Have you seen a therapist?

I have, and am currently seeing one now. She's been great, especially in my getting to know my feminine side and the relationship with my wife. I have been somewhat meek in that regard, afraid of the wife leaving, etc. well she had me see myself for who I am, and I was able to talk to my wife about things. The wife didn't leave me and is a lot more aware and understanding than I thought wshe would be. I still see my therapist but mostly for other issues. If you feel you need to see one, please do. Depression can rear it's ugly beast in crossdressers and trans folks, and it's an ugly, scary and dangerous place to be. No need to go through this life alone, and, well, you always have us to help too!

I have never had the need to see a therapist about my dressing. What eased any concerns I had about dressing was alleviated through talking to other CD's either in person or on sites like CDH. All the discussions I have had and all the stories I have read have helped me accept who I am and be completely comfortable with being Fiona. I gave up trying to figure out why I do this, I don't care and am happy just the way I am.

I have a therapist that I have seen for over 30 years for various matters (doubts about having children, work and career related conflicts and challenges, and more recently - grief - because I lost my daughter). That therapist knows about my yearning or aspiration to dress and present as a woman, but honestly has not been helpful on transgender issues. She "thanked me" for telling her but she has not provided much insight or helpful advice other than to be strong and accepting of myself on this issue.

It could be my expectations are not realistic. She listens and is supportive but she does not provide any insight into why I am "gender ambiguous". And she has no real concrete suggestions to handle any issues with my spouse and family. She is good at getting me focus on how my life has been fulfilling and successful and full of love, and that is not nothing, but advice on understanding or satisfying my yearning to be feminine is not one of her strengths.

I am a big believer in using therapy to deal with challenging emotional and psychological issues - but in my case, when it comes to being feminine, I have learned more doing my own research. And since she is good at helping me with depression and self-doubt generally - it seems to work for me.

Good Luck Kerri - accepting ourselves is a challenge we all face. Wouldn't it be wonderful if dressing as a woman was seen as cool or even wise for those who are like us?

Hi all
I talked to a therapist once, She was totally worthless. She never asked what I was thinking, how I felt,or did I want to be a woman full time. Her only question was what does my wife think about my dressing.After an hour of that I thought to myself I do not need her to tell me I am trans. I examined my life from my earliest memories, experience and feelings and came to my own conclusion. This works for me. I know in my heart who I really am
Huggs
Abbey

My parents caught me dressing when I was about 15 and sent me to a therapist for my “problem”. Needless to say I wasn’t cured, but I convinced my parents I was. My next visit to a therapist was in 1998, and he diagnosed me with depression. We discussed my dressing up a couple of times, but it was never the focus of our sessions. He retired about two years ago, and I haven’t said anything about dressing up to my new therapist. I simply don’t see a need to bring it up. In my mind, dressing up isn’t a problem. I’ve accepted that this is who I am, even if I don’t understand the “why” behind it.

Half dozen marriage counselors and two therapists.  The marriage counseling ended each time at about the third session when the counselors basically told us that she was the problem.  Of the therapists, the female thought it was great and the male just cautioned me not to do so in front of my three year old daughter (her mother and I had separated and soon divorced) as she would doubtless tell her mother and I did not need that.

When my kids were in therapy, the therapist would spend a few minutes talking to myself and my wife about the marriage.

Later, we went specifically to a marriage counselor. The subject of my crossdressing did come up but wasn't a major focus. Bur she asked me to stop crossdressing and I asked her for something trivial and inconsequential (I had bigger issues but wanted to see if she was willing to do anything to change). When she wouldn't even try to keep her part of the bargain I went back to dressing in secret. I sought out a transformation place near me. The intent was to experience one time dressed in public as a woman. Instead it was a day that changed my life and is the reason I'm out in public as much as I am now.

To answer your questions, the reason I dress in women's clothing is that many instances (too many to put in here) in my childhood touching or feeling women's clothing left me with feelings of pleasure or endorphin rushes. So I guess I ended up conditioning myself to enjoy it. Why would I present fully as a woman? Because even today society frowns upon someone presenting as male but wearing obvious women's clothing. But I can get away with it if I present fully as a woman.

I don't feel I need therapy for my crossdressing. Over the years I have come to understand why I do it and accept it as a large part of who I am. I don't think a therapist can add any more understanding.

In my prior marriage we had meetings with two different therapists. My ex-wife expected the therapists to confirm her view that I was the problem. Each one, in the first ten minutes or so, said something along the lines of “why do you treat him that way?” We never saw either one again or another therapist. I thoroughly enjoyed the experiences. BTW, crossdressing was not an issue.

yes and yes

- R

Losing a child will overshadow any other item you would go to a therapist for I expect.

Very sorry for your loss…I can relate. 🥲

After being caught by my wife and confessing that the bras were mine and many fights and discussions later she convinced me to go to a therapist.  I found one myself and she was amazing.  She was and LGBTQ friendly therapist.   She said that denying my dressing would have disastrous effects on me and that I should continue to explore this side of myself. My wife did not agree so she found a Christian therapist which of course had a totally different view of the situation.   I was told that I was committing a sin by even considering dressing.  Unfortunately my wife is a very unaccepting lady and cannot see being married to a CD.   For now I have said that I would stop (which we all know is impossible).  But she doesn’t need to know that I still have my time as Ginger when needed.   One day when our kiddos are no longer at home and have moved on in life I am sure she will either leave me or try to accept.  Time will tell.

hugzz to all Ginger.

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Time for a third opinion.

I can not imagine going through and a marriage in such a situation. Good luck. You might want to point out to your wife's Christian therapist that she crossdresses every time she puts on pants.

My Mother caught me dressing when I was 14 and she took me to a therapist. After the session he talked to her and said it was not that uncommon for some boys to crossdress and had nothing to do with not having my Father in my life. (He died when I was 6). Although she was not thrilled with the therapists response she was more accepting after that.

I started going to counseling for a PTSD issue, which in turn opened up pandora's box to my sexual abuse and cross dressing.  Growing up I was never what I call a typical boy, not overly large in physical size nor good at sports.  I used to share a room with my sister growing up, which I think set some of my dressing desires in motion.

In counseling my biggest question was what started me dressing, why do I enjoy it, why would a guy want to wear lingerie and put on make up.  I have zero interest in guys not any desire to transition. While it would be cool to flip a switch for a day and experience being a lady, but still wish to remain a guy.  My first wife was no help in the shame and guilt calling me every name in the book.  My counselor convinced me that there was nothing wrong with dressing, it hurt no one,  I was not looking to be dressed in front of friends or family, so again it was no ones business what I did.

While I do feel at times some shame or guilt or why do i like  getting dressed up and why does it excite me so my. Only to know that I will never really know why and I will only drive myself crazy with trying to answer those unanswerable questions.

So I try to continue with her help to work through my dressing and "normalize" it for lack of a better description

You sound pretty normal to me.