Guys need friends, girlfriends!

Hi Leah, I just happened to be checking my email when I received notification of this new thread!

I too do not have many in person friends either. While I do try to keep in contact with them, I've had people that have since died! 🙁 Then a couple of phone friends ended up getting married also!

Fast forward to now, not only am I in the same boat, but I never have able to effectively find and meet other crossdressers at all. I mean while their are a couple of organizations out there in my area, it has not been simple to get in touch with them at all. Being what is basically a closet CD has not helped one bit either!

I literally arm wrestle with myself over this. At one point, I just simply no longer had the desire to crossdress at all! However, in very recent months, it has come back very strongly! I have noticed a direct correlation with stress and the desire!

I have put out some ad's, but some spaces are not nearly as scrupulous as here though. There are some really raunchy sites out there, and even if you are both straight and looking to be just friends. Some of the people on those sites do not get it at all!

So, I seem to eventually end up back here instead. Now, there are just a couple of other sites where you can potentially meet people, however they are far and in between.

So, on that note, would you like to be friends with me? Just let me know and send me a message.

Wishing you the best!

VR

Hi Lea,

Yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! Not only do guys need girl friends, guys need friends of both sexes and every gender. The first friend a lot of guys forget is the one they live with, spouse, partner, SO or whatever word is used. You will never ever replace a truly loving partner. They are also in a position to be the most destructive 'friend' too.

I have had my life shredded by 'friends' and I have also had my life saved by friends so I am wary. I have people in my life whom I trust and will confide in, but only a few real 'die for' true friends and all of those are women.

You have raised a good point, and one we all need to consider. I am happy to know many people and trust completely a chosen few.

Thank you for making me think.

Sian x

Hi Lea,

I have a wonderful wife and one real good friend I would call a best friend.

I also have many work friends but not what I would call best friends.

However since I discovered my feminine side and maybe just my age .

I have discovered a strong desire to have more friends and I would like to have those friends be C/D or trans friends.

I developed a close internet friendship once from here  however I kept pushing to cross over that thresh hold from internet to a real face to face friend and I drove her away.

I tend to try to talk too much also I guess.

I am truly sorry I did that and it hurt more than I could imagine and still hurts.

If she ever reads this I am truly sorry for being that impatient and being pushy I guess.

I still hope to have some close friends on here but its difficult as many on here have been hurt so much through their lives they do not want to get too close.

I am very Nieve and haven't been through the things a lot of the girls here have experienced.

I tend to open up too quick and just let people in too easily I guess.

as for feminine friends I have some casual female friends at work but the marriage dynamics is a tough thing also.

Trying to develop friendships sometimes makes me feel like a needy child.

And this internet friendship process is very difficult I find.

I definitely need more patience for sure.

Any body else feel that way.

Patty

Lea.,

You are right. We all need all kinds of friends. I am married so I get my wife as my friend plus I get her many girl friends as well. So, I am set on that front. You are spot on that men do not make friends as well as women. However, being in this CDH universe is the golden opportunity to make friends around a shared interest - crossdressing. I joined 3 weeks ago and I have made many friends here as a proof of what I am saying. We are dressing as women so this is our opportunity to explore our feminine side. And, making friends is part of that equation.

Alice Black

I’m lucky that I have a number of good friends, both male and female. I’m also very close to my three brothers and many of my cousins. I’m also very close, of course, to my best friend, my wife. None of them know about my cross dressing, so it has been a delight to make a new group of friends on CDH where at last I can talk freely about my secret passion.

I wonder if one day I might meet up with some of you, maybe as men, and share a pint of beer and talk football or as women and we can talk shoes.

Hi Lea that is a good point my wife has loads of female friends but I have nothing male or female....it seems unfair but having a female friend means I'm having an affair to her...to he honest I have been on this site for 5 days and you girls are brilliant...making me happy and giving great advice...so I feel girls are best at chatting  with friends and I for one am glad I am a crossdresser who has strong female tendencies

Love to all Rebecca xx

I've struggled to make long term male friends - which is fine , I've worked on my own for 23yrs so no connections via a workplace , nor had children so didn't meet other through a school network. I'm a vegetarian , non drinker , all very " un-Australian for a bloke " 😋 . Socially I have no trouble dealing with men but it soon becomes competitive & alpha ....& I've no energy to engage with that.

I've always gravitated to females at any social event , still do , I'm more comfortable on traditional female topics.

Fortunately I'm married to my best friend , she & I do a lot together , but can easily be solo if required 💐 Tiff

Like a few others have mentioned, my best friend by far is my wife of 35 years. I do have a number of long term male friends, none of which know about Amy, and I'd rather like to keep it that way. I've had many female friends over the years too, and a few that stayed in touch over the internet when I moved to a different area a couple of years ago.

All through my life I have always tended to make friends easier with women, and in my new area that trend seems to be continuing. I think I am a good listener, so I've had many who have told me quite intimate details about them and their lives.

The potential for sexual dynamics between men and women can lead to some feeling jealous, even when there is nothing to be jealous of. Some SO's can't seem to cope with, or cannot understand a close friendship between sexes that's not based around sex.

It is true that many men don't have a good network of friends, but also that network when there, needs to be able to help, and often it doesn't. I think that goes way back to our programming as boys, that men are strong and are supposed to stand on their own. Even when they can't.

Amy

Hi Lea,  You could not have initiated a better topic. Although my wife fully supports Stephanie’s growth and makes me love her more each day for doing so, I love this site as a place for making online friends to chat with and learn from. I have talked to several girls on CDH close by but I am not quite ready to meet them in person just yet. My best friend (male) works construction 7/12s so I don’t see him much and don’t think I could tell him about Stephanie. The rest of the people I know are just acquaintances, no real deep interactions. I love CDH because I can pour my heart out and just be me here. I hope my friends here will still be patient and willing when I have enough confidence to meet face to face because I truly desire to have a close by friend like me. Stephanie

Patty,

You should not feel like a needy child with regard to making friends. We are not just wearing woman’s clothes here. We are exploring our feminine side. Women are big on making friends( my wife is perfect  example  - she has many friends). Thus, making friends is definitely part of our exploration.

You are so right! This is something I have struggled with since finishing high school. For a variety of reasons I struggle a lot with finding and maintaining friendships. I have been cursed/blessed with being a very self-sufficient person. I rarely need help from other people in accomplishing tasks. If it is something important, I don't trust other people to do it! That tends to bleed over into my emotional life as well. There is something deep inside of me that sees solitude as strength. If I find myself relying on others for anything, that deep part tells me I am being weak and not authentic to my true self. I regard this pathological need to be independent as a weakness.

I have a lot of trouble making friends with either men or women. With men I feel like I am in constant competition to prove my worth as someone worthy of regard. With women I am so shy and intimidated that I have trouble talking at all. When I do talk I feel like I am being pushy or guilty of mansplaining or other toxic masculine behaviors that have the effect of silencing women. It also doesn't help that I have a subversive personality type that has me constantly feeling like the outsider or the reject within any community that I have participated in.

I really wish I had more friends of all flavors (cis, trans, gay, staight, bi, asexual, whatever). It's just so easy for me to feel rejected and the need to be alone to recover. It also doesn't help that I have total recall of every stupid thing I have said or done in my life.

How have people with similar struggles been able to overcome them?

Lauren