How are you received by the public en femme

Follow up,

Hi Girls,

A lot of you are friends of mine who I have had personal interactions with and I thank yo so much for sharing your stories The good and the Bad.

Sometimes I wonder if the reaction is based On how pretty or passable we are .

I know I am not that passable but I am put together enough that I haven't had any problems.

My friend Samantha and some of you girls have taught me that confidence goes a long way.

Gabriel I am so sorry you had those bad experiences you poor dear you did not deserve that ugliness but thank you for sharing.We all love you sweetie

Girls I have a friend that had a bad experience at a Good will store and I really worry about her.

she is the kindest human being but she was clocked by a couple bullies in the store and it didn't become physical but they intimidated her to the point she has decided to not go out any more until recently.

I am trying to encourage her to go out with me but I am not pushing her.

We may go out this week but if she becomes unnerved we will turn around and go home.

This girl is like Family to me and I want her to get back on the horse per say, but I want to be a good friend to her.

Could you girls tell me if I am doing the right thing?

I love you girls thank you for taking the time from your busy lives to give me advice and spend with me.

Love Patty

Hi Patty,

I’m in the northeast and my experiences being out cross dressed have been positive.  I can recall one negative experience out of hundreds that wasn’t positive.

Alice

Patty,

Your girlfriend at Good Will.

I wouldn't push her to a breaking point. But I would encourage her to ignore jerks. Just be happy. It really gets me upset when I read heart break outings like this.

Just encourage her there will be more beautiful en femme outings than bad ones.

Hopefully she will be accepting and willing to going out again en femme. Encourage her its ok. Give small steps. Dont over push. She might feel threatened  Give her a hug from me.😀😊

Hugs

Natasha💋💋

I have been presenting as a woman in public for over 20 years in a wide range of venues and have never had a negative experience. I have always been totally accepted as a woman. Of course, I do not go to places where I might encounter the type of person that would give me a bad time if "read".

I had to chuckle a bit, when I read, "The Bible Belt."  I live in the heart of what was once the so called Bible Belt.  Fast forward to 2020, and the Bible Belt slipped off the waist line many decades ago.  Atlanta, Georgia is a very large international city and -very- LGBT friendly.  Home to the world's busiest airport, you see it all here, and CDs do not attract any special attention.  I would not recommend visiting a cowboy or motorcycle bar or anywhere there is heavy alcohol consumption going on, but anywhere else is safe for CDs.  I go everywhere cross dressed, and I cannot recall the last time I had a negative experience.  Oh, there is the occasional stare from those over 75, but that can be cured with a kind word and a smile.  Heck, weeks ago I even had a little old lady in a wheel chair in Walmart call me over to tell me my necklace was pretty.

The Pigeon Forge/Gatlinburg, Tennessee entertainment area is yet another example of what was once the Bible belt.  I have visited there many times and was cross dressed for the entire time.  Never once had a negative experience, but I did pass up going into a side street motorcycle bar.

I feel I'm received pretty well for the most part. We do hang out mainly at gay bars. But we have never had issues out in public.

-SR-

The only times I have really dressed in public were at gay pride festivals. The gay and gay friendly people at the festival were very accepting and kind to me. I got nice compliments and the second year I dressed in public, my trans friend said "you have really gotten the hang of this"...meaning, I looked less awkward, had better hair and makeup and carried myself better as a girl.

However, when I was leaving my hotel for the festival, in the elevator and in the hotel lobby, regular straight people looked at me strange, like I was an alien. I understand that it was their own issues that made them see me as weird but I really had to suck it up and be strong until I got somewhere more comfortable.

The experience made me think I'll never feel comfortable dressed as a girl in regular crowds of straight people but I also learned that I can deal with that discomfort just fine.

Although things can change at any time, so far my experience has been positive, with the exception of being mis-gendered from time to time. From December 2014 until the end of January 2016 I attended a monthly social gathering of crossdressers and trans women in various stages along the path. It was in a gay bar in Rochester, NY. It was about 100 miles from my home in Corning, NY. By the Spring of 2015 I also attended a twice a month gathering in Geneva, NY which was about 50 miles away. That was more of a discussion and support group with occasional social excursions. Somewhere along the way I realized that I was really a non-binary trans person. Going to those events and being around folks helped me a lot and took away most of the fear associated with what I was thinking and how I wanted to present. Both towns seem to be at least somewhat relaxed regarding crossdressers and trans people. Rochester is a pretty good-sized city and Geneva is a small college town.

At the end of January 2016 I retired and we relocated to the SoCal desert. I live in Cathedral City which is adjacent to Palm Springs. I hold (or have held) offices in non-profits, my car club and a city commission as DeeAnn. Again, other than the occasional mis-gendering (as recently as last night during a commission meeting!?!?) it has been OK. While I used to have breakfast, lunch or dinner with friends before things tightened up, I’ve never really been one to go to bars and clubs. I’m a talker and trying to talk over music and background noise doesn’t work for me...

Generally ignored or treated like a female, called maam.  I do notice if people are looking at me but not sure if it is more than they would anyone else or not but i try to have a smile, be confident and do what I was doing, look at phone, browse, jut ignore it.  Blending in is key, being in a skirt and heels at Home Depot is a bit unusual and lots of construction guys in there so I got a few looks lol. Being in jeans or leggings and a top in a mall is ignored.

I have been called sir a few times and they quickly apologize and correct themselves but it is a shot to the ego.  I have gotten a few cat calls which are flattering and discomforting all at once.

I do tend to stay to safe places, hotel, restaurant, stores, and go out in short spurts not spend most of a day out running errands as I would like to some day.

I have had mostly positive responses when out in public en femme.  Quite frankly, I do not think most people care...they are out living their lives and getting their stuff done.  Everyone else around them is just noise.  Now that sounds kinda bad, but I do think it is true.

I have had a few people look at me in stores, especially the last time I was in Target...earlier this week.  I have to say I was quite proud of myself as being comfortable and confident.  I walked around Target looking for what I needed and simply felt like I belonged.  Some people kinda looked at me, but I could not tell if they were "checking me out" or figuring out my secret.  From the way I felt I looked, I fell like it was the former and I am not trying to brag or anything.  I am simply trying to express my true feelings, and the mask helped as I do have some challenges hiding the shadow on my upper lip.

The one time that I had ANY uncomfortable feelings was in an elevator.  I had just left Janets Closet after a makeover.  I had on a multi-colored earth tones skirt, black top and kahki cardigan sweater.  Of course hose and heels.  I was in a hotel heading to my room.  I had my suitcase and purse and when I approached the elevator, another man arrived at the door at the same time and another was holding the door so we could both enter.  They both went to 2 and I went to 3.  There was no conversation in the elevator.  The doors opened and they left.  I never heard any talking or laughing or anything.  Maybe I was reading too much into it, but again...who cares.  I will never see them again.  I have no idea who they are and they do not know me.

Mostly great experiences out and about.  I would encourage it for those who are working to explore their feminine side.

Hugs  Dana

After my first real good makeover soon 13 years ago, I was rather nervous after the makeover, but when she called me "girlfriend" and ordered a taxi  back to the hotel I felt much better except in the lift when another woman also turned up... I looked the other way and she did not seems to pay any attention to me. Then same evening, it was my first trip to a restaurant as "Helene" and the vaitress indicated a table straight in the middle of the restaurant... asked for a more discrete table and my "nerves" calmed down.Think the most important when going out is self-confidence and ofcourse dressed more or less like all other women (I did once make the mistake in a roadside restaurant as I was the only "female" in a skirt - since then I drive in jeans like all others!). Now I could no longer bother what other think as long as they are polite and preferably treat me like a female, I go shopping (and if buying ladies clothings; try them in the ladies fitting room), to theaters, restaurants and have driven through customs and immigration without any problem. So a correct dress-code (like other women are wearing; look and observe), makeup and confidence, - no problem just go!