their head.
@harriette I would say because of the height of the hairline. My hair is kind of wavy and parts down the center most of the time. I think a lot of it just depends on the angle of the photo at least from my perception. I taken several selfies with different angles or changing my glasses and I go from thinking I look great to looking like Frankenstein with make up lol
I posted a couple pics in the public photo section. For the most part my hair was cooperating that night. Sometimes it gets really frizzy though that or it looks too oily. I’m going to try some different stuff to see if it will produce better results with thicker volume or at least appear so in photos.
When I was a teenager I had long hair which I loved how it looked on me as a male or female… had it cut short for years now I don’t have the patience to grow it back out and deal with that awkward phase where it’s between short and long.. now I wear a wig when dressed like most of us
Hi Rebecca, My hair was always just a little bit long but during covid I stopped cutting it and now the hair that you see in my profile pic is my real long hair. I agree with the things that others have said about it being extra work and dealing with bald patches and different textures. I've only had the ends of my hair trimmed twice since covid and I just wash it and throw it back into a pony tail each day. Much of my real hair is now gray so I dye it at home with Revlon Colorsilk about once a month. I also have some frontal balding that gives me a high forehead but I solve that by usually wearing a cap or just doing a combover. At times when I really want to look great and my hair needs a wash but there's no time, I just wear a wig that is a perfect match for my real hair and don't worry about it. This just seems to work for me and I like my long hair. It's fun and quick but a good wig always makes me look better. It took me about 2 years until I could start getting my hair to behave the way I wanted. I don't take any drugs for hair growth but do have hair like my mom's. I hope that helps you. Hugs, Marg
